So You're Leaving
by Scarlett7
Summary: Complete! And now illustrated! Johnny has escaped his life in Tulsa only to find more trouble as a family secret is unveiled. Can Dally protect him as the pieces of his past spiral out of control?
1. So You're Leaving

I heard this song on the radio on the way to work and the story popped into my head. It's a songfic....eventually!

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story (They belong to S.E. Hinton) and I don't own the song "Can't Stop Loving You" by Phil Collins.

_**Buck's Tavern 4:30 a.m._

The thread-bare towel that usually blocked most of the sunlight from entering the room billowed slightly in the gentle night breeze. He hadn't even bothered to pull the make shift curtain shut tonight. He would need to be awake before the sun even had a chance to reach his eyes. Considering that it was almost dawn, and he'd slept all of about half an hour, Dallas Winston was not concerned about waking up in time. Trying to sleep anymore was proving useless as another wave of nausea passed over him. 

How much did I drink last night, he wondered vaguely. It didn't seem that he'd had enough to make himself sick in the morning. He'd actually taken it pretty easy last night. Anyway, this didn't feel like a hang over. He just felt sick. 

He sat up slowly and pulled on a t-shirt. Then he carefully got up and walked over to the window and looked out at the seemingly peaceful landscape below. All the night time noises, most of which came from the building he was in, had stopped and everything was quiet. From his window in one of the spare rooms in Buck's Tavern he could see the city skyline, some houses and the water tower that marked where the train tracks came through town. He just stared at it for a few minutes. It would be quiet like this for a while, even after the sun came up. No one here would be up before noon, except for him. And Johnny. 

As that thought entered his head, the nausea came rushing back so strong he barely had time to make it to the bathroom.

** _2 weeks earlier_

Dally found him one day sitting there on an old wooden crate behind The Dingo, poking at some rocks with a stick. His t-shirt was ripped at the neck and his face was cut up and bruised. He didn't see Dally at first and Dally just stood and watched him for a moment. He felt the anger building inside him, an anger he had felt so often he was almost becoming numb to it. 

"Johnny," he finally said.

The dark haired boy looked up in surprise, not having expected anyone to find him there, then immediately looked down, hoping to hide the shame written all over his face.

Dally walked over to him and put a hand on Johnny's shoulder. "Your old man?"

Johnny nodded. 

Dallas really hadn't needed to ask . Johnny never got in fights with anyone, never left their territory alone anymore. Dally and the rest of the gang had seen Johnny like this so many times. He took Johnny's arm. 

"C'mon, " he said softly. "Let's go get these cuts taken care of."

They walked in silence to the Curtis's house. Dally knew no one would be home yet, which would save Johnny from having any more attention drawn to him. They would all mean well, but Dally knew he just didn't like to talk about it. 

They walked up the steps and went into the house. They knew they were welcome anytime, day or night, whether anyone was home or not.

Johnny headed for the kitchen and put some ice in a towel for his bruises. Dally took some things out of the medicine cabinet and got a wet cloth.

They sat down at the kitchen table. Dally noted that Johnny had been unusually quiet and he seemed preoccupied with something- something other than his parents' cruelties. And he didn't look as... defeated as usual.

"Something on your mind, kid?" Dally asked as he dabbed the wet cloth on Johnny's face. 

Johnny looked at him. His expression changed suddenly from one of carefully masked determination to one of guilt. He looked down.

Dally didn't push him. He knew that Johnny wouldn't talk unless he wanted to.

After a fairly long silence, Johnny looked up. The determined look was back. 

"I've been thinking about getting out of here," he blurted out. "I have it planned out and I think I need to leave. For a while."

Dallas stopped tending to Johnny's wounds and stared at him in disbelief. "What?"

_**Buck's Tavern 4:35 a.m._

Dally sat on the edge of the tub, his head in his hands. He was still shaking and his stomach was not showing any signs of settling down.

'Great time to be getting sick, ' he thought miserably.

He stood up slowly and walked back into the bedroom. He laid back down on the bed and stared at the peeling wallpaper.

There has to be some other way, he thought desparatley. There _has_ to be.

But he knew there wasn't.

*****

"You're going to run away?" Dallas wasn't sure how to react to Johnny's statement, but part of him was angry. 

"I... I don't know.. I guess."

Dally's voice rose a bit and his eyes narrowed. "That's great. Where do you think you're going to go?"

Johnny sighed and looked pleadingly at him. "Dal..."

"No! This is crazy. I don't know where you think you're going, but the fuzz will eventually pick you up if you don't freeze or starve to death first and-"

"Dally! I have a place to stay. I've been writing letters to my cousin, Matt. We were real close about 5 years ago. He asked me how things were going and I told him. I don't know why, I guess it was easy to talk about everything when all I had to do was write it down. I told him everything. And he told me I need to get out of here and I think he's right!"

Dally was staring at him like he had two heads. It was too much for him to process all at once. And it was really making him mad. "Your cousin. What the hell, Johnny. Why do you need to go live with some family member you hardly know? You don't think your parents are going to send social services after you?" The minute that came out of his mouth he knew the answer.

Johnny looked almost amused at that, but he was getting too nervous about Dally's temper to be amused about much of anything.

"No, I don't. And even if they did, they only have two years to find me. Once I turn eighteen, they can't touch me anymore, " he said with conviction.

Dally was pacing the floor and running his hand through his hair. 

Johnny continued. "Anyways, he's got a great job- he runs his own business and he said I could help out and he's got plenty of room and-"

"Stop it! Johnny, this is crazy. You can't just leave. You can't just... all of a sudden... decide that you're leaving and then-" Dallas was stammering. He didn't know what to say. And that was making him even angrier. At first, he thought Johnny was just toying with the idea, but it was becoming quite clear that he had every intention of leaving Tulsa.

Leaving Tulsa.....

"Dal, would you rather I stay here and keep getting beat up by my old man a few times a week and the socs on the other days? I... I just can't take much more of this." Johnny was afraid to look at Dally now. He knew if Dally pushed too much, he'd do whatever he said. If Dally said he wasn't going to go, he wouldn't go. He was already starting to lose his nerve. Maybe this idea was crazy...

But Dally was thinking about something else at this point and he was looking at Johnny with his arms folded. "Where exactly does this cousin of yours live?"

Johnny's stomach went cold.

"Well?" Dally demanded.

"Near Harrisonburg.... Virginia"

Dally just stood there, stunned.

"Dally," Johnny almost whispered. "This is really hard..."

Dally turned and stormed out of the house, slamming the door.

*_*Buck's Tavern 4:40 a.m._

As he lay there, he thought about Johnny in Virginia. 

He'll be happy, Dally thought. He'll be safe. 

He thought about Johnny not having to worry about someone hitting him every time he turned around. Maybe he'd like working with his cousin. Maybe he'd get to see the ocean. Dally had seen the ocean once when he was in NY. He noticed as he lay there thinking, that his stomach was settling a little. He kept thinking. Maybe Johnny would be really happy. And no one will hurt him anymore.

And he tried to picture what it would be like after Johnny was gone. But he couldn't. He just felt an empty nothingness and his stomach began to feel rotten again.

He didn't have a hangover. And deep down he knew he didn't have the flu.

Johnny was leaving.

And it was killing him.

*****

Johnny was sitting in the vacant lot that night staring at a small fire he'd made to keep warm. Dally could see him even from where he stood on the other side of the street.

He'd brooded for the rest of the day, but, for once in his life, he'd finally tried to think of the whole situation from someone else's point of view. And by nightfall, he'd decided he needed to talk to Johnny.

As Dally approached the small fire, Johnny heard him coming and jumped a little. 

"It's just me," Dally said looking at his feet. He sat down beside Johnny.

Johnny stared at him. He was surprised Dally was even talking to him after how mad he'd been.

"So, uh.." Dally took a long drag on his cigarette. " This cousin of yours... Matt, whatever his name is...what's he do?"

Johnny's mouth dropped open. "You... your OK with me going?"

"I didn't say that," Dally snapped.

Johnny looked down.

Dally scowled. He was still a little mad, but he knew Johnny felt terrible, and he just couldn't stand that. "Look, Johnny, I'm not mad... "

That was kind of a lie, Dally thought, but he went on. "You just threw that whole thing at me so fast and I didn't have any time to think about it... like you did. Virginia's a long way from here. I just don't want to see you get hurt is all, I mean I don't like to see that here, but there, you'd be so far away..." 

Johnny tried to hide his surprise at how Dally was talking. He usually didn't care about anyone but himself, but he seemed genuinely worried. "Dal, nobody's going to hurt me there. That's why I need to go..."

"I know."

"I'll come back, Dal. Two years, that's all I need."

Dally looked at the fire. "That's a long time, Johnnycake."

They sat in silence for a while. Then Dally asked, " Have you told the boys yet?"

Johnny shook his head. "I don't know if I should. I told you because I didn't think you'd try to talk me out of it.... and I need something that I think you could probably help me with."

"What?"

"Matt's sending me all the cash I need to get a train from here to his home town. But they're going to ask to see some ID, and I'd rather not leave a trail...."

"So you want some fake ID."

"Yeah... I don't know. Man, this whole thing is crazy isn't it." Johnny pushed his hair back and sighed.

Dally looked at him finally. "Johnny, you found a way out. It took guts to get even this far. If this is what you want, I'll get you what you need."

Johnny looked up gratefully. "I don't know what I want Dal. But I know if I stay here...."

Dally nodded.

"Oh, to answer your question, Matt is a veterinarian. He just graduated and started his own clinic." Johnny stated.

For the first time in a while Dallas Winston grinned. He thought of Johnny spending his days taking care of puppies. "Johnny the vet."

"Vet's assistant" Johnny corrected. "And not really, I don't know enough about that kind of stuff. I'd just be helping out."

Dally just shook his head still smiling.

_**Buck's Tavern 4:45 a.m._

Dally paced the room almost franticly. _What_ is wrong with me, he thought as his heart raced. He was settling his stomach by sheer will and not doing a great job, but now his head was throbbing he could feel his heart beat. He was looking for something at the moment. He wanted- he _needed_ to give Johnny something, but as he circled the small room, he realized how little he actually had. Switchblade? No, Johnny has one. Money? He has that too, and Dally hardly had any money anyway.

He dug around in the drawers of his dresser. Great, he thought. Here you go Johnny, here's a sock to remember me by.

And then he spotted something. It was an old photo in a little black frame of the gang hanging out in the lot. They were all in it. Pony's mom had taken it. She'd given it to Dallas because he'd stayed out of trouble for a whole week or some crazy thing like that. He smiled a little when he looked at it. He'd been about 13 at the time. Johnny was about 12. It seemed like a hundred years ago. He'd kept that picture because it reminded him of better times. When the gang was younger, when the Curtis parents had been alive. It reminded him that he had a good side. Mrs. Curtis had seen that. 

He took the picture out of the drawer and held it for a few minutes. He would give this to Johnny. It was the only thing he had that was of any sentimental value. Or really of any value at all.

It's going to be all right, Dally told himself for at least the tenth time as he put the picture in the pocket of his coat.

*****

Within a few days, Dally had Johnny's new identification. He handed it to him one afternoon while they were waiting for Pony to come home from school. 

"Here you go, Johnnycake. It's the new you."

Johnny took the envelope hesitantly. 

"Go on, open it!" Dally seemed almost excited.

Johnny pulled out some paper work and a photo ID card and read the name.

"Joseph... Winston?!"

"Yep. That's right." Dally looked quite proud of himself. "I made you my kid brother- officially."

Johnny looked at him in admiration. Dally was smoking away proudly on his cigarette. To him it was all a joke on the authorities, but Johnny was touched. "That's tuff enough, huh. Thanks, Dally."

"Now we just go down to the station and pick up your ticket. No sweat, Joey....." Dally said trying out the new name on him.

He thought about it and then made a face. "Nope. You're a Johnny. But that was too obvious."

"The Winston part is probably pushing it," Johnny laughed. 

"Nah, it's pretty common here. I checked the phone book."

"Well, when I come back, maybe you could change my first name back."

Dally was quiet for a minute. He looked off into the distance as he often did when he was thinking about something. "Sure, kid. Anything you want."

That evening, Johnny had decided he would tell the rest of the gang the news. Dally went off to the Dingo. He didn't want to be around for that. 

_**Buck's Tavern 4:50 a.m._

Dally tried to remember how this had all started. He vaguely remembered Johnny receiving letters from a cousin, but he'd never really discussed what was in them. He tried to remember meeting Matt. He thought he had, a long time ago. Matt had lived in Tulsa for a while, but he'd moved very soon after Dally had arrived. And he'd been so much older than everyone in the gang that he never had seemed to really be a part of their group. 

It was already two weeks ago that Johnny told him he was leaving. It seemed like yesterday, things had happened so fast. Ponyboy had taken the news really hard. He had stuck beside Johnny like glue after that. He'd even ditched school a few times to hang out with him. Darry hadn't gotten too upset about it- he knew Ponyboy wanted to spend as much time with Johnny as he could before Johnny left. Pony had begged to come to the train station, but they had all decided it would be best there weren't a lot of people there so Johnny could sneak away quietly. Two greasers at the train station would be less noticeable than three.. or seven for that matter. They had all agreed that someone should go with Johnny, and when Dally said, "I'll go," he used a tone that no one dared argue with. 

Dally felt bad, in a way. He knew how much Johnny meant to the gang. This was hard on everyone, but at the same time he was relieved. He was going to have a hard enough time saying goodbye to Johnny himself. He didn't need another over-emotional person making it harder. If Soda, Two-bit or Pony came along, Dally was sure there'd be bawling. At this point, he was beginning to wonder if _he_ would be able to keep it together. And besides, he _had_ to do this. It had to be him. He didn't know why.

There was a small knock at the door. Dally breathed and tried to focus on anything but the sudden churning in his stomach.

Johnny poked his head in the door. He looked tired. He set a small bag down on the floor.

"Did you sleep ok, kid?" Dally asked.

Johnny shook his head no. On top of looking tired, he looked sad and scared.

That look is why he has to go, Dally reminded himself as he felt a twinge of sorrow. He won't have that look anymore where he's going. He put his hand on Johnny's shoulder. "Hey, buddy, it's gonna be all right."

Johnny nodded. 

Dally picked up his coat and handed Johnny a cigarette. 

"You all set?"

Johnny took a deep breath. "I guess."

Dally picked up his bag and gently pushed Johnny towards the door.

_So you're leaving_

_In the morning _

_On the early train,_

_Well I could say everything's all right_

_And I could pretend and say goodbye._

They walked together down the silent hallway of Buck's Tavern. Dally had never seen the place like this. It was almost spooky. He was so used to the noise. They went out to the front steps to finish their cigarettes and wait for the taxi. The sun hadn't come up yet and the air was very cold. A few stars still lingered in the early morning sky.

"So Matt's gonna meet you in Harrisonburg?"

Johnny nodded. 

Dally could tell he was scared. He didn't talk much in general, but when he was scared, he really shut up. "You think you'll like working with critters?"

Johnny actually brightened a bit at the mention of the job.

"Yeah, I think it'll be ok," he said quietly. Then he looked up and Dally could see excitement in his eyes. "Matt says he takes care of strays too. He says I can have my own dog- any one I want."

Dally looked at him. Johnny had always liked dogs. "Any ONE?"

Johnny grinned sheepishly "Well, maybe two."

Dally was satisfied that he'd gotten a smile out of him.

_Got your ticket,_

_Got your suitcase,_

_Got your leaving smile._

_I could say that's the way it goes,_

_And I could pretend and you won't know_

_That I was lying,_

Johnny was looking a little more comfortable. Which, Dally was surprised to discover, actually made him feel worse. He wanted Johnny to be happy, but when he finally was, Dally felt something he could only describe as hurt. He didn't know why. He had been so confused the past few weeks. Then he looked at Johnny. That was his friend, his kid brother. Dally had been serious about that when he picked out Johnny's new name. Johnny suddenly looked a little older, a little more sure of himself. Dally knew he couldn't protect him if he stayed. Things had been getting worse for a long time, no had wanted to admit that. That was why Johnny had to leave. Dally felt that he had failed in some ways. The only thing left for him to do now was to let Johnny go. Push him away to somewhere that he could be happy, some place where he wouldn't need to be looked out for. Dally knew the only way to do that was to make sure Johnny got on that train. As hard as it was and much as it seemed to be ripping out his own heart, it was the last thing left that he could do to protect Johnny. He realized he would miss Johnny terribly, and he suddenly understood why he felt the way he did.

_'Cause I can't stop loving you_

_No I can't stop loving you_

_No I won't stop loving you. _

_Why should I?_

In the distance a set of headlights started to get brighter.

"That's probably our ride, " Dally said. 

Johnny crushed out his cigarette and picked up his bag.

A taxi pulled up to Buck's and stopped. Johnny and Dally walked down the steps and got in. They didn't speak on the way to the train station, but it was not an uncomfortable silence. Dally had grown accustomed to Johnny's quiet ways and sometimes he found more was said through Johnny's silence than other people's words.

The train station wasn't crowded. Some business people wandered around with coffee and brief cases, making their morning commute to work.

Johnny and Dally walked over to the gate where Johnny's train would arrive.

Dally was shaking again and his insides were cold. His stomach wasn't bothering him as much anymore, but there was an aching in his chest, the likes of which he had never felt before in his life. He fought for control as he reached into the pocket of his coat. Fortunately, Johnny appeared to be preoccupied with his surroundings. He was scared enough right now for Dally's emotional state to go unnoticed. 

_We took a taxi to the station_

_Not a word was said._

_I saw you walk across the floor_

_For maybe the last time, I don't know._

Dally pulled out the picture and took one last look. "Johnny?"

Johnny looked over at him.

"I uh... found this and .... I thought maybe you'd like to take it with you," he breathed carefully- _control, Dallas,_ he told himself- and handed the picture to Johnny.

Johnny's eyes glowed. "Hey! I remember this picture! Mrs. Curtis gave it to you for staying out of trouble, " he laughed. 

Dally nodded. part of him thought it was funny, but there was no laughter left in him now. "Yep. Now I'm giving it to you, so you have to stay out of trouble."

"Oh, yeah! Like you did?" Johnny was still smiling, but then he caught sight of Dally's expression. He almost stepped back, it surprised him so much.

Johnny had never seen pain in Dally's face before, let alone so much. He was trying so hard to hide it, Johnny wondered how much of it he couldn't even see. 

"D-Dal?" Johnny practically whispered. "Are you ...ok?"

Dally took Johnny by the shoulders and looked right in his eyes. "Listen to me, kid. If this doesn't work out for you, if you change your mind, you call me. Call Darry. You let us know. And I swear we'll get you back here as fast as we can. No questions asked, whatever it takes. I want you to remember that... OK?"

Johnny nodded. He was too stunned to speak. He'd never seen Dally so concerned, so emotional. Were those tears in his eyes?

Dally let go of him and rubbed his forehead. "I didn't ...get a lot of sleep... last night."

Johnny nodded, still staring at him. He suddenly felt bad. What was he doing? How could he just walk out on Dally? On all his friends? They all cared about him and he was just going to leave.

Dally caught the pained look in Johnny's eyes and knew exactly what he was thinking. "No you don't, kid," he said softly. "You know this is the right thing to do for yourself. C'mon... "

Dally started herding him towards the gate that was now boarding.

"Dally," Johnny's voice shook.

Then Dally pulled him forward and hugged him. "You have to go, Johnnycake. Go where nobody's going to hurt you anymore."

Then he pulled away and looked him in the eye again and said "But don't you lose touch with us."

Johnny returned his gaze with tear filled eyes. "I'll come back Dal, I swear I will."

Dally messed up his hair. "Go on, kid."

And with that, Dally turned abruptly and walked off.

_Feeling humble,_

_Heard the rumble_

_On the railway track._

_And when I hear the whistle blow,_

_I walk away so you won't know_

_That I'll be crying......_

Johnny took a deep breath, choked back a sob, and turned and boarded the train.

Dally had turned quickly because a tear had finally escaped and more were threatening to follow. He walked away from the small crowd starting to line up at the gate. He thought he would at least make it out of the building, but didn't get all that far before the ground blurred to the point were he could barely make out where he was going. His knees began to buckle. He collapsed on a near by bench, put his head in his hands and gave in to the tears. 

_Because I can't stop loving you_

_No I can't stop loving you_

_No I won't stop loving you_

_Why should I_

_Even try?_

Dally knew Johnny would be on the train by now, and he was sure at this point that he had walked far enough not to be seen. 

He was wrong.

_I'll always be here by your side_

From a window on a slowly moving train, a small dark haired boy watched him with big, sad eyes. Had Dally looked up, he might have seen him mouth the words "I'm sorry."

_I never wanted to say goodbye_

But Dally just sat there alone on the bench, crying tears of sorrow and relief, missing Johnny, and hoping with all the strength he had left, that someday he'd see him again .

_I'll always be here if you change, change your mind....._

_So you're leaving_

_In the morning_

_On the early train_

_Well I could say everything's all right, _

_And I could pretend to say goodbye_

_But I would be lying_

_Because I can't stop loving you_

_No I can't stop loving you_

_No I won't stop loving you_

_Why should I _

_Why should I_

_Why should I_

_Tell me why _

_Why should I_

_Even try?_


	2. Saying Goodbye

Hello again! Thank you so much to those of you are STILL reviewing my stories. It's always such a nice surprise to find a new review for an old story. You have really encouraged me to keep going! I'm a little nervous because I never intended to continue this story. I thought the ending worked the way it was. But the story had other ideas. While I was working on "Safety in Numbers", this kind of unfolded all by itself, so I hope I don't totally ruin it. Anyhow, my point is, this is going to be a LONG story. I will update as frequently as I can because, from what I gathered from my last fan fiction, I know that everybody wants frequent updates!

A quick synopsis of this continuation: this falls under several catagories- drama, tragedy, some humor and lots of angst!! It is primarily a Dally and Johnny story, but the rest of the gang will have their big parts too. Another thing I wanted to mention is that there will be a lot of song-fic chapters. A good portion of the story line was inspired by song lyrics and quotes. You could practically put together a soundtrack for this by the time it's finished. So anyhow, I hope you enjoy it, and as always, reviews are very much appreciated!

Jazzyumbrella- this isn't exactly new, but here you go! Thanks for the encouragement!

I do not own The Outsiders or "Somebody's Always Saying Goodbye" by Anne Murray

_"Railroad station, midnight trains,_

_Lonely airports in the rain,_

_And somebody stands there_

_With tears in their eyes._

_It's the same old scene, _

_Time after time._

_That's the trouble with all mankind,_

_Somebody's always saying goodbye..."_

_ Anne Murray_

Johnny woke up as the train slowed to a stop at yet another station. This is going to take forever, he thought.

He was really doing it. He was really leaving. Never again would he feel the sting of his father's beatings. No more would he have to see the apathy in his mother's eyes.

He had hoped the experience would feel liberating, maybe even a little exciting. But it didn't. It didn't change the fact that his father couldn't stand him and that his mother didn't care. There was no way for him to change that. He had to be content to know that he could only change his own reaction to their abuse. This time his reaction was to walk through the door that had been open to him for so long. He'd had a lot of letters from his cousin Matt, more than he'd let on to Dally, inviting him to come and stay in Virginia for a little while. Or forever, if he wanted.

He had burned every one after he'd read them. His father would've made sure he never saw another letter again. Johnny's father didn't get along with the Virginia relatives. Johnny had never understood why. They were kind people, from what he could remember of them. He shook his head at the thought. His father didn't get along with anyone.

Johnny stared out the window. He tried to take in the scenery and let go of the heaviness weighing down on his heart. He missed the gang. He would miss them even more in the days to come, he knew. His nerves had settled slightly in the few hours he'd been on the train. But calming his nerves only made more room for guilt to take over. He hated leaving them, especially Ponyboy. Ponyboy had been so upset when Johnny broke the news to him that he was leaving. Johnny had been afraid he was going to cry. Pony had begged him to stay and Johnny had come very close to changing his mind.

But he didn't. He had left his best friend. Things had gotten that bad. He had walked away knowing that Ponyboy was devastated, the whole gang was upset, and worst of all, and perhaps the most surprising, he would never forget seeing Dally sitting on that bench, his head in his hands, and...

Johnny tried to convince himself that he hadn't seen it, but there was no mistaking it. There had been actual tears in Dally's eyes. Dallas Winston. The guy who nothing touched, who didn't care about anything.

Johnny hadn't felt so sad since the Curtis brothers' parents had been killed. That had definitely been much worse, though, he told himself. But this feels pretty bad... and different. There wasn't anything he could have done about Ponyboy's mom and dad. But this... he _did_ this to Ponyboy, and the gang, and to Dally. For Dally to have broken down like that it must have really hurt him.

Dally's fine, he told himself again. He was just tired. He said he hadn't slept much last night. He'll be fine. Dally's always fine. And I'm going to be fine. And so will Ponyboy.

Johnny stared out the window. He was not convinced.


	3. Wings

I do not own "The Outsiders" or "When You Come Back Down" by Nickel Creek.

Dally sat there for a while, exhausted. He had never felt so drained. His eyes were bloodshot and his face was stained with traces of tears. He had only cried a little, but the sensation was so foreign to him that just the few tears he'd shed had taken a good deal of energy. He felt oddly numb now, sitting there alone in the train station. A few people gave him a quick glance, but most walked right by and ignored him. One elderly lady paused for a moment and gave him a sympathetic look, but she kept on walking. Dally noticed that he felt nothing. Ordinarily, people looking at him funny would have really set him off. But not today.

The moment he'd turned and let Johnny go, a piece of him was gone. He felt no anger, no rage at the world. He felt... relieved?

Relieved.... but how could relief and pain co-exist this way? No, he didn't feel pain. He _couldn't_ feel pain right now. He was so empty inside. So full of nothingness.

Eventually, he got up and headed to a men's room where he splashed cold water on his eyes. He caught a look in the mirror and what he saw startled him. He looked just like he felt, which was pretty bad.

Guess I aught to head on home, he thought. Maybe he'd just crash for the rest of the day. He left the train station and walked out into pouring rain. He was completely soaked within minutes, but he hardly noticed. He just kept walking. He didn't really know if he was going to catch another taxi, or hitch hike or what.

What have I done? He kept asking the question over and over, part of him certain that if he continued to ask, somehow, he would start to believe that this was all a mistake. He would come up with an answer that was so convincing, a solution so much better, that he would have to bring Johnny home. But somewhere, deep inside his mind, deep inside his soul, he knew this was how it had to be. Johnny had a window of escape, and he had to go, before it was too late.

_You've gotta leave me now_

_You've got to go alone,_

_You've got to chase the dream, _

_One that's all your own, _

_before it slips away._

After a while his legs began to ache. His stomach was growling and he was really cold. He finally ended up hitching a ride with some guy who drove him the rest of the way to the Curtis's. Originally he had intended to just go back to Buck's, but he wasn't thinking and he told the guy Darry's address. When he got out of the car, he realized what he'd done, but he was too tired to bother going anywhere else. He stared at the porch for a minute, thinking of Johnny. Johnny wasn't there... a brief feeling of intense pain filled him, but he buried it. He wondered vaguely if Johnny was feeling anything like he was. Probably not, he thought, trying to find some comfort in the idea. Johnny was free. He was safe.

_When you're flying high,_

_Take my heart along._

_I'll be the harmony _

_to every loney song_

_that you long to play._

He was too tired to notice that the Ford was parked in the driveway and at least Darry was home. In his mind, only an hour had passed. In reality, it was after 5 p.m. He had sat in the train station for quite a while and then walked for miles, not necessarily in the direction of "home", without even realizing it.

He just kept thinking as he climbed the steps... Johnny's going to be fine, Johnny's going to be fine....what have I done?

He hoped Johnny remembered what he had told him, that if he changed his mind, he could always come back.

_When you're soaring through the air_

_I'll be your solid ground _

_Take every chance you dare,_

_I'll still be there _

_When you come back down._

He reached the top of the Curtis front porch and opened the door. He was completely drained of energy.

I'll crash on the couch for half an hour then I'll head over to Buck's, he thought. But at that moment, he realized someone else was there. He almost jumped when saw Darry moving about in the kitchen.

Darry just stared at him from the other room. "Where have you been?" he asked putting down the dishes he was setting out at the table.

It sounded so much like he was talking to Ponyboy that Dally almost wanted to laugh.

Darry walked over to him. "Dally? You're soaked- you're freezing! How long have you been outside?"

Dally just looked at him blankly. His eyes finally widened when he saw the clock.

He let Darry lead him to the couch. "Sit down, " he commanded and hurried off to the hallway. He came back with a couple towels that he handed to Dally.

Dally just sat there.

Darry got down beside him and took one of the towels. He took off Dally's jacket that was heavy with rain water.

Dally leaned forward and put his head in his hands.

Darry put the towel hesitantly around Dally's shoulders. Something was very wrong, he didn't know what. He had seen Dally cool and calm, he'd seen him very aggressive and he'd seen him mad as hell. He'd never seen Dally behave the way he was now. It was almost like... his spirit was gone... like everything that made him the way he was had changed.

"Dally?" Darry talked to him quietly and cautiously. He didn't know what to expect. From the way he knew Dally, he sort of expected him to just blow up with anger at any minute, but he wasn't himself at all. "Kiddo, I think you've been outside too long. You're gonna make yourself sick, if you haven't already... Look, why don't you go put on some dry clothes and have something to eat. Are you hungry? Have you even eaten at all today?"

Dally shook his head without looking up. "No," he said weakly, trying to muster some anger, some of his old self, but it just wasn't there.

Darry was getting a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. Dally was messed up. He was never quiet. He was never so... docile. He actually looked like he was on the verge of tears. Darry felt bad. He hadn't realized what losing Johnny would do to Dally. He had had a suspicion that Dally might take this hard, but this was worse than he had suspected. He had already begun to have concerns for the rest of the gang, but now he realized his main concern might need to be refocused.

Finally, Darry squatted down beside the couch. "You know what, Dal?" he asked softly. "Johnny's ok. He's gonna be all right."

Without looking up, after what seemed like an eternity, Darry barely heard him whisper, "How do we know that?"

Darry wasn't prepared to answer the question. He didn't know. But he didn't have time to answer, becuase Dally spoke again.

"I didn't think this would be.... so hard."

His voice, again, was almost inaudible, but Darry could clearly hear the pain in his words. It took every ounce of effort he had for Darry to control his reaction. Who _was_ this? Nothing was hard for Dallas Winston. And he certainly wouldn't admit it if it was. He was terrified, Darry realized. Terrified that he had made a horrible mistake in letting Johnny go and he was too far away to protect him now.

Darry thought for a moment before he responded, chosing his words carefully, and hoping that he could be of some small help to his grieving friend. "Yeah, I know. We all miss him. But you know what? He's safe, Dally. That means we'll get to see him again. I know we will." Darry tried to sound as convincing as he could. "Tomorrow night he'll be sleeping in a bed in a house where nobody will hurt him. He'll be warm, he'll have enough food to eat. He'll be able to go for walks, hang out, he won't have to be afraid anymore... And he'll be dying for you to come and visit him so he can show you his new life... And probably his new dog."

Dally glanced at him for a second. Darry caught a fleeting glimpse of what he thought might be amusement as Dally processed that thought. Then he leaned back against the couch, his eyes glazed over with exahustion. A drop of rain water fell from his hair and ran down his forehead. Darry wiped it away carefully with the corner of the towel, still cautious to get too close as Dally could lash out at any time.

Darry stood up. "C'mon," he said as he took Dally by the arm and lead him down the hallway to Soda's room.

He pulled some sweatpants and a shirt out of the dresser and handed it to Dally. "Put on some dry clothes and lie down for a little while. I'll get you something to eat. And Dally, "he paused and looked Dally in the eyes, not really sure what to say. "Just because he's not down the road doesn't mean that he doesn't need you anymore. He's gonna call here eventually. He's probably really scared right now and he probably really misses the gang. He's gonna need everybody to be strong for him. When he calls, he's gonna want to hear your voice. He's gonna want to hear you tell him that everything's ok.You've got to take care of yourself, keep your strength up. He still needs us. He still needs _you_, Dally. This _was_ the right thing to do..... It's not easy takin' care of little brothers."

Dally finally made real eye contact with him. Darry smiled slightly and headed off to the kitchen.

After a few minutes, Ponyboy and Soda came into the house.

Dally listened as the door slammed shut behind them.

"Pony?" Darry called.

There was no reply, only the sound of Ponyboy's door closing.

"He hasn't said anything all day," Dally heard Soda say. "Steve's in a real sour mood and Two-Bit- he hasn't even smiled once today!"

"I know, little buddy. Everybody's takin' it hard. But it's gonna be ok."

"How do you know, Darry?" Soda said, his voice despondant.

"I just do, all right?" Darry replied reassuringly.

How do you know, Darry.... Dally repested the question in his head. You don't know. Nobody knows.

Eventually, Dally gave in to exhaustion and drifted off into an uneasy sleep.

Darry set out some plates for dinner. I'm going to be doing a lot of damage control around here for a while, he thought. I'll have to get after Johnny for leaving me with such a mess.

He immediately thought better of that- Johnny would be crushed if he knew what this was doing to everyone.

Dally woke up about 7 hours later. It was about midnight and he wasn't sure where he was. He looked around, and slowly, as his eyes adjusted, he realized he was in Soda's room. Then he remembered lying down for a minute after he changed into the dry clothes Darry had given him.

I must've fallen asleep, he thought.

Soda usually slept in Pony's room anyway, so it didn't matter that he had taken the bed. His stomach growled.

A clap of thunder, loud as a gun shot made him jump. His first instinct was to go see if Johnny was sleeping in the livingroom. Johnny was not terribly fond of thunder storms and many times, if Dally was around, he would go and sit with Johnny until it passed.

Dally loved thunderstorms. It was one of the few things in nature that he actually took great pleasure in observing, though he would never admit it to anyone. But Johnny hated them, and Dally could tell. So he always made a point to be around Johnny if he could when there was one.

But then he remembered... Johnny wasn't in the livingroom. Dally, in his groggy state, felt a surge of what he could only describe as mild panic.... What if Johnny was all alone in a strange place and scared to death?

Dont be ridiculous, he told himself. It probably isn't even raining where he is, he's so far away by now...

That thought did nothing to ease his tension. He got out of the bed and headed for the kitchen. He had to get some food.

Darry had left a plate in the refridgerator for him. He got out a fork and had just sat down to eat when the phone rang. It was Friday, and it was not unusual for someone to call the Curtis house that late. What was unusual was that everyone in the house was asleep

He picked it up. "Hello?"

"Dal?"

Dally's stomach knotted. "Johnny? Johnny, you ok, kid?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. We had kind of a long stop here, so I thought I'd give you guys a quick call... uh... how's everybody?"

Horrible... sick... this is killing everyone. Ponyboy isn't talking to anyone, Two-bit hasn't cracked one joke all day, and I think I'm going to throw up. Again. "We're good, kid."

There was a bit of an uncomfortable pause. "Oh.... good."

"So, uh... how's the trip been so far?"

"All right. It's long... "

"Yeah, I'll bet it is."

"Is Ponyboy around, or did he end up going to the movies?"

"Nah, he didn't go. He's asleep. They're all asleep. I can't believe it, man. It's Friday..."

"Yeah, wow... well, can you tell everybody I said hi? I gotta run, man, the train's gettin' ready to go."

"Sure, kid. And hey- it was good to hear from you. You take care..."

"You too, Dal."

"Johnny?"

"Yeah?"

".......Everything's gonna be fine, kid." Dally said softly. He kept the fear and pain completely out of his voice, just like Darry had told him.

There was another pause and Dally was pretty sure he heard a faint sigh of relief on the other end of the line.

"Thanks, Dal."

Dally put the phone down and stared at his food. Then he covered it up, returned it to the fridge, and went to the livingroom to lie down on the couch.

_And I'll be on the other end_

_to hear you when you call._

_Angel you were born to fly,_

_and if you get too high, _

_I'll catch you when you fall._

_I'll catch you when you fall. _

Hours later, the morning sun broke through the clouds and streamed into Soda's room and across Dally's face. He opened his eyes and tried to process what he was feeling. Something bad had happened, but it the brief moments of haziness that occur between being asleep and awake, he couldn't quite remember what. Then it dawned on him and the painful ache intensified. He remembered the phone conversation.

He looked out the window and suddenly his eyes narrowed and his jaw set. I can do this, he thought, as he stared at the sunbeams coming through the glass. I'm going to help Johnny do this....

_Your memory's the sunshine _

_every new day brings, _

_I know the sky is calling,_

_Angel let me help you with your wings._

_When you're soaring through the air,_

_I'll be your solid ground._

_Take every chance you dare,_

_I'll still be there_

_When you come back down,_

_When you come back down._

To my reviewers:

The Bonnie Pirate Lass- you wouldn't happen to be a fellow PotC fan, would you? That movie was so great! Anyhow, thanks SO much for your kind (yet very sad!!) review! You really got my butt in gear. So you wrote "Higher"? I LOVED that! EVERY time I hear that song I remember your fanfic.

MissLKid- One of my most faithful reviewers!! Thank you so much! So glad to see you're still reading.

Bobby'sGirl51- So glad you're enjoying the story! Thank you for taking the time to review.

Tensleep- Thank you for that very falttering review! Makes me want to write more!! I hope you enjoyed the latest chapter.

Oblivious Misconception- Thank you for reviewing! I'm so glad you're enjoying the story... there's much more to come!

ModestVanity- My other most faithful reviewer! I'm so thrilled to see that I still have some original reviewers still following the story! Thank you.


	4. I'm Movin' On

_I don't own The Outsiders or "I'm Movin' On" by Rascal Flatts...._

................................................................................

_I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons_

_Finally content with a past I regret_

_I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness_

_For once I'm at peace with myself_

_I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long_

_I'm movin' on_

_I've lived in this place and I know all the faces_

_Each one is different but they're always the same_

_They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it_

_They'll never allow me to change_

_But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong_

_I'm movin' on_

_At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me_

_And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone_

_There comes a time in everyone's life_

_When all you can see are the years passing by_

_And I have made up my mind that those days are gone_

_I'm movin' on_

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"Johnny!" he heard someone call almost the minute he stepped off the train. "Johnny, over here!"

Matt was waving from behind a crowd of people, trying to politely push his way through. Johnny hadn't seen him in about six years, but he recognized him immediately. It was like looking in a mirror, only he'd never seen Matt's expression on his own face before.

Matt was happy and calm and seemingly ready to take on the world. He was taller than Johnny, older, more muscular, but aside from that, the two boys looked very similar, especially their eyes. Matt had big, gentle brown eyes and dark lashes. His eyes were not nearly as dark as Johnny's, but something about them looked the same.

When Matt finally reached him, he grabbed Johnny in a bear hug. "How have you been, kid?"

"Fine,"Johnny was surprised to hear how timid and soft his own voice sounded as compared to Matt's.

"C'mon, the car's around back. Mom's making a big dinner for you. Wow, it's great to see you!"

Matt rambled on and on about the farm, his parents, how everyone was so excited that Johnny was coming.

Johnny's stomach churned. A big dinner, a bunch of people... what was he doing? He wanted to go home. This was too much, too fast. He tried to steady his breathing and focus on what Matt was saying. He followed him out of the train station and into the street.

He stopped as Matt went over and unlocked the door of a little blue corvette convertible. Johnny's jaw dropped.

"Is that yours?" he asked, a little bit of the panic subsided as he stared at the car.

Matt laughed. "Naw, it's Uncle Will's. Well, his and my dad's. They were having a mid-life or something. 'Course Will's only in his early 30's, so I don't know if he can really call it that. Anyhow, they said I should 'pick you up in style!' My car is nothing like this."

Johnny put his bag on the floor and sat down in the car. He stared at the interior. Never in his life had he ever dreamed that he would ride in a car like this.

Matt started it up and looked over at Johnny. He paused for a minute. "What's wrong?"

"Huh? N-nothing. This is a tuff car..."

Matt grinned. "You wanna drive?"

Johnny stared at him. He shook his head. "No way."

"Oh, C'mon, Will won't mind! Go ahead. Do you have your license?"

Johnny reddened and looked at his shoes. "No."

"Ah... well, we'll have to change that! Then you can take this baby all over the place!"

"Really?"

"Sure! It's kind of the family car. Even Grandma has driven it around a few times!"

The family car was a convertible corvette. Johnny couldn't wait to write to Steve. But at the thought of one of the gang, his stomach turned again. He was completely out of his element here. He didn't even look right. His clothes weren't at all new, his hair, which was fine for back home, was very out of place here.

The whole way to the house, Johnny said very little. Matt remembered how quiet he was so he did the talking. He was good at putting people at ease....usually. He had a kind spirit and a genuine concern for any one who needed help. It had made him a wonderful veterinarian at a fairly young age.

But this situation was a little different. Johnny was really on edge and it would proably take some doing to calm him down. Matt noticed that he was hiding if fairly well, though. Years on the streets had taught Johnny how to wear a mask of indifference. He had learned to put up a facade of cool aloofness. But his eyes were an open book, which probably did him no good on the streets of Tulsa.

After a little while, Matt paused and cleared his throat as though he wanted to say something but didn't quite know how. "Now, Johnny, uh..."

Johnny didn't like the how the tone had changed.

"Grandma... she's been fighting me on this since the beginning of last week... She thinks you should stay at Mom and Dad's instead of with me..."

"Why?" Johnny asked nervously.

"Well, she wants you to go to school."

Johnny didn't say anything.

"And since I live too far for you to walk from my place...Look, you could still work with me at the office after school, and maybe when we get you a license, you could get a car and drive to school from my place.... I'm sorry Johnny, I should have told you, but I thought I could talk her out of it."

Matt looked over at Johnny nervously. "Hey, c'mon, kid. I'll keep at her. And you know what? If they just won't give in. I'll stay there for a few weeks till you feel at home. Believe me, it won't take long. Mom is SO excited that you're coming."

Johnny just stared out the window. The air was fresh and cool. They passed pasture after pasture of horses, split rail fences, corn and grain. Old brick houses and ancient oak trees that had witnessed the Civil War seemed to stare back at him, ready to tell him stories that he couldn't have imagined in his wildest dreams. He thought about Ponyboy and how much he would have loved to see this place. It was the kind of place he had always talked about... the country. Johnny's heart ached. He missed the gang. And he was scared.

He asked himself again, was it worth it? He had gone from a place he was afraid to another place he was afraid, only now he was alone.

The beautiful scenery could not ease his fears. What have I done... he asked himself for the millionth time. And what was he going to do when they all found out that he had lied? They all thought his parents had sent him. They had no idea that he had run away.

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Thank you to all the reviewers!

Miss L Kid- Thank you for reviewing... and yes, I think you've been reviewing my stories for over a year!!

YLJedi- Thank you for your kind review! A movie in people's heads? Cool!!

eclipsed- Thank you for reading! I'm glad to hear you were so moved by the story!

Oblivious Misconception- Thanks!! I was wondering about the song lyrics.... do you (or anyone else reading this) think I should just leave them out? I was having second thoughts about them. The reason I have been using them is that's pretty much how I wrote the story- almost every chapter has been inspired by a song, poem or quote. But, if anyone finds it distracting or not really relevant to the chapters, let me know!! I am open to constructive criticism. Thanks again for your very nice review!! Glad you're enjoying the story.

jazzyumbrella- So glad you like the story! thanks for the review!

BoboTheSemiDeadCat-There HAS to be a story behind that name... Thanks so much for taking the time to review. I'm really glad that you found the story so emotional!!


	5. The New Home

The house loomed in front of him- a two story red brick federal style building with a big front porch, white shutters and a wide gravel path lined with flowers. Trees dotted the landscape and a split rail fence surrounded a large pasture where a few horses nibbled on grass. Johnny felt like he'd walked into the other side of town back home. He didn't belong here. His heart was pounding. He wanted to just grab his tattered bag and start running down the road, back to the train station. Heck, he was ready to run all the way back to Tulsa!

He climbed out of the car, not really understanding how he managed to stand up with his legs being as shaky as they were. He stared down the dirt road from which they had come. I could make it, he thought.

But a voice obliterated the idea and nearly made him jump out of his skin. "Johnny!"

A woman had come out onto the porch and stood anxiously waving to him. She was middle aged, thin, and wore a blue gingham dress that fell just below her knees and a white apron. Her dark brown hair was chin length with soft curls. She looked like she had stepped out of a magazine ad from the 50's, Johnny noticed. And she wasn't wearing any shoes, but that didn't stop her from hurrying down the porch steps and over to Johnny, though she did avoid the gravel path.

She stopped when she reached him and was obviously restraining herself from hugging him. She could sense his nervousness. But she couldn't hide her excitement at seeing him.

Johnny wasn't sure what to do. The woman, who he assumed was his aunt Wendy, Matt's mother, seemed friendly enough, but he was so overwhelmed at the moment that all he could do was stare at his feet. She reminded him of Ponyboy's mom... and a little bit of himself, as once again, she had his eyes.

He gave her a weak smile, and when he did, her smile just got bigger and she finally just threw her arms around him and squeezed.

"Oh! You're still just as quiet as you were when you were just a little thing! Look at you!" She held him at arms length, her eyes shining. "You've just grown right up!"

Johnny was a bit embarrassed by this, but he finally met her gaze. When he did, he thought he saw what he could only describe as confusion in her expression... a look of puzzlement. Only for a second though. Then, whatever it was, it was gone as fast as it had appeared.

"I hope you're hungry!" she said energetically as she placed her hand on Johnny's arm and started to lead him towards the house. "I fixed up a nice big supper for you!" Then she stopped and looked at him, her expression becoming almost apologetic. "Oh, but don't feel like you have to eat right away, if you're tired and want to lie down first, you go right ahead. We're just so glad your parents let you come to stay with us!"

Johnny could hear her smile returning, but he was staring at the grass as he walked. She didn't notice. She was talking to Matt now.

"Hi, sweetie... how was the drive?"

"Just fine, Mom."

"You're staying for dinner, aren't you?"

"Of course! You think I'm going to leave Johnny all alone with you people?" Matt was only half joking.

Wendy reached behind Johnny's back and gave Matt a playful smack on the arm. Johnny just kept looking at the grass.

They went on talking as they all climbed the porch steps. Wendy opened the door and led Johnny inside.

"Would you like to pick out your room?" Wendy asked, smiling softly at Johnny.

Johnny was staring at the chandelier hanging high above his head in the foyer. He stopped and looked at Wendy._ Pick out_ my room? He just nodded and followed her up the stairs.

"See you in a bit, Johnny!" Matt called after him. "I'm going to go check out the kitchen!"

"You stay out of the mashed potatoes until dinner, Matthew!" Wendy yelled down.

At the top of the stairs, Johnny followed Wendy down a hallway lined with photographs. She stopped at the first room and stepped inside. It was a very large room with a big bed, walls covered with books and photo albums and a fireplace!

"OK, Johnny! You can stay in this room, or...." she led him a little further down the hall to a much smaller room. "this one. What do you think?"

Johnny surveyed the smaller room. A single bed stood next to a window that overlooked the gardens in the side yard. There was a small, simple table beside the window with a chair and a lamp. A dresser beneath a mirror stood on the wall opposite the window. It was just right. "I think I'll take this one," Johnny said softly.

Wendy looked almost disappointed. "Are.. are you sure?"

Johnny nodded, setting his bag down on the floor.

Wendy smiled again. "Very well, then. You make yourself at home. Dinner will be ready in about half an hour. In the meantime," and she looked at him very seriously then, "our home is your home, Johnny. You can go anywhere you like.... I think you'll find a lot to interest you here."

And with that, she headed off to the kitchen, leaving Johnny to unpack and settle in.

Johnny closed the door behind her. He sat down on the bed and opened up his bag. He took out the picture that Dally had given him and held it in his lap for a moment.

A small drop of water fell on the glass frame, and then another. Johnny wiped his eyes and set the photo on the small table by the window.

"I'm sorry," he said to the picture. "I really miss you guys."

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MissLKid- Thank you once again for taking the time to review! It is always much appreciated.

BoboTheSemiDeadCat- I try my best to respond to all the reviewers, but sometimes all I have time to do is post the chapters. But I really want everyone to know how much I enjoy reading their thoughts on the story.

Oblivious Misconception- I'm glad the song lyrics have worked ok in the story so far... There are a few more to come! Thank you so much for your reviews.

ModestVanity- Thanks for reading! I will try to keep the updates coming!

kimmerkay- Thanks so much for reviewing EACH chapter! That was nice of you. Glad you're back!!

a458sbcglobal- Thank you for reviewing! So happy you're enjoying the story!


	6. What Wendy Remembers

It was around 10:00 when Johnny heard the knock at his door. He sat bolt up-right, his heart in his throat. For a moment, he was home- the knocks were more like pounding, and the person behind the door was his father.

After a second or two, he realized the knocks were actually very soft. He also realized he was not at home, which made him feel safe and terrified and lonely all at the same time. I must've fallen asleep, he thought.

"Come in," he said softly.

Wendy peeked around the door. "Hi!" She came in and stood beside his bed. She was holding a cornbread muffin that she handed to him. "I brought you something! You were asleep when Matthew came to get you for dinner and we didn't want to bother you."

"I'm sorry," Johnny said, taking the muffin and avoiding her gaze.

"Oh! No, don't be sorry!" Wendy sat down beside him and touched his shoulder. She noticed that whenever she got too close to him he seemed to shrink back or flinch a bit. She had to keep reminding herself to be more careful with him. He'd been through so much and she kept forgetting that she couldn't just run up and show him affection like she could with her son.

But Wendy truly cared for her nephew. Even though he barely knew her, she remembered him. She'd wanted to kidnap him so many years ago when she and her husband Tom went to Tulsa for a summer to meet Johnny. They had gone hoping to repair the rift in the family.

Before Johnny was born there had been a terrible falling out between her brother Will and her half brother, Robert who was Johnny's father. She didn't know what it was about- she'd never known what it was about and Will wouldn't talk about it. The two boys had never gotten along. Wendy wondered if it had to do with the huge gap in their ages, but then Robert had always been such a bully it probably wouldn't have mattered how old Will had been. Whatever the problem was, it was bad enough that Robert had taken his wife Maria and left Virginia.

It was nearly three years before anyone heard from them again. When they did, it was Maria who had called Wendy. She told Wendy that they were living in Tulsa and that she and Robert had a son. His name was Johnny. Wendy was thrilled about the child and delighted to finally know where Robert and Maria had gone. She had always gotten along with Maria, though she didn't really trust her. And she didn't know what the woman saw in Robert. Wendy knew he treated her horribly.

Wendy asked if she, Tom and Matthew could come for a visit, but Maria adamantly turned her down.

"He doesn't know you called, does he?" Wendy asked referring to Robert.

There was a long pause. "No."

Wendy's heart sank. She had sensed a kind of fear in Maria's voice and now she knew why. It was with great disappointment that Wendy finally hung up the phone at the end of their conversation. She had hoped when she first heard the news about Johnny that the bad times would be put behind them and everything would be all right. It didn't take her long to realize the naivety of that idea.

Over the next few years, Maria called sporadically. She even sent a photo of Johnny. When Wendy finally got an address and phone number out of her, she called Maria more often. Wendy always asked how Johnny was, how everyone was, and Maria would always tell her things were fine. Still, Wendy always picked up the fear in the woman's voice. Over the years, the fear turned to anger and then to resentment, and finally to apathy. None of the feelings were directed at Wendy, she could just pick them up in the general tone of Maria's voice.

Wendy grew more and more concerned about Johnny and more insistent about visiting. Robert was no longer ignorant of the fact that the two women were in contact with eachother, so Maria couldn't use that as an excuse any more. And finally, one day, to Wendys relief and surprise, Maria agreed to the visit.

Johnny had been almost two the first time Maria had called. Now he was nearly five. When they arrived at the Cade residence in Tulsa, Wendy was horrified to see the contitions the poor child was living in and Maria seemed embarrassed. Robert was hardly ever around and didn't seem to care. But Johnny was a sweet child and though he was very shy and didn't say much, he seemed to enjoy playing with Matthew.

Wendy knew when she looked in Johnny's eyes that he was being mistreated, though at the time, she couldn't fathom to what extent. She drove into town every day from the place they had rented so that she could help Maria out around the house. It seemed all too soon when they had to return to Virginia to get Matthew ready for school.

They tried to visit every summer, and every summer things got worse. The visits were miserable for her and Tom, but they stuck it out for Johnny, determining each time that they would somehow get Johnny out of there.

The last time they came for a visit, Johnny was 9 going on 10 and evidence of child abuse was blatant. He didn't make much eye contact with anyone, except for Matthew. He didn't like anyone to see the bruises on his face. Maria made up ridiculous excuses about how clumsy Johnny was and how often he would fall and hurt himself, even though Wendy didn't see him fall once the entire time they were there.

Aside from trying to justify the bruises that covered her son's body, Maria seemed completely oblivious to the fact that she even had a child. Often, she would forget to feed him. She rarely ate regular meals herself. She just snacked throughout the day and smoked the rest of the time.

Wendy could see that the woman was being abused and neglected herself by Robert. She might have actually been a decent mother if it had not been for her husband. But that was too far out of Wendy's control at that point. Now the only one she might be able to help was Johnny. She tried her best to help with meals and keep Johnny fed. She noticed he spent a lot of time at the Curtis house. They seemed like nice people, so she was very grateful for them. She was a little concerned about some of the other boys he hung around, but when she finally met some of them, she decided maybe they were ok. She was, however, very upset about the fact that Johnny had taken up smoking. That summer, as in most of their more recent visits, Robert would stumble in after work, get something to eat and head off to the bar. He was never friendly to Wendy or Tom and he would yell at Johnny if he was around. He never hit him in front of Wendy, but she knew he did. She remembered stopping by Johnny's house one evening and seeing Johnny bruised and beaten in the front yard, a small tow-headed boy standing over him and screaming obscenities at the top of his lungs at Johnny's father as he drove off in his truck. The boy had helped Johnny up and they'd run off to the Curtis' before Wendy could stop them.

Tom later confronted Robert about the incident and Robert flew into a rage at him, screaming and ranting about how Johnny belonged to him and it wasn't anyone's business how he chose to discipline his own son. Robert had forbidden them to set foot in the house after that. But that had not been the worst of it. Robert had left them with one final threat before he slammed the door...

"If anybody from social services comes poking their noses around here, I'll kill that kid. You got it? He ain't worth that kind of trouble. And don't think I won't do it."

Wendy had sobbed all night. But she truly felt that Robert might actually carry out his threat. It was when she called her mother that she was sure of it.

"Mom," she had choked into the phone. "He- he actually said he would kill his own child! How could he?"

"Wendy, listen to me, " her mother's voice had been eerily serious. "You and Tom get Matthew out of there and come home. There's nothing you can do. It's going to do that poor boy more harm than good if you stay now."

But she never forgot Johnny. None of them had. Not Tom, not Matthew, not even Wendy's mother, even though she had never actually met Johnny. She'd seen the photo that Maria had sent and since that day she had always encouraged Wendy to go on the visits to Tulsa. She couldn't go herself, as Robert no longer wished to see her. Wendy didn't understand that anymore than she understood the bad blood between Robert and Will, but no one seemed to want to explain anything.

Wendy knew that Matthew had been writing to Johnny for a long time. She hoped beyond all hope that one day, Robert and Maria would let Johnny come to Virginia. And now here he was, sitting beside her, safe and sound, but still a very frightened boy. Oh, sure... he came right off the city streets and could probably hold his own. Someone, who didn't know him might see a dangerous hoodlum, but not Wendy. She saw the frightened boy. She hated to think about the damage that had already been done, but she knew she would try her best to repair as much of it as she could. She didn't know how she would start, or even why she felt so strongly about it, but one look in those huge frightened black eyes, and she was committed to making sure that Johnny would never live in fear or poverty again.


	7. Trying to Trust

Wendy watched as Johnny cautiously took a bite of the cornbread muffin. He looked hesitant to eat in front of her, but he also looked like he was pretty hungry.

Keeping her distance, she tried to interact with him again. "Matthew is sleeping in the room right across the hall if you need anything. Tom and I are in the room right next to him, and Grandma is in the guest room at the end of the hall."

Johnny remained silent.

"You can meet Grandma and your Uncle Will tomorrow..." She noticed the picture on the table. "May I see this?" she asked pointing at it.

Johnny looked somewhat embarrassed and nodded.

Wendy picked it up and studied it. "Ah... these are your friends, the ones from Tulsa!"

Johnny looked up.

A little connection... there's a start. Wendy looked hard at the picture. She wrinkled her brow. "Hmm... well, there's you! That one I know!" she laughed a little and glanced at Johnny. She had his attention.

"And... hmm... this one," she pointed to the smallest boy in the picture. "This one had a very unusual name...."

Johnny nodded and smiled just a little.

Wendy's heart soared. She hoped she could remember the boy's name. "Something to do with horses...Ponyboy! That's it, isn't it?"

"Yep, that's Ponyboy!" Johnny brightened just a little.

Wendy's smile broadened. " He's your closest friend... I remember him the most. Now... his brother had an interesting name too... Cola? Pepsi?"

Johnny actually laughed, just a little. "Sodapop," Johnny corrected. Wendy felt she was making real progress with him.

"How could I have forgotten that? And this one... he's the oldest brother, right?"

"Uh huh. That's Darry."

"Darry. That's right. They have wonderful parents. How are they doing?"

Johnny went white. Wendy's heart sank as she realized that she'd somehow said something wrong.

"They... They're dead."

Wendy drew in a sharp breath.

"They were killed in a car wreck a while ago."

"Oh, Johnny...I'm so sorry. I... I had no idea." Wendy's mind raced with tragic thoughts. How had the Curtis brothers survived such a tragedy? What did Johnny do after they were gone? "The brothers... are they..."

Johnny shrugged. "They're still together. Darry got left in charge and as long as they stay out of trouble, they get to stay together."

Wendy nodded. Johnny seemed sad, but not upset with her for bringing it up. He also seemed like he would rather not talk about it. She thought for a minute. "We'll have to put those boys on a train sometime and bring them up here for a visit. They could probably use a vacation. Would you like that?"

Johnny looked at her in surprise, his eyes widening. "Really?"

"Of course! Your friends are welcome here anytime." Wendy said. She decided to try to talk with him a little more about the picture. "Now this one- this one I do remember. Two-Bit. Oh, he was a character. He made me laugh!"

Johnny grinned a little.

"But these two I don't remember," she said.

"Well, that's Steve," Johnny said pointing him out in the photo. "He's Soda's best friend. And that's Dally-uh, Dallas. He's..." Johnny hesitated a bit. "He can be tough, but he's cool once you get to know him. He gave me this picture."

"Oh! That was sweet of him!" Wendy said, smiling.

Johnny looked at her a little funny.

Wendy figured no one had ever referred to Dallas as "sweet" before. He was the boy she'd seen standing over Johnny the day that Robert had beaten him. Wendy studied the photo. Dally looked like the most dangerous of all. But when she looked hard enough, she could see through him too, just like she could see past Johnny's cool facade. Wendy was perceptive that way. Although, Johnny was much easier to read than Dallas.

"Well, Johnny, you're probably very hungry and..." she softened her voice, "you probably miss your friends very much."

Johnny just looked down at the bed he was sitting on.

"Would you like to talk to them?"

Johnny's head shot up. "Wha- you mean... right now?"

"Well of course!" She gave him a playful scolding look and added, "Just because we live out in the country doesn't mean we don't have a phone!"

"But.. it's long distance..."

Wendy just shook her head and smiled at him. "C'mon sweetie. Let's go get you something to eat and show you were the phone is."

Johnny followed her out of the room in awe. She was so kind to him, so motherly. He had never been treated this way before. Except by Ponyboy's mom. Wendy reminded him an awful lot of Ponyboy's mom... His heart ached when he remembered the Curtis' parents.

He followed Wendy out of the room and down the stairs.

Wendy pulled a plate of food out of the refridgerator and set it on the table. "Help yourself to anything you'd like. There's the phone, right over there. Everyone's gone off to bed, so no one will bother you."

She untied her apron and hung it over a chair. "I'll see you in the morning. " She stepped towards Johnny out of reflex. She always gave Matthew a good night kiss on the forhead or cheek, but she caught herself. "Good night," she smiled and headed off towards the stairs.

But then she stopped, remembering something. "Oh, Johnny? You should call your parents, too. Just to let them know you made it here."

Johnny froze. He had to physically remind himself to breathe. "Uh...ok. No one called them yet?"

"No," Wendy smiled and gave a weak laugh. No one dared, she thought. She wasn't sure how much Johnny knew about the animosity between the families, so she just replied, "too much excitement!" and went off to bed.

Johnny watched her go and he sat down slowly and waited for his heart to stop pounding. How long would he be able to keep this up? And what did it matter anyway? They would probably let him stay even if he told them he had run away from home. Wouldn't they?


	8. Paint the Sky a Deeper Shade of Blue

I don't own _The Outsiders_ or_ My World is Over _by Kenny Rogers

_I didn't look over my shoulder._

_I wasn't ready for this._

_I didn't see the size of the horizon._

_I was so sure that you would never leave,_

_But you did._

_So sweep away the sand and dry the ocean._

_And just pack the moon and stars up in a cardboard box._

_Stop the clocks from chiming._

_Block the sun from shining,_

_And paint the sky a deeper shade of blue._

_Cause my world's over without you._

Dally walked slowly down the street, watching the clouds moving across the sky. He had gone to a party at Buck's the night before and caught up on some much needed sleep afterwards. The party had been more of the same- lots of drinking, one night stands, loud music, and fights He figured he must've been pretty tired, he really hadn't enjoyed himself that much. He usually participated in all of the "activities" that Buck's parties had to offer, but last night he'd sneaked up to his room around midnight and fell asleep.

Dally sighed. He didn't really know where he was going, but he'd had enough of Buck's place for a while. For whatever reason, nothing about Buck's place was appealing to him at the moment. In fact, nothing about Tulsa was appealing to him. For the past few days he'd wandered around aimlessly, not finding much of anything to do. He didn't feel like hunting up trouble like he usually did. He just felt...empty.

He had been to the Dingo a few times, back and forth to Buck's, and he'd walked by Tim Shephard's place once but didn't stop. He didn't feel like talking to anyone. He hadn't been to the Curtis place at all since the day Johnny left. He knew they were probably all starting to wonder where he was, even though it had only been a few days. He knew if he waited much longer to make his appearance, he'd get the stupid questions the minute he walked in the door: "Where ya been, Dal?" "What's wrong with you, Dal?" "Were you in jail again?" etc.. So, with a sigh, he turned down the street towards their house. He didn't have anything better to do to occupy his time.

As he got closer to the house, he spotted Ponyboy sitting alone in the lot. He felt a twinge of saddness for the kid. He'd been so miserable since Johnny left. Everyone had, but Ponyboy was taking it especially hard.

Dally walked over to him and sat down. Ponyboy just stared at the ground.

Dally took a long drag on his cigarette and looked at the sky. "So what's new, kid?" he asked calmly, not really expecting much of an answer.

Pony paused for a moment and then looked at Dally. "Not much," he shrugged.

Dally nodded.

There was a long silence. They both just sat there looking at the clouds.

"Ain't it about dinner time at your house?" Dally asked. He was getting a bit hungry.

"Yeah," Ponyboy scowled at the mention of dinner. "I ain't eatin"

"Huh?"

"Darry sent me to my room without dinner," Ponyboy said angrily. He started pushing dirt around with a stick. "I got a D on my math test 'cause I didn't study. I swear, he just can't stand me. He'd sent me straight to a boys home, if not for Soda-"

"Hey, kid! Don't talk like that." Dally scolded him. Then he softened his tone a bit. "Darry's tough on you because he wants you to be able to get out of this dump. You know that."

Ponyboy didn't respond. He just kept staring at the ground with the scowl on his face.

Dally stomach turned a bit. A memory flashed in his mind of Johnny and how Dally would find him out in the lot every so often just sitting by himself, not doing anything in particular but being away from his house. He of course never looked angry, like Ponyboy did right now, but Dally knew Pony well enough to see the hurt behind his eyes. He felt a sudden surge of protectiveness for the younger boy. This surprised him. "Why didn't you study?"

Pony swallowed. His voice was quiet when he answered and there was a catch in his throat. "I don't know. I couldn't concentrate. I ended up writing a letter to Johnny. Then he called and I talked with him a while... And then the next night I called him and talked to him for about an hour. Darry's pissed about that too. He just got the phone bill."

Dally sat up a bit. "You talked to Johnny? How's he doin'?"

Ponyboy shrugged and poked at the dirt again. "Ok, I guess. He's stayin' in a real nice place and I guess everybody's nice to him....His grandmother's kind of funny..I don't know. He just sounds kind of sad."

"Funny? Funny like Two-bit?"

"Huh?"

"The grandmother... you said she was funny."

"Oh. No, I think funny like... weird. She's makin' him start school out there and I don't know. He says she just... looks at him funny all the time. She's just weird."

Dally chewed at his lower lip. He wasn't sure he liked that. But he wasn't really getting enough information. He started to take in the rest of what Ponyboy had said. Johnny was sad. He certainly didn't like that.

But it's only been a few days, he thought. He just needs some time to adjust.

That didn't make him feel any better. He wished that he had gotten to talk to Johnny. He berated himself for not showing up at the Curtis' more after Johnny left. He should have thought that Johnny would call.

Dally stood up suddenly.

"Look, I'm gonna go get some food. I'd drag you along, but your brother would kick my head in- I'm assuming you climbed out your window and he doesn't know you're out here?"

Pony nodded.

Dally smirked. "That's what I thought. All right. Go on back inside," Dally stood and took a final drag on his cigarette before crushing it out in the ground. "I'll come around to your window in about half an hour. I'll bring you a burger."

Ponyboy brightened a little and looked at Dally, surprised. "Thanks, Dal!"

As Pony stood Dally got closer and pointed his finger at him, somewhat threateningly. "You better get some work done tonight. And if you let on to Superman that I'm doin' this for you, I will beat the tar outta you, you got me?"

Pony nodded and ran off towards the back of the house.

Dally watched him go. He shook his head and headed off towards The Dingo to find something to eat. He was suddenly not as hungry as he was before. He needed to talk to Johnny.

......................................................................................

OK, I will be going away for a week after this...please don't forget about me!! Thanks so much for all the reviews. They really keep me going.

Kagome009- Don't worry, there will be lots more about the gang... I promise!!

grease girl- Thanks for the review... More about Dally soon. Keep reading!

a458sbcglobal- Thanks so much for reviewing! I appreciate it.

YLJedi- Thanks for the review! I'm so glad you like the story... Keep going with On the Run- it's great!

lily- What a nice review! I'm flattered and very glad that you're enjoying the story!

_Oblivious Misconception- Thanks! I was worried that the last two chapters might be a little slow (I really have to develop some background info for the continuation of the story), so your review was very encouraging!!_

Bobo- Don't worry, I fully intend to finish this story. But, it's really long, so hope you stay with me!!

Jessie- Thanks so much for taking the time to review!! It means a lot.

MissLKid- Thanks!! Always great to hear from you!


	9. Talking to Johnny

True to his word, Dally showed up in about a half hour with a cheese burger and a half melted (and half emptied) milk shake. He gave a soft tap on Pony's window.

Ponyboy opened the window and reached out eagerly for the food.

Dally drew back just out of his reach. "You studyin'?"

"Yeah, I'm studyin'! Told you I would! C'mon, Dal, I'm starved!"

Dally handed him the food.

"Thanks," Ponyboy said with a small grin.

Dally stood there for a moment. He ran his hand through his hair and looked casually back at the trees in the back yard. "So, uh... you think Johnny might call tonight?"

Ponyboy nodded, his mouth full of food. "Yeah, I think he probably will. He said he would."

"Well, maybe I'll stick around then and talk to the kid...see how he's doing."

"Yeah, stick around! Make sure Darry lets me talk to him. He probably won't even let me outta my room."

"He'll let you talk to him. He'll let you because it's Johnny, man. You know he will."

Ponyboy looked doubtful and took another bite of the cheeseburger.

Dally lit up a cigarette and started walking around to the front of the house. "You get on back to work now, kid."

"All right, Dal." Pony said and closed up his window.

Dally walked up the front steps of the porch and sauntered into the livingroom, taking a seat on the sofa near Soda who was glued to the TV set. Two-Bit was seated on the floor with a beer.

"Hey, Dal." Soda greeted him quietly without looking away.

Two-Bit glanced up and nodded.

Whoa, everybody's so bright and cheery, Dally thought sarcastically.

"Dally," Darry called from the kitchen. "Come in here a minute, I want to talk to you."

Dally swore to himself. How did Darry catch him bringing Ponyboy food? He slouched a little as he walked, trying to look bored. He really just felt uncomfortable. He wasn't so concerned about Darry's reaction to the fact that he had sneaked Ponyboy some food, but the fact that he had been caught doing something... out of character.

"What's going on, Dar?" Dally took a long drag on his cigarette.

Darry glared at him.

Great, Dally thought. He's madder than I thought. But then an idea struck him and he immediately put his cigarette out in the sink.

Darry's expression softened and he went back to drying dishes

Whew. That's what he was mad at, Dally thought as he remembered that Darry was not fond of cigarettes in the house.

"What did you want to talk to me about?"

Darry glanced into the livingroom to make sure Soda was still watching TV. "I want to talk to you about Ponyboy. He's.... he's taking this whole thing really hard, you know, Johnny being gone. He's not using his head and I'm getting worried about him walking home from school by himself."

"I thought Two-Bit drove him home."

"Not all the time, he has track and sometimes he stays after. I've been pushing him to get extra help with math... Look, I know you got other stuff to do, but do you think you could kind of keep an eye on him once in a while when he walks home late?"

"I ain't no babysitter, man," Dally scowled, leaning against the counter.

"I know, Dally. I don't mean forever, just sometimes... just till he snaps out of this mood, the other guys are keeping an eye on him to, but with Soda and me working all the time...." Darry ran his hand through his hair, his brow wrinkled in frustration. "I just don't know what to do with him. He doesn't think! It takes him forever to walk home because he just starts wandering! A couple days ago Steve found him sitting outside the Dingo way past the time he was supposed to be home. And the socs cornered him the day before, but Two-Bit showed up just in time. He's not concentrating on his work.... I just don't know what to do with him!"

"Darry, look man, he's just messed up about... Johnny," Dally couldn't believe he was having to rationalize a situation to Darry that he himself had not even yet begun to accept. "You gotta lay off him a little."

Darry sat down and put his head in his hands. He let out a weak laugh as Dally sat down across from him at the table. Darry looked sheepishly at Dally. "That kid..." he shook his head. "Johnny, I mean. Look at us!! We're all falling apart."

Dally didn't respond. He swallowed nervously and started at his feet. He hated to hear it, but he had been thinking that's what would happen. They were all falling apart. He had felt it as he walked in the door. He had known it when he saw Pony's eyes. Not a joke from Two-bit, barely a hello from Soda. And now even Darry was faltering.

"I'll help keep an eye on him." Dally said finally.

Darry looked up. "Huh?"

"Ponyboy. You asked me to look out for him, I'll look out for him. Just till he... starts using his head again."

Darry let out a sigh. "That would really help me out."

Dally stood and headed for the door. He had to get out.

But then the phone rang and it was like a bomb had gone off. Ponyboy came flying out of his room, the door making a loud bang as it hit the wall. Two-Bit and Soda came running into the kitchen, tripping over eachother, pushing past Dally, and all three of them lunged for the phone at the same time. They were intercepted by Darry who got there first. Two-Bit had fallen flat on his face, Soda was pulling at Darry's arm and Ponyboy was jumping up and down, reaching for the phone.

"Hello?" Darry said and then a grin spread across his face. "Hang on." The grin disappeared as he placed the phone to his chest and glared daggers at the three boys swarming around him. He pointed towards the living room and annunciated each word very carefully. "GO WAIT YOUR TURNS!"

Pony, Two-Bit and Soda stalked off to the livingroom and Dally watched as they all flopped onto the couch and moped.

Darry put he phone back to his ear, smiling again. "We got a lot of people here who are anxious to talk to you, Johnnycake. How long can you be on the phone?...Really? You sure?"

Dally stood off to the side of the kitchen, his stomach knotting as Darry talked. He wanted to rip the phone out of his hand. Fortunately, he had a lot more control than the 3 Stooges in the livingroom.

"Listen, I'm going to hand you over to the first in line, ok? Great talking to you kid." And with that, he handed the phone to Dally and went to join the boys in the living room.

Dally put the phone to his ear. "Johnny? How ya been, kid?"

"Hey, Dal! I'm all right. I really miss you guys..."

Dally could hear the masked sadness in his voice, just like Ponyboy had said. He felt something heavy in his chest at the sound of the small voice so far away.

Dally was able to talk with Johnny for only about ten minutes before Darry could no longer hold back the other boys. Steve had shown up by this time and they all kept coming into the kitchen and standing around, waiting. Eventually, one would start whining. Then someone tried to _take_ the phone.

Dally put the phone down for a second, "Back off!" he growled angrily. But it had no effect. He wasn't used to people just ignoring his orders. Either he had lost his touch or the boys just really wanted to talk to Johnny.

Finally, he couldn't take any more of the whining. "All right, look, kid, I'll talk to you again soon, ok? I gotta go 'cause if I stay here much longer I'm gonna have to KICK SOMEONE'S HEAD IN!!" Dally yelled the last part away from the receiver and glared at the rest of the gang.

He said his goodbyes to Johnny and shoved the phone at Ponyboy. He smacked Soda across the head and slugged Two-Bit in the arm on his way out of the kitchen.

There was some swearing and yelling, but none of them dared retaliate. Besides, they were too busy trying to get the phone away from Ponyboy.

Dally stalked off to the porch. He leaned on the railing and lit another cigarette.

Darry suddenly appeared beside him, almost making him jump.

Dally said nothing, but he could feel Darry's eyes on him. He wanted to run off the porch, go back to Buck's, anywhere, but something inside him made him stay.

After what seemed like an eternity, Darry spoke. "He's all right, Dally."

Dally shook his head. "No... no, man, I don't think he is." Dally started pacing. "His voice- I can hear it in his voice... you know how he gets. What if he does something..." Dally's voice trailed off, unable to finish the thought.

But Darry knew what he was thinking. Johnny had been suicidal on more than one occasion. "This is different, Dally. He's just homesick. He'll adjust-"

Dally turned towards him, his eyes blazing. "You don't know that! You can't tell what he's thinking! And if he's not ok, we could never get there in time!" Dally whirled around and stormed off the porch, an idea brewing in his mind, a fear welling in his chest. A thought he couldn't ignore was now driving his steps.


	10. Dally's Plan

Nearly a month had passed since the day Johnny left. Dally had come so close to hopping on a train that night he had spoken to him on the phone. Had he not made a promise to Darry to keep an eye on Ponyboy, he would have.

Ever since he had taken on the role of Ponyboy's "temporary guardian", he felt tied to the kid somehow. Like he had a responsibility. He couldn't explain it, but he felt a need to protect him- his best friend had left and his brothers were working so much that he hardly ever saw them. All he did was study and every time he turned his back or tried to do something fun, the socs would go after him. Dally had done his best to look out for him and he was really good at getting after Pony when he wasn't getting his work done. Ponyboy would listen to him. Everybody listened to Dallas Winston.

And after a while, Ponyboy made a visible improvement in terms of "using his head". He was more focused on his work and he came right home after school, just like Darry had wanted.

Dally had even talked Two-Bit into going to watch Ponyboy run in a track meet one evening when Darry and Soda had both been working. Since that day, Pony had really perked up. Granted, Dally and Two-Bit had spent more time under the bleachers with a couple of greasy girls they had picked up, but the fact that they had been there at all had meant a lot to Ponyboy.

But all along, Dally continued to worried about Johnny. Johnny would call, that scared and lonely tone hidden in his voice so that only Ponyboy and Dally noticed, and Dally would be ready to jump on the train again. He just couldn't fight off the nagging feeling that _something_ wasn't right. Something strange was going on or something bad was going to happen, or maybe both.

He had nightmares every night. He hardly slept. They got worse and worse. They were never exactly the same, but the dreams all had a connection. His world and his friends were falling apart.

One night he decided he was just going to stay awake. That lasted all of half an hour. He eventually fell into a long, restless uneasy sleep, tormented with dreams of pain and death. He saw Johnny's sad eyes..."I can't take much more of this..." And in his dream, Ponyboy was dying and the gang was falling apart, and Johnny.... Johnny was gone. Over and over again, Dally would grab hold of his arm and he would just be swept away- sometimes in a plume of fire or smoke and sometimes he would just fall into a black pit. Like all the dreams before, he would hear the words "Johnny's dead..." and something in him would die. His whole world was crumbling...burning... smoke.... ashes.... flames.... BANG!

"Johnny!" he sat up in bed, gasping for air. He was always jolted awake at the end of the dream. This time it was thunder.

He blinked in surprise. It was light outside. He had slept through part of the day. He was drenched in sweat and shaking. He clenched his eyes shut, trying to let go of the intense despair that always followed and erase the remnants of the dream from his mind.

The rain poured down outside and he watched it.

It wasn't real, he kept repeating to himself. None of that happened.

But he couldn't ignore that some of the dream was, in an abstract sense, actually happening all around him.

It didn't matter anymore. He needed to find Ponyboy. He would borrow the T-Bird from Buck and pick him up at school. He would need a ride in this weather anyway.

He had come to a decision. He had done what he'd promised. Now he had someone else who needed him. He had to go to Virginia.

Ponyboy noticed the car immediately as he left the building. He brightened visibly upon seeing Dally.

Dally groaned inwardly. When had he become a big brother to another lost soul? He shook his head as Pony approached, somewhat disgusted with himself for having turned a bit soft.

Ponyboy opened the passenger door and climbed in the car.

"Hey Dal,"

Dally nodded and lit up a cigarette.

"Hey, you wanna go down to the Dingo before we go home?" He barely paused before continuing. "Our track team is doin' pretty well, I think we might win the championship meet. We might even make it to the State Finals."

Dally kept his eyes on the road and took a drag on his cigarette. He felt a responsibility to Ponyboy, but he could be very clingy. It sometimes drove Dally nuts and he would find himself snapping at the kid without really meaning to. He knew Ponyboy was just really lonely. Dally was so used to Johnny, who, as needy as he was, hardly said a word and just followed beside him, no more obvious than his own shadow.

"But I don't think Darry or Soda will get to watch it if we do," Pony was still going on, obviously testing the waters to see if he could convince Dally to come to another track meet. "They've been working way too much lately. They haven't been around much."

"I think Soda's going to go to your next meet." Dally interjected. He had noticed that Soda had been somewhat edgy, almost angry around him. This had started after Dally had gone to the track meet that Soda couldn't make it to. Pony had gone on and on about Dally and Two-bit being there and what a good time they had. Dally hadn't really had much fun (at least not when he'd actually been watching the meet), but in Pony's mind, they were becoming good buddies. Soda and Pony were so close, and now Pony was starting to act like _Dally_ was his brother. And this was bothering Soda something fierce.

That had done it for Dally. That was when his decision to go to Virginia had really taken root. He wasn't going to leave for good, or anything. He was definitely going to come back. He had to. He couldn't leave the gang, not now, not after they had just lost Johnny. As strange as it seemed, the gang needed him and he knew it. They were a family. They each had roles and places within the family, but he was falling into a role that didn't belong to him. Ponyboy was Soda's little brother, not his. Leaving for a little while would be good.

Ponyboy looked at Dally for a minute.

Dally avoided his gaze, not really sure he liked where this conversation was headed.

"Well, even if Soda comes, you wanna come watch the meet too?"

Dally cringed inwardly. Just tell him, he thought to himself. "Look, kid, I would but..."

Ponyboy didn't outwardly show it, but Dally could tell he was really disappointed.

"Listen, I need you to keep a secret for me."

Ponyboy looked up curiously. "Sure, Dal. What?"

Dally paused. "I'm going to see Johnny."

"What?! When? How are you-"

"Shh! Don't tell anyone-" he didn't know why he wanted Ponyboy to stay quiet while they were in the car. Who would hear them? He didn't want anyone knowing he was going until he arrived in Virginia. He didn't want Johnny expecting him in case he decided to turn around and come home. He just wanted to go and he would decide what to do when he got there.

"Are you coming back?" Ponyboy looked at him desperately.

"Yeah! Yeah, I'm coning back!" Dally said annoyed. "I just have to check on him, you know? He doesn't sound like he's doing so good. I'm gonna drag his ass back here if they're not treating him right out there."

"You're gonna bring him back?"

"I don't know. Look, DON'T tell anyone! At least not till I'm gone a few days." Dally was starting to wonder if he should have even opened his mouth, but he figured it would be mean to let the gang worry about him and Johnny too. He pulled into the Curtis driveway and stopped the car, but he didn't shut it off. He turned and looked Ponyboy square in the eye. "You have to promise me something."

"What?"

"While I'm gone, you gotta look out for yourself somehow. I don't want to be hearing about how you got your head kicked in by some socs because you walked too close to the wrong side of town, or that you're failing classes because you're not studying."

Ponyboy made a face.

"Look, I'm serious, man." Dally was using his I-mean-business voice. A voice no one dared ignore. "You gotta shape up and start using your head! I'll come back in time for the meet, but you gotta make sure that you keep your head out of the clouds while I'm gone. Deal?"

"Ok"

"Oh, and another thing," Dally couldn't believe he was about to say this, but he really felt it needed to be said, he wasn't sure why. "Hang out with Soda once in a while. He needs you."


	11. On the Train

Dally stared out the open door of the box car at the passing scenery. He'd hopped the first train out of town that night and hadn't told anyone but Ponyboy.

But he didn't tell Ponyboy why. Sure, he missed Johnny, just like everybody else did, but that wasn't why he was going.

He had heard Johnny talk of suicide before and it had always bothered him, but at least he was able to tell how serious he was about it and he could do something about it if the need arose. Johnny didn't communicate with words. Dally had always been able to read his face, he could see what was going on in his head. He was fairly confident that Johnny would never actually attempt anything as horribly drastic as suicide, but there were times when that confidence had waivered. And when it did, it was like the whole gang sensed it. They wouldn't let Johnny out of their sights for weeks until he seemed "back to normal".

On top of being able to read his expression, Dally for the most part always knew where Johnny was. He knew when Johnny went to school, he knew when he was sleeping in the lot and he knew when he was over at the Curtis'. He could keep an eye on him if things got to be too much.

But now he couldn't do that. Now he heard the sad, lonely voice over the phone and he knew nothing. He didn't know what Johnny was thinking, he didn't know how this new family was treating him, he knew nothing but what little Johnny would tell him. And there was no one there to stop him if.... Dally forced the thought from his head.

The train rumbled through town after town, all the while the sky turned from blue to gold and the buildings became fewer and farther between as the train left the city. The sparse groups of trees grew thicker, and the vacant lots became open fields of corn and hay, and the sky seemed to extend forever.

So this is the 'country' that Ponyboy talks about so often, Dally thought with some amusement. He wasn't quite sure what the thrill was.

But something made him sit up a little straighter and start really looking at the quickly moving surroundings. In the distance, Dally could see they were approaching a hill, unusual for the typically flat Oklahoma landscape, and something about it had jogged his memory... this was the place his cousin had told him about a few months ago. This was the town of Windrixville. The hill was Jay Mountain. Dally had never been there, but now he knew what he was looking for. He leaned slightly out of the boxcar, squinting his eyes to see if he could see it.

And there it was. Off in the distance rising just above the tree line on the hill Dally could see the silhouette of a church steeple. The setting sun glinted off what he figured must be a metal cross on the top of the spire. The church was abandoned. His cousin had mentioned that it would be a perfect hideout if anyone were ever in enough trouble to need it. Dally hadn't given the place a second thought since that day. He'd been in trouble with the law before and he wasn't afraid of spending a few nights in jail. Hell, he'd spent a few _weeks_ in jail before. He could take it. And the rest of the gang never got into any real trouble, so he'd pretty much forgotten about the place until now. But, as he stared at it, a sick, eerie feeling filled the pit of his stomach as though the church held some kind of horrible memory for him. He'd never been there, so he couldn't for the life of him think what kind of memory a place he'd never been could hold.

As he looked at it, he knew he'd never go there. He _couldn't_ go there. He didn't think he would even send anyone else there. In fact, the sick feeling slowly turned to a feeling of relief, as though in seeing and passing by the old, empty building and continuing on his journey, he'd avoided something terrible.

He wondered in awe about the feelings he was having. Bizzare, he thought. Wonder if the old place is haunted, or something?

He thought about how Johnny and Ponyboy used to go to church. He'd gone once, but no one knew. He had gone to meet Pony and Johnny and he'd waited for them outside the church below an open window. He'd been able to hear the minister quite clearly, speaking about God and how he loved his children and how even though bad things happen, it's all a part of God's plan.

"And we know that all things work together for good for those that love God, " the minister said.

Dally had sat back against the wall of the church and lit up a cigarette.

Whatever, he'd thought. He'd seen enough bad stuff to be pretty sure that "all things" weren't working together for good.

Maybe Mr. Preacher should hang out on my side of town for a few days, he'd thought ruefully.

"But the promise is not for everyone, " the minister went on. "Note that it says 'to them that love God'. For those who love God, he is working in their lives to turn even evil circumstances around for their long range good. We may not understand why or how, but God knows."

Dally digested that. On the rare occasions that he decided God existed, he only felt anger, certainly not love. So, Dally thought, I guess that pretty much leaves me out of that plan.

He was only half listening by this point. The way he saw it, he and the other greasers were pretty much stuck in their "evil circumstances" and he couldn't see a way that even _God_ could get any of them out. Except maybe Ponyboy.

"Think of a piece of coal," he heard the minister say. "If you place a piece of coal on a table and let it sit there, not much will happen. It's just a lump of coal. But, if you place it underground, under enormous pressure, in time, what happens to that piece of coal?"

There was a pause.

"It becomes a diamond!"

Dally raised his eyebrows. Was this guy nuts? If that were true, every low life on the East side of Tulsa would be getting rich in their own back yard! And what did coal have to do with people living with difficult circumstances? He was not making the connection.

"God wants everyone to be a part of his plan... It is His desire that everyone comes to know and accept His Son, Jesus-"

Dally got up and stormed off. He'd heard enough. Johnny and Ponyboy could come and find him when they were finished listening to all this nonsense.

Dally chewed at his lower lip as he remembered that day. That was one of the last times that Pony and Johnny had gone to church. The next week they'd brought some of the boys with them and Two-Bit had done something to embarrass them enough that they had never gone back.

Too bad, he thought. That preacher had been a pretty good speaker. Even though Dally had stormed off, he'd thought a lot about what he'd heard that day. He laughed a little at himself, still remembering. He couldn't believe he'd actually done it, but he had. He had buried a piece of coal that night.

Two-Bit had given everyone a lump of coal for Christmas one year as a joke. Dally hadn't really seen the humor in this, but for some reason, he'd kept the coal in the bottom drawer of his dresser at Bucks. He had just never bothered to get rid of it.

He waited for a night when he knew none of the gang was sleeping outside and he took the coal over to the far corner of the lot and buried it. He buried it as deep as he could and even put a few heavy rocks on top of it. What could it hurt, he had thought. It was such a ridiculous idea, that maybe it was actually true. Preachers were supposed to be honest men. And if it didn't work, no harm done, really. He certainly hadn't told anyone about it and frankly, he had completely forgotten about it until that very moment on the train. Maybe he would dig it up when he got back.

Dally's thoughts began to wander to other things.... things that had weighed on his mind for weeks now. He had made a choice to let Johnny go to Virginia. Granted, Johnny had a mind of his own, but Dally knew full well that he could easily have insisted that Johnny remain in Tulsa and Johnny would have stayed. Ultimately, he felt he was responsible for whatever happened from here on out. And then he began to think about choices. How making choices was like setting up dominos all in a row. If you make a wrong choice, set up a domino wrong, the whole thing can fall all at once. What were the implications of the choice he'd made not to stop Johnny from leaving? Was it a good choice? Had Dally removed him from harm's way, or had he sent Johnny straight into another living hell, just further away from his friends?

What would have happened if Johnny had stayed in Tulsa?

A noise from the back of the box car made him jump. A scraping sound... like one of the crates that was piled up against the wall had moved. Then a groan. Dally realized he was not alone in the car.

A/N...........Thanks so much to all of the reviewers.... I just like to know that people are reading, even if it's just a little blurb, please let me know!!


	12. Know When to Run

Thanks to everyone who has been sticking with this story! I know it's going a little slow in some parts, but this is all important. It's all leading up to something big. Keep reading, there's a lot more chapters coming!

_On a warm summer's evening on a train bound for nowhere_

_I met up with the gambler we were both too tired to sleep_

_So we took turns at staring out the window at the darkness_

_Till boredom overtook us, and he began to speak_

_He said, Son, I've made my life out of reading people's faces_

_And knowing what their cards were by the way they held their eyes_

_So if you don't mind my saying, I can see you're out of aces_

_For a taste of your whiskey I'll give you some advice._

_So I handed him my bottle and he drank down my last swallow_

_Then he bummed a cigarette and asked me for a light_

_And the night got deathly quiet, and his face lost all expression_

_Said, If you're gonna play the game, boy, ya gotta learn to play it right_

_You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em,_

_Know when to walk away and know when to run._

_You never count your money when you're sitting at the table_

_There'll be time enough for counting when the dealing's done_

_Now Every gambler knows that the secret to surviving_

_Is knowing what to throw away and knowing what to keep_

_Cause every hand's a winner and every hand's a loser_

_And the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep._

"Who's there?" Dally asked threateningly. He wasn't afraid. It took a lot to scare him anymore.

There was more groaning as a tall, very older looking man stumbled out from behind the crates carrying an empty Coke bottle.

He stood for a moment, stretching slightly as he looked at Dally. "Name's Joe," the man responded. "Who're you?"

Dally sized him up quickly and decided there was little threat to his safety- not even worth the effort of standing up. "Dallas," he answered finally.

The man grunted and sat down on the other side of the open door across from Dally.

"Dallas...." the man muttered. "Dallas Dallas Dallas...."

Dally's eyes narrowed. "Yeah, what's it to you?" he asked, starting to get annoyed.

Joe's eyes never left the horizon. "Been there."

Dally rolled his eyes and looked back out of the doorway. He pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and lit it.

"Got enough to share?" Joe asked pleasantly.

Dally considered pushing him out the door, but he didn't. Wordlessly, he flung a cigarette and a packet of matches across the floor of the train towards the stowaway.

"Most people ridin' in the boxcars are runnin' away from something." Joe said, regarding Dally with a knowing stare. "You look awful young to be running away."

"I ain't running away!" Dally snapped. "And I ain't that young!"

"You're too young to have the troubles you do."

Dally glared at him. "What the hell do you know? You don't know me."

"I can read it in your face." Joe said, taking a cigarette from the box and tossing it back to Dally. "You done something you wish you hadn't."

Dally just stared dangerously at him. The man was giving him the creeps.

Joe shook his head. "Don't mean you gotta jump on the first train heading outta town."

Dally was furious. Who did this wacko think he was?

"So?" Joe prodded.

"So what?"

"What'd ya do?"

"None of your damn business! And if you don't shut the hell up, I'll kick your ass right off this train! It's getting damn crowded in here."

Joe blinked in what looked like mock surprise. "Well. I guess it must've been pretty bad... That kind of language...."

Dally threw his cigarette butt into the bushes. "I'm checking up on a friend, all right?" Dally didn't know why he told him. Maybe he just wanted to shut him up. Maybe he just wanted to tell someone.

Joe nodded. "I see. Do you think he's all right?"

"I don't know, that's why I'm checking on him. Damn. You ask a lot of questions. What do you care, anyhow?"

Joe looked mildly amused. "I don't know. You looked like you could use a friend. What's wrong with caring about another person?"

Dally glared at him.

Besides," Joe went on, "you got something better to do right now?"

Dally didn't answer him.

"Let me tell you something, Dallas. I've been around a _long_ time. Caring about someone other than yourself is ... what gives meaning to life."

"Meaning to life?" Dally snorted. "Yeah. I'm gonna believe some bum knows something about the meaning of life."

Joe looked at him intently. "It's got you on a train out of town going to check on a friend. And I figure you must be goin' a long way to be hoppin a train."

"Virginia," Dally could've kicked himself. Why do I keep answering him? He thought in frustration. But for all the snapping Dally was doing, there was something about talking to the old man.

"Ahh." Joe nodded, looking pleased. "That is a long way. What happened to your friend?"

Dally thought about ignoring him. He thought about telling him where to go. Then he heard himself telling him, "He... left town. He's living with a new family."

They sat in silence for a while. Joe waited, knowing he had gotten through a little bit of Dally's wall. Then he nodded, as though he had the whole story figured out. "Life wasn't treatin' him so good here?"

"This wasn't life," Dally shot back angrily. "It was hell."

"So, he must be fine, then. Anything is better than Hell."

"How would you know?"

Joe smiled and looked out the doorway. "Oh, I know a lot more than you think I do. Just because I look old, and don't have nice clothes... You should know better!" he scolded, still smiling.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Joe just shook his head. "I've been to your side of Tulsa. I actually _do_ know who you are."

That didn't surprise Dally at all.

"You're very worried about your friend, aren't you? There's something more, isn't there?"

Dally's face turned sour and he looked away.

Joe just waited. It was a while this time, but Dally responded.

"He.... he's had it really tough. He was already... kind of on the edge. If this isn't working out-" Dally just shrugged and stopped talking.

"Ahh... you're afraid he might do something foolish."

Do something _foolish_? He made it sound like Johnny was going to cheat on a test or something.

"Well, your journey is a noble one, then. Why, you're like his guardian angel!" Joe smiled.

Dally turned his head and looked at him, almost shocked. He snorted in disbelief. "Yeah, right! Maybe you don't know me as well as you think." The very thought had almost gotten a laugh out of him. Dallas Winston, a guardian angel. This guy was really nuts. And he obviously had no idea how serious the situation really was. Dally didn't like the fact that Joe took it so lightly. Like there was nothing to worry about because Johnny's "guardian angel" was about to show up. _What if I don't make it in time_? Dally started thinking again.

Joe raised his eyebrows. "Well, if things were that bad for him here, sounds like he made the right choice, then, to leave."

Dally just stared off into the distance.

"But you're not so sure..." Joe said, looking at Dally's expression.

"What are you, a mind reader now?" Dally shot back. But it was the truth. He _wasn't_ sure.

Joe shook his head. "No... not a mind reader. Just seen enough faces to kind of know what people are feeling. And I'm seein' a lot of doubt in yours."Joe gazed off in to the distance again.

"It must've been hard for you to let him go... sounds like he's pretty important to you."

The guy had struck a raw nerve. Dally went on the defensive. "He's important to the gang. If something happens to him-"

"You wouldn't be able to stand it."

"I didn't say that!"

"You didn't have to."

_I can handle this... I can handle this_! "I've seen people _gunned down_ in the streets of New York!"

"Right. So you can handle anything."

"Whatever!" Dally turned back towards the window. This guy had struck too many nerves. Dally had said too much. He was not going to say any more. He wanted to yell at him. Tell him to shut up, that he didn't know what he was talking about. But he couldn't. The guy was right. He had no idea if he'd done the right thing or not. And it felt almost relieving to hear someone say it.

"Sometimes lettin' people go out of your life is the right thing to do." Joe sighed, sensing Dally's tension. "God's got everything in his hands. Dallas. It may not seem like it all the time, but He does. You gotta have a little faith."

"I don't believe in God." Dally said with bitter conviction.

Joe just chuckled and leaned back against the wall of the boxcar. "Don't matter," he said closing his eyes. "He believes in you."

Dally scowled as Joe drifted off to sleep. He stared out the window some more, until he too gave in to exhaustion. He moved away from the open door and curled up in a dark corner of the car. He eyed Joe suspiciously as his eyes began to close. He was one strange bird.

(A/N)

Thank you so much to those of you who took a little time to leave me a review!! I REALLY appreciate it!

Oblivious Misconception- I'm so happy that you find the plot engaging! Thanks for saying that... I was getting worried that this was going too slow for people!

Kimmerkay- Glad you liked the part about Windrixville. I had a lot of fun writing that! Thanks for reviewing.

MissLKid and Jessie13- Bet you didn't guess who was in the car!! After reading your reviews I got all these other ideas for how that chapter could have gone! But I figured I'd better stick with what I had, or we're never gonna get through this story!!! Thanks so much for your reviews.

Bobo- Glad you're still reading! Thank you so much for faithfully reviewing!

DaNNiBabezZz- Thank you for the review! I really appreciate it!


	13. Clues to the Past

Johnny walked up the stone driveway slowly taking in all the sights and smells of autumn in Virginia. The leaves were a deep gold color and the air had turned cool. He smelled something baking in the house. There was something truly wonderful about this place. Everyone was nice to him and tried to make him feel at home. He enjoyed working at Matt's clinic, Wendy and Tom were like real parents to him and he especially liked going riding with his Uncle Will, whether it be on the horses he raised or in the Corvette. And there were animals everywhere. Cats, dogs, horses, chickens, all rescued from some sad situation, kind of like him. The place was full of love. All the same, he was painfully homesick and desperately missed the gang. They were the only real family he had known for so long. And he knew very well that he had hurt a lot of people when he had left.

Wendy had lined the walkway to the porch with pumpkins that Johnny had helped Matt harvest out of the garden. She had told him to pick one to carve and he had chosen the biggest one he could find. That one sat at the bottom of the stairs waiting for it's face. Right next too it sat Felix, the black tom cat that had been dumped off by someone at the house as a kitten. Johnny shook his head. It looked like it was right out of a magazine- black cat, big orange pumpkin. gold leaves. Felix looked at him and meowed. Johnny gave him a pat on the head.

Part of him was really looking forward to carving pumpkins, but part of him felt very lonely when he thought about it. He had carved pumpkins with Ponyboy and Soda a few times which had been really fun, and he had been with Dally and Two-Bit when they went out smashing jack-o-lanterns. He really hadn't enjoyed that at all, but he really missed Dally and Two-Bit and staring down at the gigantic pumpkin reminded him of that night.

Johnny heard a thumping sound and looked up to see two big black eyes peering at him through the screen door. Johnny grinned. "Hey, Coal..." he opened the door and a timid little black puppy waddled out of the house and leaned shyly up against him. Coal was an abuse case from a city several miles away. He had been brought to Matt's clinic by some people who had rescued him. He was half dead from starvation and terrified of human beings. Johnny was the only one who could get near him without him crying. There were dozens of critters wandering the property, in the house and out, and Johnny loved them all. But Coal was his dog. From the first day he saw him, he knew that was his dog.

Johnny went inside and said hello to Grandma Cade and went upstairs. Grandma returned his greeting warmly without looking up. She was in her rocking chair in the parlor, hunched over trying to untangle a wad of yarn while a scruffy looking orange kitten swatted at the dangling ends. Grandma Cade had been knitting something for the past few weeks and, to Johnny's relief, she had been completely absorbed in her work. It wasn't that she wasn't nice, she was just...strict. She reminded him a bit of how Darry was with Ponyboy, always making sure he got his work done, brought home good grades, ate all his vegetables, etc... She made him nervous. And strangely enough, he sensed that something about him made her nervous. He couldn't fathom what.

Right now, though, he had other things on his mind. As he had gotten more comfortable with his surroundings, he had started to do a little exploring. Wendy had told him the he could have the run of the house and nothing was off limits to him. Slowly, he was starting to feel at ease with that. And yesterday, something in the bigger bedroom, one of the two Wendy had offered him (he had chosen the smaller one) had piqued his curiosity.

Coal followed close at his heels as he entered the big room and pulled some books off the shelf. They were photo albums. Pictures of his past. Well, not _his_ past, exactly. He wasn't in any of the photos, just people in his family.

Johnny sat down on the bed with the books and opened them up. There were pictures of Wendy and Tom and Matt when he was really little. There were a few photos of Grandma Cade and some of his Uncle Will. And there were, of course, pictures of his parents. He found these pictures a little disturbing. He really didn't miss them at all. And it was strange to see them so young. His father looked much more fit and his mother had apparently, at one time, been an incredibly attractive woman.

Johnny moved on to another book, one with much older photos. There were pictures of Grandma Cade when she was younger and there were a few pictures of Grandpa Cade. He had passed away a long time ago, that Johnny knew, but he didn't know anything else about his grandfather. And there were pictures of another man in the book that Johnny didn't recognize. A mean looking man that reminded him of his father. Perhaps a great uncle? He wasn't sure. But he knew he didn't like him. It was something about the eyes...pale and cold like his father's. The picture actually frightened him enough to have to close the book and move on to a new one.

As he started to flip through the third book, a picture fell out onto the floor of a very young child. He picked it up and was so absorbed in it that he didn't notice Coal starting to whine. He looked closer at the child. At first, he thought he had actually found a photo of himself, but upon closer inspection, he realized it was not.

"Johnny,"

The voice made him draw in a quick breath.

Grandma Cade stood in the doorway with a disapproving look on her face.

Coal crawled under the bed.

"S-sorry. I was just-"

Grandma Cade's face softened. "Here," she said picking up the albums and putting them back on the shelf. "I just finished making a batch of cookies. I thought you might like a snack when you got home this afternoon. I thought it might help you study better before dinner. You can't study very well on an empty stomach, now can you?"

Johnny shook his head.

"Would you like to come downstairs and have some?"

Johnny shrugged. "Sure," he said as he got up to follow her.

She stopped in the doorway and turned around. "You can come too, Coal. I'm sure we can find something that you'd like too."

But of course, Coal just peered at them from beneath the bed ruffle. He would come out when he felt good and ready, Johnny knew.

Grandma continued through the hallway and down the stairs. "I declare, you certainly have a way with that pup. He's taking a liking to you like no one else."

In the kitchen, Johnny took a seat at the table while his grandmother went about getting him a proper place setting before serving him a cookie. He had started to get used to her mannerisms. She liked to wait on people. She loved to feed people. And Johnny really couldn't complain about being fed. He was suddenly starting to realize how truly unhealthy he had been. He felt so much better now. He was getting plenty of food and more rest than he'd ever had. He was fairly sure this was contributing to the improvement in his school work. He was actually getting fairly decent grades.

The first few weeks had been difficult. He had felt horribly out of place and very uncomfortable. Wendy had gotten him some new clothes, but he wished she had suggested that he do something with his hair. There weren't greasers here. Fortunately, there weren't socs either. And Wendy was not one to tell Johnny how to look. So he had finally ended up going on his own for a hair cut one day. Part of him felt relieved to look a little more like everyone else, and part of him felt like he had just thrown his identity right out the window and worse yet, betrayed his gang.

He started thinking about them again. He missed them all so much. He thought about calling them after dinner, but every time he talked to them on the phone, he felt more and more sad...

Grandma set a tall glass of milk in front of him, interrupting his thoughts.

"What's on your mind?" she asked.

He looked up quickly, not realizing that he'd been kind of staring off into space. "Uh.. oh, nothing," he lied. He didn't want to talk about the gang right now. It was too hard. So instead, he asked her a question.

"Um...Who's that old guy in the photo albums... not Grandpa Cade, but the one who looks really mad... Who is that?"

The moment he asked, he wished he hadn't. An eerie silence filled the room. Grandma Cade looked deeply concerned all of a sudden. But not surprised. She didn't look surprised one bit, as though she had wondered all along how long it would be before Johnny asked that. It was a while before she answered. A long uncomfortable quiet during which Johnny continued to wished with all his might that he had asked her any question but that one.

"That was Charles Hamilton... my first husband."

Johnny just looked at her for a moment. He didn't know how to respond. "Oh," he said finally, as though she had just told him one of the ingredients in the cookie he was eating.

She waited as though she expected him to ask something else, but he didn't. He was done questioning her for the moment.

A/N to the reviewers...

MissLKid- Yes, you really did have me re-thinking my chapter!! I started thinking of all the other people it could have been on the train and how the story would go from there. But I have to stay on track or I'll never get my chapters posted!! Thanks for reviewing.

Banana4422- Thanks for the review. Yes, Dally does rock!! S.E. Hinton did a good job with that character.

YLJedi- Thanks so much! So great to hear from you! Your story is progressing beautifully. Glad you liked the song from chapter one. I highly recommend listening to the song from chapter 3 (or is it chapter 2??) called When You Come Back Down by Nickel Creek. It's a really pretty song. Thanks again!

Kimmerkay Thank you so much for the review, I really find your words encouraging. Glad you're enjoying the story!


	14. The Visit

It was around midnight when Johnny awoke from a deep sleep. He wasn't sure what woke him, but something had. Coal was not at the foot of his bed like usual. A strong wind blew the curtains on his window and the leaves in the trees rustled outside. Johnny shivered and got up to close the window.

When he turned back to get into bed, he looked down and saw a little black tail sticking out from under the bed.

"Coal," he said and started to reach down. But something caught his eye. Someone was standing in his door way.

He looked up and froze. Standing not ten feet from him was the ghostly figure of the child he saw in the photo that afternoon.


	15. Dally's arrival

Dally walked quickly down the quiet street, the gold and orange leaves falling all around him in the soft breeze. He was still thinking about Joe from the train. When he awoke, Joe had disappeared. Either he'd gone back behind the crates to sleep for the rest of his trip or he'd jumped off the train somewhere along the way. But at this point Dally really didn't care anymore. He was focused on finding Johnny and hopefully getting something to eat somewhere in the process. He was cold, exhausted, and really hungry.

He looked towards the end of the street he was on and finally saw his destination. A yellow sign hung from a wrought iron post in front of a quaint looking white house. The sign read "Goshen Street Animal Clinic- Matthew Gates Veterinarian"

It was Saturday morning and Johnny had mentioned that Matt now ran the clinic for a few hours on Saturdays now that Johnny was around to help.

Dally walked up the stone steps and opened the door. He was somewhat surprised that the door was unlocked this early in the morning. He had a slightly nervous feeling in the pit of his stomach as he entered the main waiting area. The room was light with several windows letting in the morning sun. There was a faint smell of animals, masked by the scent of cleaning products.

There was no one there but a large brown dog lying right in the middle of the path to the main desk. The dog eyed Dally curiously, his black eyes peering out at him from his old white face. Dally walked up to him slowly and cautiously patted his head.

"You work here?" he asked the dog quietly.

"Yes," came a voice that made Dally jump a bit. It actually took him a split second to realize the voice did not belong to the dog.

A young man came out from the back room. He was average height, dark hair and brown eyes. Unmistakable eyes. Dally knew it was Johnny's cousin.

"Uh, I'm looking for....Johnny..."

Matt looked at him for a second. Then his face lit up in sudden recognition. "Are you Dallas?" he asked in utter disbelief.

Dally looked at him in surprise. "...Yeah, uh... how did you know that?"

Matt came out from behind the counter and grabbed Dally's hand and shook it. "I met you once in Tulsa. You look kind of the same and Johnny just talks about you all the time... I feel like I know you! What are you doing here? Man, you couldn't have come at a better time!"

"Wha-" Dally was not sure how to respond. He was still trying to figure out how Matt could possibly have recognized him. "I... "

"Johnny's at the house. He didn't feel well today. Here's the keys in case he went for a walk or something. He has this crazy habit of locking the door _all the time_. We've all had to start carrying keys around. Sorry I can't come with you, but I'm going to have people coming by in about a half hour-"

"You're giving me the keys to your house? You don't even know me!" Dally stared at him incredulously.

Matt waved him off, laughing, and went back behind the counter and started writing down directions to the house. "You're practically family. I figured you'd show up sooner or later. "

Dally just kept staring. "I... I don't know what exactly Johnny told you, but-"

"Dally, look, I know all I need to know. I trust you. _Molly_ trusts you," he said indicating the old dog on the floor. "She didn't even bark. And besides, it's not my house, it's my parents' house." Matt laughed and didn't even look up from the little map he was drawing.

"Your parents house?" He was giving Dallas Winston the keys to someone else's house.

"Here," he handed Dally the map. "He'll be thrilled to see you. He's been pretty homesick....that's putting it mildly."

"Is he all right?"

"He will be. He needs more time to adjust. Seeing you will do him some good."

Dally thought about telling Matt that he had suspected that and that was why he was here. He though about telling him that if _anything_ was wrong with Johnny, he would not be going home without him. But somehow, he felt that Matt all ready knew that.

"Oh, hey, you wanna take the car? It's not too far of a walk, but you're welcome to drive if you want." Matt offered, now bustling about the small office, getting ready for the morning.

"Uh, no, I'll just walk," Dally stammered, completely floored with the treatment he had just received.

Still a bit bewildered, Dally left the building and headed off in the direction of the house.

A/N to the reviewers...

Bobo.... No, please DON'T ever stop reviewing. I need the reviews. It keeps me writing. THANK YOU. I really mean it.

MissLKid... Thank you for reviewing EVERY chapter. It really means a lot to me!

Kimmerkay... Yes, there is a LOT more to this story than meets the eye. Thanks so much for the reviews. I'm so glad you like the story.

Sodapop's#1gurl... thanks so much for taking the time to review! I appreciate it.

a4568sbcglobal... Glad you liked my short and scary chapter!! I had fun writing it. Just a quick little Halloween thing.

YLJedi... your story is coming along so nicely! Thanks for reviewing in your notes... Glad to know you're still reading!


	16. Reunion

Johnny rubbed his eyes tiredly. He felt a little guilty about not going to help Matt at the clinic today, but he had just been so tired. After he'd seen, or at least _thought_ he'd seen, the "ghost", he had gotten no sleep at all. He had convinced himself for the most part that he had simply imagined it all. He had blinked and the image vanished. It had looked real enought for the brief instant he saw it, but he had been half asleep at the time and he was still under a good deal of stress over his new home, new family and especially being without the gang.

How he had wished last night that he could have been curled up in the Curtis' livingroom on the couch with Two-Bit or Dally asleep in the chair and Darry just in the next room. He always felt pretty safe there. But instead, he was in a room all alone in a massive house with people he was just starting to get to know. He had been too scared to go to sleep.

He absently patted Coal's head and watched the leaves scattering themselves around the yard. He had gotten out the rake and was planning to clean the place up a bit, but his head was throbbing and he had to sit down for a minute. After a little while, some of the animals that lived on the property noticed Johnny sitting quietly under the tree and cautiously approached him. Most of them were quite timid, coming from very difficult or abusive situations. And not surprisingly, several of them connected instantly with Johnny. Not that they would approach him easily, but they were visibly less afraid of him than anyone else.

Dally started up the driveway at 121 Oakwood Lane. He was about to go up to the front door when he saw someone in the distance over in the side yard. Sitting on a tree stump under a massive oak tree, surrounded by a duck, three cats and a small black puppy chewng at his feet was Johnny Cade.

Dally's heart sank into the pit of his stomach. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed the kid until that moment. He took a few steps forward, noticing as he got closer that Johnny had on new clothes and shoes. He looked healthier- not so skinny as before. His hair was shorter, not quite a much grease. His hair... Dally's heart sank even further. He was different. Was this still the same Johnny? Would Johnny even want to see him?

Johnny was absently stroking the puppy's ears and looking off in the distance. His body language alone confirming what Matt had told Dally. The kid was...sad. There was no other way to say it.

Then Dally stopped. He let out a long, low whistle, ending in a higher pitched note. He watched as Johnny froze for a minute, as though he couldn't believe what he was hearing. Then slowly, he turned towards Dally, his eyes wide. For a second, he just stared. "Dally?" he whispered.

Dally stood motionless, a lopsided nervous grin on his face.

There was a moment when niether of them moved.

"DALLY!!!" Johhny yelped as he jumped off the stump and ran at Dallas. The animals scattered in a flurry of fur and feathers as Johnny ran up the hill and upon reaching Dally, threw his arms around him and nearly knocked him over.

Dally grinned as he steadied himself. "Whoa, kiddo!! I want a tour of this house before I see the local hospital."

But Johnny just talked right over him. "Dally!! What are you doing here? How'd you find me? Aw, Dal, I miss you, I miss all the guys , I-"

"Hey, hey, take it easy, Johnnycake! One thing at a time," Dally was grinning ear to ear at Johnny's reaction.

Johnny's rambling didn't stop. "Are you staying? How long are you staying? Are the guys with you? Is Pony here too-"

Dally clamped his hand over Johnny's mouth, laughing in disbelief. "Kid! _Stop_! You haven't said that much in all the time I've known you!"

Johnny finally quit talking with Dally's hand covering his mouth, but his ever expressive eyes still regarded Dally with a bewildered stare.

Dally, satisfied that Johnny was finally going to be quiet for a minute, let his hand drop from Johnny's mouth and he took him by the shoulders. He studied him for a minute. He looked different, but in a good way. He looked healthy, stronger, and, best of all, there wasn't a bruise on him. And the suspicious, fearful look was completely gone from his eyes. Some of Dally's fear left him. But what had replaced the timid look in Johnny's eyes was one of saddness. He didn't show it now, but Dally had caught a slight glimpse of it a few moments earlier. He decided not to mention it."All right, now I can get a word in. You're looking good, kiddo. They treating you all right?"

Johnny just nodded and continued to stare at him, his bewildered look fading into one of sheer delight. A smile spread across his face, the likes of which Dally had never seen on him before. "Man, I'm really glad to see you..."

"I'm glad to see you, too, Johnnycake. " Dally threw his arm across Johnny's shoulder as they walked up towards the house. Dally studied the house and nodded. "Not bad, kiddo. Not bad!"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. It's cool- oh, wait..." Johnny turned around and squatted down on the grass. He snapped his fingerd and whistled. "Coal, here boy!"

Across the yard, the puppy had retreated to a cluster of bushes and was timidly watching Dally and Johnny.

Slowly, it inched it's way out of the shrubbery and, quivering, made it's way over to Johnny, tail tucked, head down.

"Good boy," Johnny said softly. The dog responded by licking his hand.

"Is that your dog?" Dally asked.

Johnny looked up at him, sheepishly. "Yeah. I know, he's not much of a watch dog, but he needed a home real bad."

Dally got down beside Johnny and reached his hand out.

"Oh, Dal, he won't-" Johnny's eyes widened as Coal took a hesitant step towards Dally and sniffed his hand. His little tail gave a slight thump on the ground and he looked at Dally with huge black eyes. Dally wouldn't say it, but that puppy's face about melted his heart.

Dally reached out to pet him and the puppy froze. His eyes closed and he quivered, as though he were bracing himself for Dally to hit him.

Dally glanced at Johnny, who stood by nervously watching. Dally hesitated. He talked quietly to the dog and very gently put his hand on the side of it's head.

Then, to Johnny's complete surprise, Coal gave Dally's hand a quick little lick, stumbled over to him and sat down, letting Dally scratch his ears.

"What? Why are you looking so shocked? You didn't think he'd like me, did you?" Dally teased.

But Johnny looked genuiely amazed. "He doesn't like _anyone_, Dal. The people that had him before were..." Johnny looked saddened. "They were really mean to him. He's afraid of people. It took me from the day after I got here till about two weeks ago to get him to let me touch him. And no one else can get near him at all!"

Dally looked smuggly at him and shrugged. "Guess I've got the magic touch! So, what's his name, again? Coal?"

Johnny nodded.

"You're a good judge of character, aren't you, Coal?" Dally said.

Johnny rolled his eyes. Coal looked perfectly contented.

Dally decided not to mention the uncanny resemblence of the dog and the owner. He'd heard the old saying, but never believed it till now.

"So, that's quite a house," Dally commented, standing up. "You're a soc now, you know!"

Johnny looked at Dally with disgust. "I am not!"

Dally laughed. "You gonna show me around?"

"You gonna call me a soc again?" Johnny challenged. He rarely showed this side to any of the greasers, especially not Dally, but Johnny could get sassy on occasion, if he felt confident enough.

Dally put up his hands defensively. "Hey, no need to start a rumble or anything... I wouldn't want to mess up this nicely manicured lawn!"

Johnny shook his head. "It's not that great, I mowed it myself."

"Yeah," Dally drawled nonchalantly. "I could tell, you missed a spot."

He almost wasn't able to doge Johnny's swing because he would never have expected it. But he did and he grabbed Johnny around the neck and tousled his hair.

"C'mon, " Johnny said, shaking loose from Dally's head lock. "I'll give you a tour."

They headed up the stone pathway to the back of the house.

"So this isn't Matt's house?"

"No, Grandma is insisting that I go back to school and I can walk from here. This is Matt's parents' house- my aunt and uncle. And my other Uncle, Will, lives here too- well, over in the carriage house. I guess the house has been in the family for a while."

"Grandma?"

"Yeah, she found out I was coming and she came up from Florida. She's living here too, now. For a while, anyway."

"Well, roll out the red carpet! It seems the Prince of Virginia has returned!"

"Aww, cut it out, Dal!"

The two boys walked up the driveway to the front door. Johnny opened it and they entered the foyer. Dally just stood there shaking his head, mumbling something about socs.

A/N to the reviewers.....

Bobo... you must be on the computer as much as me- your reviews come in about 5 minutes after I post a new chapter!! Thanks so much!

MissLKid... Yes, Dally's a bit over-whelmed right now. Thanks for the review!

Sodapop02... Sorry, I know this chapter did take forever to get to. I'm leading up to something so there's some chapters that don't have as much interaction between the gang members as I'd like, but they're important!! Thanks so much for sticking with the story and for the review!

Oblivious Misconception... Glad you liked this chapter! As always, I VERY much appreciate your review!

Kimmerkay.... the moment has arrived! Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thanks for reviewing!

Sodapop's#1gurl... Thanks for taking the time to review! I really appreciate it!


	17. Grand Tour

Unbelievable, Dally thought as he wandered through the house following Johnny. The kid was living in the lap of luxury! Granted, it was nothing like the mansions the socs lived in, but it was pretty darn nice. He watched Johnny walking from room to room, telling him all about this object and that...... he seemed almost at home. Dally sensed his loneliness, but he was beginning to wonder if coming here may have been a mistake. Maybe Johnny did just need more time to adjust. Dally couldn't really see any reason for him to be unhappy. A twinge of something swept through him for a moment as he walked through the brightly light hallway. Johnny didn't need him anymore. He felt....useless.

He rolled his eyes at himself and shook off the feeling.

"So where is everybody?" Dally asked.

"Well, Aunt Wendy and Grandma went to the store to get some things for dinner and candy for the trick-or-treaters and Tom and Uncle Will are over at the stables taking care of the horses."

"Horses?"

"Yeah, Will and Tom used to raise race horses back when Grandpa was still alive, but now they mostly just boards other people's horses and takes in the retired racers.. so that nothing bad happens to them." Johnny said the last part very seriously.

Dally nodded. He knew from working at the races back home what happened to the old racers.

As though on cue, at that very moment the front door swung open and in walked Johnny's aunt and grandmother carrying several bags of groceries.

"Hello, Johnny!" Wendy called as she walked into the kitchen. She did not see Dally until she put down her grocery bags. "Oh! I didn't know you had company!" She smiled and started putting away some of the things in the bags.

"Aunt Wendy, it's Dally! He came to visit me!" Johnny was bursting with excitement.

Wendy nearly dropped a can of soup. "Dally? Dallas Winston?"

Dally's insides froze. He hoped she wouldn't have him on the next train out of town. But to Dally's shock, her eyes lit up and she extended her hand and greeted him warmly.

"Well, what a delightful surprise!" she said shaking his hand. "How wonderful to meet you, Johnny has told us so much about you and all his friends..."

"Uh...nice to meet you too," Dally stammered.

Wendy's expression turned to one of concern as she looked more closely at Dally. "Why, you look exhausted! Have you eaten? Did you get any sleep? That must have been a long trip for you... I'll fix you something." She was already hurrying around the kitchen, setting pots on the stove and plates on the table.

"This is my grandmother," Johnny said, introducing the elderly woman standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

"Welcome, Dallas," she said with a soft smile, shaking Dally's hand. She was much more reserved than Wendy, and something in her eyes caught Dally's interest. She looked extremely concerned about his presence in the house.

Now that's more like it, Dally thought. That was an expression he was used to from adults. Not the friendly, trusting smiles he had gotten from Matt and Wendy. He was not sure how to react to them.

Wendy had pulled some bread out of the bread box. "Is a turkey sandwich and vegetable soup all right? Will that hold you until lunch time?" she asked Dally.

Dally looked at her, trying to hide his eagerness. He was starving. "Uh, yeah...thanks."

Once she had started heating the soup, she turned to Johnny. "Now you, how are you feeling? Any better?" She felt his cheeks and forehead, checking for fever.

"I'm fine," Johnny insisted. "I feel a lot better now."

Wendy looked doubtful, but let it go. "All right. It's probably doing you good to see your friend. Dally, it was so nice of you to come! But you two had better go to sleep early tonight! You both look exhauseted! Right after we carve the pumpkins."

Dally didn't say anything, but he wasn't sure he liked being mothered by someone he didn't even know. Johnny, however, seemed to have no qualms about uttering protest.

"But Uncle Will and I were going to watch that movie, _The Haunting_!!" Johnny said, pleadingly.

Dally raised his eyebrows in surprise. Usually, Johnny would just clam up and do what he was told. _Especially_ when it was an adult telling him what to do.

Wendy gave him a look.

Johnny gave her a look right back- the patented Johnny Cade 'just try to say no to these eyes' look. He didn't even know he was doing it, it just happened.

Dally watched the silent exchange with interest, knowing Wendy would not win against The Eyes.

But she held her ground for a good five or six seconds, her brow wrinkling slightly, her lips pursed. And then her expression softened and she resignedly gave in. "All right, but I don't think it's a good idea.... Will and those horror films... I don't know why he even likes those." She shuddered and went back to stirring the soup.

Dally watched her with curiosity. She looked like one of those TV moms... like June Cleaver with darker hair.

"Johnny, why don't you take Dally up and show him the other guest room where he can stay.... You are staying, aren't you Dally? We would love for you to be our guest for as long as you like."

Dally nodded and followed Johnny up the stairs.

"Here, I'll show you my room, too," Johnny said leading Dally into a small bedroom.

Dally looked around. There was a bed, a dresser and a desk. On top of the desk was the picture Dally had given Johnny the day he left. Next to the picture was a small tray of paints, a brush sitting in a cup of water and a half finished painting of a horse. Dally walked over and picked up the painting.

Johnny swallowed hard and his ears turned a bit red. He looked at his shoes.

Dally looked at him, noting his reaction. "Did you do this?"

"Uh... yeah. It ain't very good... I'm still kind of practicing."

"Ain't very good? Damn, kid! You're as good as Ponyboy!" Dally said staring at the picture in amazement. "I didn't know you could do that!"

Johnny turned even redder. "Neither did I... Ponyboy gave me the paints as kind of a going away present. I didn't really know what to do with them, but I have to take an art class at school... I guess I picked up a thing or two."

Dally looked around a bit more, then followed Johnny across the hall to the other bedroom. "This can be your room," Johnny said, proudly showing Dally where he would stay.

"Whoa! How'd you get stuck with the small room?" Dally asked, gawking at the fireplace and the massive bookshelves.

Johnny shrugged. "I picked that room. This one's too... big."

Dally flopped down on the bed and sighed. "Well, I like it. Maybe _I'll_ be the Prince of Virginia for a little while!"

Johnny rolled his eyes.

That night, before dinner, Dally met Johnny's uncles. First there was Tom, Wendy's husband. he was a tall, kind looking man with sandy colored hair and green eyes. He had a wise and gentle way about him. Then there was Will, Wendy's brother. He was young, in his early thirties, with a small build and dark hair. Johnny was the spitting image of this uncle, but without the reckless look. Will had a bit of a wild side. Wild for a Cade, anyway. He had come bounding in the front door and started to wrestle Johnny to the floor, just like Two-Bit or Soda might have done. Johnny appeared to be prepared for this as though it were a nightly ritual, and he quickly fended Will off and introduced him to Dally. Dally already felt like he knew Will, though. Johnny talked about him the most. He liked fast cars, scary movies... kind of a grown up kid. He seemed happy for the most part, but Dally could sense a sadness about him that was carefully hidden. He was able to sense this because whatever it was, Will hid it the same way Johnny would hide his feelings from everyone. Dally made a mental note to ask Johnny about him later.

Dinner was a noisy and almost festive event. Since there was a new guest in the house, Will and Matt stayed for dinner as well. Seeming to know that Dally might be uncomfortable talking about himself to a bunch of strangers, the whole family focused the conversation around how Johnny had been doing and what he'd been up to, which was more what Dally was interested in anyway.

After dinner, Tom carried four big pumpkins into the kitchen. He cut the tops out of each one with a big knife and Will, Matt, Johnny went to work scooping out the insides.

"C'mon, Dally. Don't tell me you don't want to join in the fun!" Tom handed Dally a spoon.

Johnny looked eagerly at Dally. "Yeah, c'mon, Dal! You gotta do one too."

Dally looked hesitantly at the orange mush Johnny was slopping down on the newspaper.

Johnny caught the look and grinned wickedly. He picked up a small thread of pumpkin innards and flung it at Dally. It hit him smack on the forehead.

Will roared with laughter.

Dally looked at him in shock for a moment. Had _Johnny_ just done that? He saw Johnny do it, but it was taking his eyes a minute to believe it.

Regaining his senses, Dally walked casually over to Johnny and reached his hand into the pumpkin. Johnny, still laughing, just cringed, knowing he deserved whatever he had coming to him.

Dally pulled out a handful of orange goop and draped it none too gently across Johnny's nose. Matt and Will were doubled over by this time and someone threw another handfull of pumpkin across the room. It hit Matt. Another handfull. The kitchen was an orange battle ground.

"Ow! My eye!" Will said through gasps of laughter as he was assaulted with a slimy string of seeds. Another handful flew through the air. It hit Tom.

"Hey! How did I get involved?" Tom reached for a handful of pumpkin and raised his arm up.

He was stopped by a loud gasp.

Wendy stood in the doorway, her mouth gaping. "Wha- Tom! What are you doing!"

"But honey-" Tom, his green eyes wide with innocence, tried pathetically to defend himself.

"Yeah, what are you doin', man?" Dally looked accusingly at Tom like he had started the whole thing.

"Wha-" Tom looked back at Dally in shock.

Johnny coughed loudly to mask a laugh.

Matt joined in. "Geez, Dad. We're tryin' to carve pumpkins here!"

Wendy folded her arms and tapped her foot, glaring at Tom.

Will was trying so hard not to laugh he was shaking.

Finally, Wendy just rolled her eyes and went to the cupboard. She pulled out a bowl and set it on the table. "No more throwing! I want all those seeds, I'm going to roast them later. Johnny, "she asked, the kindness in her voice returning. "Have you ever had roasted pumpkin seeds?"

Johnny looked at her, wrinkling his nose. "You mean, to eat?"

Wendy nodded. "Yes! They're very good! How about you Dally?"

"No," Dally was intently focused on a drawing he was making on the front of his pumpkin with a marker.

"Well, you boys are in for a treat. I used to make these for Matt every year when he was living here." Wendy said mopping up the pumpkin that had gotten on the floor.

Dally watched her for a moment. She had no idea that Johnny had started the pumpkin war and really wouldn't have cared if she knew. He glanced at Johnny, guilt was written all over his face. He got down on the floor and started helping Wendy pick up seeds.

"Oh, Johnny, stop... go back to carving!" Wendy shooed him away, laughing.

Dally shook his head. Johnny was starting to be a little more outgoing, but he still had his conscience. It was what made him Johnny.

They all carved quietly for a minute. Then Tom came around to put candles in everyone's jack-o-lanterns.

When he got to Dally, he gave him a look and said, "Thanks a lot!" under his breath.

Dally shrugged. He could tell Tom was just joking around.

Tom chuckled as he looked at the face Dally had carved. Two wide eyes and an open mouth, the pumpkin started with a horrified expression. "What happened to this jack-o-lantern?"

Dally looked innocently at him. "It's you," he told Tom. "When you got caught throwing pumpkin."

Will lost it again.

Matt yelled "Let me see!!"

"I never threw any pumpkin!" Tom yelled in mock anger.

Everyone was laughing and making all kinds of noise... it was almost like home. Dally felt a sudden pang of homesickness.

But at the same time, he had never felt this way in his whole life. Part of him didn't want to leave!

He had never carved a pumpkin- ever. Had he been back home, he and Steve and Two-Bit would either be out smashing other people's jack-o-lanterns or they would be inside harassing Ponyboy and Johnny while they tried to carve their own. What he really couldn't believe was that he was having fun! He didn't even feel that weird about the whole thing. He could let his guard down a little with these people. He had no image to protect here. He felt connected to them all some how. They had taken very good care of Johnny. They were good people and Dally respected them.

He caught sight of Johnny's grandmother watching them from the other room. She on the other hand, Dally wasn't sure about. She was smiling a little at their antics, but something didn't sit well with the way she looked at him. Or at Johnny, for that matter.

Dally shrugged it off. He had only been here for a day and already he was starting to disregard his street sense.

A/N to the reviewers:

Sodapop02.... So glad you liked that chapter!! thanks for reviewing!

Streetpanther1...Oh, I'm so glad you don't have flames! I would be sad! Thanks so much for the review! I really appreciate it!

Oblivious Misconception... Thank you so much for you kind review! I am flattered that you like my portrayal of Dallas. He and Johnny are my favorite characters (obviously!). So glad you're enjoying the story!

Bobo.... don't computers suck!! I hate when they don't work. Well, I'm glad you got to read the story later anyway. And I'm really glad to hear it was worth the wait! I couldn't wait to write it!

MissLKid... I hope you are feeling better! 4 weeks is a LONG time to be sick! And no, I've never roleplayed before. Is there an Outsiders roleplaying game? I don't know if I'd even know what to do! Thanks SO much for reviewing. I hope the story kept you entertained while you were sick!!

kimmerkay... thank you for your nice review! I am so glad that you liked the last chapter. I know I built it up for a while, so I am glad to hear that it was worth the wait. I appreciate your comments!

Lydia... Thank you so much for your wonderful review! I really enjoyed reading it. Thank you for your observation... I didn't find your comment weird at all. I love discussing stuff, so I'll elaborate. Given the lack of adult interaction in The Outsiders, I think filling the "parent role" was something that at times all the greasers did for eachother, even Ponyboy to some extent. But I think Dally would rarely be on the receiving end of that role as he was "second in command" after Darry. Actually, I hesitated having Darry use that term to refer to Dally, but in that situation, I felt he had gone into "parent" mode with Dally. I wanted to show that Dally was going through pain that was intense enough to need a kind of parental reassurance from someone- the only one in the gang who could really give that to him was Darry.


	18. Storms Coming

The fire crackled in Dally's room while rain pattered against the window. Johnny and Dally had gotten out a pile of the photo albums from the bookshelf and were looking through them. Johnny lay stretched out on his stomach, pointing out different people he could now recognize and telling Dally some of the stories he had learned. Dally sat cross-legged and listening intently, curious about all the photos and this branch of Johnny's family tree he had known nothing about, and somewhat amused to hear Johnny just chatter on about something. He'd never hear him talk so much.

Coal was sprawled out comfortably between the two of them, leaning against Johnny's shoulder and chewing on a sneaker.

"...and this is Grandpa Cade teaching Will how to shoe a horse." Johnny paused suddenly and glanced back at the door. He lowered his voice to a whisper and said, "You wanna see something creepy?"

Dally raised his eyebrows. "Sure."

Johnny glanced back at the door again and reached for a different photo album. It looked older than the others. He opened it up and pointed to a mean looking old man. "This was Grandma Cade's first husband. Charles Hamilton, or something."

Dally picked up the album and studied the picture more closely. He started to say something, but Johnny had opened up a newer album and was continuing his story about Grandpa Cade's horses and the history of the farm.

Johnny had gotten a chill looking at that picture. And he remembered the picture of the boy. He had purposely not pulled that album off the shelf. He didn't want to see that picture again.

"So, what else do you know about this guy?" Dally finally asked still studying the picture.

"Huh?" Johnny looked up and yawned. "Nothing really. Grandma said it was her first husband and I didn't ask anything else."

Dally's brow furrowed. A though was trying to form in his head, but he was too tired to concentrate. He closed the book and stretched out on the floor next to Coal. He picked up another album and flipped through the pictures. It wasn't long before the warmth of the fire, the hypnotic tapping of the rain and his exhaustion from his long trip started to affect him. His eyes grew heavy and turning the pages became more and more difficult as though each one were weighted down. It was several minutes before he realized that Johnny wasn't talking anymore.

"Johnnycake?" he asked closing the album. He turned to look and saw that Johnny had fallen asleep. Even Coal had given up on the sneaker and was starting to doze off.

Dally shook his head and thought about either waking Johnny up and sending him off to bed or at least getting him a pillow. I'll just close my eyes for a minute before I wake him up, Dally thought. And with that, he was out cold.

It was about an hour later when a loud sound woke Dally. Grogilly, he opened his eyes and shivered.The fire had burned down to a pile of glowing embers and the rain was pouring down outside. Johnny was still asleep. Coal lifted his head and thumped his tail a few times upon seeing Dally awaken.

Dally patted his head and got up to get some blankets and a pillow. He brought them over to the floor and covered Johnny up. Then he gently started to lift his head to put the pillow under him. As soon as he touched him, Johnny gasped and sat up, his eyes wide with fear.

"Easy, kid! It's just me," Dally whispered laying a hand on Johnny's arm.

Johnny's eyes were closed and his breathing was ragged. Even in the dark, Dally could tell that all the color had drained from his face. He had seen him scared like this before, more than once. "Hey... what's the matter, buddy?"

Johnny started to speak, but at that moment Dally was suddenly made aware of what the loud noise was that had woken him up moments earlier. Lightning light up the room so brightly that Dally could see everything. Coal scurried under the bed and Dally waited, knowing what was coming.

The thunder sounded like a gun shot inside the room.

Johnny jumped and squeezed his eyes shut. Even Dally drew in a quick breath. He patted Johnny's shoulder. "That was sure a loud one, huh?"

Johnny swallowed and nodded.

"You OK, kid?"

"Yeah," Johnny nodded. He was not about to tell Dally that he had been dreaming about a ghost.

"I didn't mean to wake you up, I just thought you might need a pillow. The floor's kinda hard." Dally said, rubbing at the kink in his own neck.

"It's OK. I should probably go get in bed," Johnny mumbled sleepily.

"All right." Dall stood and helped him up. "Boy, that rain sure is coming down." Dally walked over to the window and looked out over the yard.

Johnny followed him, somewhat unsteadily from being half awake. He was curious to see the rain too.

But when he looked out the window, he wished that he had just gone off to his room. Lightning flashed again and as it lit up the darkness, he was sure that he could just make out the image of a ghostly white figure standing by the edge of the woods towards the back of the yard. It was pointing towards the trees and looking right at him. The thunder crashed and Johnny shut his eyes. When he opened them, all he saw was a dark back yard and rain pouring down. Johnny drew in his breath and gripped the window sill.

"Johnny?" Dally looked out to the yard, following Johnny's gaze. Seeing nothing, he quickly turned back and took Johnny by the shoulders. "Johnnycake? Hey... kid, you're shaking! What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Johnny said shaking his head, trying to forget what he'd just seen. "Nothing, I'm OK."

"Don't tell me you're OK, you're scared to death!" Dally demanded. He was getting frustrated and more than a little concerned. He knew Johnny hated thunderstorms, but he seemed more shook up than usual.

Johnny looked pleadingly at him, begging him to just drop the subject. "It's nothin', Dal. Too much Halloween, stuff, you know?"

Dally studied him for a minute, remembering that he'd just watched a horror movie a few hours ago and probably just felt a little embarrassed about having nightmares. "Mmm. Too much Halloween _candy_, probably. All right, look. Why don't you just stay in here tonight. I don't think your dog is coming out from under the bed anyhow."

Johnny felt a rush of relief not to have to leave the room. He wouldn't admit it, but he was afraid to go into the hallway. "Are you sure?" he asked, hoping Dally really didn't mind.

"Yeah, I'm sure!" Dally said gruffly, picking the blankets up off the floor. "Now lie down and get some sleep. Your aunt's gonna kill you for bein' up so late."

Johnny climbed into the huge bed. The second he did, Coal came wiggling out from underneath the bed and hopped up beside Johnny.

He looked expectantly at Dally carrying the blankets.

"Oh, you too?" Dally asked. "Fine. Maybe we should see if any of the cats need a place to sleep tonight too. Or the ducks."

Johnny glanced at him to see if he was really annoyed. He decided he wasn't and satisfied that Dally was just "being Dally", Johnny laid back and closed his eyes.

Coal waited on Johnny's pillow while Dally put the blankets back on the bed. Then he plopped himself down right in the middle and stretched out like he owned the place.

Dally shook his head and layed down too. He looked over at Coal. "You're getting awful bold, dog." he said.

Coal looked at him for a minute and then licked him on the nose.

"Uuugh!!" Dally made a face.

"I can't believe he likes you so much," Johnny mumbled slowly, trying to form words as he began to fall asleep.

"Yeah, it's just great," Dally said sarcastically. But inside, he smiled. It was neat that Coal had taken to him right away. He really liked the little mutt.

Coal yawned and, with a contented whine, stretched out beside Dally. Certain that Johnny was sound asleep, Dally reached over and stroked the dog's ears. "You're a good dog," he mumbled softly.

For a moment, as his eyes were starting to close, he watched Johnny sleeping. He was safe and warm and well fed. He was surrounded by people who loved him and protected him. With a sinking heart, Dally let his eyes close. He knew that when he went home, he would be going home alone. This is where Johnny needed to be.

A/N to the reviewers:

Bobo: Thanks so much for the review! I am happy to hear how much you like the story! I love hearing from you. Hope you like the latest chapter!

MissLKid: 5 weeks??? Well, I certainly hope you're better by now!! Thanks a ton for the review. As for roleplaying, it sounds fun, but I don't know if I have time right now!! I have trouble updating this story regularly as it is. But someday I might like to try it. I'm flattered that you would consider me!

JamesDeanismygod: Thank you!! Glad you liked it! I've been enjoying your story as well!

streetpanther1: Yes, Dally tends to show his softer side in my stories. I try my best to keep him believeable, though. Glad you liked it!

Oblivious Misconception: Yes, it's weird to think of Dally as only 17, isn't it? And I find it even weirder that he's only a year older than Johnny. Johnny seems so much younger. I guess it's just the way that the two react to and deal with things that make them seem so far apart age wise. Thank you so much for the review.

kimmerkay: Thanks so much! I'm so glad you liked it. I am enjoying writing this new side of Johnny.

expletive deleted: I have to be careful. I like to show Dally's other side in my writing, but I always worry that I'm making him too soft! I try to keep him in character as best I can, but I just love to explore what really goes on behind the facade he puts up. Thanks so much for the review!!


	19. Caroline

_Thanks so much to all the reviewers! I am so encouraged by your words. Sorry about the long wait. I have this story all mapped out, I promise to finish it! I had a minor glitch in the plot, but I'm ready to keep going. There is an ending in sight, but there's a lot more story to tell! Hope you enjoy!_

Dally awoke the next morning to see Johnny standing at the window, looking out over the back yard towards the woods.

"What's so interesting out there? If it's a girl in a bikini or something, you should have woke me up sooner," Dally quipped groggily.

Johnny jumped a bit, turning towards him. "What?" Then he just rolled his eyes and turned away from the window.

"What were you looking at?"

"Nothing. Hey, look, I gotta go to church, man. You wanna come?"

Dally raised his eyebrows. "Me? Go to church? Yeah, right."

Johnny shrugged. "Suit yourself. I'll be back in a couple hours."

Dally mummbled something as Johnny left. Good old Johnny, he thought as he drifted back to sleep. Still going to church.

It was nearly noon when he woke up again. He smelled something really good coming from downstairs.

He threw on some clothes and headed for the kitchen.

"My goodness," Wendy exclaimed when she saw him. "Do you always sleep till lunch time?"

"No," Dally said. "I usually don't get up till dinner."

Wendy smiled and went back to making what appeared to be mashed potatoes. Although, the last batch of mashed potatoes Dally had seen were green. But he was a long way from the kitchen of Sodapop Curtis.

Dally filled up a glass of water at the sink. As he was starting to drink, he happened to look out the window and he nearly choked.

"Who is that!" he asked, putting the glass down on the counter. Outside in the yard was Johnny. And he was talking to a girl! And a pretty one at that. She was wearing a pale green dress that hung just below her knees. Her hair was a soft blond and was pulled back in a long ponytail. She looked shyly at Johnny as they talked. She was definately not a greaser. But, Dally mused, not really a soc either...

Wendy looked over his shoulder. "Oh, that's Caroline," she said with a smile. "Isn't she sweet? I think she likes him."

Dally just kept staring out the window.

Wendy lauughed. "We didn't think Johnny was ever going to talk to a girl until he met Caroline. There was a different one coming by here every day for a while-"

"Girls?" Dally asked surprised.

"Oh, yes! Sometimes a few of them at a time. Asking if they could copy his notes, help them study... oh, they had all kinds of excuses."

Dally looked away from the window for a moment to stare bewildered at Wendy.

She just kept working on the mashed potatoes. "He's quite popular with the ladies, from what I understand."

"Johnny?" Dally asked shocked. "The same Johnny that's afraid to even make eye contact with girls!"

"Well, yes!" Wendy replied. "He comes into this small town all dark and mysterious... looking just a little dangerous to those girls because he's from the city. And you know how he is underneath it all, so soft spoken and gentle...The girls just ate that up. But you're right," she said looking up. "That is the shyest boy I have ever seen! He just didn't know how to intereact with any of them. Except Caroline."

"Yeah, well, back home the girls are... different." Dally said looking back out the window, a somewhat guilty expression passed across his face. "We kind of told Johnny to stay away from the girls in our neighborhood. We might have... overdone it a bit."

"Well," Wendy chuckled. "Whatever you told him, it sure sank in. But I knew he and Caroline would hit it off. Something just told me..."

Wendy watched Dally as he looked out the window. He was squinting slightly, his eyebrows lowered. She smiled to herself as she realized what he was doing. He was studying Caroline... sizing her up, making sure she was ok.

"Johnny met her at school," Wendy said trying to give Dally a little information about the girl. "She's very nice. She has a wonderful family and she goes to the same church as we do. Johnny's just completely smitten by her."

But Dally had come to a conclusion by himself that Caroline was acceptable. And then a sly grin formed on his face. "Smitten, is he?"

"Oh, now Dallas!" Wendy raised a spoon of mashed potatoes at him, suddenly realizing that she might have just made a big mistake and given Dally far too much information. "Don't you embarass him."

Dally looked at her innocently. "Why would I do something like that?"

Wendy just looked helplessly after him as he bounded out the back door.

But by the time Dally got out to where Johnny was standing, Caroline was already walking down the driveway. Johnny stared after her, Cupid's arrow portruding almost visibly from the center of his chest.

Coal was lying at his feet, chewing on a stick. He saw Dally approahing and thumped his tail. Johnny didn't notice.

Dally put his hands in his pockets and strolled up beside him. He cleared his throat after a minute to announce his presence as Johnny had not heard him approaching. Smitten people were apparently a bit hard of hearing.

"Who was _that_?" Dally asked with more than a hint of suggestiveness in his voice.

Johnny glanced nervously at him. "Uh... Caroline."

"Ohhhh,Caroline. Hmmm...Caroline... Caroline Cade someday perhaps? Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?" Dally grinned at him.

Johnny just reddened and walked back towards the house, Coal following close at his heels.

"Aw, c'mon, Johnny! I'm just kiddin' around!"

Wendy was glaring daggers at him out the kitchen window. He raised his hands innocently. "What?"

Johnny went upstairs and changed out of his church clothes.

Dally came into the kitchen to face Wendy.

"Now, what did I tell you?" she scolded.

"To get up earlier? Now I see why! Man, if I'd known I was gonna miss all this, I might have even gone to church!"

Wendy looked at him exasperated and went back to her cooking. "I've got a good mind to serve your dessert to the goats."

Dally just grinned and headed upstairs to rib Johnny a little more.

Johnny was tieing his sneakers when Dally appeared in the doorway. Johnny just looked at him for a second and then flopped down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. "Go ahead, man. Get your jollies."

Dally just shook his head. "You've got it bad, don't you?"

Johnny grinned sheepishly. "Yeah, I guess I do."

"She ain't bad, Johnnycake, she ain't bad at all. Now, you be careful, though-" Dally pulled a chair up beside Johnny's bed and sat down very seriously. Johnny knew immediately where this conversation was headed.

"DALLY!" he exclaimed, sitting up in alarm, his ears turning as red as Ponyboy's always did. "Look, man, I only just met her a few weeks ago. I don't think we need to have this talk!"

Dally bit his lip and nodded. "All right. But, when the time comes, I'll give you some pointers!"

Johnny wrinkled his nose in disgust and hopped off the bed. "I don't need any pointers. And besides, what do you know about nice girls, anyway?"

Johnny narrowly missed Dally's swing at him and he took off down the hallway and down the stairs.


	20. Taking a Walk

"I'm goin' for a walk." Johnny called to Wendy as he headed out the back door.

"All right, the food will be ready in about an hour," she called back.

Dally followed him out the door, the lopsided grin still plastered on his face. He was really happy for Johnny. "So, did you kiss her yet?" Dally asked as Coal bounded and nipped playfully at their pantlegs

"Aww, cut it out, Dal!" Johnny shot a glance back at him.

"Well, did ya?"

"I told you, I just met her!"

"And I told you, you could use some pointers!" He knew Johnny wouldn't tell him anything, at least not right now, but that wasn't going to stop Dally from teasing him. He couldn't help it. He'd never had the opportunity to tease Johnny about something like this- or really about much of anything. At home things were too serious. He'd heard about the whole thing that went on with Sylvia hanging around Johnny while he'd been in the cooler. He had been glad that Steve had talked to Johnny about her. And he was glad to some extent that Johnny had been practically afraid of girls after that. The girls in their neighborhood were nothing but trouble. And Johnny didn't need anymore touble than he already had.

But here, it just seemed like there was nothing to worry about. Caroline looked like a sweet kid and Johnny was so embarrassed about the whole thing that it made it difficult _not_ to give him a hard time about it. It was all in fun.

But Johnny did not seem to be in the mood for fun at the moment. He gave Dally a look that clearly said, 'drop it'. So he did. For the time being. When he stopped focusing so much on the girl, he realized that Johnny was not just out for a walk. He was very deliberately headed somewhere. Coal stayed about three strides ahead of them, nose to the ground as though he already knew where they were going.

Not wanting to be left out, Dally asked, "Hey, where ya goin' anyhow?"

"To the woods."

"What is it with you and these woods?" Dally had seen Johnny staring out the window this morning in the general direction of the forest and he had figured he was looking at the trees. He had looked really scared last night during the storm, like he'd seen something outside.

Johnny didn't answer him. Dally was used to this, so he just kept his mouth shut and walked. They approached the edge of the forest and Johnny hesitated for a moment and looked around before he actually stepped into the trees. His black eyes were wide with concern, but his jaw was set and his brow furrowed. Dally studied his actions quietly, without being obvious. He had discovered that one could learn a great deal more about Johnny Cade by watching, rather than listening. Right now, he was scared, but determined. Dally was curious about this, but he also sensed that if he asked too many questions, if any at all, he would learn nothing about what was going on in the kid's head. So he just followed quietly. There seemed to be no immediate reason that he could think of to inquire about Johnny's thoughts.

Coal, who had absoloutely no idea where they were going, would turn around every so often to see if Johnny was still behind him before galloping ahead to sniff at some leaves. He liked to pretend he was leading. Sometimes he would come running back and actually take Johnny's hand in his mouth and pull him along. Dally watched this in amusement. "That pup is something else," he said, shaking his head.

This place is so different from Tulsa, Dally mused. And it wasn't just the place itself, but the whole way of life, the feeling of it. There was no worry, no anger. Yes, the anger was what was suddenly almost gone from him! Granted, if he stopped and thought about it, he could easily muster up some hatred for a lot of things- socs, his father, Johnny's father... but as he walked, he realized he didn't need to think about those things. Those things were hundreds of miles away. Dally marveled at the idea of just not carrying that around with him anymore. He was actually enjoying a walk through the woods. He was paying attention to the sounds and the smells. This was amazing!

They walked for what seemed like a pretty long time to Dally. Johnny started checking his watch. It was probably getting close to the time they should start heading back for lunch, but Dally didn't ask. He thought it was really funny to see Johnny checking a watch.

Over a little hill, through more bushes, they walked on with the light coming in sparkling patches throught the yellow leaves on the trees.

And then things changed rather suddenly. The wind picked up slightly and a dark cloud rolled across the sky covering up the sun. A very light drizzle started falling as Dally zipped up his coat.

Johnny suddenly stopped and drew in his breath and made a funny sound in his throat. He had apparently found what he was looking for.

"Johnny?" Dally followed Johnny's eyes straight ahead. Portruding from the golden brown leaves of the forest floor were several gravestones. They were in a cemetery.

**Thanks so much to all of you who reviewed the last chapter!**

**Tehsylvania-** thanks! I'm glad you liked it.

**streetpanther1-** I'm thrilled that you like the story som much! You will find out about what you were wondering soon.

**JamesDeanismygod-** Thank you so much! I really appreciate all the reviews!

**Sarah126-** Thanks so much for reviewing! No, this isn't going to be a slash story, but I hope you'll still enjoy it! It's so exciting that people all over the world visit this site! That just always amazes me. What country are you from? I'm really glad you like the story and I liked reading your reviews! Thanks!

**Kimmerkay-** Thank you for always reviewing my stories... I truly appreciate it!


	21. The Cemetery

Dally looked around at the half dozen or so gravestones popping up through the brown and golden leaves. "Whoa! Check it out!" He headed over to the stones to read the names.

The first one he came to appeared to be the oldest. The name on the front read Charles Hamilton. Johnny's grandfather, Dally thought as the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. "This must be the family burial site, huh?" he was so engrossed in exploring the cemetery that he hadn't noticed that Johnny hadn't moved from the spot he had stopped in.

Dally finally glanced up briefly when he got no response. "Johnny? You ok, kid?" he asked distractedly, looking over the other stones.

Coal sniffed eagerly at the ground, his nose burrowing under the leaves. He bounded from spot to spot, but stayed noticably close to the two boys.

Johnny swallowed. "Uh...yeah."

Dally heard the hesitation in Johnny's voice and looked up."It's just a cemetery. It ain't like there's ghosts or anything." He did not miss the fleeting horrified look he got from Johnny at that comment.

Johnny took a breath and followed Dally.

"Michael Cade... who's that?"

"That's Grandpa Cade. He was Grandma's... second husband," Johnny said, still surprised over the fact that his grandmother had been married twice.

"But he's like your step-grandfather, right? 'Cause this guy Charles Hamilton, he was your dad's father, wasn't he? He looks just like him in those photos."

"Yeah, I guess, " Johnny said glancing nervously at the headstones.

"So," Dally continued, pausing to think a moment. "You're not _technically_ a Cade then. You're really a Hamilton."

"Uh... yeah, I guess I must be," Johnny didn't really care at the moment whether he was a Cade, a Hamilton, or a Kennedy. He just wanted to get out of the woods.

Dally just stood there for a moment, looking at him. "Huh," he said simply and then went back to studying the stones.

"Emily Cade...beloved wife... died in 1955. Who was that?"

"I don't know." Johnny said keeping close to Dally and watching the surrounding woods intently. Coal, sensing his discomfort, sat down beside him and whined softly. He nuzzled his nose under Johnny's hand so that Johnny would pet him.

"Here's a little one... Christopher Cade." Dally said. "Do you know that one?"

"No," Johnny said, but he made it a point not to go near the small grave. "Look, we gotta be getting back, Wendy's going to be upset if we're late. She always makes a big lunch on Sundays."

"Will you relax? You're actin' like one of these graves is gonna swallow you up!" Dally lit up a cigarette and stared at Johnny. He could tell something was up.

Johnny just looked even more jumpy. "C'mon, man, let's go!"

"Fine." Dally sighed.

On the walk back, Dally decided he'd had enough of letting Johnny keep to himself. "How'd you know that cemetery was there?"

"I didn't."

"Well, you sure acted like you were looking for something."

Johnny didn't answer.

Dally grabbed his arm to stop him. Johnny about jumped out of his skin. Dally let go of him immediately. "Sorry, kid, I... what's with you?"

"Nothin', " Johnny said.

Dally folded his arms. "Right."

They just stood there for a good 30 seconds, neither one of them speaking. Finally, Johhny sat down on a nearby stump. He put his head in his hands as though he had a headache.

Dally sat down on a big rock and waited.

"You're gonna think I'm nuts," Johnny said softly.

"Too late."

Johnny lifted his head and looked over his shoulder in the direction of the house. They were close enough to the house now where he felt a little more comfortable. "I... saw something... a few days ago."

Johnny hesitated. Dally waited. Getting information out of that kid had always been like pulling teeth.

"I saw this... ghost thing... I think."

"A ghost?" Dally forced himself no to let surprise be heard in his voice. "Where?"

And it worked. Johnny only heard Dally's usual calm, cool tone of voice, and he took comfort in that. And in the fact that Dally wasn't laughing at him. At least not yet. "In my room. The day before you came."

"That wasn't the only time you saw it, was it?" Dally asked, remembering Johnny's expression as he looked out the window the night of the storm.

Johnny looked at him, surprised. "N-no. I saw it last night too."

"Are you sure it was... a ghost?"

"No, I'm not even sure I saw it, it was only for a second both times and I was half asleep... I don't know. It's crazy, I know, but last night... last night it was pointing into the woods."

Dally would never admit it to Johnny, but he was a bit spooked. No wonder the kid was so jumpy. But Halloween was tomorrow, they'd been staying up late, it was probably nothing. He reached into his coat pocket for another cigarette. He offered one to Johnny, but Johnny shook his head.

"Tryin' to quit," he said simply.

Dally shrugged and lit one for himself. He took a long drag, blew a smoke ring and cracked a weak grin, deciding not to take the situation too seriously, more for Johnny's sake than anything else. "You probably need to get more sleep."

Johnny just rubbed his forehead and looked longingly at Dally's cigarette. Dally offered it to him.

With some hesitation, Johnny took it. He took one drag and handed it back.

They sat in silence for a few moments as Dally finished it off. "C'mon," he said, tossing the butt in a nearby puddle. "Let's go get some food, I'm starved."

They headed back to the house. Dally was suddenly glad to be out of the woods. He was cold and the drizzle was turning into actual rain. "Oh, and Wendy's right- no more horror movies for you."

Johnny was sulking. "It wasn't the movies. I told you you'd think I was nuts."

Dally slung his arm around Johnny's shoulders. "And I told you it was too late for that! Look, kid, I believe you that you saw something. I just... I'm sure it wasn't a ghost. I don't think you need to worry, all right? It's nothing."

They walked quietly the rest of the way back to the house as thunder began to rumble ominously in the distance.

**Thanks to all my reviewers!**

**JamesDeanismygod-** Hope you learned what you wanted to know about the cemetery! As you may have guessed, there's more to it than what's just been told!

**Bobo-** You're back! Or I guess I'm back. Finally. Thanks for sticking with my story!

**streetpanther-** I love Dally too! So glad you're enjoying the story. I really appreciate the reviews!

**Sarah126-** Ah, Germany! I have never been, but my husband visited your country a few years ago. He said it was beautiful. He really loved the Black Forest. I made him bring me back Steiff stuffed animals! Anyhow, thank you so much for the review!

**pirategirl-** Thanks for reading! I'm so glad you liked it. 


	22. Beginning to Wonder

They climbed up the back steps and went into the kitchen where Wendy was just starting to set food out on the table. "Oh! You're just in time! Johnny, why don't you go ring the bell and let Tom and Will know that it's time to eat."

Johnny nodded and went outside to where a large cast iron bell hung on top of a tall white pole with a rope hanging down. It could be heard clearly at the barn and probably, Johnny cringed as he pulled the rope, a few miles into town.

Dally picked up a piece of bread and narrowly missed having his hand slapped.

Having decided not to beat around the bush, and making sure that Johnny was still outside, Dally turned to Wendy and said, "We found an old cemetery in the woods."

He was, to say the least, surprised by her reaction. She stopped dead in her tracks. Her eyes got a glazed look, she went completely white and nearly dropped the plate of vegetables she was carrying. Then, as quickly as the expression had come over her, it was gone and replaced with one of saddness.

She continued towards the table with the plate as though she had completely forgotten that she had even had a reaction at all to what Dally had said. "Yes, that's the family cemetery." She turned to him, her voice low. "Emily is buried there. She was Will's wife. She died so young... They'd only been married a few years! Tragic..." she shook her head as she moved around the kitchen getting the table ready. Carrying a pitcher of lemonade, she stopped and patted Dally's cheek. "Be a dear and don't talk too much about it. Will has never really gotten over her."

Johnny came in from the back yard.

"You two go wash up, you're filthy!" Wendy said good naturedly too them.

Dally thought about the brief conversation he'd just had. He noticed that Wendy didn't mention anything about anyone else that was buried in the cemetery and he was most curious about the small grave stone he'd seen. He decided not to question her about it. At least not right now.

In compliance with Wendy's request, Dally didn't say a word at dinner about what he and Johnny had found. And, not surprisingly, neither did Johnny. In fact, he was unusually quiet during the meal and for the rest of the day.

Johnny and Dally called the Curtis' later during the evening. Steve and Two-Bit were there too. They were all surprised to hear Dally's voice on the other end of the line. Dally was surprised that Ponyboy had actually kept his mouth shut.

Johnny was happy that Dally was there to do most of the talking. He just wasn't feeling up to it.

That night, Johnny lay in bed listening nervously to the rain outside his window. Coal was up on his bed, his head in Johnny's lap.

Dally knocked softly and poked his head in the doorway.

"Hey," Johnny greeted him.

"Hey." Dally came inside and strolled over to the window, his hands in his pockets. "You uh... doin' ok?"

Johnny nodded. "Yeah. I'm all right."

Dally sat down on the edge of the bed and reached across Johnny to pat Coal on the head. "Well, I just wanted to tell you that if you need anything, you can wake me up, all right?"

"Thanks, Dal."

"I mean it- I don't care what time it is, got it?"

Johnny looked gratefully at him. "OK."

"I, uh... found out who Emily was," Dally stated hesitantly, testing the waters to see if Johnny would be up for talking about their earlier adventure.

Johnny raised his eyebrows. "You did?"

"Yeah, I guess your uncle Will was married a while ago to her, but she died. She was young."

"Huh."

"Wendy asked me not to talk about it in front of Will. I guess he's still pretty upset."

"Oh," was all Johnny replied.

Dally wanted to talk more about it, but he could tell that Johnny was still a little shaken up about the whole thing and wasn't really up for it. And he wasn't sure it was a good idea to bring it up right before Johnny went to sleep, so he changed the subject. "So, they doing anything special tomorrow at school for Halloween?"

Johnny shrugged. "Not really. Some kids are wearing costumes, I guess."

Dally raised his eyebrows. "Are you?"

Johnny looked at him like he was crazy. "No!"

Dally grinned at him. "You goin' trick-or-treating?"

"No! Geez, Dal! I ain't 5!"

"OK. Good. I was afraid you might be getting soft, bein' here so long and all... turning into some country kid."

"No, I ain't gettin' soft."

Dally grinned at him. "Except for Caroline!" he sang, batting his eyelashes.

Johnny rolled his eyes and laid back in his bed.

"When do I get to meet her? Huh?"

Johnny covered his head with his pillow. "Never," he said, his voice muffled.

"Come on! Has she got a sister? I think she's kinda cute."

Johnny started laughing underneath his pillow.

"Maybe there will be some unfortunate accident and I'll have to take Caroline out myself!" Dally said pushing the pillow down playfully over Johnny's face, pretending to smother him. "Face it, kid. I'm gonna meet her eventually. One way or another."

Coal grabbed Dally's arm in his mouth, growling playfully, his tail wagging.

Johnny let out a muffled yell and kicked at Dally. "Kill him, Coal!"

Dally laughed. He stood up, pulled the pillow off Johnny and tossed it to him.

Johnny grabbed it and swung it at him as hard as he could.

Dally dodged the blow and reached over and ruffled Johnny's hair. "Good night, kid. Don't forget, if you need anything, just wake me up." Dally headed for the door.

"Dal?"

"Yeah, kid?"

Johnny grinned at him and Dally couldn't remember a time that he'd ever seen such contentment in Johnny's eyes. "Thanks for comin' out here."

Dally shook his head and flicked off the lights. "Go to sleep."

Back in his own room, Dally pulled some of the photo albums down off the shelves. He sat down on the edge of his bed and flipped through the books, looking breifly at some of the pictures. He was starting to get the feeling that there were a lot of things Johnny didn't know about his past. Having lived so far from the family for so long, it only made sense. But there was something more... Dally just couldn't quite put his finger on it.

And what had Johnny really seen? Could it have been a ghost? No, Dally thought. Or maybe...

The rusted wheels of his imagination began to turn, suddenly, as though it had not been used in some time. And it hadn't... back home he had no need for imagination. He didn't have time for it. Everything was black and white, cut and dry. But here things were different, slower. He had time to think. He wasn't having to watch out for Johnny or Ponyboy. He wasn't wondering where his next meal would come from. And now he was beginning to entertain the possibility that perhaps Johnny had seen a ghost. Maybe it was Emily!

Dally shook his head and rubbed his eyes. Oh, man. I have to get some sleep. This is crazy, he thought. He had only been here for two days but he was more tired than he'd been in a long time. He turned another page in the album he was holding and suddenly, his insides turned to ice.

There in the middle of the album page was a loose photo of a child that looked almost exactly like Johnny. Only it wasn't Johnny. And something about the photo made a shiver run down his spine. He had a sneaking suspicion that this was the person buried in the small grave in the woods.

**To the reviewers:  
**

Locket the Lookout: There's definitely some secrets being kept here. Thanks for the review!

streetpanther: I wish I could answer your question for you! I will very soon. I have to follow the plan! Thanks so much for reading.

WhatGraceHasGiven: Thanks so much for reading! I'm so glad you like the story. I think you will enjoy the rest!

kimmerkay: Thanks so much for the reviews! It means a lot to me!

Sarah126: You will find out soon! Thanks for reading!

JamesDeanismyGod: Everything will be explained in due time... I hope everyone can stick with me! Thanks so much for all your reviews! I appreciate it!


	23. Questions

Over the next few days, Johnny went off to school and Dally helped Will and Tom around the stables.

"You really know your stuff around the horses, Dallas!" Tom said one day as he and Dally walked out of the barn. It was early afternoon and they'd worked for several hours.

"Yeah, I did a little work in some stables back home." Dally replied. He was surprised at how good he actually felt. He had really enjoyed being around the horses and working outside.

Tom seemed genuinely impressed. "It really shows! You were a big help today."

Dally just nodded. He wasn't used to being appreciated by an adult and he wasn't much for talking about himself to people he didn't know well. But he had decided he sort of liked Tom. He was easy going and relaxed. Being married into the Cade family, he kind of stood out visually. He was rather tall with a sort of stocky, muscular build. He had sandy blonde hair and green eyes. Wendy, Will, Matt and Johnny all looked the same. Wendy was a dead-ringger for Jackie Kennedy, and Dally had joked with Johnny about this before. Wendy said she got that a lot from people. Matt definitely took after his mom and there was no doubt that Wendy and Will were siblings Small builds, dark hair, and big eyes. Johnny's eyes were much darker than everyone else's, he'd inherited that from his own mother. But there was something about the facial features that he'd obiously pulled from this side of the family. But Tom just stuck out like a sore thumb.

And maybe that was why Dally felt that out of everyone, Tom was the one he could talk to about the unanswered questions that had begun to surface in his mind. He didn't seem as...connected to it all, even though he was.

Dally thought for a moment about all the things he wanted to ask. Who was Emily? Who was the kid in the photo? What was Grandma Cade's first husband like? He didn't know why he cared, but something about it just nagged at him. He didn't feel like he coud jump right into that conversation so he started a bit more vauguely.

"So... how did you guys decide to get into this business anyhow?"

"What, the horses?" Tom asked as he sat down on a bale of hay and picked up the Coke he'd been drinking. "Oh, this came with the marriage," he laughed. "I was supposed to be an electrician!"

Dally looked at him startled.

Tom laughed again. "This is a lot more fun, let me tell you."

"So," Dally continued, still treading lightly. "This farm was Wendy's?"

"Well, it was Grandma Cade's farm- Her first husband bred horses for the racing. When he passed on and she remarried, she and Grandpa Cade ran the place. He was Wendy and Will's dad."

"But you guys don't breed horses any more, do you?"

"Nope. We just board them for people. And we do riding lessons in 10 week intervals. Another group is due to start on Monday afternoon. You planning to stick around? We can always use more help with that!"

Dally was distracted by the momentary change of subject. "Huh? Oh, I don't know... Why'd ya stop breeding the horses? There had to be a lot of dough in that business."

Tom took another drink of his soda and looked thoughtful. "A lot of dough and a lot of dead horses."

"Huh?"

Tom shook his head. "When Grandpa and Grandma Cade took over, they found out what happened to all the horses old Charles Hamilton had sold. When they weren't making the big bucks anymore, most of the owners would put 'em in the ground and go buy another one. They got out of that business real quick. They contacted any of the men they thought might still have one of their horses and offered to buy them back when they were through. Put both of them in the hole for a little while money wise, but things worked out. God provides, you know?"

Dally looked at the ground. He had almost forgotten the point of his conversation

"Boy, that first husband of hers... " Tom said absently, staring off towards the house.

Dally started to formulate a more specific question, something that would bring him some answers about the people buried in the family cemetery. But just as he was about to open his mouth, he was interrupted by Will who was just coming out of the barn.

"Boy howdy, kid! You sure were a help today!" Will slapped Dally on the back good naturedly.

Dally hid his disappointment. He certainly wasn't going to ask Tom anything in front of Will. He didn't want to start asking too many personal quesions and upset people before finding out what he wanted to know.

And it wasn't just that he needed information, he realized suddenly. He truly _didn't_ want to upset these people. There was something about them that he respected. Most likely the fact that they had been so kind to Johnny. He could see what a good life they were ready and willing to give him. And it wasn't just Tom that he liked. He liked _all_ of them. Even Grandma Cade had started to grow on him. In fact, out of all of them, she was the one who fascinated Dally the most. She reminded him of Darry- strict and to the point. She didn't say much unless she needed to. She'd been through something very difficult, but her first priority was not herself, but her family. She was very watchful over all of them. And even after only a few days, Dally felt that she had in some ways almost accepted him into her close knit circle. Strangely enough, it was the constant battles he had with her that made him feel accepted.

Grandma Cade would get after Dally every day about the fact that he didn't go to school. He would just shrug and tell her he thought school was dumb.

"You know what's dumb?" she would ask. "People who don't go to school!" She never minced words.

He couldn't figure her out. She could call him dumb, and it didn't make him mad. Part of it was that somehow, he knew she didn't really think he was dumb. And the other part of it was he almost liked it when she would bug him about school.

There was also a strength about her that he admired. The two of them would butt heads on all kinds of issues and she could really hold her own. He liked to watch Johnny cringe when he and Grandma Cade got into one of their "discussions". Of course, Dally never really got into real arguments with her the way he could with other people. Their most popular battles (besides those about school) were the ones about church. He had skipped out on church that first Sunday he'd been there and she was determined that he would go the next Sunday.

"God is everywhere, Dallas. He's with you every day. He cares about you! Can you not at least give him one hour of your time on Sunday?"

"If he's everywhere, can't he just hang out with me on the front porch and read the comics on Sunday while you all are at church?"

Usually, she would give in to his stubbornness and leave him alone. But sometimes, more times than Dally would admit, she would leave him thinking about what she said and she knew it.

Perhaps, he thought as he remembered his growing "relationship" with Johnny's grandmother, Tom was not the one he should be questioning.


	24. Friday Night

Friday night Will offered to take Dally, Johnny and Caroline out for ice cream. Dally jumped at the chance, not so much for the ice cream, but for the chance to meet this mysterious beauty that had set her sights on Johnny. Johnny had been very careful about keeping the two from meeting, which indicated to Dally that he really liked this girl. Johnny was so shy about stuff like that.

When Will mentioned bringing Caroline, Johnny came up with one excuse after another until Will picked up the phone.

Johnny's eyes widened and he lunged at Will. "No!" he cried.

But Dally held him back. "Oh no you don't! I'm gonna meet this lady friend of yours and there's nothing you can do to stop it!"

Johnny was laughing, but really struggling against Dally's hold as Will dialed the phone. "NO!" he kept yelling. Coal bit at Johnny's pant legs and Dally's arms, barking wildly, tail wagging.

"Hello, Caroline?... Oh, could I speak with her? This is Will Cade from down the road."

Johnny had stopped yelling, but he was still laughing and struggling.

Dally was starting to laugh now too and his grip was slipping.

"Caroline? Hey, it's Will Cade."

Johnny finally went limp with defeat. Coal waited impatiently for more squirming and barked expectantly when Johnny just lay there.

"Yes, Johnny and Dally and I are going out for ice cream, would you like to come? My treat! You would? Great! We'll pick you up in five minutes." He looked over at Johnny- his hair was a mess from struggling with Dally and his face was still beet red.

"Make that ten. Ok, bye."

Johnny felt Dally's hold on him loosen and he twisted around and belted Dally playfully in the arm.

"OW!" Dally yelled and put Johnny in a head lock. The two got laughing again and Will came over to break them up.

"All right! Johnny go make yourself presentable. Come on people, let's move! Sis!" he yelled. "Borrowing the car!"

Ten minutes later, the three of them all piled into Tom and Wendy's car, since the Corvette only had two seats. Johnny was silent on the way over to pick up Caroline. He and Dally were sitting in the back seat. Occasionally, Dally would look over at Johnny, grinning and Johnny would just look out the window.

"So, _does_ she have a sister?"

"No."

"A cousin?"

"No."

"What about a friend? She must have some friends. Any good lookin' ones? Huh?"

"Dallas!" Will laughed from the front seat. "Down, boy! We'll find you a girl. Wait your turn!"

That got a laugh out of Johnny, but he truned silent again as they pulled into Caroline's driveway.

Caroline was waiting on the front steps in a blue skirt and a white blouse, her hair again pulled back in a ponytail.

Dally hopped out before the car stopped moving and headed for the front passenger side.

Johnny got out too and waved shyly at Caroline. "Hi," he said softly.

"Hi, Johnny!" she said smiling. She looked at Dally and then back at Johnny again.

"Oh.. uh.. this is my buddy I was telling you about from Tulsa- Dallas. You can call him Dally,"  
Johnny said shifting his weight uncomfortably from one foot to another.

"You can call me...enchanted," Dally said and took Caroline's hand and kissed it lightly.

Caroline reddened and giggled. "Nice to meet you. I've heard nice things about you."

"Really?" Dally sounded truly stunned and almost disappointed.

Caroline just giggled again and nodded.

Johnny shut his eyes and groaned inwardly as he opened up the car door for her.

They drove to a Dairy Queen in town and ordered hot fudge sundaes. Dally noticed how Will tried to keep him engaged in random conversations so that Johnny would have some time to talk to Caroline. Will would ramble on to Dally about this or that and occasionally, when he noticed a prolonged silence between the two kids, he would turn and start telling some crazy story that made them both laugh. Dally was impressed. He looked so much like Johnny, but he never shut his mouth. He seemed to really know what he was doing, though. By the time they finished up their ice cream, Johnny and Caroline were looking pretty comfortable. They were still both quiet as mice, but they seemed to be having a good time.

"So," Will said, tossing his empty sundae cup into a trashcan. "Anybody up for a card game tonight?"

"Sure," Johnny said. "You wanna come over?" he asked turning to Caroline.

She smiled sweetly at him. "I'd like that. I just have to stop home and let my parents know how late I'll be."

"No problem! We'll stop by your house on the way back," Will said taking the car keys out of his pocket.

Dally watched the way Johnny and Caroline interacted with eachother. Johnny had never had a girlfriend, but Dally had seen girls hanging on him at bars and other local hangouts back inTulsa. He had never had a good feeling about any girl that had showed interest in Johnny... until now. He felt completely relieved.

It would make it that much easier for him to return to Tulsa when it was time to go. Little did he realize how fast that time was approaching.


	25. The Phone Call

They were about an hour into the card game. Dally and Will were losing miserably at Canasta to Johnny and Caroline. That was when the phone rang.

Only Dally heard Tom pick it up and say, "Oh, hello Soda! Would you like to talk to Johnny?... Oh, Dally? Yes, he's here. Just a minute."

Dally found this mildly interesting that any of the gang would be asking to talk to him before Johnny. Johnny hadn't noticed. He and Caroline were busy planning their next strategy.

"Come on, you two! No planning! You shouldn't even be talking to eachother!" Will practically whined.

Johnny just laughed. He looked up briefly as he noticed Dally going to take the phone. He frowned slightly, knowing it could only be one of the gang. He was surprised when he felt somewhat insulted as he, too, wondered why Dally had been asked for first. But he lost interest quickly and turned his attention back to Caroline.

Dally stepped into the kitchen and put the phone up to his ear. "Yeah?"

"Dally..."

Dally could tell immediately that something was horribly wrong the minute he heard Soda's voice. He quietly stepped further into the other room. "What's goin' on?"

"It's Pony..." Soda blurted out frantically. "He..he's gone!"

"What do you mean, gone?"

"He and Darry had a fight- a big one- Darry didn't mean to- he...he" Soda was talking too fast and sucking in air like he was panicing.

"Soda, calm down... what happened?" Dally tried his best to keep his voice down. Soda sounded like he was holding back tears.

"Darry... hit him... he didn't mean to, I know he didn't, but Pony ran off and he hasn't been back since yesterday."

"He was gone overnight?"

"Yeah...well, he ran off last night and he hasn't come back yet. We can't call the police and even if we did, it hasn't been 24 hours and-"

"All right, all right- calm down. How long has he been gone?"

There was a pause. "Since about 2 a.m. last night... and I know it ain't that late yet, but it's dark and I-"

"Yeah, I know, I know...Ok, look, I was planning on coming home next week sometime anyow for his track meet. I'll take the next train out of here and I'll be there as soon as I can."

There was silence on the other end.

"Relax, man. It's gonna be all right." Dally tried to sound reassuring. "He's hidin' out somewhere to cool off. He'll come back."

Soda took a shaky breath. "Yeah."

"Soda, I'll be there as soon as I can. Find some of the boys from Shepard's outfit.. let them know. Make sure everybody's lookin' for him."

"Oh, they know all right." Soda said, sounding almost angry all of a sudden.

"What do you mean?"

"Curly and Pony been hangin' out all the time. Pony's been darn near flunking out of some of his classes cause Curly keeps talkin' him into cuttin' school! He came home at 2 in the morning last night and Darry just blew up! There won't be a track meet if this keeps up."

"Oh man... he's probably with Curly right now! Have you talked to any of the Shepards?"

"Yeah, he ain't with Curly. He and Curly weren't getting along. I think maybe Ponyboy had finally come to his senses that Curly was nothing but trouble. He'd come home from getting in a fight with him, but it was too late. Darry didn't want to hear any more. They were just yellin' at eachother and... and then..."

"Ok," Dally said calmly. "I'm comin' home. We'll find him. You'll probably find him before I get there. All right?"

"Yeah," Soda said shakily.

Dally hung up the phone and chewed at his lower lip. Damn! I just go from one problem to another, he thought. Although, Johnny seemed to be doing fine.

It's time for me to go home anyhow, Dally thought. I don't belong here. I need more action, I need the gang, the rumbles, the bars. Yeah, he told himself. I gotta get outta here. Part of him knew he was lying to himself.

"Everything all right, Dally?" Tom's voice interrupted his thoughts.

Dally looked at him, at first ready to say everything was fine, put up his usual front. But before he knew what had happened, a word had escaped his mouth. "No."

"No? What's wrong?"

Dally hesitated. He felt like he could tell Tom there was something wrong, but he didn't trust him enough yet to tell him what. "There's some... stuff... going on back home. I'm going to have to catch the first train out."

Tom got a glass of water from the sink and wrinkled his brow. "Anything I can help with?"

Dally stood defensively. "No," he said simply. He was not used to opening up to anyone, let alone an adult. He hoped he had not made a huge mistake. He could have said nothing was wrong and just left. That would have been the smart thing to do. What's wrong with me, he thought. Why didn't I just tell him everything was fine? Dally wathced Tom carefully, prepared for a barage of questions.

But to his surprise, Tom just nodded. "Ok. We'll get you to the train station as soon as you want to go. You want to call the station? Find out when you can catch the next train?"

Dally hid his surprise and nodded. He took the phone book that Tom offered.

As Tom turned to go, Dally stopped him. "Hey,"

Tom paused and turned back to Dally.

"Don't tell Johnny yet. I'll talk to him."

"You got it," Tom said simply.

"Hey Dally! What's the hold up?" Will yelled.

"Nothin'! I'll be there in a minute!" Dally called back.

"Want me to go play your hand? He doesn't stop nagging once he starts," Tom said with a slight smile.

Dally looked gratefully at him and nodded. He dialed the number for the train station, uneasiness forming in the pit of his stomach.


	26. Discovery

The card game broke up before Dally even got off the phone. They were all laughing and yelling... something about Will cheating.

Dally rubbed his forehead and leaned against the kitchen table.

"Hey!" Johnny yelped coming into the kitchen and seeing that Dally had hung up the phone. "How come nobody wanted to talk to me?"

Dally looked at him with tired amusement. "How do you know it was somebody that would want to talk to you?"

Johnny rolled his eyes. "Well, who else would it be?"

"College recruiters. They found out I was here and they really want me at their school."

Johnny almost doubled over laughing. "Yeah, right!" He turned to Tom. "Hey, I'm gonna walk Caroline home, ok? I'll probably stop in and say 'hi' to her folks too."

"All right, be home by 11. Good night, Caroline." Tom waved as he came back into the kitchen.

"See ya, Dal." Johnny called.

"It was nice to meet you," Caroline said quietly, giving Dally a small wave.

Dally nodded to her. He watched the two kids heading for the door. He knew he should have been in the other room ribbing Johnny, trying to follow them out the door, tag along, just to be annoying. For crying out loud, Dally thought. Say 'hi' to her folks? He was already buddying up to the girls parents? Had Dally's head not been swimming with other thoughts, he might have had a lot of fun with that.

He could see Johnny through the window as he left. He was so... different. So full of life now. It would be ok to leave him here. He would be all right, Dally decided. Part of him was relieved to realize this, but part of him just felt empty again, like when Johnny had left Tulsa weeks ago.

"So what's the word, Dallas?" Tom asked.

Dally looked up tiredly. "Huh? Oh, uh... I'm gonna be takin' off early. The train leaves at 5 a.m."

Dally had intended to walk and just hop the train, same way he'd arrived.

But without batting an eye, Tom just nodded and said, "OK, I'll be ready."

"What?"

"I'll be ready," Tom repeated. "You know, to drive you to the train station."

"Good night, everybody!" Will yelled from the other room.

"'Night Will!" Tom replied, glancing over his shoulder. Then he turned back to Dally.

Dally was looking at him in surprise. "Uh.. you don't have to. I was gonna walk."

Tom laughed. "Dallas, it's almost ten miles away! You're not walking." he stepped closer to him and put a hand on Dally's shoulder.

Dally tensed slightly, but didn't pull back.

"And you're not going to be a stow away, either."

Dally put on his 'who's gonna stop me' face and narrowed his eyes. "I ain't got the cash." Then a thought crossed his mind. "And I don't need your charity!"

Tom just shook his head. "You worked almost a 40 hour week in the stables. It's not charity, kid. I think you've earned a ticket home. Have you ever ridden on a train? The legal way?"

"No."

"Well, you're in for a real treat! Now, you better get on upstairs and get some sleep. We got an early start tomorrow!"

Dally hid his amazement and watched Tom leave the room. Then he hedaed upstairs himself. He sat down on the edge of his bed. I'll just pack up and leave, he thought. Let him try to buy me a ticket... givin' me charity...

But then, he had put in a lot of hours at the stables. And part of him was really curious about riding the train- the legal way. He laid back on the bed.

Then he began to think...Maybe if he had to ride to the train station with Tom, he could get some answers about the family history. He could find out about Emily and Christopher and learn about this first husband of Gandma Cade. There was something strange about all of it. Something was still eating at him... putting up red flags in the back of his mind.

He stopped himself for a moment. I should be worryin' about Ponyboy right now, he thought. Stupid kid...But what could he do from here? No, worrying about Ponyboy was not going to be productive. He only had a few hours left here and there was something strange going on. He needed to find out what before he had to leave.

Dally sat up then, his interest in the Cade family history renewed. He stared at all the photo albums on the bookshelves. He knew that at least some of the answers to his questions could be found in the pages of those books. There was something in one of them that had seemed odd to him. Something Johnny had shown him or told him the night they'd looked throgh the albums. But he'd been so tired that night, and then the thunderstorm... it was like pieces of a puzzle had fallen into his mind, but he'd been too groggy to put them together. And now he wanted to try again. He stood up and walked over to the shelf and pulled down some of the albums. He found the picture of the little boy that looked somewhat like Johnny. There had to be something else. More pictures, something! He was going to figure out who this kid was. He fumbled around on the book shelf, looking a little more carefully, nosing around a little further than would be considered polite in someone else's house.

Tucked behind some smaller books on the very bottom shelf, he found something. An old newspaper was wedged tightly between the shelf and the wall as though it had slipped down from another shelf. Dally pulled it out carefully and looked through it. On the second page, an image caught his eye. There was the boy again, next to a headline that read "Child Drowns in River". A shudder went up Dally's spine. He read a little of the article. Enough to catch a phrase indicating that the death had been "suspicious". And enough to find out that the child, had he lived, would have been the older brother of Johnny Cade.


	27. Secrets of the Past

Dally put the paper down, trying to let this new information sink in. He laid back on the bed, his head spinning. Darry and Ponyboy had gotten in a huge fight. Ponyboy was missing and Dally was hundreds of miles away. Johnny had a brother that he'd never met and no one had bothered to tell him about. Now Dally had to break all this to Johnny and take off for Tulsa before the sun came up. Dally sat back up, stared at the picture and chewed on his lip. This wasn't going to be fun. He was glad that Johnny had stepped out for the moment to walk Caroline home so he could have a little more time to think.

And something was still bothering him. As if this new information wasn't enough, he had a nagging feeling that this was just the tip of the iceburg.

It hadn't been the kid's picture that had puzzled him before. It had been something else. He just wished he could remember what. What pictures had Johnny been showing him that night? What had he seen that had put questions in his head?

Dally put the photo album down on the edge of the bed. When he shifted his weight to turn and pick up a different book, the one he'd been looking at before fell off the mattress and onto the floor. Dally stared down at it. A portrait of Grandpa Cade stared back at him. Dark hair, soft, gentle eyes... just like Wendy's and Will's and...

And then it all clicked. It wasn't about Christopher. It wasn't about Emily. They, he was sure, were significant pieces of the puzzle that was trying to put itself together in his mind. But the major piece was Grandpa Cade.

He picked the book up, closed it and walked over and put it back slowly on the shelf. He pulled another book down and flipped through it, then another. They all told him the same thing. He stood in the middle of the room for a moment pondering the idea brewing in his mind. He wasn't sure what to think and he was even less certain of what to do about what he was thinking. But in time, as the thoughts began to settle, he felt anger building inside. He decided to handle this as he would have handled any situation- head on. He had to talk to Johnny.

He looked up suddenly, feeling eyes on him. Grandma Cade was standing in the doorway. Their eyes met.

Dally's eyes were blazing. Hers were as calm as a lake.

"It appears we need to have a talk, Dallas," she said calmly, but with a slight note of concern.

Dally closed the album he was looking at and glared at her. "Yeah. I need to have a talk. But not with you."

He headed for the doorway, but she blocked his path.

"Dallas, I ask that you allow me to discuss this with you before you do anything that you'll regret."

Dally swore at her and threw the album he was holding on the floor. She didn't flinch.

"Dallas, there is so much more you don't know..."

"I know all I need to know! Your first husband, this Charles Hamilton guy... Johnny's father's father? Johnny doesn't look anything like him!" Dally said grabbing the photo album off the shelf and flipping to the page he'd seen earlier.

Grandma Cade just watched him, unmoving.

"Funny thing is," Dally continued, thrusting the open album into Grandma Cade's hands, "he's the spittin' image of your second husband. How'd that happen?"


	28. Confession

They looked at eachother for a moment. Both of them dead set in their stubborness, both of them forces to be reckoned with. And both of them trying to protect the same person from two different sides.

"Robert Cade is not Johnny's father, is he?"

Grandma Cade's expression did not change. "No, Dallas, I don't belive he is."

"_Who_ is?" Dally asked, his jaw set in determination, his tone leaving no question that he meant business.

Grandma Cade was unshaken. She sighed and stepped into the room.

Dally watched her turn a few pages of the photo album on the bed.

"This may be difficult, but you must keep this to yourself for the time being, Dallas."

"Are you kidding? No way! Either you tell Johnny right now, or I will!" he threatened.

"There is too much you do not yet understand," she said, looking at him with her peircing blue eyes. Grandma Cade could be just as demanding as Dally and somehow, twice as convincing, even in the midst of her calm demeanor. The woman had been through a lot. Dally didn't know how he knew this, he could just sense it, as though she were in someways a kindred spirit to him. She had been to hell and back and come out swinging. She had a strength about her that he respected, and a quiet sense of mystery. And Dally knew she loved Johnny. Somewhere inside he knew that whatever reason she had for keeping this a secret, it must be a good one.

But he wanted her to know how angry he was at her. He wanted her to know that he cared about Johnny too and he wasn't going to stand by while she kept secrets from him.

"I don't really give a damn about what I don't understand! I will tell him."

"I don't doubt that. But you should know the rest of the story before you make that decision." Grandma Cade continued calmly as she sat down on a chair beside the fireplace.

"Sit down, Dallas," she invited, motioning to the arm chair across from her.

Dally just glared at her.

"Very well." she said, unmoved by his visible anger. "Your legs are about to get very tired."

Dally continued to glare at her as he slumpped into the arm chair. "This better be good."

"As you are already aware, Charles Hamilton was my first husband. I married young and foolishly... for reasons that..." she hesitated and her face reddened slightly. "... reasons I would rather not discuss, but I feel there is no way for you to fully comprehend the gravity of this situation with out all details. Charles and I began seeing eachother when I was in my late teen years. At first things were fine, but after a short time, I began to realize he was not the person I thought him to be. Over time I came to realize he was nothing short of brutal, vicious."

Just like Johnny's father, Dally thought. The family link is pretty clear up to this point...

"I tried to stop seeing him, but he wouldn't have it. One night, things... spun out of control. Robert Hamilton Cade, the man Johnny knows as his father, was the child of...rape. I will not mince words. I agreed to marry Charles when I discovered I was carrying his child. I thought he would change... I thought-" she waved her hand as though she had gotten off topic. "That is of no consequence now. Robert was born and things remained the same. Or got worse. I was preparing to leave Charles, but our salvation came the day that he went to war and never returned home. But for Robert, it was too late. Or perhaps, being the child of a monster, he never had a chance. Charles was horribly abusive to him, but I blame myself in some ways for how Robert turned out. In the back of my mind, I always saw him as a manefestation of Charles' violence. I loved the child, make no mistake about that. But perhaps he could sense my other feelings. I don't know."

Dally was a little surprised to hear Grandma Cade talk that way about her own kid, even if he was a complete waste of air. So... Johnny's father had been that kind of person all his life, Dally thought. Johnny never had a chance.

"I tried everything, but he was a very angry child. He was as vicious as his father had been. And then I met Michael Cade. To spare you unncecessary details, we met, fell in love and married. Robert hated him. And me. But there was never a day when Michael was unkind to him. Then the other children were born. Wendy and then William. There was always a bit of rivalry between the children, particularly between Robert and Will. As they grew, it intensified.

"Then Robert met Maria. She was a stunning woman. Timid, but kind. The type of woman who would unfortunately be drawn to someone like Robert."

Dally was really surprised to hear anyone refer to Johnny's mother as stunning. To him she was an ugly, hateful hag.

"They moved into the carriage house, much against Michael's and my wishes as they were unmarried at the time. Robert of course treated her poorly. That's putting it mildly. Within a year, Maria was pregnant. They married before the child was born. Around this time, Wendy gave birth to Matthew. Maria had little interest in her own child when he was finally born and it was Wendy who practically raised the boy- and Matthew at the same time. It was 5 years before Robert discovred that Maria's wasn't his. Maria told him in a heated arguement. And then told everyone else."

Grandma Cade watched Dally closely to see if he was putting anything together yet.

Dally thought carefully for a moment. His anger began to disapate as the gravity of the situation began to sink in. "Was it Christopher? The boy that drowned in the river?"

"It was. Christopher... The boy that drowned in the river." Grandma Cade's voice became so sad that Dally thought she might cry. But she didn't. She mustered her composure and prepared to continue with the story.

"It wasn't an accident, was it?" Dally asked, suddenly growing more concerned than angry.

She looked at him with haunted eyes. "I don't believe it was. But there was no evidence proving otherwise. Maria was terribly upset. But the person the most devastated by it was Wendy. She loved that child. Felt sorry for him, I imagine. And she knew as well as everyone else it was no accident. And this nearly killed her. She had to see a doctor, she got so sick over it. And now she has pretty much blocked it from her memory. If she allowed herself to think about things more, she'd have figured this out long ago. But she doesn't. She was just so scared when Johnny came along... she didn't want this to happen to another child Fortunately, Matthew was too young to understand all of what went on."

Dally was silent for a moment. Then he voice the concern that was forming in th epit of his stomach. "This could happen to Johnny... if anyone finds out he's not Robert's kid..."

"I believe it could. Dallas, I know that you have believed from the day you met me that I do not care for Johnny. Please let me assure you that nothing could be further from the truth. If I thought I could have brought him here and kept him safe on the day he was born, I'd have gone to Tulsa and kidnapped him myself. But in the back of my mind, I knew that bringing him here could cost him his life. Even now, I was very much opposed to Wendy and Matthew coaxing him here. He is not legally an adult. We have no legal rights to him, we have no legal recourse if Robert comes for him!"

Dally looked at her for a long time. He was ready now to tell her what he thought. He had little doubt left that he was wrong about this. "He's Will's, isn't he?"

Grandma Cade nodded. "When Christopher was killed, Maria turned to Will. I knew no good would come of that. I told Will as much, but he was young... he just wouldn't listen. Well, When Robert discovered that Maria was getting close to Will, he nearly killed Will and Maria both. He packed up his things and dragged Maria off to Tulsa. About nine months later, Johnny was born."

"And Robert doesn't know that Johnny's not his?"

"From what I have heard, I doubt he even cares enough to wonder. I think there has been nothing to make him belive otherwise. Or, if he does know, he is content as long as he believes he is the only one who is aware of it. My concern right now is that if Robert finds out where he is, he will come after him. Johnny is 16. Robert has legal right to take him."

"Not if his mother fesses up!"

"And what would happen in the mean time? While the states fill out all their necessary paper work?"

Dally felt his stomach turn. "But why would he bother coming after Johnny? You said yourself, he doesn't care! I've seen him! He doesn't give a hang about that kid except to take out his frustrations on him."

"You do not understand the extent of his anger, Dallas."

Dally's eyebrows shot up. "_I_ don't understand the extent of his anger?" his voice rising again. "Do you _know_ what went on in that house? Do you know what I've seen?"

"You have not seen him kill a child. He has more anger in him than you realize. He has something worse than anger- he has a need for vengence. I pray that I am wrong, but I truly feel that if he finds out Johnny is here, we will have a problem. If he finds out that Johnny isn't his, we will have a bigger problem."

Dally closed his eyes and rested his head in his hands. "You're the only one that knows this, aren't you?"

Grandma Cade looked thoughtful for a moment. "I believe I am. It's something I've always been quite certain of, but I have no more proof that this is true than you do right now. Wendy will not remember the past, so she has little way of making the connection. Will... oh Will... he's been so devastated by Emily's death that he just doesn't see what's staring him right in the face. Not that he'd notice anyway. He was always a bit scatterbrained... not that he isn't smart, he's very intelligent-"

"But he doesn't use his head, " Dally finished for her.

"Exactly."

Dally shook his head and looked at the floor.

Grandma Cade waited, then asked. "I trust you now understand why I have not told all of this to Johnny?"

"I guess. But I don't like it. And I still think you should tell him."

Grandma Cade nodded. "I had planned to. I was hoping he would have adjusted a little more quickly to living here, but he was so sad for such a long time. Until you came..."

"Yeah, well, I guess he's ok now."

"Yes. He seems much better. Perhaps I should bring up the matter with him soon."

"Yeah," Dally said quietly.

"You seem somewhat... distracted, Dallas. Is there something else on your mind?"

"I have to go home tomorrow."

"Home? So soon?"

"Some...stuff came up... But I guess this will be good since then I can see what's going on with his parents, you know, see if they got wise to any of this." Dally looked at her, and then to lighten the mood a bit he added, "Guess I'm gonna haveta miss church again. God might be everywhere in Virginia, but He sure ain't been around the back streets of Tulsa in a while."

"I think you'd be very surprised to learn where God is, Dallas. And what He sees."

Dally looked doubtfully at her. She returned his gaze with one of conviction.


	29. Leaving in the Morning

Dally was laying in bed when he heard Johnny and Coal come in through the front door. He listened to them climb the stairs, Johnny's feet barely making a sound and Coal's toenails clipping softly on the hardwood. He heard the water running in the bathroom as Johnny brushed his teeth.

Dally closed his eyes for a few more minutes, not wanting to break the news to Johnny that he was leaving. Maybe I'll just go and not tell him, he thought. He seriously consiered it for a moment, but he knew it was a ridiculous idea. He could never do it.

Finally, he got up and walked across the hall to Johnny's room. He tapped softly on the door before entering.

Johnny was sitting up in bed. He had a pen in his hand and a book on his lap with a piece of paper on top of it. He looked up and grinned when he saw Dally.

"Hey, Dal! I didn't know you were still up!"

Dally ran his hand through his hair and yawned. "Yeah, just came in to see how your date went..." he said trying to grin slyly, but he had so much else on his mind...

Johnny laughed and looked down. "Fine," and then he changed the subject quickly. "I'm writing a letter to Ponyboy, you wanna add anything when I'm done?"

Dally sat down on the edge of Johnny's bed and rubbed his eyes. "Nah..."

"Hey, I was thinkin'," Johnny said, bouncing to yet another subject. "Tomorrow I'm gonna take you to the river! You gotta see it, it's so cool-" his eyes were dancing as he told Dally about the river. He was so happy and so eager to experience life. Dally couldn't believe the difference in him. Even if Dally had been blindfolded and couldn't see the kid's face he would have been able to simply hear the difference in his voice.

But when Johnny mentioned the river, Dally almost shuddered, remembering what Grandma Cade had told him about Christopher.

"Kid... uh," Dally cut in, knowing he had to tell him sooner or later. "I gotta... get back to Tulsa tomorrow."

Johnny just stopped and stared at him. "Huh?"

"I gotta go home."

"But... you just got here-" his eyes looked almost wounded.

"Something... came up." Dally hated the position he was in. He knew he probably shouldn't tell Johnny what was going on and get him all worried, but he didn't want him to think he was just leaving for no reason.

Johnny looked down.

"Hey, come on, kid... what?"

"I don't know... I just... I thought we were havin' fun! Why do you want to leave?"

"Johnny, yeah... I'm havin' a great time. Look, buddy, I'll be back to visit, I promise. I just have to go home right now.

"When are you going?"

"In the morning. Early."

"What time?"

Dally hesitated. "Probably just before 4."

"4:00? In the morning? Why the hell are you leaving at 4:00 in the morning?" Johnny's eyes got serious and his voice was quiet. "What's going on?"

Dally debated again whether or not to tell him. "Well," he stammered. "The train leaves at 5 and if I let your uncle Tom drive me, he's gonna try to buy my ticket and I don't need his damn charity-"

"Why are you leaving at 4:00 in the morning?" Johnny repeated, his jaw set stubbornly, sounding almost like a scolding parent.

Dally was caught somewhat off gaurd by his tone of voice and he looked at him in surprise. Then he sighed and nodded. He was alreday hiding enough from Johnny at this point and he didn't want to keep anymore secrets. "All right, fine... you wanna know? Ponyboy and Darry aren't getting along so well. They had a fight. Darry... hit him and Ponyboy ran off-"

"Ran off?"

"Yeah," Dally said hesitantly. "He ran off. I guess they've been looking for him all day."

"I'm coming with you." Johnny said descisively.

Dally's eyes shot up. "NO!" His stomach went cold. He thought of Johnny's "father" finding him...finding out where he'd been. He took Johnny by both shoulders, looking him directly in the eyes. "No! You are not going back there, you understand? Never!"

Johnny's eyes widened in surprise.

Dally caught himself and said, "You need to stay here. If Ponyboy calls, you're the only one he'll listen to. You got it? Look, he ain't even been gone 24 hours. He'll probably come home on his own, but even if he does, I aught to go back there and help them smooth things out. And I promised Ponyboy I'd be at his track meet next week anyhow."

Johnny nodded, still somewhat surprised by Dally's initial reaction.

"Can I at least go with you to the train station?"

Dally bit his lip. He was really serious about Johnny waiting for Pony's call. He didn't let on to Johnny how concerned he really was about the whole situation. "I don't know, kid. You really should see if Pony calls, all right?"

Johnny furrowed his brow in a slight scowl, but finally agreed to stay behind, for Ponyboy's sake.

Dally ruffled Johnny's hair affectionately and stood up. "Get some sleep, Johnnycake." He did not miss the fleeting look of fear on Johnny's face as he stood. He paused and then sat back down. "Whatsa matter kid?"

Johnny shook his head. "Nothin'," he said, putting on his best brave face.

Dally recognized it immediately. Johnny was afraid of the whole ghost thing happening again. Now he would be alone. Dally sighed. "Are you worried about what you saw the other day?"

Johnny didn't look at him, but he nodded.

Dally put his hand on Johnny's shoulder. "Hey, it's gonna be all right. You haven't seen anything in a week, right? Just don't think about it anymore. Think about cool stuff... you know, like the fact that a classy girl like Caroline has eyes for a greasy kid like you!"

Johnny managed a weak grin at that and Dally stood again.

"Dal," Johnny called after him worriedly.

"Hmm?"

"Will you wake me up before you go?"

Dally shook his head and grinned. "At 4?"

Johnny just looked sad and nodded.

"Yeah, kid. I'll wake you up." Dally's expressioned softened. "But I can't wake you up if you're not asleep," he said and playfully shoved Johnny so he layed down.

"Dal," Johnny said again, his voice full of worry.

"What now?" Dally asked in mock exasperation.

"Do you think... " Johnny couldn't quite get the words out.

As had become their method of communication, Dally read Johnny's expression and answered before Johnny was able to formulate a question. "Yeah." he said with absoloute conviction. "I think he's going to be fine. We'll find him. Now go to sleep, Johnnycake."


	30. Heading home

At 4 a.m. sharp Dally's alarm clock went off. With some effort, he pushed himself into a sitting position and stopped the alarm. He groaned at the pain radiating through his head. He hadn't had nearly enough sleep, and what little he had gotten had been riddled with nightmares. He kept seeing a boy drowning in a river, a hand holding him down... the boy had Johnny's face.

Dally rubbed his eyes tiredly. He was still shaken from the dreams, he was terribly worried about Ponyboy and he was keeping the biggest secret that he'd ever heard in his life from Johnny. Quietly, he got out of bed, threw on some clothes and headed into Johnny's room.

Coal lifted his head as Dally entered. His tail thumped and he gave Dally his friendly-dog look.

Dally rubbed Coal's ears as he looked over at Johnny sleeping. "You take care of him, you hear me?" he whispered.

Coal gave a soft woof.

"Hey," he said to the dog. "Go wake the kid up."

Coal tilted his head.

"Go on," Dally motioned. "Wake him up. Wake up Johnny!"

Coal grinned his dog-grin, tounge lolling out of the side of his mouth. He jumped up on Johnny's bed and started licking his face.

Dally laughed. Coal was still just a puppy, but he had grown and changed visibly in the week that Dally had been there. He was still shy around most people, but he had taken to Dally immediately. Dally was going to miss that dog.

Suddenly, Johnny sat up with a yelp. His eyes were wide with terror as he backed himself up against the headboard of the bed.

Coal sat back and hunched down, letting out a soft whimper as though he'd done something wrong.

"Johnny?" Dally said, his voice full of concern as he sat down on the edge of the bed. "Hey... what's wrong, kid?"

Johnny's breathing was ragged as he swallowed hard and closed his eyes. Slowly, his color began to come back and he let out his breath.

"Johnnycake?"

"I..I'm all right..." Johnny said weakly.

"Man, you don't look all right. Were you dreaming?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"What about?"

"I don't remember... something bad. I can't remember what." Johnny reached over and patted Coal's head. Coal finally appeared to relax. But Johnny still seemed very on edge.

Dally put his hand on Johnny's shoulder. "Geez, kid! You're shakin' like a leaf," he said as he took Johnny in both hands to steady him.

"I'm all right," Johnny repeated.

Dally was starting to have renewed concerns about leaving Johnny now.

"Johnny... what's botherin' you kid?" Dally persisted.

Johnny ran his hand through his hair. "I... I don't know... I'm worried about Ponyboy, I guess... and, I don't know..."

Dally waited. He could usually tell when Johnny was about to actually open up and tell him something, and now seemed to be one of those times. He didn't know how much he'd actually get out of him, but anything was better than the usual nothing.

"I guess... I guess I've been a little... freaked out since I got here. I don't know what it is... the house is a lot bigger than I'm used to...everything's so quiet. And, you know... all that other stuff I told you about already."

All that other stuff... Dally cringed inwardly. Yeah, he thought. The ghost of your brother who you don't even know about was killed by the man you only think is your father and he's haunting you in your dreams. And I know all about it. But I can't tell you...

"I just feel like... something bad's going to happen."

Something bad already did happen, Dally wanted to blurt out. But he didn't. "Johnny, nothin' bad is gonna happen."

Johnny looked at him, his big brown eyes seeming to calm somewhat . All right, they were saying, I guess I trust you. Dally could have killed himself right about then.

"You takin' off?" Johnny asked.

"Yep."

"You really gonna walk all that way?"

"Yeah."

Johnny shook his head. "C'mon, Uncle Tom offered to drive-"

"Don't give me that- I don't need your family givin' me money. Now listen, if Ponyboy calls, I want you to call Darry. You got that?"

Johnny nodded. "Yeah, I will."

"All right. Now why don't you go on back to sleep. I gotta get goin'."

Johnny nodded again. He looked really sad. Coal laid down next to him on the bed and whined, sensing Johnny's emotions. "Dally...thanks."

"For what?" Dally asked, genuinely surprised,

"For...coming all the way out here to see me. That was cool."

Dally shook his head. "You're crazy. Now stay outta trouble, you got that? I'll come back sometime and make sure."

"Promise?"

Dally grinned. "Yeah, Johnnycake, I promise."

Dally ruffled his hair and turned and headed out of the room before things got too emotional. There was already an ache starting to grow in his chest.

Johnny sat up in bed for a little while, petting Coal and listening to the wind. He said a silent prayer for Ponyboy. Then he went down the hall to wake up his uncle Tom.


	31. Train Station

Dally walked quickly along the quiet, dark street. He hoped he would make it to the train station in time. He had felt a little guilty leaving Johnny, but now all his attention was focused on getting home to help find the youngest member of the gang.

Stupid kid, Dally thought for the tenth time. Running off and not telling anybody where he was...

Dally had only walked about a quarter mile when the rain started. He grumbled slightly and flipped up the collar of his jacket.

He had walked almost a half mile when a Corvette pulled up beside him. His first instinct was to reach for his blade. All the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end as he tensed up and prepared to be surrounded by Socs. Dally scowled as Will pushed open the passenger side door.

"Get in." Will said.

"No." Dally said slamming the door shut and walking away.

Will rolled the window down and trailed along beside him slowly in the car. "C'mon, Dally-"

"I don't need your charity!" Dally shot back at him.

"Dally! We owe you! You did a full work load at the stables!"

Dally kept walking. "What are you doing here anyhow? How did you even know I was leaving?"

"Get in and I'll tell you."

Dally gave a rude reply.

Will watched him. He thought for a minute and realized that he was never going to convince Dally to get in the car for his own sake."You are never gonna make it in time," he said finally. "Your friends back home need you, now get in!"

Dally paused. Lightening lit the sky. He sighed finally and turned to look at Will. Wordlessly, he got in the car.

Will quietly let out his breath in relief.

"Johnny told you, didn't he?" Dally asked accusingly as they started driving. "Damn that kid-"

"C'mon, Dally."

"When? When the hell did he have time to tell you?"

"Last night. I climb up the trellis on the side of the house sometimes and knock on his window."

Dally stared at him. "_What?_ Why would- No wonder the kid is having nightmares! Geez, Will!" the minute it came out of his mouth, Dally wished it hadn't.

"Nightmares? What do you mean?" Will looked genuinely concerned.

"Nohting... He's fine. What do you do that for anyway? That seems like a really stupid thing to do."

Will paused for a moment, debating whether to push the issue about Johnny having nightmares, but then he grinned like he had a great secret. "All right, I'll let you in on it. You ready for this? I got a telescope on the roof."

Dally put on his best bored face. "So you wake the kid up every night to play with a damn telescope?"

Will was unphased by Dally's lack of a reaction. "Not every night. Just sometimes. Like last night."

Truth be told, what Dally had really felt when Will told him this was a pang of jealousy. He pictured Will sneaking over to the house from his little carriage-house cottage next door and hanging out with Johnny on the roof for half the night- drinking beers and looking at the stars... almost like the gang hanging out in the vacant lot. Why hadn't he been included in this little secret society? And Johnny hadn't even mentioned it. As soon as that thought entered his head, he shook it away. For crying out loud, it wasn't like it was his family. This was Johnny's home. Dally had no place here. He was glad to be leaving.

"Why's that such a big secret anyway?"

Will shook his head and laughed. "It's only a secret for now. I got it for Tom for Christmas."

"And you're just going to play with your brother-in-law's Christmas presents till then?"

Will laughed in a way that reminded Dally of Two-Bit. "Yup. Anyhow, that's when Johnny told me about your friend and how you were going home. Johnny said he was going to wake Tom up to come get you. I got thinking about it and I figured I'd come out instead. I left a note on the kitchen door."

Dally was shaking his head and staring out the window. "Stupid kid,"

"Aww, c'mon now, Dally. Don't talk that way about him. That kid thinks you're just the coolest guy in the world. He talks about you all the time. He really looks up to you, you know? He's pretty broken up about you leaving."

Dally just continued to scowl, but inside he felt the ache in his chest get bigger. He had so much on his mind, so many emotions running through him that he was not used to. He missed Johnny already, he was scared about Ponyboy and he was just starting to kind of like Johnny's new family until he heard about the skeleton-in-the-closet. Now he wasn't sure what to think of them. He wasn't sure what he felt about Will most of all. Part of him felt angry that Johnny had been cheated out of a normal family life, but it really wasn't Will's fault. Dally was sure that he really didn't have any idea that he was Johnny's real father. Grandma Cade was right. He was just too... oblivious. Probably too consumed with grief over the death of his wife. And he seemed to Dally to be wrapped up in material things, though he was not what Dally would consider materialistic. It was like a crutch- the Corvette, the telescope... He got toys to occupy his mind, to keep his thoughts away from somehing else. Dally didn't like the fact that something horribe had happened to Will, but he didn't feel bad enough not to be angry at the same time. Whether directly or indirectly, he had been in some way responsible, in Dally's eyes, for what Johnny had been through. And to Dally, that was unforgiveable.

They pulled up to the train station and Will got out and walked Dally up to the boarding gate. "Just in time!" he said proudly as the train whistle blew in the distance. He pulled a piece of paper out of his coat pocket and handed it to Dally. "Here's a little something I picked up for you last night."

It was a train ticket. Dally looked at it hesitantly. His eyes narrowed. He really didn't want to take it, but he didn't have time not to. Ponyboy was in trouble and he needed to get home.

"Did you even sleep last night?" Dally asked wondering how on earth the man had found time to hang out on the roof, go pick up a train ticket and get up at 4 a.m.

Will grinned, looking so much like Johnny it was almost frightening. "Nope. Sometimes I don't." He looked down for a minute, masking a saddness in his eyes. "Just the way I am. Now go on, take it!"

Finally, grudgingly, Dally reached out and took the ticket from Will. He did not meet his gaze. "Thanks," he mumbled, looking at his shoes.

"Dally," Will extended his hand. "Thank YOU. Johnny really needed your visit. He was really homesick and we were getting worried about him. You're the only one who could've helped him. We're all real glad you came."

Dally looked at him finally, his eyes were so much like Johnny's. After a minute, he reached out and shook Will's hand.

"Dally, you're welcome here anytime. You remember that now, you hear?"

Dally nodded and got on the train. I'll be back, he thought. After I clean up the mess back home, I'm gonna make sure the mess out here gets cleaned up too.

To the reviewers:

Sarah126- Thanks! I'm so glad you're enjoying the story and I love reading your reviews. Just to let you know, Will is Johnny's real father. That was mentioned a couple chapters back. But I only mentioned it once, I probably should have been a little clearer about that... Sorry! Hope this chapter helped! Thanks again for reading!

WhatGraceHasGiven- You are too kind! Thanks so much for the nice review.

JamesDeanismygod - Thanks for sticking with this story. I really appreciate every single one of your reviews.

Raige- I am flattered! It's a long story, so thanks for taking the time to read it all at once! I pretty much only write Johnny and Dally stories, so I'm really glad you gave it a chance, even though that's not your favorite story line. Thanks!

ghostofyou27- Yes, it originally WAS a oneshot. I had no further story line, nothing. But then- it's so wierd... the story just started to tell itself. I would think about it while I was working on "Safety in Numbers" and I kept thinking, 'No, that was a one shot deal. No more, you'll ruin it." Eventually, I gave up and just started continuing it. It's probably only about half finished, I hope people can stand reading it for that long! And I certainly hope I didn't ruin it! Thanks so much for your review!

Hahukum Konn- Thank you tons! I am trying to be more regular with my updates! Hope this was quick enough for you. accepts cookie!

Kimmerkay- Are you totally psyched for Sept 20th? I know I am. Thanks for the review, I love hearing what you think!

golden greaser- Thanks so much for reviewing! I really appreciate it!

bailey- Thanks for the review!

Locket the lookout- you will find out about Ponyboy soon... probably next chapeter! Thanks for reading!

EmilyTheStrange- love your screen name! Thanks so much for reading, I appreciate the review!

rosanna- Thanks so much! I'm glad you like the story!


	32. Chapter 32

Dally handed the conductor his ticket and started to climb aboard.

"Wait a minute, son," the man said, stopping Dally.

Dally turned coolly, half expecting to be told that he didn't have the right ticket and would have to ride in the baggage car.

"You'll want to keep this," the conductor said handing him a $50 bill.

Dally just looked at him quizzically.

"You handed it to me with your ticket," the man said smiling.

Realization dawned on Dally. "Will," he said under his breath and looked past the conductor. Will was already hurrying across the station, obviously trying to get far enough away where it wouldn't be worth Dally's time to go after him.

"We'll be leaving the station in about 20 mnutes," the conductor said as he turned to take the next person's ticket. "Sit anywhere you'd like."

Dally seriously considered going after Will, but finally decided against it. He moved to the back of the car and found a window seat. He looked out at the station. It was still dark out, but under the lights of the station he could see a freight train pulling away on the other side of the train yard. He probably would have been riding one of those home had Will not come after him. Dally hated to admit it, but he was a little relieved. He was warm and almost dry, and he could probably get some decent sleep on the way home. And he could even eat this time, now that he had some cash. He was starting to settle in his seat when something registered in his mind... something he'd seen out of the corner of his eye when he'd looked out the window... something familiar.

His eyes widened as he looked out the window again. "I don't believe this..." he said under his breath. He jumped out of his seat and ran down the aisle, pushing past the conductor and jumping off the train.

Ponyboy Curtis didn't even see him coming until he was pinned up against the wall and face to face with Dally.

"WHAT the hell are you doing here?" Dally growled, teeth clenched.

It took Ponyboy a second before he could regain his composure. When he did, he slouched in Dally's grasp and answered, "Came to see Johnny."

Dally backed up and ran his hand through his hair, trying to regain his own composure. Ponyboy braced himself for an attack. You did _not_ want to be anywhere near Dallas Winston in the state he was in.

"Do you know what kind of a mess you made? _I was going home to look for you_! Your brothers are scared to death! Do you have any idea what they're going through? Soda is worried sick about you! And Darry-"

"I don't care about Darry!" Ponyboy snapped suddenly.

Dally cuffed him across the head and grabbed him by the back of his sweatshirt. "Shut the hell up and get over here. We'll discuss this on the train." Dally was dragging him over to the ticket booth where a nervous looking man waited behind a window.

"We need one more ticket to Tulsa... how much?" Dally barked.

"$37.95"

Dally swore and slapped the 50 down on the counter. The man printed up a ticket and Dally grabbed it out of his hand without so much as a nod. He shoved the change in his pocket.

"Hey!" Ponyboy yelled. "What are you doing?"

Dally glared daggers at Ponyboy. "Stupid kid...I'm takin' you home!"

"What? No! I came here to see Johnny!"

Dally pushed him up against a wall again and got right in his face. "You are lucky that I don't pound you into the ground right here! That train is leaving in five minutes and you can bet your ass you're gonna be on it. Now shut up and move!"

Ponyboy hung his head and walked towards the train. There was no use fighting Dally. He would never back down and if Ponyboy fought him physically, Dally would beat the tar out of him and drag him on to the train anyhow. He struggled to keep back tears as he climbed aboard ahead of Dally.

"Here," Dally said gruffly, handing the ticket to the conductor and guiding Ponyboy roughly to the back of the train.

Ponyboy sat with his head leaning on the window and Dally sat beside him. The train pulled away from the station and niether one of them spoke.

Ponyboy couldn't fight back the tears any longer and he was glad he had the window seat so he could press himself into the corner and hide his face from Dally.

But Dally heard the occasional sniffle. For the first five minutes, he told himself he didn't care. The kid didn't deserve sympathy after what he did, Dally told himself. But he couldn't ignore it for long. Although not as fierce as his protectiveness of Johnny, Dally had a bit of a soft spot for Ponyboy too. Both boys were his charges, being smaller and younger than the rest of the gang. And after a while, knowing that Ponyboy was that upset began to wear him down.

"What were you thinkin', Ponyboy? What the hell happened anyway?"

Ponyboy sat up a little and wiped his eyes on his sleeve. He was quiet for a minute. "Darry hit me."

"Yeah, I know. What happened before that?"

"I... I don't know... we got in a fight... 'bout my grades."

"What's going on with your grades?"

There was another long pause. "I been missin' a lot of class lately."

Dally waited, his arms folded.

"Curly Shephard and I been cuttin' out early and going to Buck's."

Dally shook his head. "Man, you really don't use your head do you?"

Pony stared at his shoes.

Dally paused before continuing. He was fired up enough to hit Ponyboy himself. He could almost see how Darry could just lose it with him sometimes. But Darry wasn't the type to use physical violence in his family. It was one thing when Dally slugged someone in the gang, but Darry hitting one of his brothers, well... that was too much like Johnny's home life to sit well with anyone. Dally was sure that Darry hadn't meant to do it and he figured he felt pretty bad about it.

"How'd you get here?"

"Same as you. Hopped a train."

Dally groaned inwardly. Darry would probably kill him now, too. They sat in silence for several more minutes.

"He didn't mean to, kid," Dally said finally.

"You don't know that. You weren't there."

"No, but I know your brother. It wasn't right, what he did and all, but I know he didn't mean it."

"I don't care."

"You better start carin'. They're all you've got! Now listen- you've got a chance to get out of that dump of a town you live in and make something out of yourself if you stop screwing up! Darry knows that and he wants to see you get somewhere! Man, you could be living like Johnny someday! You could have it made!"

Ponyboy looked at him, a hopeful light in his eyes. "Johnny's ok?"

"Huh?" Then it dawned on him. Probably a lot of what had gone on back home was a result of the devastation Johnny's leaving had brought to the gang. People were still worried about him. "Johnny's fine." Dally said with conviction and a bit of a smile. "He's stil gettin' used to the place, but he's fine. Even got himself a little lady friend."

Ponyboy almost smiled at that, but not quite. He turned to look out the window again. He felt a little better knowing Johnny was ok, but he would have really liked to have seen him. Now he had to worry about going home to face Darry.

It was several minutes before he voiced this fear to Dally. "Darry's gonna kill me."

Dally was staring straight ahead. He nodded slightly. "Yeah, we got our work cut out for us when we get back."

Pony looked at him in surprise. Was Dally planning on facing Darry with him?

Dally shook his head. "I got it covered, don't worry. I'll talk to him first. And listen. I'll make a deal with you, if you stop all this screwin' around... but no more cutting class, no more bad grades and NO more Curly Shephard- got it?"

"What's the deal?"

Dally grinned slightly and told Ponyboy his idea.

"Think you can live up to your end of the bargain?" Dally asked.

Ponyboy looked much happier now. "Yeah, Dal. I know I can."

Dally just hoped he could live up to his.


	33. Facing the Music

The face wasn't clear, but the figure was drawing closer... closer... the hulking mass was now towering over him as the face came into perfect focus. Johnny's father. Dally threw himself between Johnny and Robert Cade, trying with all his might to shield Johnny from his blows, but it was like he wasn't even there. And then suddenly he was engulfed in flames and Johnny's father was no where to be seen. Johnny was screaming for him in the distance.

"I'm coming, Johnny!" Dally yelled and started running towards the sound of Johnny's screams.Through the smoke, he caught a glimpse of the Cade/Gates house. Then it began to rain and slowly, drop by drop, the the fire began to disappear. And it rained harder and harder, until Dally was waist deep in water. Then the waves came, pulling him under. And he saw Johnny. He saw Johnny being dragged underwater by his father. As people often do in dreams, Johnny would sometimes be Christopher. Dally tried to call out to him, but he only sucked in water. Christopher looked at him with haunted eyes. And then Johnny looked at him, and in his eyes was hurt. Betrayal...

"Johnny, I'm sorry-"

Dally awoke with a start as the train jostled slightly. He let out his breath in relief, realizing it was only a dream. His right shoulder was numb. He looked down to see Ponyboy leaning up against him, sound asleep. Dally sighed and pushed him carefully over to the window.

He leaned back, trying to clear his thoughts. The dream had been very unsettling. In the back of his mind, he knew he would have to deal with the secret that Grandma Cade had told him. But right now, he needed to concentrate on what he was going to say to Darry. And he was kicking himself for not calling to let the Curtis' know that he had found Ponyboy in the first place. Maybe he would get off the train if there was another long stop. Geez, he thought, I hope they haven't called the police yet.

There was one long stop several hours away from Oklahoma. It was an ungodly hour of the night, but Dally knew it wouldn't matter at the Curtis house.

Soda picked up on the first ring.

"Hey Soda, I got somebody here who wants to say hello to you."

Dally handed the phone to Ponyboy.

Pony took it and turned away from Dally. "Hey," he mumbled into the phone.

Dally could only hear bits and pieces of what Pony was saying. The kid sounded miserable. It was only when Soda must have started to put Darry on the phone that Ponyboy's tone changed. "I don't want to talk to him!" he yelled and handed the phone back to Dally.

Dally watched him walk over to a bench and put his head in his hands. He put the phone up to his ear. "Soda?"

"Dally? Where is he? Don't let him-"

"He's fine. He just went and sat down. We'll be home soon. Look, I gotta call Johnny."

They hung up and Dally called Ponyboy back over to the phone. "C'mere, kid. We gotta let Johnny know you're ok."

"You're gonna call them at this hour?"

"Yeah. They're all cool. Johnny'll probably answer anyhow." Dally said dialing the phone. "Johnny? Hey, Johnnycake, guess what?" he handed the phone to Pony.

"Hey Johnny," Pony said.

And then Dally heard yelling. He raised his eyebrows as he watched Ponyboy's eyes widen. Was that really quiet little Johnny on the other end of the phone? Ponyboy's forehead wrinkled slightly as he tried in vain to get a word in edgewise. Dally started laughing. Then he took the phone out of Pony's hand so he could hear what Johnny was yelling about.

"...your brothers! You had everyone scared to death, Ponyboy! Where the hell are you anyway?"

"Somewhere between Virginia and Oklahoma," Dally answered, trying to contain his laughter. Pony just trudged off to the bench again and sat down, sulking.

"Dally? Where's Ponyboy?"

Dally explained the situation to him and then decided they'd better get back on the train. "Listen, kid, we gotta get going," Dally said looking back to make sure Ponyboy was out of earshot. "I'm gonna put him back on, but he's feelin' pretty low right now so...go easy on him, savvy?"

Johnny sighed. "Yeah, sorry."

Pony got up and took the phone reluctantly when Dally held it out towards him. He really didn't need to hear Johnny yelling at him too. If it had been anyone else, he'd have just refused to take the phone, but you didn't argue with Dally.

But Johnny's voice was softer this time. "Hey, Pony, listen... I'm sorry... you just really scared me, that's all." Johnny said.

"'s ok. I'm kinda scared too," Pony mumbled.

"You worried about going home?"

"Yeah,"

"Don't be, man. It'll be all right. Dally'll handle it. Listen, you gotta stop messin' up at school! You get those grades back up and come visit, all right? I miss hangin' out with you."

Pony smiled a little. "I miss hangin' out with you, too."

"I'll write you a letter tonight, ok?"

"Yeah, all right."

They said their goodbyes and Ponyboy hung up the phone and followed Dally back to the waiting train.

"Man, he was really yellin', huh?" Dally said, still in awe that Johnny would ever yell at anyone.

"Yeah," Ponyboy said sullenly. "If even Johnny's yellin', think what Darry will say..."

"Relax, kid."

Soda and Two-bit were there at the train station, waiting for Dally and Ponyboy when they arrived back in Tulsa. Soda ran up and lifted Ponyboy off the ground and spun him around, grinning like crazy and tears streaming out of the corners of his eyes.

"Aww, Pony...why'd you run away like that? Don't ever do that again!" Soda set him down and looked at him, his face getting serious. "You really scared us, kid! We almost called the police!"

Pony hung his head. "Sorry," he mumbled.

Soda sat him down on a bench to talk to him for a minute. Dally wandered off with Two-Bit.

"Where's Darry?" Dally had been somewhat relieved not to see the oldest greaser waiting for them on the platform.

"Soda talked him into going to work and meeting us all back at the house later. Figured he aught to talk to Ponyboy himself first."

"Darry pretty riled up?" Dally asked non chalantly, trying to size up the situation he would have to work with.

"Yeah, but he's been mighty worried, too. He felt pretty bad about... what happened."

"I figured," Dally replied.

"So... uh, how's the kid?" Two-Bit asked eagerly.

Dally shook his head and laughed a little as he lit up a cigarette. "He's livin' like a soc. He's in this big old house, he's got a dog, and he's got people treatin' him like he's a prince or something."

Two-Bit looked very relieved and then he grinned. "Well, all right! Good for him." His grin faded a bit as he thought of something. "Is he...ok? I mean happy and all?"

Dally nodded. "He's a little home sick, but he'll get used to it."

Two-Bit nodded. It wasn't what he was hoping to hear, but in a way it was. He wanted Johnny to be happy, just like the rest of the gang did, but he was a little relived to hear that Johnny missed them too.

"He's got himself a girlfriend," Dally couldn't resist spreading that around. He knew Johnny would get harassed nightly on the phone about this for a while.

"A girlfriend!" Two-Bit whooped. "Johnny?"

"Yep."

"Is she hot? What's she look like?"

"She's cute... she's real cute. Nice kid."

Two-Bit was grinning like a fool. "Hey, y'all!" he yelled over to Pony and Soda.

The two of them were just starting to stand up and come over, both with red eyes. Dally hated this kind of stuff. It made him really uncomfortable. He hoped the Curtis brothers would be able to work through most of this on their own, but he knew if he wasn't careful, he'd end up in the thick of it. For crying out loud, he thought. I'm not a therapist!

"Our little Johnny has got himself a lady friend!" Two-Bit crooned.

Soda blinked in surprise, then laughed. "Well what do ya know! I guess he's doing all right then, huh?" He looked to Dally for reassurance.

Dally nodded. He didn't tell them what he'd discovered on his trip. He didn't even want to think about it right now. Dally was home where he belonged and Johnny was fine. So what if his father wasn't his real father? He's safe now and that's all that matters, Dally though. But in the back of his mind, he knew this was a problem that was going to have to be dealt with at some point.

"Well, I guess we'd better get on home. Darry will be getting back soon." Soda said. Ponyboy looked at his shoes.

They all piled into Two-Bit's car. Nobody said much on the way home. Darry's truck was parked in the driveway when they arrived.

"All right, y'all stay out here, I'm gonna go talk to him." Dally sighed.

Two-Bit and Soda looked at him in surprise.

Dally ignored them and sauntered into the house.

Darry was waiting in the livingroom on the couch.

Darry just looked up at him when he walked in. Dally nodded to him and sat down. He tried desparately to read Darry's expression, but he couldn't. "Kid's outside," Dally said finally.

Darry nodded. And then Dally caught it. Guilt. He breathed relief inwardly. He wasn't sure what he was going to do if Darry was just mad. He was sure he _was_ mad, but guilt definitely had the upper hand.

"I told him I'd talk to you first... before he came in."

Darry leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. "This is so out of control," he mumbled.

Dally chewed on his lower lip. He wasn't good at this. He didn't know what to say. It was easy with Ponyboy, just give him a good wack on the head and tell him to stop being stupid. But Darry... well, he didn't know what to say.

"I uh... I know Ponyboy can be... kinda frustrating sometimes..." Dally felt completely ridiculous. "But maybe..."

Darry stared at his shoes. "Maybe what? Maybe I was too hard on him? Maybe I shouldn't have hit him? Yeah, tell me something I don't know. I just... I lost it, man. I got work and bills I can't pay and Johnny leaving-"

Johnny leaving. Being back here the reality of that was sinking in again. Johnny wasn't here...

"and then he's hanging out with Curly Shepard!" Darry continued. "And cutting class! I don't know what to do with him anymore! He's so far behind now, I don't know if he can get back on track- and speaking of track, they're taling about kicking him off the team!"

Dally shook his head. "All right, I know. I know, man. I had a talk with him on the train. I told him he needs to shape up."

Darry looked grateful but hopeless at the same time. Dally was just getting more uncomfortable. He didn't like seeing Darry like this. "Look man, he screwed up big time. He's gotta get his act together and I think he's gonna this time. But maybe in the mean time... you could, you know, cut him a little slack."

Darry met his eyes again. And the guilt was written all over his face. "You mean don't hit him again?"

"Uh.. yeah..."

Darry looked down at his shoes again. "I never.. _never_... meant for that to happen."

"I know, man."

"Maybe I can't do this," Darry said finally. "Maybe this is more than I can handle."

Dally stood up then and folded his arms. "Ain't nothin' you can't handle, Curtis!" he had suddenly found his voice. "You've been to hell and back and _this_ you can't handle? I don't think so. Now I'm bringin' that little shit in here and you two gotta work this out. When the hell did I become the damn den mother, anyhow?"

Darry stared at him. The faintest hint of a smile crossed over his face. "You know, you have been a little mother-hen like lately."

Dally cursed at him.

Darry sat back, his face serious again. "How's Johnny, doin' Dally?"

Dally looked down. He was tired of telling people that Johnny was fine. Johnny was living in a lie that Dally was now a part of. And there was nothing fine about that, no matter how much he tried to convince himself otherwise. "He's...fine." and then to avoid saying anymore about it, he yelled for Ponyboy to come inside. He stepped out to meet Ponyboy on the porch.

"Drop the attitude at the door, kid."

Ponyboy was scowling.

"I mean it," Dally said in his no-nonsense tone. "You're as much a part of this problem as he is... don't go in there thinkin' you didn't do anything wrong, 'cause you did. And you know it."

Ponyboy's expression softened. Wordlessly, he went inside.

Dally didn't miss the fleeting look of despair in Soda's eyes.


	34. Back in Tulsa

Dally sat up in bed, gasping for air. He was drenched in sweat and shaking. The same dream that he'd had on the train... but more intense. He ran his hand through his hair and tried to calm down. This is ridiculous, he told himself. But he was fighting a battle within. On the one side, he thought this was just crazy. He needed to get some decent sleep and he'd be fine. But another side of him was asking... what if?

What if these dreams meant something? What if Johnny was in trouble? He shook his head trying to stop the pessimistic thoughts. For crying out loud, Dallas, he scolded himself. There's a party going on downstairs and you're falling asleep at 11:00 at night!

Since he returned from Virginia, he'd had a hard time going back to his old routine. He'd gotten used to going to bed early and getting up early. So used to it in fact that he'd actually picked up a job at the race track. No one knew about it, but he was up at the crack of dawn every day, mucking out stalls and taking care of some of the horses. It kept him busy, kept his mind off things. But it also made it impossible for him to stay up all night the way he used to. He couldn't believe that he actually had a job now, but he figured he could use the money. If he ever went back to visit Johnny, no way was Will paying his way again.

It was really weird. He had thought he would be glad to be back in Tulsa. Glad to have something to do at night instead of just go to bed. When he first got back, he had tried to just fall back into his old ways -the drinking, the miriad of trampy girls he had at his disposal, the parties, the fighting... everything was just like it was before... except it didn't feel like it did before. Suddenly Buck's place just looked old and dirty to him. So did the girls. And the parties... he didn't even really know anyone at these parties and the people he did were usually too drunk to have any interaction with. He couldn't even sleep when he first got home. The bed was too lumpy, there was too much noise downstairs and he couldn't get a cool breeze to come through his window to save his life.

And he was...lonely. He hated to admit it but it was true. For a week, for one lousy week, he'd sort of felt like he had a real family. Not that he didn't consider the gang his true family, but he'd gotten a taste of what it was like to live a normal life for a 17 year old kid. Granted, it was a fleeting glimpse and he knew very well a week was no amount of time to really judge a situation like that, but he'd felt something he'd never felt before. He had felt just the faintest hint of contentment. And he missed it.

When he finally was able to fall asleep in his lumpy bed and his breezless room, that was when the dreams had started. And they were getting worse. He couldn't get through a night without waking up.

He of course had let on to no one that he was having difficulty re-adjusting to life in Tulsa. He'd returned home, tried to help settle things with the Curtis brothers, and he'd kept a close eye on Ponyboy, making sure he was shaping up. He'd gone to Ponyboy's track meet a few days after getting back, just as he'd promised way back in October when he left for Virginia. Pony seemed to appreciate that he had come. Things seemed better between the Curtis brothers with the exception of Soda. Something had happened between him and Sandy that no one talked about. From what Dally had been able to piece together, it sounded like she was going to be "going away for awhile". It was pretty clear what that meant and he tried not to bring it up. In some ways he figured the situation with Sandy was helping to ease the situation between Darry and Ponyboy. They seemed to be focusing more on helping Soda now than on antagonizing eachother.

Ponyboy was getting back on track in school and really trying. Wheather it was because he wanted to ease tension between him and Darry of because of the deal Dally had made with him on the train, Dally wasn't sure.

At any rate, weeks had passed and things seemed fairly under control. But Dally remained tensed, as though ready for something to happen. He hadn't told anyone about the secret he had learned in Virginia. He figured it was only fair that Johnny hear about it first before anymore of the gang knew. He wondered everyday if Grandma Cade had told him yet. He knew she would give Johnny a little more time to settle back into his new life after Dally left, but maybe it had been enough time. Maybe she had decided to tell him already. Dally decided he'd ask to speak to her the next time Johnny called.

As he lay awake, he could hear the party still in full swing downstairs. He thought about going down to get a beer and hunt some action, but his eyelids were heavy. Don't fall asleep, he kept telling himself. He knew if he did the dreams would start again. But he'd been up early, working in the stables and he couldn't fight the exhaustion for long.

When he opened his eyes again, the room was quiet. Deathly quiet. And dark. Unusual for Buck's. When it was dark, it was loud. there was always something going on.

Dally lying down facing the wall. He propped himself up on one arm, listening to the silence, an eerie feeling creeping across his skin.

He heard breathing. His stomach turned to ice as he spun around.

What he saw made him suck in his breath and back up into the corner.

Christopher was standing beside his bed.

"Go back," the image whispered. "Go back. NOW!"

**Note to Reviewers:**

Wow... you guys all just really insipre me to keep writing. Thank you so much for taking the time to review. Just wanted to let you know (because a lot of you asked), "The Deal" will be brought up again later in the story. It may seem like I've forgotten about it, but I haven't. Sorry about the cliff hanger. I won't leave you hanging too long.

**MissLKid!**- Where ya been? I thought you'd disappeared! So great to hear from you again! I'm doing very well, thanks for asking, how 'bout you? Thanks so much for reviewing and so glad to have you back!

Slush- I am always thrilled to see that people who have not already been following this story will actually read it from start to finish and ask for more! Thank you! And I do plan to continue this until it's finished.

nighttimewriter- I laughed so hard when I read your review... you must've been REALLY tired! You were slurring your type! Anyhow, so glad you liked it! Hope you continue reading. Try to get some sleep!

WhatGraceHasGiven- Always great to hear from the faithful reviewers! Thanks so much! And sure... Go vegans! I'll go along with that!

JamesDeanIsMyGod- Yes, Dally and Darry kind of take turns in the parent role in this story. I always thought they kind of did that in the book too. Thank you for the review!

JenniferLongo- This story is going to be a little bit of an emotional rollercoaster. Hope you are enjoying it, but be prepared for some rough roads ahead! Thanks for the review. By the way, to answer your question, I am PLANNING to finish the story this December. That's the plan, anyhow, but you know how plans go! I have a lot more to tell, so hopefully I can fit it all in.

pony's girl- thanks so much for reading! The "Cade family mystery" sort of wrote itself in my mind, if that makes any sense. I wrote chapter one a long time ago, never intending to add to it. While I was working on Safety in Numbers, I kept thinking about all the reviewers who'd asked me to continue So You're Leaving. I know this sounds weird, but it was like I had sent Johnny away and I started wondering what was happening to him, what was his new family like? Did he have any interactions with the gang? And what if maybe somehow, these people were his real family? How could that have happened? So that's it in a nut shell! Thanks for your interest!

Sarah126- Thank you! I appreciate you staying with the story for so long! Thanks for all your reviews!

Hahukum Konn- Thanks for reviewing! I always appreciate your comments!

kimmerkay- So sorry about your bad day at work! Hope things have gotten a little better! Thank you for your continuing encouragement with my story. Always a pleasure to hear your thoughts! Hope you make it to Chicago for the movie. I'm thinking I might try to go to NYC, but I don't know... the husband gave me "the look" when I told him we had to NY for "a movie". He doesn't understand!

FlaminSquirrelz- Sorry 'bout the cliffhanger! Hope you enjoy the rest of the story, and thank for reviewing!

ghostofyou27- thank you so much for the review! Always very much appreciated.

Raige- Thanks for your review! Glad you're enjoying the story.


	35. A Twist of Fate

Dally squeezed his eyes shut and when he opened them again, the image was gone. He was lying down in bed and there was noise coming from downstairs. Loud music, yelling, the usual.

His breathing was coming in short gasps and he was shaking. The sight of Christopher standing in front of his bed was still clear in his mind. Calm down, he told himself. It was only a stupid dream!

But Dally couldn't quell the panic rising in his chest. He was convinced now that Johnny was somehow in trouble and he needed to return to Virginia. He stumbled out of bed and threw some clothes in a bag. His body was still stiff and weary with sleepiness, but slowly he began to feel the blood circulating again. As the residue of sleep began to wear off, he became more aware of what he was actually doing.

"This is crazy," he said, hesitating before tossing a pair of socks in the bag. He threw the bag down on the bed and rubbed his forehead. "I need a beer."

A beer. He would go downstairs, join the party for a little while and have a beer. That would settle his nerves and then he could go back to sleep.

He stopped at the door and turned back suddenly, grabbing the bag just in case.

Dally walked down the stairs, pushing his way through a group of greasy looking girls that all winked and waved at him as he went by.

Buck was behind the bar, handing a drink to a middle aged guy who looked like he'd already had enough.

Tim Shepard was there too. He noticed Dally and came over.

Dally nodded to him.

"Hey, Dal," Tim greeted him. "Where you headed?" He asked noting the bag Dally was carrying.

"Nowhere. Came down to get a beer. Couldn't sleep." Dally sat down on a bar stool and motioned to Buck.

"Sleep?" Tim snorted. "The night is still young, man!" He took a swig of his drink. "What's up with you lately? You're always goin' to bed early the past few times I seen you.You ain't gettin' soft or nothin', are ya?"

Dally glared at him and cursed.

"Where you been, anyway?"

"Went to see a friend for a while," Dally said after a pause.

"Oh, right, that black haired kid... Cade? He left town, huh?"

Dally looked at him in surprise, a feeling of fear beginning to well up in the pit of his stomach. He knows that Johnny is gone? So what, he asked himself. So what if he knows?

"What's it like out there, anyhow?" Tim asked.

Dally's stomach sank. "Where?"

Tim looked at him like he was nuts. "Virginia! That's where he is, ain't it?"

"How do you know that?" Dally's mind raced. He knows where Johnny is...If Shepard knew, how many other people knew?

"Curly and the Curtis kid were hanging out for a while. Guess Curly found out from him." Tim took another swig of beer. "Darrel needs to lighten up," Tim said, bouncing to another subject, oblivious to Dally's reaction of concern.

But it hadn't really been a secret. Once Johnny had gotten out of Tulsa, it wasn't a secret any more. There hadn't been any reason for Ponyboy or someone else not to have said something to a person outsde the gang. There had been no reason to think that Johnny's parents would give a hang where he had gone. And maybe they didn't, but Dally had a feeling... a really unsettling feeling. Had Two-Bit told anyone? Had the kids at school been asking about him? _How many other people knew?_ What it really boiled down to was only one thing that Dally didn't even dare think... Did Johnny's father know?

"Tim, who else knows where he is?" Dally blurted out.

Tim had been rambling on about Darry and how he had forbidden Ponyboy and Curly to hang out. He stopped and looked at Dally again. "I don't know, why? What difference does it make?"

"Do his parents know?"

"How the hell would I know? I don't know his parents!"

But something in Dally's tone made Tim pause for a minute. He was desperate and near panic. Tim's expression softened slightly. "I don't know, man."

"His father was in here just yesterday," Buck drawled from behind them. He had over heard as he came to bring Dally's beer. Buck knew everyone in town.

Dally turned and stared at him.

"I don't know if he knows where the kid is, but he was pissed as hell and looking for you. He was bad mouthin' all your gang."

Tim slammed his beer down on the counter. "What? I didn't hear about that! I'd have kicked his ass. Old Dally and I both woulda!"

Dally just stared.

"Cool it Shepard," Buck went on. "You wouldn't have got the chance. He was gettin' so outta control that somebody slugged him and a bunch of guys dragged him outside. Didn't take much to knock him cold. He was pretty well liquered up before he even came in." Buck set the beer down and started to walk away.

Dally nearly flew over the bar and grabbed Buck's arm.

"I need your keys, man!" Dally yelled, his eyes wild.

Buck shook loose from his grasp. "What for? No! You ain't takin' my car."

"Buck! Damn it! I need those keys!"

Buck swore at him and shoved him away. Only lack of time prevented Dally from knocking a few of Buck's teeth out. He turned hastily and fled out the door. He would have to hop the train.

A few moments later he heard someone calling him.

"Dally! Wait!"

Tim was running towards him. He was holding out his hand and shaking something. As he got closer, Dally could hear the jingle of car keys.

"I swiped these for ya!" he said, grinning as he tossed Buck's keys to Dally.

Dally looked gratefully at him and Tim slapped his shoulder as he took off towards the T-Bird parked behind the bar. Tim didn't know what was going on, and he really didn't care. He headed back inside to see how long it would be before Buck noticed that his car was gone.


	36. Going Back

The T-Bird sped down the dark highway, and behind the wheel Dally chewed nervously at his lip. He had been repeatedly asking himself if he might have gone completely insane.

I'm driving all the way out there for nothing, he kept telling himself. I'm going to lose my job at the stables, I'm going to make the gang wonder where the heck I am and I'm going to make a complete fool of myself to Johnny's family. But something in his gut was telling him to keep going.

What are you going to do when you get there? The voice inside him asked again. Walk in the door and say "I have this feeling that the bad side of the family might be coming, I think, so... uhhh..."? Dally groaned inwardly imagining the scene.

So many thoughts raced through his mind. Thoughts of doubt on one side and then another side completely shaken by the idea that maybe this wasn't as crazy as it seemed.

What if Johnny's father _was_ headed out there right now? Should I have called Johnny to warn him? Johnny doesn't even know the whole story... he wouldn't get it. Should I have stopped by the Curtis house and let them know where I was going?

Dally drove through Windrixville and saw the church steeple in the distance. Momentarily, his thoughts shifted to the old abandoned building. He had pointed it out to Ponyboy on the way home on the train. Ponyboy had asked some questions and gazed at it out the window as they passed by, seeming genuinely interested.

Eventually, Dally had to stop for gas. While he was at the station, he decided he would call the Curtis house and at least let someone know where he was.

It was Ponyboy who answered. "You're _where_?" he asked, shocked.

"I'm only going for a little while."

"Why... why didn't you tell anyone?" he stammered in confusion.

"I don't know, I just decided. It was last minute. Look, I gotta go, but you remember what we talked about before... on the train. You keep those grades up, you got it? No more fighting with your brother."

"Yeah, " Ponyboy sounded a little disappointed as he hung up the phone.

Dally hoped the kid wouldn't start hanging out with Curly again while he was gone. He started to put another dime in phone to call Johnny's family, but he decided against it. The farther away he got from Tulsa, and the more time he had to think about it, the more resolved he became to the idea that he might be blowing things out of proportion.

He got back in the car and thought seriously about turning around. But he didn't. He continued on and drove for hours, stopping only for gas, bathroom breaks and an occasional coffee.

The sun had come up (and had been up) for the second time during his trip when he pulled in the driveway of the Cade-Gates Residence. He felt completely foolish as he climbed the steps of the front porch and knocked on the door. He knew Tom and Will would be out in the stables, Johnny would be at school and only Grandma Cade or Wendy would be home.

Grandma Cade appeared at the window and looked completely shocked. She flung open the door. "Dallas? Dallas, what are you doing here? Are you all right?" she asked in as close to a frantic tone as Dally had ever heard her use. She took him by the arm and lead him into the entry hall.

Dally almost laughed. She would never call him "Dally". It was always Dallas. And he never would have believed that anything could rattle the old lady, but she certainly seemed concerned. Then he caught a look at himself in the hallway mirror.

"Oh," he said and ran his hand over his hair and rubbed his eyes.

"Did you drive all the way here all by yourself?"

"Yeah."

"Have you slept?"

"No."

Grandma Cade folded her hands then and suddenly looked a lot more like her old self. "Well. I can't have much sympathy for you then, can I? Why would you do something like that?"

Dally didn't answer her right away.

She turned away from him suddenly and headed towards the kitchen. He followed.

"I suppose you're here to tell Johnny the truth about his past." She said sitting down at the table with her cup and saucer. "Would you care for some tea?"

Dally shook his head as he took a stool at the counter. He was still feeling weird about why he was there. "No, actually..." he dropped his head into his hands, groaning. "I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing here." It was going to take some effort to actually explain himself. He was glad Grandma Cade was the only one home as she was the only one he could tell.

She sat patiently, waiting for Dally to gather his thoughts. Something was up and she knew if she gave him the space and the time he needed, he would tell her what was bothering him. She knew how to handle him.

The moment she had met Dallas Winston, she sensed they shared something. Something in their pasts that made them two of a kind. She saw in him the same pain that she had experienced, the same determination to survive and the same intensity in his protectiveness of Johnny that she had for her family. She knew how to get through to him because he was just like her. So she was never forcefull with him, but she was firm. She kept her distance from him, gave him his space, but never minced words. She knew when she talked to him about things like church and school, that he was listening. Not necessarily agreeing, but listening. She told him like it was. And he did the same with her. Whatever it was that had brought him here, he would tell her because somehow, she had earned his trust even before the rest of the family.

She thought about this as she waited. It was obvious that he _liked_ the rest of the family, but he didn't trust easily. Grandma Cade was confident, though, that he would learn to trust them all, once he got used to them. They were good people. She could already see him opening up to Tom a bit and, though he didn't quite know what to make of Wendy's mothering, Grandma Cade guessed that Dallas would come to realize it was something that he had been missing all his life. She just hoped the secret that they needed to reveal did not undo all the carefully woven threads of everyone's world when it was brought to the surface.

But as much as she had Dally figured out, Grandma Cade was not prepared for what he told her.

"I got this crazy feeling that... " Dally shook his head and hesitated. He looked at the old woman sitting across from him. It's ok, he thought as he made eye contact. You can tell her. You have to tell her!

"Ok. I got this feeling that Johnny's dad was going to come out here, I don't know."

Grandma Cade face turned ashen. She took a moment before responding. She did not let on how serious of a problem this could be. "What exactly gave you this feeling?"

Dally was not about to tell her about the nightmares and the "ghost" if that's what it even was. But he didn't have to. There were other things too. He told her about the incident in the bar with Tim and Buck and how people knew where Johnny was.

"It's crazy. I just-" Dally shrugged, unable to finish his sentence.

Grandma Cade looked pensive for a moment. Dally could tell she was trying to decide whether or not to be concerned. "I have been trying over the past several days to prepare Johnny to hear about this, I have told him there are some things we need to discuss about his family. He seems to shy away whenever I try to approach him about it."

"If you had his family, you wouldn't want to talk about it either."

"No, I suppose I wouldn't. And you forget, I did have his family."

Dally remained silent.

"I think you were right to act on your suspicions. Although," she said smiling somewhat. "I think a phone call would have been easier."

Dally rolled his eyes. "You think?"

Grandma Cade stirred her tea quietly.

"So, what do we do? I mean, this is totally ridiculous, right?"

At that moment, Wendy came in the door. "Mother?" she called. "Whose car- Dally!" She stopped short when she saw him and almost dropped her groceries. She put them down on the table and ran over to him.

"Dally! What are you doing here?"

He fliched slightly when she hugged him, not used to physical contact from adults being anything other than violent.

Grandma Cade watched the exchange out of the corner of her eye. Dally was a bit tense when Wendy got too close to him, but he was visibly more relaxed than when they'd first met. She knew how to handle Dally too, she just went about it differently.

Wendy pushed Dally back and held him at arms length, looking at him like a concerned mother. She took his face in her hands and her forehead wrinkled. "Sweetie, you look like you haven't slept in a week!" She felt his head. "Why, you look just awful!" She was aware of the fact that Dally tensed each time she touched him, but she had seen enough abused animals, horses in particular, to know that it just took patience. And she knew if she could calm animals as wild as some of the ones she had seen, she could get through Dally's shell too.

"Now, you come right in here and sit on the sofa, I'm going to bring you some apple cider."

Dally glanced at Grandma Cade as Wendy led him to the sofa in the other room. Grandma Cade appeared to be deep in thought.

"Johnny's gone to school," Wendy said motioning for Dally to sit down. "But he will really be happy to see you when he gets home! This is wonderful to have you back!" Wendy called as she made her way back to the kitchen for the cider.

Grandma Cade had disappeared as Wendy returned to the sofa with a glass for Dally. "But I don't understand why you look like you drove all the way here and didn't sleep!" She looked at him scoldingly.

Dally just shrugged.

Wendy studied him, concern written all over her face. She knew he wasn't going to tell her anything. "Well... I'd like you to be more careful in the future. That really wasn't very safe! And where did you get the car?"

Dally wasn't sure if he was tired or if he'd gone completely out of his mind, but instead of feeling angry about being questioned and told how to live his life, he suddenly felt...content.

He gave no answer to Wendy's questions, though. She was already headed back to the kitchen, promising to bring him something to eat.

When Dally awoke, there was a blanket covering him, a sandwich on the coffee table and a dog licking his face.

"Ack!" Dally sat up.

"Dally?" Johnny shouted from the front hallway, obviously having recognized Buck's T-Bird in the driveway.

Coal grabbed the sandwich off the plate on the coffee table and took off.

"Hey!" Dally shouted and got off the couch. He was immediately tackled to the ground by Johnny and the two got into a wrestling match that rivaled the ones that went on at the Curtis house. Only this time, Johnny was much stronger than in the past. For several minutes, Dally actually began to fear defeat. Fortunately, Coal had finished the sandwich and was ready to play. He snarled and nipped at the two boys, finally getting hold of Johnny's sleeve and pulling.

Johnny let out a gasp and tried to push Coal back. Sensing his opportunity, Dally shifted his weight and pounced, pinning Johnny's shoulders to the floor.

"Damn dog!" Johnny cursed. Then he looked up at Dally and grinned. "It's great to see you, man!"

"It's good to see you too, kid," Dally said, trying desperately to hide the fact that he was out of breath.

And the inevitable question, "What are you doing here?"

Dally tried the shrug answer he'd given Wendy. "I don't know," he added.

Johnny just looked at him, confused. "What do you mean, you don't know? Did.. did you drive here? By yourself?"

Dally got up and looked tiredly around the room, trying to just avoid the question. "You wanna go outside for a smoke?" he asked, fumbling around his jacket pockets for his cigarettes."

"I don't smoke anymore," Johnny said, getting up to follow Dally outside.

"Well, la te dah!" Dally mocked, staying a couple steps ahead of Johnny, and searching his exhausted mind for another subject. School? No. The girl. "How's your girlfriend?"

He could almost _feel_ Johnny blushing from behind him. Ah ha, he smiled to himself. He had successfully stepped out of the spotlight.

"Fine." There was the slightest hint of a smile in Johnny's voice.

Dally stopped and turned around at the door. He looked at Johnny, grinning. "You kissed her, didn't ya?"

Johnny looked at his shoes and shoved his hands in his pockets.

Dally just continued to grin slyly as he lit his cigarette and meandered out onto the porch.

"What else?" he asked, leaning against the railing and blowing a perfect smoke ring.

Johnny's head shot up. "Nothing!" he almost yelled, then he cringed and looked around. He looked back at Dally, his eyebrows lowered defensively as he whispered, "Nothing!"

Dally let out a dramatic sigh. "Fine, if you don't want to tell me-"

"Dal, I'm serious, she's not like that. She doesn't want to... you know, do that kind of stuff... till she's... married." Johnny was beet red and looking as though he wanted to crawl under the porch and die. But then he looked right at Dally and his voice steadied. "And I'm going to respect that."

Dally grinned. "Good for you, kid. Good for you. She's a nice girl. I'm just messin' with you."

"I know," Johnny looked at the ground again.

Dally flicked some ashes into the bushes and looked at Johnny. The kid looked great, even better than Dally's first visit. He was healthy, happy and full of energy and, at the moment, embarassment. "So, things are going well, I take it?" Dally said, keeping any inflection out of his voice.

Johnny dropped his gaurd somewhat hesitantly, and smiled a little. "Yeah. Things are going great!"

Dally nodded. "Good."

"What's going on back home? How is eveyone?"

"They're fine-"

"Dallas Winston!"

Dally was interrrupted by Will and Tom who had spotted the car in the driveway from the barn and come up to investigate.

They both came up and patted him on the back, barraging him with questions and greetings.

Grandma Cade appearing from nowhere, stepped out onto the porch to rescue him. "All right, boys. Let's let Dallas put his things away and get settled! The poor child hasn't had a wink of sleep in over 24 hours."

Dally scowled at being refered to as a child, but Grandma Cade just raised an eyebrow as if to say, "Would you rather explain why your're here?" She snatched Dally's cigarette as he walked by. Dally wandered into the entry hall ignoring Johnny's snickering.

Johnny tagged along at Dally's heels as he headed upstairs and into "his" room.

Dally flopped down on the bed and flung his arm across his eyes. Johnny sat down on the bed beside him. Coal jumped up too.

"So how long are you staying? You wanna go outside after you put away your stuff? We could take the horses out-"

Dally laughed and groaned. The kid was so much more talkative now. "Yeah, we'll go hang out, Johnnycake. Give me half an hour to get some sleep and I'll go. Deal?"

Johnny grinned. "Sure, Dal. I'll go get my math homework done."

Dally reached up and ruffled his hair. "You do that." He was asleep before Johny left the room.

When he opened his eyes again it was dark. Johnny must've decided to let him sleep. He didn't know what time it was, but he could tell that it was late. The house was quiet, but something had awakened him. There was a light shining on his ceiling. Was that always there? He didn't remember it from before... And then it went out. And he heard a car door slam.

He felt his heart sink into the pit of his stomach.


	37. Visitor

Without a second's hesitation, Dally lept from his bed and darted across the hall to Johnny's room. Panic rose in his chest when he opened the door to find that Johnny was not there.

He heard barking coming from outside. He ran down the stairs, nearly tripping on his way down. His first instinct was to reach for the front door, but a light coming from the back of the house caught his eye. Deciding to skip the last four steps, Dally vaulted himself over the banister and headed for the back door. The barking was definitely coming from the back porch and he could hear Johnny scolding Coal.

He burst throught the door causing Caroline and Johnny to jump and move apart from eachother guiltily, though Dally was sure they weren't doing anything more inappropriate than holding hands.

Dally suddenly felt a little strange. He started second guessing himself again.

So there was a car out front... So what? It was probably Caroline's parents coming to pick her up. And was there really even a car? He hadn't even checked. And here he had just come flying out the door, interrupting Johnny and Caroline's little romantic evening, probably appearing as though he had been spying on them.

Johnny looked rather annoyed at first, but obviously read a fleeting glimpse of fear in Dally's face before it changed to slight embarrassment.

"Hey, Dal. What's goin' on?"

Dally just looked at him. What on earth was he supposed to say? I think you're father's here to take you back to Tulsa? Or to try to kill you if he finds out you're not really his kid?

Suddenly Dally was filled with annoyance. He had driven all the way out here and had yet to explain why to anyone but Grandma Cade. He'd come bursting through the back door in the middle of Johnny's date because he'd heard a car door slam... when was this all going to end? Keeping this secret was not only eating him up inside, but it was making him look like a complete idiot.

He'd had enough. Johnny was going to hear the truth right here, right now, whether he (or Grandma Cade) wanted to or not.

"Uh... we kinda need to talk about something, kiddo." Dally scratched the back of his neck uneasily.

Johnny looked at him blankly. "Now?"

"Yeah. Now. Caroline, I'm sorry, doll. Can I borrow him for a minute?"

"Of course," Caroline smiled sweetly and stood up.

Johnny started to protest, but she stopped him. "Johnny, it's all right, really. I need to get home anyway. Mom and Dad aren't going to like me being out this late. That might be them out front right now."

That's what I thought, Dally sighed inwardly.

But what if it's not? The little voice deep inside him asked. The little voice he was trying so hard to ignore. A sudden fear gripped Dally as Caroline began to make her way inside. He reached out, shut the door and grabbed her arm, making Caroline jump. "Wait,"

"Dally!" Johnny stepped towards him defensively.

Dally let go of Caroline immediately but kept his hand on the door. Even as he kept second guessing himself, the little voice deep inside him continued to stir up feelings of intense anxiety.

"Maybe it's not your parents..." Dally stammered, looking at the confused young girl beside him. Was he going to have to explain this to _both_ of them?

"Oh," Caroline replied, very obviously not grasping Dally's implication of possible danger. "Well if it's not, could you walk me home, Johnny?"

Before Johnny could even open his mouth, Dally answered. "No! No, I think Will should drive you. Or someone."

Johnny almost glared at him. "Dally, what the hell's wrong with you?" he asked, keeping his voice lowered.

Dally looked at him intently. "Johnny, just have someone drive you. I'll explain when you get back."

"Dally, for crying out loud! We walk out here all the time! It's completely safe. I don't-"

"Johnny!" Dally's tone got stern and his eyes narrowed. He was not used to being questioned and now was not the time for an argument. "I ain't askin' kid, find someone to drive you!"

"I don't care if you're askin' or not!" Johnny said his dark eyes blazing with determination.

Dally would have almost liked to laugh. He had never _never_ in the entire time he'd known Johnny seen him stand up to anyone. A little piece of Dally was proud of him. He'd finally gained some confidence. And apparently, a lot of it. But his timing was really bad. Had the circumstances been different, Dally might have backed down. He might have let Johnny win. But instead, he was about two seconds from smaking the kid in the head and telling him exactly what was going on.

Caroline quickly grew uncomfortable with the stand off and, in her own delicate way, decided to break it up.

"Johnny, I think Dally's right." She had finally sensed the urgency in Dally's voice. "Why don't we just get a ride tonight? It's getting cold."

Dally shot her a grateful glance. Johnny glared daggers a him and Dally gave it right back.

"Fine," Johnny said, finally breaking his gaze with Dally.

Dally tried to be relieved, but he wasn't. Dally had his street smarts, his years of experience in the alleys of New York, but he was about to learn a lesson from the four legged member of the Cade family... because unlike human beings, dogs never second guess their instincts.

Suddenly, everyone stopped and looked at the Coal. His barking had become far more menacing than his usual "someone's here" bark. He was snarling and his hair was standing on end.

A figure appeared in the shadows at the corner of the house. And an unmistakeable voice asked, "What are you doin' here, boy?"

Dally's entire body went completely numb as he took a protective step between Johnny and Caroline and Robert Cade.

**To all the reviewers:**

Thanks so much for taking the time to write a little comment to me! It really helps! Sorry about the long wait between updates, this is the part of the story that has not quite worked itself out in my head. However, the other day, I came up with an ending that I'm very proud of! I hope you'll all stick with me so I can share it with you!

**JamesDeanismygod**: Thanks for your reviews! I really appreciate your comments. I'm glad you picked up on the differences between Dally's relationship to Tim as opposed to his relationships with the members of his own gang. It's always encouraging to know that things like that are coming across in the story.

Did you enjoy The Complete Novel DVD? I loved it! I didn't want it to end!

**Sarah126**: Sorry to leave you with another cliff hanger. As you may have guessed, there are more to come!

**kimmerkay:** The DVD is finally here! Wasn't it great? Anyhow, thanks so much for the reviews. Sorry to leave you hanging again!

**lynneanne:** I'm so thrilled that you're enjoying the story! I really appreciate your reviews!

**Hahukum Konn**: Pony didn't mean to blab. He just didn't know. Glad you're still sticking with me! I'm always gratefull for reviews!

**WhatGraceHasGiven:** Thanks so much! Hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	38. The Truth Revealed

Robert Cade was a large man. His shaggy, sand colored hair fell over his mean, grey eyes in tufts, looking as though he had cut it himself many months ago. Several day's worth of stubble covered most of his face. His flannel shirt was ripped and stained in several places and had more than one cigarette burn on the sleeves. He had a look about him that made him appear slightly intoxicated even when he wasn't. Right now, he also looked very angry.

When air finally entered Dally's lungs, he almost choked. He'd been holding his breath and hadn't even realized it. He glanced back at Johnny. His face had lost its color and his eyes were wide with fear.

But his voice was calm as ever. "Caroline, go inside." He said without taking his eyes off Robert.

Caroline didn't move.

Dally looked back quickly. She didn't want to leave Johnny's side. "Do what he says, doll," Dally urged, keeping his voice as steady and as calm as Johnny's.

Caroline backed away from them slowly, climbed the steps and hovered inside the doorway for a moment, her eyes never leaving the scene in the backyard. After a moment, she disappeared.

There was a long silence.

Robert was finally the one to break it. "Well? What do you think you're doin' here, boy? You gonna answer me?"

Dally was suddenly filled with a blinding rage. Back home, there wasn't much anyone could do about the constant abuse that Johnny endured from this man, other than to provide him with first aid and a safe place to sleep when he chose not to sleep at home. But here... here things were different. The circumstances had completely changed and he was not going to just stand by and let him hurt Johnny again.

Robert Cade was much bigger than Dallas Winston, but Dally was pretty sure he wasn't nearly as angry. He took a menacing step towards Johnny's "father". He opened his mouth to say something, but a voice behind him made him stop.

"Dallas!" It was Tom.

Caroline must've gone to get him and Wendy too, because Wendy came flying out the back door and threw her arms around Johnny. She was crying and her eyes had a paniced look in them as she watched Robert.

Will and Grandma Cade appeared in the doorway too.

"What the-" Will started.

"Will! I want you to take Caroline home." Tom said.

"But-"

"NOW!"

Caroline looked terrified. Dally felt a little pang of guilt, like he should be doing something, he didn't know what. He barely knew the girl, but for some reason, he felt almost as protective of her as he did of Johnny.

"Johnny?" Caroline called, her voice trembling.

Johhny composed his features as Dally had seen him do before rumbles or during encounters with Socs. He put on a relaxed expression and turned to look at Caroline. "It's fine, Care. Go on home with Will. I'll see you tomorrow, all right?" His voice was steady and gentle. Only his eyes betrayed his uneasiness, and Dally doubted Caroline could see his eyes from where she was standing.

But Coal could sense the tension. He had sat down beside Johnny and continued to let out a low growl.

Will finaly led Caroline away from the door and the two of them left.

Wendy was still clinging to Johnny and Johnny was trying to comfort her, all the while watching Robert warily and keeping a tight hold on his dog's collar.

"Boys! Inside, right now!" Tom commanded.

But before anyone could move, another figure emerged from the shadows.

"Mom?" Johnny whispered.

Sure enough, Maria Cade came hesitantly walking out from around the side of the house, cigarette in hand. She regarded everyone cooly. Dally noted that she was keeping her distance from Robert. She had tried unsuccessfully to hide a black eye with make-up and Dally figured the two had been fighting again. Or perhaps she had been dragged here against her will.

"What are you doing here, Johnny? We been lookin' for you." Her voice was unsteady. Dally couldn't read her mannerisms. Was she drunk? No, but there was something strange about how she was spreaking, like she was reading lines in a play or something.

"Johnny will be staying with us now, Maria." Grandma Cade said, stepping fearlessly into the group, looking the most composed of all of them. She addressed Maria, but looked directly at Robert.

Robert glared at her, a vein popping out of the side of his neck. He forced himself to answer calmly. "Well, it's time for him to come home now. He's all through with his visit-"

"We want him to come home," Maria said in that same forced tone of voice.

"Come on, boy, your mother and I are gonna drive you back to Tulsa." Robert said, beads of sweat forming on his forehead.

"_Over my dead body_!" Dally added several explitives to emphasise his point. "You lying bastard! You don't care about him! Neither one of you-"

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Robert asked, turning towards Dally and starting to lose the ability to appear calm.

"Dallas enough! Go inside!" Tom demanded.

But Dally was not in the habit of taking orders from anyone. He took another step towards Robert.

"Dally, wait," Johnny's quiet voice interrupted. Something in his tone made Dally turn and look at him and when he did, he felt like he was going to be sick.

Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me... Dally thought, reading Johnny's expression. He looked like he was actually listening to them. Dally was well aware that this was something Johnny had always wanted... for his parents to give a damn where he was. And for them to have actually come all the way to Virginia to find him must have blown his mind.

"Johnny," he started slowly, "what are you thinkin' buddy? You are not buyin' into this, are you, kid?" Now Dally was starting to panic. "You can't go with them, Johnny, you are NOT going!" Dally started walking towards Johnny intending to rip him right out of Wendy's arms, drag him into the house and lock him up somewhere until Robert left.

"DALLAS!" Tom had given up using the diplomatic approach and grabbed Dally by both arms, completely restraining him. He led him to the porch steps.

Dally cursed a blue streak at him, but finally shut up when he realized that perhaps Tom was the best one to handle the situation.

Tom felt him stop struggling and finally let him go. Dally stayed beside Wendy and Johnny who had also moved much closer to the back door.

"C'mon, boy. It's time to go. You want to go home, now, don't ya?" Robert said, his eyes boring into Johnny, daring him to answer anything other than "yes". Dally wondered if he even remembered Johnny's name.

Wendy went into hysterics. "No, Johnny. NO! You stay away from him, do you hear me?" She clutched Johnny tightly, which Dally could tell was making Johnny incredibly nervous. He thought about making her let go of him, but Dally was starting to become concerned that Johnny might actually go with his parents.

"Shut up! He's my kid, and he's coming home with me!"

"Robert, it's time for you to leave." Grandma Cade said.

Then they all started yelling at once.

"Boy, you get in that car right now! You been here long enough, it's time to go home."

"You can't take him, he's not going!"

"Try and stop me! Johnny get in the car, now!"

"You bastard! You're not going to touch him again-"

"Shut the hell up! Johnny! You get in that car right now, or I'll-"

"Robert, let's go! I ain't gonna do this! Just leave him here, he don't wanna come-"

"Go wait in the car, you dumb broad!"

"No! Stay away from him! Tom, call the police!"

Johnny was looking very shaken. Dally knew that something had clicked in him when Maria pulled that "We want you to come home" crap. But he was still way too afraid of his father to go anywhre near him. Especially when he was yelling the way he was.

Idiot, Dally thought, watching Robert's ranting. You might have actually convinced him if you could act civilized for more than a minute.

"Go ahead, call the cops!" Robert yelled. He was so angry he was spitting when he talked. "He's my son, I can do what I want!"

And then the bomb dropped.

Amidst the yelling and screaming, Maria's voice was heard loud and clear. "He's not your son!" She spat out, her voice dripping with contempt for Robert Cade.

A deathly quiest fell over the group. Robert stood motionless staring at her. Then his face started to get red, his eyes narrowed. Dally was sure he was going to belt her a good one.

She took a shaky step back and looked somewhat satisfyied that she had everyone's attention. "That's right, Robert. He's not yours. And you know it!"

Dally's stomach lurched. Shut up! he thought. What are you doing? She had to know what a dangerous spot she had just put Johnny in. Had she done it on purpose? No, Dally thought, she actually thinks this was good timing. She thinks Johnny's safe and she's doing it to stick it to her old man. Dally was convinced that her primary goal was more to infuriate Robert than to endanger Johnny. In fact, he was beginning to believe that, in her own strange way, she might actually be trying to protect Johnny. Was that possible?

But on top of the danger, this was NOT how Johnny was supposed to hear about this. Dally glanced at him. Not surprisingly, he looked somewhat stunned.

Thoughts of young Christopher drowning in the river raced through Dally's mind. He heard a strange gasping sound coming from Wendy. She was fighting back tears and she was shaking and holding on tight to Johnny, watching Robert with terror filled eyes. "Maria!" she screamed. "Don't say things like that! Of course he's your son, Robert! He's your son... he's YOURS."

She remembers... Dally thought. She's thinking about Christopher, too.

Johnny was holding Wendy's arm and glancing at her with concern, at the same time, a perplexed expression crossed his face as he stared at the man he knew as his father.

Tom stepped forward. "Robert, you need to go."

Robert stepped forward too. "I ain't leavin' without my kid." He turned to Johhny. "Let's go, boy!"

Johnny shot him a defiant look.

Atta boy, Dally thought. Hold your ground, kid.

"I'm not going to ask you nicely again." Tom gave Robert the coldest, most threatening stare that Dally had ever seen on anyone in his life. He knew if he were Robert, he wouldn't mess with Tom.

Robert was silent for a moment. Then, fuming, he turned to Maria. "Get in the car!"

"Maria, you're welcome to stay here as well," Tom offered, with more than a hint of urgency in his voice.

"No," Maria snapped. "I don't need your charity. And I don't need you either!" she shouted at Robert. "You go back to Tulsa and leave that boy here. This is where he belongs." and she marched out into the darkness, without so much as a backwards glance at Johnny.

Dally watched as a crestfallen exression crossed Johnny's face as he watched his mother disappear around the corner of the house.

Dammit, Johnny, Dally thought. What does she matter?

Robert turned back to Tom. "You ain't heard the end of this. I'll have the police over here and that boy will be going back to Tulsa by morning, you got that?"

Wendy muffled a sob.

Tom didn't even blink.

Robert stormed out of the back yard, yelling for Maria, but she had apparently disappeared on him. Gravel crunched as the car roared off down the driveway.

They were all silent for a moment, except for Wendy's sniffling. Tom came and put his arm around her. Johnny wriggled out from Wendy's grasp and turned to look at the group. His eyes rested on Dally a bit longer than anyone else, his expression one of questioning disbelief. Dally took a sudden interest in the ground.

"Is it true?" he asked finally.

Grandma Cade turned to him. She looked at him for a moment, knowing this was not how she had intended to break this news to him, but realizing that now she had no other choice. "It's true. Robert Cade is not your father."

Dally knew that she had no concrete proof, but now that Maria had admitted it, things were looking pretty cut and dry.

Johnny remained, for the first time, completely expressionless. Dally couldn't even guess at what he was thinking. He didn't like that.

"Who is?" he demanded.

No one said anything.

Will had just reappeared in the doorway. "Is he gone? Did he leave? What's going on?"

Johnny ran up the steps, shoved past him and went inside, Coal following close at his heels.

"Johnny," Wendy cried.

"Johnny!" Dally ran after him. He caught up with him inside at the bottom of the stairs and grabbed his arm. "Johnny, wait!"

Johnny turned on him, his eyes blazing with anger in a way Dally had never seen. It actually made him take a step back. "You _knew_, didn't you?" he accused.

Dally didn't look away, but he didn't answer either.

"It's bad enough that they all lied to me," Johnny's voice broke. "But you?" The betrayal in his eyes was worse than anything Dally had ever felt.

Johnny took a step closer to Dally, his voice lowered angrily. "If that's the kind of friend you are then you might as well just go on back to Tulsa! My parents- or whoever they are screwed up my life plenty with out you pitching in!"

"Johnny," Dally said softly.

Johnny heard the hurt in his voice but he turned and stormed off to his room, slamming the door behind him.


	39. Betrayal

Dally stood at the bottom of the stairs and watched Johnny go into his room. He felt like he'd been kicked in the stomach.

Tom came into the room and put a hand on Dally's shoulder. "Let him cool off a minute and-"

Dally turned on him and swore. "I ain't listening to any more advice from any of you! I'm getting him out of here and you can all go to hell!"

"Dally, stop it," Tom said with an authority that actually made Dally pause long enough to hear what he had to say. No other adult would have been able to talk to him that way and actually get him to listen, but Tom...he knew the score. And right now, as furious as he was, Dally really didn't know what to do. This was a situation that he absoloutely could not handle on his own. Earlier, he had found himself wishing that Darry was there, but for now, Tom would have to do.

"Now listen," Tom continued. "You're right, we have to get Johnny out of here. Right now. Will, call the police. Just let them know what's going on-"

"What _is_ going on?" Will asked, frustrated that he had missed something that was obviously pretty important.

"The police!" Dally interrupted. "What, are you crazy? They'll give Johnny back to that asshole and-"

"This is a small town, Dally. We're pretty close with the chief, and right now I think it's safer if we have them involved. Wendy, take Grandma over to Matt's house and you two stay there until you hear from us. I'll have Carl send a patrol car around to keep an eye on things-"

Wendy practically flew out of the chair she'd been sitting in and grabbed Toms shirt. "NO! Do you hear me? No, I won't leave him alone! I won't let this happen again, not while there's a breath in me, I-"

"Wendy! Darling, you need to do this for Johnny. We need to get him away from Robert and we can't be traveling with too many people."

And you're a hysterical mess, Dally thought, watching Wendy with condern.

"Where are you taking him?" she demanded.

"Honestly, I don't know yet, just away from here."

"Can someone please explain to me what the hell is going on?" Will asked angrily.

Everyone turned to look at him. He really has no idea, Dally thought in disbelief. The only one who can actually shed positive proof on this thing has no idea what is going on.

Dally's eyes narrowed. Screw being tactful. Johnny didn't get the news broken to him gently, so niether would Will. "Congratulations," Dally said, glaring at him. "It's a boy."

Will just looked blankly at him. Tom groaned and rubbed his forhead.

"You don't get it, do you?" Dally continued. "Turns out that Johnny ain't Robert's kid... He's yours!"

The look on Will's face was exactly what Dally had been going for, but strangely, it didn't make him feel any better. He didn't dislike Will. He was just so angry...

Will sank into a chair, and just stared straight ahead.

"Wendy, let's go dear," Grandma Cade took her by the arm. She looked sadly at her son, knowing right now there was nothing she could do to help but get out of the way.

Wendy touched her brother's arm as she walked by him, her eyes full of tears.

"We'll call the police from Matt's house," Grandma Cade said to Tom as she and Wendy headed for the front door.

"Wait, I'm going to walk you out, " Tom said. "Dally, go get Johnny." Tom put his arm around Wendy and talking softly to her, lead her out the door.

Grandma Cade paused in front of Dally on her way out. Dally wouldn't meet her gaze. He was so angry about how everything had happened, but he couldn't be angry at her because they had both been keeping the same secret. There wasn't much to say, but there was a question burning in the back of his mind that all their little "church discussions" was making him think about. He wanted her to know that stuff like this was why he wouldn't go to church... why he didn't believe in God. So, without looking directly at her, he asked, "God's everywhere, huh?" he chewed at his lip wondering how she would answer this one. "Where do you think he is right now?"

Without missing a beat, she answered quietly, "Waiting for you to ask for help." And with that, she headed quietly for the front door as Dally stared after her.

Now Dally was alone in the room with Will. Dally glanced at him. He had never looked more like Johnny than he did at that moment. His eyes were full of worry, fear, and guilt. Dally felt a sudden urge to say soemthing to him. Anything. He had been so angry, and he still was, but he felt this whole family trying to protect Johnny with everything they had. They loved him. They all loved him and would very obviously go to great lengths to look out for his best interests. And because of that, Dally couldn't stay mad at any of them.

But he didn't know what to say to Will, so he just turned around and headed up the stairs.

He stopped at Johnny's closed door. "Johnny,"

There was no answer. He didn't have time for this. He tried the knob and was not surprised to find it locked.

Dally swore. He thought about kicking the door down, but he knew it would take a lot to get through the construction of the old Federal Style framework. "Johnny, knock it off! We've got to get you out of here! You don't know the whole story yet..."

Dally let that sink in. Johnny didn't know the whole story. Johnny had no idea what kind of danger he was in. _Johnny didn't know..._

With a sinking feeling of premonition, Dally ran down the hall to Wendy and Tom's room.

He poked his head out the window and he saw Wendy's car turning onto the road.

And he could just faintly make out a figure running across the front yard in the opposite direction.

Dally swore loudly and smaked his head against the window by accident, which made him swear again.

He went running back downstairs and through the front door, not sure if anyone saw him or not.

He ran in the direction he'd seen Johnny going and spotted him heading for the road. Johnny hadn't seen him yet so Dally cut diagonally through the front yard and intercepted Johnny at the neighbor's mailbox, several yards down the street.

He jumped out and grabbed Johnny by the shirt. Johnny was startled at first, but then Dally saw the anger flare up again and he thought for a moment that Johnny might actually try to hit him. Dally set his jaw and looked Johnny straight in the eye.

Johnny backed down, but the look of anger still burned in the usually gentle brown eyes.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"To find my parents."

"What! Are you crazy? Johnny, what are you thinking?"

"I ain't gonna live with a bunch of liars! I'm going home."

"You'd rather live with a couple of drunks, one of which beats the tar out of you every time you turn around?"

"I heard what he said," Johnny said, ignoring Dally's comment. "He ain't taking me anywhere, I'm going home!" Johnny turned and started walking away.

"Johnny, get back to the house!"

"Leave me alone, Dal. You can't tell me what to do anymore." Johnny's voice had lost it's edge now. He just sounded really sad.

"Johnny, I ain't lettin' you do this!"

"What are you gonna do?" he turned around and looked tiredly at Dally. "I don't care what you say any more. You lied to me just like the rest of them. My parents came back for me because they want me to come home."

"Bullshit! Johnny-" Dally was furious.

"You don't get it. Just because your old man don't even care where you are doesn't mean-"

Dally took Johnny by both arms and got right in his face. "My old man never killed anyone!"

Johnny's jaw dropped, but Dally kept going, his voice desperate and insistant. "I swear to God, Johnny, if you don't come back to the house _right now_, I will knock you out and drag you there- I am _NOT_ letting you near him, you don't have any idea how much trouble you're in right now! He'll kill you, _do you understand me_?"

"What are you talking about?" Johnny stepped back, his eyes haunted and hurt. "How many more secrets are you keeping?"

"Johnny," Dally rubbed his forehead in exasperation. "Just come on back to the house and I'll tell you everything I know... Please!"

But Johnny's attention was drawn elsewhere. Even from a distance, they could both hear the horses whineying in distress. Johnny's eyes widened in horror.

Dally whirled around to see smoke rising from one of the barns.

The two boys took off at a dead sprint.


	40. Gone

Johnny and Dally ran to the barn as fast as they could. Neither one of them considering the danger, they ran inside and started opening the stalls. The horses bolted out into the pasture, more than one of them nearly trampling Johnny and Dally in their fear and desperation to get out.

"Dal!" Johnny shouted from the back corner of the barn that was starting to fill with smoke.

Dally ran to where Johnny was trying to pry a loose board off of the wall.

"What are you doing?" Dally yelled. "C'mon, we gotta get out of here! The horses are out!"

Johnny kept working at the board untill it came loose and then Dally saw what he was after. Five tiny kittens stared up at them emitting tiny cries of fear that they could barely hear over the crackling of the fire.

The boys scooped up the kittens and ran for the door. Choking on smoke, they headed away from the burning barn and back towards the smaller shed near the back of the propery where Tom and Will stored some gardening tools.

They hadn't gotten far when an adult cat came running past them heading right towards the burning horse barn.

Johnny swore.

"What's that cat doing?" Dally yelled.

"It's the mother." Johnny started to hand his kittens over to Dally.

Dally stopped him. "No, here, take these." he dumped his kittens into Johnny's arms ignoring his protests. "Put them over by the shed door and go get the hose." Dally said remembering there was a spicket and a fairly long hose behind the shed where Tom and Will would bathe the horses.

Johnny struggled with the five kittens and eventually was able to place them all safely in front of the shed. Then he ran around to the back to find the hose.

Dally chased the mother cat all the way to the barn and right back to where the kittens had been. He could barely see anymore, the barn was so full of smoke, but he knew where she'd gone. He reached into the hole in the wall and grabbed the cat who promptly bit him. Realizing her kittens were no longer in the wall, she escaped Dally's grasp and went running back outside.

Dally followed, nearly bumping into Tom on his way out.

"Dally! What are you doing out here? Are you all right? Where's Johnny?"

"By the shed, he's getting the hose," Dally said glancing towards the shed. He didn't see Johnny at the moment, but he saw Will around the other side of the barn throwing buckets of water from the horse trough onto the flames. He ran over to help and Tom followed.

Dally heard sirens. Tom and Will must have seen the flames from the house and called the fire department.

"What happened?" Will asked, franticly.

"I don't know," Dally shouted to be heard over the roaring fire and the approaching sirens "We were talking, and we heard the horses and-"

He glanced back over his shoulder towards the shed. What the hell was taking Johnny so long? Dally threw down the bucket he'd been using to help douse the flames and ran off towards the smaller building.

"Johnny?" he called. He saw the kittens cowering by the doorway. The mother cat who must have heard them crying was there too. She hissed at Dally as he ran by.

Dally hurried to the back of the shed where the water spicket was.

What he saw behind the old structure turned his insides to ice.

Maria Cade was lying sprawled out on the ground. Her lifeless eyes stared up at the sky and a trickle of blood oozed from the single gunshot wound in the middle of her head.

Dally looked up in time to see a beat up old car speeding off down the road.

For what seemed like an eternity, Dally couldn't move. He just stood there frozen. Tom had been right behind him though and grabbed his arm.

"Go back to the house!" He ordered. "WILL!" He yelled, running back towards the barn, Dally in tow. "WILL! Let the firemen get it, get in the truck, NOW!"

Dally followed them.

Tom turned to him, still running. "Dally, NO! Go to the house!"

Dally just looked at him, he was too afraid to be angry, but not too afraid to be defiant.

Tom realized quickly that he was fighting a losing battle he didn't have time for. Dally was going with them come hell or high water. He cringed as Dally climbed into the truck beside them.

Tom was telling Will what he and Dally had seen as he sped down the road in the truck. The two of them were talking franticly as Dally consciously reminded himself to suck in air.

Robert Cade was a murderer. There was no denying it now. The body behind the shed was no accident. And now he had Johnny. And apparently, a loaded gun.


	41. The Chase

"...and when we catch up to them, we're gonna have to figure out how to get him to pull over- maybe we'll have to follow them till they run out of gas-" Tom was thinking out loud. His voice was calm and rational, but the volume of his tone hinted at how grave the situation was.

Dally listened to all this, knowing that there was no easy way to get Robert to pull over. If he even realized they were following him, he might just shoot Johnny right on the spot. If...

"Dally?"

Tom and Will both looked over at Dally. He was white as a ghost and breathing raggedly.

"Oh, man, Dally... you ok, kid?" Tom asked, glancing past Will who was sitting in the middle.

Dally looked up and before glancing at Tom, he caught the expression on Will's face. Will was near panic. Dally could read it easily, it was the same look Johnny would get when he was really scared. But coming from Will, it did nothing but worry Dally even more. Will was the adult. Will was supposed to have everything under control. Dally wished he hadn't looked at him.

Desperately, Dally looked past him to Tom and gained a shred of relief from his face. Tom was in control. He would fix this. He had to. Didn't he?

Tom held Dally's gaze a moment before glancing back to the road. "We'll get him, Dally. He'll be all right."

But Dally sensed his doubt. Johnny was in serious trouble. A thought occured to him then, a thought that chilled his blood and turned his stomach. A thought that terrified him more than anything he had ever experienced in his life. Johnny might be dead.

A strange noise escaped Dally's throat as he gripped the door.

"Dally," Tom's voice resonated the commanding presence that Dally needed. "Dally, it's all right."

They all saw the tail lights up ahead. No one spoke for a long time, they just followed the car from a safe distance.

Finally, Dally couldn't take the silence. "Where is he taking him?" he started out quietly, but the panic was quick to rise into his chest, blurring his thoughts and cutting off his air supply. "Where is that bastard taking him? What are we going to do?" Dally was yelling now.

"Settle down! We're gonna follow him for a minute.We can't make any sudden moves. He's probably headed back to Tulsa, though I don't know what route he's taking."

Inside the car Johnny sat shivering in the passenger seat. He had never been more afraid of his father than he was then. His father... a murderer? How had Dally known that? What did Dally mean? Johnny was so confused... and so horrified. He hadn't seen him do it, but he'd seen the body behind the shed. He'd seen the gun pointed at his face. He knew what had happened.

He wanted to cry. He wanted to just curl up in a ball and sob. His eyes began to blur as he thought of his mother. She had never seemed to care about him, but she'd come back for him, hadn't she? And his father had... His father had killed her... Johnny's mother was dead. Johnny let a soft sob escape, but quickly controlled himself when Robert shot a look at him.

"You cryin', boy? I'll give you somethin' to cry about when I get you home!" He looked back at the road, his hands gripping the steering wheel with a fierce determination. His breathing was angry and loud.

So that's where they were going. Johnny tried to stop shaking. He was getting so scared. He wished that he'd never left the house. He wished he'd never said horrible things to Dally.

"That damn lying whore!" Robert said to the windsheild. "She got what was coming to her!" He smiled slightly then, as if satisfied that he's done the right thing.

There was a long silence. A long silence during which Johnny had time to build up so much panic that he couldn't even think straight anymore. He had to get out of the car. He had to! He unlocked the door and opened it, and of course Robert grabbed at him, dragging him back into the car. But in this small amount of time, which to Johnny had seemed like an eternity, the car had gone off the road. Robert was unable to stop it from careening over a steep embankment.

Dally, Tom and Will watched in horror as the car in front of them started to swerve all over the road, finally going right over the edge into the rushing river below.

"JOHNNY!" Dally reached for the door handle.

"Will, GRAB HIM!" Tom ordered.

Will held Dally inside the truck as Tom drove towards the spot where the car had gone over the edge.

Dally and Will jumped out before Tom even stopped the truck. But Tom was right behind them as they started climbing down the side of the steep wall of rocks. They could see the back end of the car sticking out of the water.

Dally lost his balance several times. The rocks were slippery and he was moving too fast. But he didn't care. At one point he heard Tom yelling to Will, something about going back to the truck. Dally glanced back and saw Will headed back up the cliff. Dally was momentarily shocked by this, but too focused on Johnny to care that Will was too much of a coward to save his own kid.

The car was sinking fast. Johnny couldn't believe he was still alive, let alone conscious. The door wouldn't open, and had he not been more afraid of Robert Cade than he was of dying, Johnny might not have actually had the sense to roll down the window to get out. He took a deep breath and unrolled the window. Water rushed into the sinking vehicle as Johnny pulled himself out and swam to the surface. He struggled against the waves and narrowly avoided really hurting himself on a few rocks, but he managed drag himself out of the deep water onto the bank. He was choking on water when he heard someone calling his name.

"There!" Tom shouted. "JOHNNY!"

Johnny saw them and tried to stand shakily.

Dally felt some relief in the fact that Johnny was at least able to pull himself up. He was very obviously hurt, but he could stand.

And then Dally's relief was shattered. Several yards beyond Johnny, Robert Cade was pulling himself out of the water. He stumbled a few times but he too was able to stand, and he started walking towards Johnny.

Johnny didn't see him. It was pretty dark out, but the moon illuminated things well enough to make out the gun that Robert had pulled from his waist band.

Dally was filled with terror. He ignored the shouts from Tom coming from behind him. The only thing he was aware of was that he had to get between Johnny and that gun.

He shouted at Robert to draw his attention. Robert turned towards him glaring. Dally reached for Johnny as he approched. Everything was a blur from there. There was yelling and shouting and then a white hot pain in his arm. As he fell to the ground he heard Johnny screaming, "Dally! DALLY!"

Dally's vision burred and he fought to stay conscious. His head throbbed and ached from whenre he had fallen. He could hear shouting and a struggle just a few feet away. And then he heard barking in the distance.

Coal? Oh, no, Dally thought. How? No, that was crazy. It had to be some other dog.

He pushed himself up, pain shooting through his bleeding arm and radiating across his entire body. Through blurred vision he watched as Tom and Robert battled for possesion of the gun.

Robert had a hold of Johnny with one hand and was trying to fend off Tom with the other. Tom was finally able to get Robert to drop the gun and let go of Johnny, but Robert kicked him hard when he did, knocking Tom back momentarily. Seeing his window, Robert lunged for Johnny, slamming him down to the water.

Dally saw Johnny's head hit the rock. Johnny didn't look conscious and he was far enough into the water for the waves to actually start pulling him back into the river. Tom went for Johnny and when he did, Robert regained possesion of the gun.

Dally forced himself up, ignoring the intense pain and ran towards Robert. But the gun was already aimed at Johnny, and Dally was too far away to stop him. From behind Dally came a loud snarl and a blurr of black. Like a fast moving shadow Coal lunged at Robert's arm, and knocked him down, just as he pulled the trigger.

Johnny was in the water now and so was Tom, the waves tumbling over both of them as Tom tried desperately to get to Johnny.

Without a second thought, Dally went in after them. It wasn't long before he realized that his arm was not going to allow him to swim. Seconds before being sucked underwater, Dally heard another loud gun shot.

To the reviewers:

Hahukum Konn: Sorry about the cliff hangers! I can't help it. Glad you liked the plot twist! I was hoping to surprise a few people with that.

lynneanne: I know! I'm sorry, the previous chapter was WAY too short, but I needed to give you something! I have several pre-written chapters coming up that are long, I promise!

rebelgirl4ever: Thanks so much for reading! I'm so glad you're enjoying the story!

JamesDeanismygod: So glad you're still reading! I will try to keep the updates coming as fast as possible, but I have to make sure the chapters don't suck! Thanks for the review!

FlaminSquirrelz: Appologies for the many cliff hangers. Have to keep you all on your toes! Thanks for reading!

soulsisterofthedead: Thanks so much for the comments! I do appreciate knowing what the readers think of the story. I'm trying to keep Dally in character as much as possible and I often worry that I'm not doing that. He's definitely different than he is in the book, but this is how I think he'd react to Johnny leaving. I think we'd see a different side of him. He reacted pretty drasticly to Johnny dying, so I figure his behavior might change a little even if Johnny just left town instead of died. As for keeping track off it all... the more chapters I add, the harder that is becoming! Fortunately, I have the ending figured out, so I know where I'm going. I'm still doing a little work on HOW to get there, but it will come. Thank you so much for reading!

pony's girl : Thanks so much for reading! Glad you're enjoying the story!

Sodapop's#1gurl: I really appreciate your reviews! Thank you!

Sarah126: I'm so glad that you like the story so much! Thanks for all the reviews!

Liberty2005: Ha ha! Thanks! So glad you like it!

Coca-Cola3012: Don't die before I finish the story! I will try to update ASAP!

ivy45663: Thanks! I will try to keep the updates coming!

Kimmerkay: Thank you so much, I'm so glad you always take the time to review, I really appreciate it!

WhatGraceHasGiven: You are too kind! Thanks for the encouragement, hope you enjoyed this chapter!

fire stormwing: Thank you for your kind review! I'm glad you liked the songs and felt that they added to the story. I'm always glad to hear that there are people who have not been following the story that will take the time read it start to finish.

Chica: You are VERY perceptive. I don't know if anyone else caught that yet... the whole "Coal imagery" thing... very good! Yes, that was intentional and more to come on that. Thanks for the long reviews. I love reading them and hearing about what you think of the story. Keep reading. It's a ways off and I can't say too much about it, but I think you will find the ending very interesting.


	42. Lead Me Home

Disclaimer : I don't own either one of these songs or the Outsiders.

_Through many dangers, toils and snares_

_I have already come._

_T'is grace that brought me safe thus far, _

_And grace will lead me home._

**John Newton "Amazing Grace"**

_There the rainstorm came over me_

_And I felt my spirit - break_

_I had lost, all of my belief , you see_

_And realized my mistake_

_But time threw a prayer to me_

_And all around me - became still_

**Seal "Love's Divine"**

The moon was full and bright, but ominous clouds were starting to roll across the sky. Dally was hoarse from coughing up the water in his lungs and he was cold. Freezing cold. But he was grateful that the cold had numbed the pain of the gun shot wound in his shoulder. When he was finally able to get a gasp of air between coughs, he opened his eyes and he could faintly make out a figure sitting on the gound in front of him.

"Johnny?" He was surprised at the weakness of his own voice.

"Nope," said a vauguely familiar voice.

Dally's vision cleared and he was startled to see an older, bedraggled looking man with graying hair and a slight beard. Dally squinted. It couldn't be... but it was! It was Joe, the bum he'd met on the train the first time he'd come to Virginia.

"What are you doing here?" Dally asked, dumbfounded.

"This is where I got off the train. Same as you." Joe looked down at him and gave him a smile. "Does that friend that you were checking up on live in the river?"

Dally just stared at him in disbelief. He was too exhausted and too surprised to say anything.

"Or did you forget that guardian angels fly, they don't swim!" Joe said with a chuckle.

"Why do you keep saying that? Do I look like an angel to you? " Dally growled in annoyance, then started coughing again, the short utterance being far too much effort for his lungs.

Joe laughed.

"Where... where's Johnny?" Dally asked as the events of the evening suddenly began to replay themselves in his mind.

Joe just looked at him.

Dally forced himself up. He'd been in bar fights, rumbles, and he'd had hangovers he thought he'd never recover from. But he had never felt as bad as he did right then. He hurt _everywhere_. And he figured if he ever warmed up, he'd hurt even more. He started walking away from Joe, then he paused. "Did you see Johnny? He was in the river... I don't know if he was... conscious," Dally said shakily, looking over his shoulder at the old man.

Joe shook his head.

Dally closed his eyes and took a breath.

"Sounds like you got some prayin' to do, son."

Dally glared at Joe. He started to say something, but then he just shook his head and turned away. He didn't have time for this. "...gotta find him," Dally said weakly and hurried off.

"You just remember what I told you..." Joe called after him.

Dally kept walking. But at the same time, he thought about what Joe had told him on the train... that God had everything in his hands... did that moron have any idea what he'd just been through? After a minute, he turned around to look at Joe, thinking that maybe he'd give him a piece of his mind after all, tell him how crazy he thought he was. But Joe was gone.

"Probably imagined him in the first place," Dally mumbled, rubbing his eyes. He was definitely out of it. Probably out of it enough to imagine an old man sitting on the banks of the river. But then again, Dally thought, who pulled me out?

He shook the thoughts from his head and kept walking, all the while calling for Johnny. Calling and searching, but there was no sign of him. He's gone, Dally thought miserably.

But maybe not, a little voice inside kept saying. Maybe not. That voice kept his feet moving, kept him from dropping to the ground and just laying there till he died. It was the little voice of hope, but it was getting quieter and quieter.

He walked for a long time and every step took him deeper into the realization that Johnny might be gone for good. Johnny might be dead. When Johnny had left for Virginia, Dally had been devastated. But this... this was unbearable. Johnny couldn't be dead, he couldn't be! The gang had always said things to Johnny like "We couldn't get along without you," and now Dally realized how true that actually was. What had he done? He had let Johnny come out here. He had kept a terrible secret from him. Oh, no... Dally began to think. This is _my_ fault._ I_ did this.

He was starting to lose control. This was something he just couldn't handle. He had started running without even realizing it, not knowing where he was going or why he was running, but he ran until his legs gave out and he collapsed on a sidewalk in the middle of a town. Where was he? He didn't recognize anything. But when he looked up, he almost laughed.

He was lying at the bottom of the stairs of a church. Looking up at the steeple, it all came rushing back to him: the preacher talking in the church in Tulsa while Dally waited outside the open window, Joe on the train telling him that it didn't matter if he believed in God or not because God believed in him, all his arguements with Grandma Cade and her last words of wisdom when he'd asked her where God was now-"He's waiting for you to ask for help," she'd said.

"Fine," Dally said suddenly out loud. "Fine!" he yelled, standing up ignoring the searing pain in his body. "Is this what you want from me? You want me to admit that I need help? Well I need your damn help! There! And now you're just going to do nothing, like you always do!" He knew when he started yelling that what he'd said to Joe wasn't true. He did believe in God. He just wasn't sure if he liked God all that much. In Dally's eyes, God played favorites. The rich got the lucky breaks and the greasers were left to fend for themselves. Why would now be any different?

He realized that he looked like a raving lunatic, but there was no one around to see him, it was too late at night. And he really didn't care at this point if there was anyone watching.

He also realized his sanity was slowly slpping away due to a combination of exhaustion, cold, pain and intense fear. He dropped down to the sidewalk again. He laid his head on the cold concrete, his vision blurred again and his voice became a whisper. "Please don't let Johnny be dead... please...I can't do this. I can't..."

A clap of thunder made him open his eyes. The rain started soft and gentle at first and slowly grew more intense, until Dally was actually kneeling in a puddle. As usual, Dally thought, this is how God helps.

But when the lightning flashed again, he caught sight of the street sign on the corner. Goshen Street...He knew where he was! He was around the corner from Matt's clinic! He knew how to get back to the house from here! He looked back at the church for a moment, a little surprised, and then he got up. And he started running. He ran as fast as the pain would let him. His lungs burned and he kept coughing but he didn't slow down until he reached the porch steps.

He began to climb and he collapsed again when he reached the top, making a loud bang as he fell against the metal of the screen door. The front door flew open and Wendy gasped.

"Dally? Oh, Dally! Where were you?"

Dally tried to shift his weight so she was able to open the screen door, but he just couldn't stand.

Wendy carefully pushed her way out and got down beside Dally, putting her arms around him. She was trembling and she'd been crying. Her voice still quivered.

"Where have you been?" she asked surpressing a sob. "Tom and Matt are out looking for you, and the police... we were all so afraid!" she pulled back and took Dally's face in her hands.

Dally was too weak to protest. Why were they worried about him? Why weren't they out looking for Johnny? He just gazed at her with haunted eyes, afraid to ask... afraid to know.

"Oh, my goodness... Oh, Dally, you're bleeding-" All the color drained from her face.

Dally realized he must have been a sight.

"Dally come inside honey, we have to call the doctor-" she started to try to help him up.

"No-" Dally tried to push her away. He wasn't going anywhere until he knew what had happened to Johnny.

Wendy just started to cry again. She looked so devastated, so torn apart... that had to mean something terrible had happened.

She pleaded with him to try to stand and started calling for Will. Grandma Cade appeared in the doorway and came out to the porch too.

Dally swallowed hard and closed his eyes. He had to know.

"Did... did you find him?" he was surprised to hear his voice break. He was afraid to hear the answer.


	43. Filling in the Blanks

Wendy stopped crying and looked blankly at him. "Find him?" She asked, truly puzzled. "Find who? You mean Johnny?"

Dally looked at her like she was nuts.

The look of confusion on Wendy's face slowly turned to realization. "We never lost him, Dally! Tom pulled him out of the water very shortly after he went in. He's upstairs!"

Dally closed his eyes, letting Wendy's words sink in. Don't start crying don't start crying don't start... "Is he all right?" Dally's voice was just a whisper.

Wendy's gentle eyes were full of concern. "Well, Tom had a bit of a scare for a few moments at first. He wasn't breathing when he first pulled him out," Wendy's voice caught and she struggled to keep the tears back. Dally knew she was remembering Christopher.

"He's very sick right now and he needs a lot of rest, but he's going to be fine," Grandma Cade reassured.

Dally clenched his jaw and steadied himself. He was so close to tears right now, but there was no way he was going to start crying in front of a bunch of people. Johnny was ok... he couldn't believe it. He didn't believe it. They were just telling him that because he was such a mess right now.

"I want to see him!" Dally demanded.

Will, having heard his sister calling him appeared at the door.

"Dally?" Will came bursting out the screen door, much less carefully than the ladies had done. He dropped to his knees and hugged Dally, just like Wendy had. And Dally realized that he'd been crying too.

What was with these people? "Knock it off!" Dally pushed him away.

Will was laughing with relief and wiping his eyes.

"I want to see Johnny!" Dally said again, still not fully believing that Johnny was upstairs.

"Right now, you need to see a doctor. Johnny is sleeping, the doctor had him sedated-"

"The doctor? How long have I been gone?"

"Hours." Will filled in.

"Sedated? Why is he sedated?" Dally asked, all the while struggling to get up.

"Well," Will began hesitantly, helping Dally stand. "He... was actin' all funny when he finally came to. Wouldn't talk to anybody, wouldn't look at any of us-"

"He was in shock," Grandma Cade took over. "Dr. Flynn felt he needed rest and rest is what he's getting."

Will shook his head. "There's more to it than that, Ma. That look in his eyes-"

He's probably still really ticked off at everyone, Dally thought as they all made their way back into the house.

"I am sure there is a lot more to it than that, but right now he needs his rest, and you need a doctor," she said insistantly looking at Dally.

"I ain't going to the hospital,"

"You don't have to," Wendy said. "Doctor Flynn will come to the house. He's an old family friend."

"I want to see Johnny."

Grandma Cade looked at him sternly. "You need to see the doctor first!"

Wendy nodded in agreement.

"Well go call him then!" Will broke in. "It ain't gonna hurt him any to wait upstairs with Johnny. And call the police too. Tell them to call off the search."

Wendy shook her head, obviously not liking the idea of Dally climbing the stairs. But she went off to the kitchen and did as Will asked.

Grandma Cade shook her head and masked a smile, recognizing a stubborness that she couldn't win against.

Will helped Dally up the stairs and at the top, Dally shook him off. "I can make it from here."

"Ok," Will said, letting him go. "He's in your room, Dally. We thought it would be warmer for him with the fireplace..."

Dally started down the hall. "Your" room they called it. Like he lived there. He found that amusing.

"And Dally, he... he's got a fever and a few cuts and bruises... just so you know. And... he probably won't wake up for you, at least not for a while." Will looked drained. Drained and really shanken up.

"Ok," Dally nodded and turned back agian.

"Dally-"

Dally looked annoyed.

"Wait a minute," Will said opening up the hall closet. He pulled out a small towel. "Here..." he pressed the towel up against Dally's wounded shoulder.

"Ow!"

"Sorry, here- hold it like this. No, press down. It'll help keep it from bleeding so much. You'll pass out before you ever make it down the hall."

"Well, if you'd quit stopping me..." Dally took a few steps back. "Thanks," he mumbled and then proceded down the hall to what was refered to now as "his" room.

There was still doubt hovering in the back of his mind. Will seemed to want to tell him something else, but Dally was only interested in seeing that Johnny was ok. He still truly expected to walk into an empty room.

He opened the door and looked over to the bed and all his doubt was washed away. There, lying in a tangled mess of sheets and blankets, hair standing in six different directions, was Johnny Cade... sound asleep.

Dally entered the room without a sound. He quietly went over to the bed just stood there, staring at the sleeping form on the mattress, willing himself to believe his own eyes. After a moment, he reached down and gently pulled at the sheets, attempting to straighten the confusing mess Johnny's bed had become. It took some doing, but eventually he was able to pull some blankets up over Johnny's shoulders.

Just as Will had predicted, Johnny didn't stir.

Dally looked at the sleeping boy in front of him. A tightness formed in his throat and the simple act of breathing was no longer so simple...He gently touched the side of Johnny's face. It burned with fever, just like they had all said. But he was alive. Suddenly, Dally could barely feel his legs. He began to shake. And then he sank to the floor, put his head on Johnny's pillow and broke down.

The day Johnny had left, he'd shed a few tears and that had seemed foreign to him. But crying the way he was now was something he had never done in his life. He had really thought Johnny was gone. He had thought Johnny was dead. And that thought had nearly killed him. He had hit rock bottom. The only shred of hope he had to cling to was that he hadn't seen a body. Dally realized then that he didn't care about anything else in the world but that kid. Johnny had been what was keeping him alive all that time in Tulsa where he lived a life of bitter hopelesness.

He was so over come with relief at seeing Johnny lying there, sleeping, that he almost forgot that maybe he had someone to thank for this.

He choked back a sob and got hold of himself. He lifted his head off the pillow slightly and looked out the window at the stars. Then he laid his head back down, still staring out the window. At that moment, his eyes softened and lost their coldness, and his voice was not that of a tough hood from the city streets. It was the sincere voice of a scared, 17 year old kid.

"Thanks," he said quiety. His eyes closed and he gave in to the exhaustion.

He didn't know how much later it was when he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Dally? The doctor is here. He wants to take a look at your arm." Wendy said, smoothing his hair.

He had given up trying to avoid her touch. Some people were born athletes, some artists, Wendy was a mom. It was in her blood and she could not be detered from her mothering. So Dally accepted it. And quietly enjoyed it in some distant corner of his mind that he would not admit existed.

He looked up at her tiredly.

"Come on," She smiled warmly at him, guiding him to stand.

He watched as she leaned over and kissed Johnny's forehead and touched his face with a look of concern.

Dally suddenly realized that it hadn't been long that he'd been sleeping. His face was still wet and while Wendy's back was turned, he hurriedly wiped his eyes and went to the door. He was starting to feel dizzy. He had no desire to to see a doctor, but things were bad enough for him right now that he was ready to admit that he didn't really have a choice.

He glanced back at Johnny one more time before he opened the door, just to make sure he hadn't been seeing things.

Once in the hallway, Dally swayed slightly and leaned his hand against the wall.

Wendy took note of this and lead him to Johnny's room. "C'mon. You are not going down the stairs. Dr, Flynn? Could you come here?"

Dally sat down at the desk in Johnny's room. There were pictures of horses and animals and drawings of Corvettes. Dally smiled a little, shaking his head. That kid had quite a hidden talent.

Dr. Flynn came in carrying a large black bag, just like the doctors on TV, Dally noted.

The bullet had ripped across the skin of Dally's upper arm leaving a very deep gash that Dally felt was not horribly serious, other than the fact that it hurt like all get out and wouldn't stop bleeding. And it was for those two reasons alone that he was allowing the doctor anywhere near him.

He looked Dally over, put some horrible stuff on the gaping wound on his arm and gave him the option of stitches at the hospital or right there.

Dally got the impression that everyone, including the doctor was very opposed to him not going to the hospital, but he made it very clear that he was not leaving the house. So he gritted his teeth and let the doctor stitch the gash.

"All right," said Dr. Flynn shaking his head when he was through. "It is very much against my better judgement to leave you here. You need a lot of rest and you need to keep clean bandages on your arm. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, yeah..."

Dr. Flynn closed up his bag and headed for the door.

Dally's expression softend. "Hey, Doc?"

Dr. Flynn turned around.

"How... how's the kid?"

"Johnny?" he adjusted his glasses and cleared his throat. "Johnny will be fine in a few days or so... physically."

Dally looked expectantly at him, knowing there was more.

"Not knowing him all that well, and not having spoken much with him yet, I can't make a prediction as to how he will deal with this emotionally. He's been through some very traumatic events."

Dally couldn't help but note the fact that Dr. Flynn's expression was somewhat scolding.

Dally started to glare, but then suddenly realized, he's right. I did this. I could have stopped this, but I let this happen. Johnny's lucky to be alive right now. Dally just looked down.

But Dr. Flynn's look of disdain was in no way directed at Dally.

Dally looked up in surprise when Dr. Flynn put a gentle hand on his shoulder and said, "When he wakes up, I think he'll be awfully glad to see you."

Yeah, Dally thought, remembering how angry Johnny had been with him at the beginning of this whole nightmare. He'll be glad to see me all right. Probably so he can tell me where to go.

"You take good care of him... and yourself too, you hear me? Give me a call if you're not feeling at least a little better after a good night's sleep, all right?"

Dally nodded and Dr. Flynn showed himself out.

Dally sat there a moment, thinking things over. Thinking over everything that had happened. Remembering... and then he thought of something. The last thing he remembered before waking up on the banks of the river was hearing a gun shot. As he mulled over that thought, something terrible occured to him. He looked up just as Will was poking his head in the door.

"Everything all right?" he asked.

Dally just looked at him for a moment. "Where... where's Coal?"

"Huh? Oh, he wouldn't leave Johnny alone, so he's over at Matt's. I don't think Johnny was too happy about that, but the kid needs to get some sleep," Will said tiredly.

And so do you, Dally thought as his stomach finally began to relax after the scare. That would have just put Johnny over the edge, Dally thought. But if not Coal, then who?

"I heard a gun shot," Dally said to Will. Will seemed to know exactly what he was talking about, even though Dally didn't elaborate any further.

Will looked at the floor. "Yeah," he said, his voice barely a whisper.

"What happened?"

There was a long silence during which Dally became very doubtful that Will would answer him. And then finally he looked up, but not directly at Dally.

"I killed him." he said finally.

"Who!"Dally asked.

"Robert. I shot him." Will looked completely devastated.

But Dally remembered that Will had disappeared. "What are you talking about, you weren't even there!"

"I went back to the truck for the rifle. I was there." Will was leaning weakly against the door frame. "I was there just in time to see him pointng that gun at Johnny. I didn't mean to kill him... I had to." His voice was strained.

Dally couldn't believe what he was hearing. Robert Cade was dead. So was Maria. It was a day he'd actually hoped for, but couldn't imagine actually happening. But this wasn't exactly how he had pictured it.

Will looked positively sick. He was rambling on, "I had to, he would have killed Johnny. I couldn't let him-"

"Will!" Dally grabbed his arm, demanding his attention. "You did what you had to do, man. You did the right thing." You did us all a favor! Dally wanted to yell that out loud.

Will just stared, a lost, hopeless look in his eyes. So much like Johnny. He looked at the floor again, finally and rubbed his forhead. "Go sit with him, will ya? He's gonna want to see you when he wakes up, not me."

Dally watched him walk down the hall and down the stairs. He didn't know what to say, so he just let him go. And then he crossed the hall to his room to stand watch over Johnny.

**Ok, all you faithfull reviewers...** here is your reward for taking the time out of your busy schedules to write me comments about what you're thinking. NO CLIFFHANGER! And there were SO many spots that I thought about leaving you hanging... As a double reward, the following chapter will be full of angst and Dally and Johnny "bonding moments" as "Booklover" calls it. It's almost all written, so keep an eye out, it might be posted fairly soon!


	44. Friends Again

The storm that had started earlier continued. Rumbling thunder rolled across the hills and fields, booming louder and louder as it approached. A hard, driving rain and fierce wind followed right along side. Dally stood quietly by the window in the room where Johnny slept, watchinig it all. This was the kind of storm Dally loved. It's strength and violence fascinated him. No matter how tough he thought he was, nature could always show him up. Dally cupped his hands over the glass, trying to block the light from the fireplace and hoping to see at least a little bit of the storm through the black curtain of night that had descended over the fields and forests of the Cade property. He glanced briefly at Johnny who appeared to still be sleeping deeply. For that, Dally was relieved. Because althought this was his kind of show, he didn't think Johnny would enjoy it.

He knew he should have been sleeping too. He was still feeling horribly queezy and he ached all over. The doctor had given him some pain medication, but he'd been too stubborn to take it. He knew it would make him fall asleep, and right now he needed to be awake for Johnny. Dally figured he could sleep later.

He watched for several minutes as the lightning bolts danced in the blackness, occasionally lighting the area to the point where it almost looked like day. In those brief moments, he watched as the branches of the trees bowed down to the merciless wind.

Then a crash of thunder came that actually shook the house.

In Johnny's dream he heard the gun shot again and again. He saw Dally fall to the ground in the darkness. Each time he watched from a distance, but he couldn't move. He couldn't stop it from happening.

Finally, he heard the gun shot so loud that he felt it in his whole body. He sucked in air, bolted forward and screamed, "DALLY! NO!"

Dally almost jumped as he turned to see Johnny sitting up in bed. But Johnny wasn't looking at him. He didn't even seem to know that Dally was in the room.

Johnny let out a soft whimper, pulled his legs up to his chest and rested his head on his knees and started to cry.

Dally, please don't be dead, he thought silently. Oh, please, don't be dead...

Concerned, Dally sat down beside him and touched his arm. "Johnny? Hey, you ok, buddy?"

Johnny insides turned to ice as he drew in a sharp breath and whirled around to face whoever was beside him, unaware that anyone else was in the room.

"Hey... easy, kid. It's just me..." Dally said softly.

Johnny stared at him in disbelief. "Dally?"

Johnny just looked at him, his brow wrinkling, his expression a mixture of fear, doubt and such saddness that Dally's heart actually ached. He was trembling, breathing rapidly and his eyes were welling up with tears.

Dally sat, not moving, not sure what Johnny's reaction to him being there would be. He thought about standing, moving back a little. He wasn't sure if Johnny was still mad or not, and he certainly wouldn't blame him if he was. But before he could move, Johnny hesitantly reached out his hand and touched Dally's arm, as though checking to see if Dally was real.

Dally watched curiously as Johnny drew back his hand and gasped, his breathing ragged. And suddenly, to his surprise, Johnny leaned forward and threw his arms around Dally's neck.

The pain in Dally's shoulder intensified, but he ignored it. He put his arms around Johnny anyway and as soon as he touched him, Dally had to fight back his own tears. He felt another wave of relief wash over him as he held on to Johnny. He was alive. He was ok. A little distraught at the moment, but otherwise all right.

But then Dally began to realize that Johnny was far more than "a little distraught". He was choking on tears and his whole body trembled and burned with fever.

"Oh, hey... hey, buddy, it's all right..." Dally whispered. "You scared the hell out of me, kid... I didn't know what happened to you."

Johnny couldn't even speak.

"Shh... it's all right..." Dally whispered and held him tighter. He was not used to such displays of compassion and he was surprised to find that Johnny's emotional breakdown was not making him incredibly uncomfortable. Instead, he was just so relieved to see the kid alive that nothing bothered him. Johnny could have cried on his shoulder for the rest of the night and Dally would've just sat there holding him. "You just had a bad dream. It's ok... it's ok."

But not only was he not uncomfortable, he was really scared for the kid. What was wrong with him? Dally thought, worriedly. Had it just been the dream? Was he devastated by the loss of his parents or traumatized by how it had happened? Did he even know what happened? He had rarely seen Johnny cry before except that time that the socs had jumped him. And even then, it had been nothing like this. The kid was terrified. Something had scared him really badly.

He wondered if Johnny was still mad at him. But if he was, why was he hugging him with every ounce of strength he had? Was he still half asleep? Would he regain his senses in a few minutes and remember how angry he had been the last time they had spoken? The last time they had spoken... Things began to become a little clearer as Dally suddenly remembered that the last time Johnny saw him, he'd just taken a bullet in the shoulder. But Johnny didn't know it was only his shoulder. Johnny thought-

"Oh my gosh, kid, you thought I was dead, didn't you?" They all had though that! Tom, Will, Wendy, all of them! Though all but Johnny thought he'd drown...The reaction from everyone when he'd turned up on the porch made more sense to him now.

He could feel a feeble nod through the trembling.

"Aw, Johnnycake, no... I'm fine...Everything's all right, I'm right here...oh, kid... c'mon, don't cry, everything's all right..."

Dally tried to gently push him back so he could wipe the tears off his face and maybe get him to lie down, but Johnny tensed and just held on to him tighter. He was crying even more now, his voice was wracked with sobs, but he tried to get words out anyway. "Dally..."

"All right, all right..." Dally soothed, putting his arms back around Johnny. He rubbed his back and held him tightly. "I ain't gonna let you go. Hey... C'mon, it's all right, I'm right here... why are you crying, kiddo?" Dally whispered gently. He kept his voice soft and steady. It took every ounce of his effort not to let his own fear show in his voice. He chewed nervously at his lower lip, he was completely out of his element. He didn't know what to do.

Johnny, who usually shyed away from being touched at all, was holding on to Dally like he was clinging to life itself. Then he uttered something that took Dally by complete surprise.

"..I'm... so s-sorry... I-I didn't-"

"What?" Dally asked, startled. He finally managed to push him back and he took Johnny's face in his hands. "No, Johnny, what are you sorry about? My gosh kid, you didn't do anything wrong... "

"I... I saw you... tonight... you were here- I tried to touch you, but my hand went right through you-" Johnny said, on to another subject, his thoughts a jumbled mess of confusion. "It was like when I kept seeing that... ghost...I thought you were dead... he shot you... I- I saw it-" Johnny hesitantly touched the bandage that was peeking out from the edge of Dally's shirt sleeve.

"Yeah, but I'm ok. It just grazed the skin, see?" Dally lifted his sleeve up, grateful that the bleeding had finally stopped so he didn't scare Johnny. "No big deal." He didn't say that it hurt like hell and that he'd lost enough blood to nearly pass out. He still felt very dizzy. "The rest of it was just a dream, because I'm here now, right?"

Johnny just looked worriedly at Dally's arm. He touched the bandage again, gently.

"It's ok, see? It's no big deal. Look at me, Johnnycake, I'm fine. All right?" Dally pushed Johnny's hair back and tried to calm him. The kid was shaking so much and he was so frightened that Dally was afraid he was just going to make himself sicker than he already was. "Buddy, just calm down, you need to take it easy kid..."

Johnny continued, his breath coming in short gasps. "He.. he killed her.." there was almost a panic in his eyes.

Oh, God... he knows. What do I do? He saw his mother get killed and then he thouht I was dead and who knows what else he saw. Dally swallowed hard and looked away from him for a second, but then looked right in his eyes. "I know, Johnnycake... I know."

"He shot her... all the blood..." Johnny's squeezed his eyes shut and covered his face.

"Oh, kid..." Dally ran his hand over Johnny's hair. "You shouldn't have had to see that...You're gonna get through this, okay? You're gonna be all right. Nobody's gonna hurt you any more." Dally's voice faltered a bit and there was a catch in his throat. No one should have ever hurt the kid in the first place. He shouldn't have ever let them. He should have been able to protect Johnny from all this! But he hadn't. And on top of it all, he had kept the truth from Johnny too. Maybe he should add, 'oh yeah, and nobody will need to lie to you anymore either'. Dally had never felt such guilt..

Johnny met his eyes suddenly and Dally got a sick feeling in his stomach, suddenly knowing what he was going to ask. "They're both dead, aren't they..."

Dally looked at him solemnly. The world will be a better place without him! A safer place... that bastard finally got what he deserved and if I'd had the gun in my hand, I'd have pulled the trigger myself! But he couldn't say any of these things. He put his hands on Johnny's shoulders and nodded. "Yeah... I'm sorry, Johnny..." But he wasn't. He wasn't sorry at all except for the fact that Johnny now had to deal with all this.

Johnny closed his eyes and hung his head. "I... I'm...glad he's dead!"

So am I! Dally wanted to shout it, but he could hear the hurt in Johnny's voice.

"I... I thought they came... because they wanted me to come home..."

Dally said nothing, only clenched his jaw. Why, Johnny? Why did you care so much what they thought? It was something Dally would never- could never- understand. It was taking all his effort to keep his mouth shut. He knew nothing he wanted to say about this would be of any help to Johnny right now.

Johnny looked at him again, tears streaming out of his eyes, the panic and fear still in his voice. "I really thought he shot you, too.. I... I thought I wouldn't ever get to tell you... that I feel really bad about..."

"Johnny!" Dally wiped the tears off Johnny's face. "Stop, kid... What do you have to feel bad about? You didn't do anything," Dally said in desperate confusion.

"Yeah, I did," Johnny shook his head vigorously. "I shouldn't have said all those things I said. I don't want you to leave! I'm so sorry, I really didn't mean it, Dal. Don't be mad-"

"Johnny! Buddy, I am not mad at you! Why would you think that? And I am not gonna leave you, you hear me?" Dally said making Johnny look at him. "I promise. I ain't gonna leave you... " Dally couldn't believe after all that had happened that Johnny was appologizing to_ him_.

Ok, Dallas, time to swallow some pride, he thought. He took a deep breath and looked at Johnny. "Look kid, I'm the one who's sorry. I should have told you what was going on. I should have told you the second I even started to get suspicious... you didn't do anything wrong. You had every right to be mad. I was the one who screwed up, ok?"

Johnny was looking at him confused.

Dally softened his gaze. "I didn't do it to hurt you, kid. I just didn't want..."

Johnny nodded then. "I know. I get why you didn't tell me. It's ok,"

"No, it ain't ok. I wasn't thinking and I really messed things up. Ok, I beyond messed things up. Geez, Johnny, I practically got you killed." Dally dropped his head and rubbed his eyes. His head was aching. "I mean... if anything had happened... I don't know what I'd do..." He looked away for a moment. He wanted Johnny to tell him that things would be all right, that they were friends again, like before. Johnny was just looking at him with that forlorn and somewhat confused expression that plainly conveyed that he didn't think Dally had anything to be appologizing for.

"So, I hope you ain't mad anymore, but if you are I wouldn't blame you."

Johnny shook his head as tears began to well up in his eyes again. "I... I didn't mean to get mad at you..." he hung his head again.

"Johnny!" Dally said desperately. He reached forward and tilted Johnny's chin up. "Hey, look at me. It's all right! You can get mad at me sometimes! Hell, I deserved it, kid. And it doesn't make any difference... we're not gonna stop bein' buddies... you know that, don't you? Come on... you're like my kid brother...that ain't gonna change." Dally was speaking in a tone he'd never used before, but he meant every word he was saying. Johnny stared at him wide eyed.

Dally looked down. "If I do somehing that stupid, you _should_ be mad. I just.. I hope you'll be able to trust me again... like before."

Johnny let out a weak smile through his tears. "I'll always trust you, Dal."

Dally looked up at him and read the sincerity in his face. He didn't even try to hide the tears in his eyes anymore.

Johnny leaned towards Dally again. Not knowing what else to do, Dally just wrapped his arms around him and leaned his cheek up against Johnny's burning forehead. Suddenly Dally began to realize that he was feeling his age. He was feeling like a teenage kid. He had always felt so much older than any of the gang, like he could handle more, like he could survive anything. But today he had almost lost the one person in the world that meant anything to him and it had scared him... made him feel small and powerless. He was not an emotional person. He was not prone to any kind of displays of affection. But right then he felt like he didn't want to ever let go of Johnny. He would sit right there and hold on to him, protect him from anything bad. He didn't know where things would go from here, but at that moment, he felt so lucky that Johnny was still alive and that they were together. He wished desperately for Darry, Soda or any of the gang to have been there, because he figured any one of them would know better what to say and do right now than he did. But at least the gang was still whole. They were apart, but they were still whole.

(I DO NOT own "I Am" by Bon Jovi)

_How you spend your minutes are what matters  
All tomorrows come from yesterdays  
When you're feeling broken, bruised and sometimes shattered  
Blow out the candles on the cake  
Like everything's a big mistake_

_It seems you always wait for life to happen  
And your last buck can't buy a lucky break  
If all we've got is us then life's worth living  
And if you're in, you know I'm in  
I'm ready and I'm willing  
I am_

_When you think that no one needs you, sees you or believes you  
No one's there to understand  
I am  
I'll be there to be that someone  
When you think that no one is there to hold your hand  
I am_

_We're just who we are, there's no pretending  
It takes a while to learn to live in your own skin  
Say a prayer that we might find our happy ending  
And if you're in you know I'm in  
I'm ready and I'm willing  
I am_

_When you think that no one needs you, sees you or believes you  
No one's there to understand  
I am  
I'll be there to be that someone  
When you think that no one is there to hold your hand  
I am_

_I ain't got no halo hanging over my head  
I ain't gonna judge you, I'm just here to love you  
I am, I am  
_

_ I am  
When you think that no one needs you, sees you or believes you  
No one's there to understand  
I am  
I'll be there to be that someone  
When you think that no one is there to hold your hand  
I am_


	45. Aftermath

Ok, folks... I got a few reviews that made me go back and take a look at this last chapter- it did kind of sound like an ending, didn't it? I didn't intend that at all... my appologies! Unless you guys are ready for it to be over... (please say you're not, I have a little more to tell!) I have a much more interesting ending than that in mind. This is what happens when I don't leave you with a cliff hanger! Any how...

**I do not own The Outsiders!**

Johnny leaned tiredly against Dally's shoulder. He was trying desperately to control the tears falling out of his eyes, but he was failing miserably. You just didn't cry in front of Dallas Winston. But so much had happened... he was so disoriented and overwhelmed. He couldn't concentrate long enough to regain his composure before another horrifying memory clouded his mind and swept over him like a wave. 16 years of abuse, neglect and now lies had all come to the surface at once and on top of that, he had watched his father shoot his mother and then Dally. And then while his father was aiming a gun at his head, someone had killed him, too. His father... Johnny had to keep reminding himself that Robert wasn't even his real father. Johnny had dealt with a lot of things in his short life, but this was just too much all at once. And he just felt so lousy. His lungs ached, his stomach hurt, he was bruised and cut up and he was burning up with fever and freezing at the same time. He couldn't help crying in front of Dally. He just couldn't help it.

Surprisingly, though, Dally seemed uncharacteristicly... understanding. He wasn't telling Johnny to stop or to pull himself together. He was just sitting there... letting Johnny lean on him and talking softly to him in a tone Johnny had never heard him use. And for this, Johnny was grateful. He needed someone with him right then to just be there. Someone he trusted, because he certainly didn't know if he trusted any of the people downstairs. If Dally hadn't been there, Johnny didn't know what he would have done. Or worse, if Dally had gotten shot... He clenched his eyes shut again and surpressed another sob. He was so glad he'd been able to tell Dally that he hadn't meant all the terrible things he'd said. He knew Dally hadn't kept the secret to hurt him. He'd been protecting him, like he always did. But the others...

Johnny took a deep breath, forcing back more tears. "They all lied..." he said softly.

"Nobody meant for you to get hurt, kid. Or for anyone to get hurt, for that matter. Especially not you. We were all just trying to protect you."

"Only you were." Johnny mumbled. "Not them."

"Johnny, there's a lot more to it than you understand yet. And I promise, I'll tell you everything after you get some rest."

But Johnny had decided that he was not sleeping. He was not going to dream about Dally getting shot again. It was one thing to remember it when Dally was sitting right next to him, but dreaming it was just too real.

Johnny sat there for a long time. The storm outside raged, and the winds blew, shaking the panes of glass in the windows. Dally just held him, speaking softly and reassuringly to him. Johnny had tucked his head under Dally's chin. Slowly, the tears stopped coming and finally, he started to settle down. Johnny sat back and dried his eyes. "Sorry," he said softly.

"Hey," Dally scolded. " Quit sayin' that! You've been through hell. It's ok." He could see Johnny shivering. "You cold, buddy?" Dally asked doubtfully. Johnny was burning with fever and Dally couldn't imagine that he would be cold.

Johnny nodded. "Yeah, I'm freezing... I think... I don't know," he said, his voice faltering. "I don't feel good."

"Yeah, I know you don't," Dally said getting up off the bed. He took Johnny's shoulders and guided him down to the pillow. "C'mon, lie down. Where are you hurtin' kid?" he asked putting his hand gently on Johnny's stomach.

"Everywhere," Johnny responded tiredly.

I know what that feels like, Dally thought as he brought the blankets up to Johnny's chin. He had started to become very aware of the fact that probably a lot of Johnny's emotional state was due to being sick. Very, very sick.

"You're gonna be ok... you've probably got chills. You're real sick, Johnnycake. You just need some rest," Dally said soothingly, hoping to calm Johnny down. He was so overwrought. And understandably so. In fact, considering the circumstances, Dally figured Johnny was doing better than he would have expected.

But then Johnny threw another curveball.

"I want to go home... " Johnny said quietly, a tear escaping the corner of his eye.

Dally didn't know what to say to that. Johnny couldn't go home now. If Dally took him back to Tulsa, they'd send social services after him. Dally felt like someone was ripping his heart out. "Johnny, " he whispered. "You know what? Why don't we talk about this tomorrow, when you're feeling better... You're so sick right now, buddy. You need to get some sleep."

"No!" Johnny said sounding frantic, suddenly sitting up. "No, please, Dally I... I don't want to sleep..."

"Hey, shhh...take it easy, kid. I ain't gonna make you do anything you don't want to do. But you're so tired, Johnnycake... don't you want to lie down for a little while?"

Johnny shook his head.

"Why not?" Dally asked soflty, pushing Johnny's hair back. It didn't hang down and cover his eyes as much anymore. Dally did it out of habit.

Johnny was silent for a moment. Then Dally remembered how Johnny had awakened in the first place.

"Have you been having bad dreams?" he whispered.

Johnny nodded.

"About... about your parents?"

"No..." Johnny looked at him, his eyes filled with terror and saddness. "About you." Another loud clap of thunder made him jump.

Dally was getting worried about him. Every clap of thunder made him cringe. He would squeeze his eyes shut and look almost like he was trying to force a thought or a memory from his mind. He looked desperately afraid, almost paniced, like he wanted to get out of the room.

"Hey, it's all right, it's just a noise..." Dally hesitantly moved closer to him again, putting an arm around him so that Johnny was able to lean against him. Dally knew he was in for a long night, but he didn't care. Just being able to feel Johnny breathe, knowing he was alive was all he cared about. He looked totally exhausted and Dally figured whether he wanted to go to sleep or not, he would if he got comfortable enough.

Johnny tried to pull himself together again.

"Tell me what you were dreaming about... you said it was about me?"

Johnny nodded and let out a quivering breath. His black eyes became very serious and he lifted his head and looked intently at Dallas. "Yeah, I keep having this dream over and over that..." he sucked in his breath, like he was having trouble even thinking about the dream.

"It's all right... that what?" Dally whispered.

Johnny swallowed hard. "That you...get killed. I keep seeing it hapen and I can't get it out of my head...I...I dream it over and over and it's so real. More real than any dream I've ever had... I woke up a few times before you came back, and I really thought..."

Johnny trailed off, but Dally knew what he was going to say.

"I kept asking where you were and they said they were looking for you... Nobody knew where you were and then I thought maybe they just weren't going to tell me that you were-" Johnny couldn't get the rest of the sentence out.

"Ok... it's all right..." Dally whispered.

"That's why..." Johnny tried to continue, but he was starting to cry again. "...everytime I hear the thunder, it just sounds like..."

"Shhh... ok...everything's all right..." Dally put his hand on the side of Johnny's face and the minute he touched him, Johnny just broke down again. Dally pulled him against his shoulder.

"I don't want something to happen to you..." Johnny said through tears.

Aside from being very concerned about Johnny's emotional state, Dally was somewhat touched that anyone would care so much about his safety. "Nothing's gonna happen to me, Johnnycake. I'm gonna stay right here."

"I really hate the th..thunder-"

"I know... I know you do... It's ok..,."

"And I don't want to... go to sleep because I.. I'm just afraid that if I close my eyes..." he struggled to get the words out. They ended up coming out in a whisper. "You'll be gone."

"Aww, Johnnycake..." he stroked Johnny's hair lightly. "C'mon, kiddo. That won't happen. I ain't goin' anyhwere. All right?" He couldn't stand to see Johnny so upset. "Listen..." Dally got down on the floor in front of Johnny and took both of his hands. "I want you to take a deep breath for me, buddy, all right? C'mon... there you go," Dally whispered as Johnny did as he was told. Dally wiped a tear off his cheek. "Now do it again... that's it..."

Johnny's breathing slowed slightly and his shaking diminished, but he was still visibly frightened and terribly upset.

"Here," Dally said, standing up again and pulling the blankets that had fallen down back up around Johnny's shoulders. "Keep these around you. We gotta keep you warm. Now look, "he sighed. "A lot of stuff's been going on... A lot of really hard things... Hey, c'mon-"He stopped for a second as Johnny hung his head again. He squeezed Johnny's shoulder. "You're probably going to have bad dreams, you know? It'll be ok. It's nothing to worry about."

Johnny didn't say anything.

Dally sighed. He chewed on his lip for a moment and then hesitantly, he said. "I got pretty scared too, ya know."

Johnny looked at him. "You did?"

Dally nodded.

"Why? You mean when you got shot?"

Dally laughed a little. "No. Not when I got shot. I saw you go in the water and you weren't swimming, I think you got knocked out or something. And then I tried to go after you, but I kind of got sucked down stream 'cause I couldn't swim either with my arm and all. Anyway, when I woke up on the river bank, I didn't know where you were. I kinda thought that maybe you didn't make it. And... it really... scared me, you know?" Dally swallowed. He felt so strange telling anyone that something had scared him, but Johnny seemed to be responding. He seemed less terrified, so Dally continued. "So... it's ok, see? We're both all right now and everything's gonna be fine... you don't have to be scared anymore. Is that the only thing that's got you all spooked? Thinking I got shot?"

"Mostly... And... about my parents..." Johnny didn't look like he was quite ready to talk about that yet. "I really want to go home... " Johnny whispered, his eyes pleading.

Dally's heart sank again. "I know, kid. I know." But he also knew that was impossible.

Johnny tried to steady his breathing. Finally, he asked in almost a whisper, "Can... can you stay in here tonight? I'm...really scared."

Dally hugged him. He couldn't even answer him because one word out of his mouth would open the flood gates. He was not going to cry in front of Johnny. Not right now. He took a few deep breaths to steady himself. Then he ruffled Johnny's hair, sat back down beside him and leaned back against the headboard. "C'mere," he motioned to Johnny.

Johnny laid down and put his head on Dally's shoulder.

"If I stay in here, do you promise to go to sleep?" Dally said, having no intention of leaving even if the kid said no.

There was a long pause. "I guess."

"All right, I guess I can stay then. 'Cause I am damn tired- I'm sleeping!"

There was a long silence. Dally could tell Johnny was thinking hard about something and not trying to sleep."So..." he said finally, his voice soft and uncertain. "Is Will... really my dad?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

There was another long silence. "How did... how did you know?"

Dally stomach lurched. He didn't want to talk about how he had known and how he had chosen to not tell Johnny. That was a raw wound that he really wanted to leave alone, but he figured he owed Johnny that much. "Well...I was flipping through the photo albums. I was looking at that picture of your grandmother's second husband. You look just like him. So do Wendy and Will. Matt too. And he wasn't Robert's father, that other guy was. You know, the creepy lookin' one."

"Yeah, Charles Hamilton."

"Yeah, him. So I guess I just.. kind of figured it out."

Johnny's voice was getting softer and Dally hoped he was close to falling asleep.

"Dal?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you think Will knew?"

"I don't know, kid. I don't really think he did." Now go to sleep! Dally thought as he closed his eyes again, hoping that would be the end of the questioning.

"Why not?"

"I thought you were gonna try to sleep..." Dally whispered.

Johnny didn't answer him.

Dally sighed. "Will had a lot of stuff happen to him. He was young and stupid and he probably just never thought about it, Johnny. Look, I know you've got a ton of questions, but you need to get some rest. You gotta get better, kid. I promise, I'll answer all your questions in the morning and anything I can't answer I will find out for you if you really want to know, all right?"

Another pause.

"Yeah... all right."

"Go to sleep, baby brother..." Dally said running his hand over Johnny's hair. "Everything's gonna be all right." he wasn't sure he believed himself.

He lay there for a long time, listening to Johnny's breathing. He could feel little wet tears soaking through his t-shirt. Then he heard Johnny's breathing get slow and steady. Dally stayed awake for a few minutes after that. Thinking, planning, trying to figure out what to do.

For a moment, he almost laughed. What would all the boys back on the East side of Tulsa say if they could see him now? His reputation as one of the toughest hoods in town would be gone. He was talking civily with adults, he was trying to rationally sort out domestic family issues, and now he was sleeping beside the second youngest of his gang to keep away his nightmares. And he had cried! What had happened to him?

He thought of Soda who had to sleep next to Ponyboy every night for the same reason and no one thinks any less of him. And at this point, he didn't care what anyone thought. Because Dallas Winston had finally come face to face with something that had truly terrified him. Something that made him feel as small and afraid as Johnny felt right now. And quite frankly, he didn't want to sleep alone tonight either. He could now very plainly see life from Ponyboy's eyes. His nightmares had started after he had lost someone close to him. Dally had gotten a glimpse of that world and if that was what Ponyboy went through every night, well then Dally had a whole new respect for that kid.

It wasn't long before Dally gave in to his own exhaustion and fell asleep.

Downstairs, the front door flew open and Tom came rushing in. Wendy met him in the foyer.

"He's upstairs," she smiled through her tears. "He's with Johnny."

Tom took the stairs two at a time. He opened the door quietly and saw the two boys curled up next to eachother, sound asleep. Johnny was wrapped up in the blankets, his head tucked under Dally's chin and his face nuzzled into Dally's t-shirt. Dally was stretched out on top of the covers, one arm was bandaged at the shoulder, the other arm was wrapped protectively around Johnny. Both of them looked fairly peaceful, Tom thought, considering all that had gone on.

Tom smiled as he walked up to them. He touched Dally's hair gently. "You gave us quite a scare, there, old boy," he whispered.

Dally sighed in his sleep.

Tom pulled a blanket off a nearby chair and covered Dally with it. Then he put another log on the fire and sneaked quietly out of the room.

"You'd never know they came right off the city streets looking at them now, would you?"

Wendy just looked past Tom at the two boys, her eyes full of worry and saddness.

"They'll be ok," Tom promised.

Wendy looked at him and nodded, still looking sad.

Tom put his arm around her and led her to their room. "Where's your mom?"

"She's in her room. She said she needed some time alone. I hope she finally went to sleep."

"How's Will?"

Wendy hung her head. "He's... he's devastated. I tried to talk to him, but he just wouldn't..."

"Give him some time. He'll be all right too. How are you?" He asked turning her around to look at her.

Wendy's face crumpled and she just started to cry. "Oh, Tom... I just want to hold them all... I feel so helpless. But I'm so glad those boys are ok."

Tom hugged her. "C'mon, we need to get some rest or we'll be of no help to any of them."

Wendy looked back at the room down the hall.

Tom smiled. "Go on... go kiss them goodnight, but don't wake them up!"

She smiled tearfully at him and made her way down the hall.

She tiptoed up to the bed and gave both boys a kiss on the forhead and then mede her way back down the hall.

Dally slept until about 4 in the morning. He awoke in a somewhat conflicted state. Someone had covered him with a blanket, Johnny was sleeping (finally) peacefully beside him, the fire was still glowing and he felt so warm and comfortable where he was. Except for one thing- his shoulder was screaming with pain. The pain won out after a moment or two and he carefully slid his arm out from under Johnny and headed back across the hall to Johnny's room where he'd left the pain pills the doctor had given him. A quiet sniffling sound from downstairs caught his attention. He tried to ignore it. He knew it was Wendy.

He took one of the pills with some water from the bathroom and headed back to bed, but he couldn't quite keep from stopping in the middle of the hall. Then he walked over and put one foot on the top step.

What are you doing? What are you going to say to her? He asked himself. He couldn't figure out how he kept purposely putting himself in these situations, but somehow, he managed to do it.

She sat wrapped in a blanket and surrounded by wadded up tissues and a glass of wine.

Dally walked up and stopped a few feet from her. "Hey... What are you doing up?" he whispered in mild exasperation.

Wendy looked up, surprised. Her eyes were red and puffy and she looked like she'd been crying for hours. But behind the almost painful-to-look-at reddness, Dally could still see a little bit of Johnny in those eyes and maybe that was why he felt such sympathy. Or maybe it was because in just a few short weeks, that woman had become almost a mother to him.

He got down beside her on the couch and she tried to smile. She put her hand on Dally's arm. He allowed it, and even went so far as to actually take her hand, just for a second.

"He's ok." Dally said, trying to sound reassuring.

Wendy nodded, but looked visibly relieved. She sniffled again.

"Are _you_ ok?" she asked.

"Yeah. I'm fine." Dally looked down.

"I'm glad you're staying with him. He really needs you, he's so shaken up..."

"He'll get through this..."

"He shouldn't have to!" Wendy choked out desperately. "Why, Dally? We were trying to help him and look what a mess we ended up in... we came so close to losing him. Why would God let something like this happen?"

Dally looked at her, shocked. No one had ever asked him a question like that before. And had they asked, they would have only gotten an apathetic response. But now, something inside him had changed... something inside of him felt humbled, grateful to be alive. Even more grateful that Johnny was alive.

He considered his words carefully. He certainly was not one to ask about God. And he wasn't sure if Wendy was really asking, or if she was just wondering out loud. But he answered anyway. "I don't know... He's God. He does weird things. I... I heard someone say that once." he added when Wendy looked at him funny.

And then she actually laughed. "Yes, you're right, Dally. He does... work in mysterious ways."

Dally thought perhaps he should elaborate. "I guess what I'm saying is, yeah, we _almost_ lost him, but we didn't." Dally let out a small laugh. "You don't know... you can't see it can you? You _have_ helped him. You don't know what you got him out of. Johnny wasn't gonna make it out of Tulsa. I don't know, I just... always had this... feeling, you know? Like something really bad was gonna happen if he stayed there much longer. He was gonna die young. We both were." Dally gazed at the carpet.

Wendy's eyes widened.

"I mean, maybe not literally. But, you know, like his spirit. Or maybe literally," Dally said thinking about it more now. "Things were really bad. Maybe I'm crazy, I don't know. But I really think him coming here... saved his life somehow."

Wendy expression changed slightly. She looked gratefully at Dally. "Do you really believe that?"

Dally looked her right in the eye. "Yeah, I do."

She smiled through her tears and looked down at the tissue she was holding. "Do you think... do you think he'll forgive me? Us?"

"I know he will."

"How?"

Dally shrugged. "Because he's Johnny."

Wendy let out a little laugh. "Yes. He's Johnny all right. And I love him. Dally, I love him as though he were my own child. I... don't think he knows that."

Dally thought a moment. "He doesn't know what that's like. So, no... he probably doesn't know."

Wendy looked devastated.

"Hey..don't worry, he'll learn. You've already come a long way with him."

"I just feel like we've gone backwards." Wendy said shaking her head. "Well, you go on back up to bed. You need your rest."

Feeling he had done about all he could do, Dally stood and headed back to the stairs.

"Dally?"

He turned.

Wendy looked at him and with all the sincerity and kindness she had, said, "I'm so glad you're here."

Dally face softened for a moment. He looked at her the way he looked at Johnny sometimes and she knew she'd broken through the last layer of his shell. "Get some sleep," Dally said quietly and continued up the stairs.

In the morning, the sun shone through the window, signaling the end of the storm and the beginning of a new day. Johnny was still asleep and so was Dally's arm. He'd gone back up to stay with Johnny as he'd promised and the minute he had layed down, Johnny had curled up and found his shoulder again. Fortunately, he was sleeping on the side of the good shoulder.

As gently as he could, he pulled his arm out from under Johnny's head.

Johnny sat up and sucked in his breath, his eyes wild with fear.

"Easy, Johnnycake... it's ok."

Johnny looked at him a moment, trying to decide if he was dreaming or not.

"I'm just going to go get something to eat, I'm starved!"

Johnny just stared.

"You ok?" Dally felt his head. Still a little hot, but definitely better.

Johnny nodded and closed his eyes.

"You want anything?"

Johnny opened his eyes and looked at him. He shook his head.

Dally's stomach sank. That "look" was back. The look that said 'I've hit rock bottom. I've got nothing left.' He'd seen that look in Johnny's eyes before and it was not good.

"Ok. Go on back to sleep, now. I'll be back in a little while."

Dally went down to the kitchen to find some food. He would eventually have to figure out how to deal with Johnny, but right now, he had to deal with his stomach.

It was about 7:30 and surprisingly, no one else seemed to be up yet, but then he saw Tom and Will outside looking at the remains of the burned barn.

Dally found a bowl and some cereal and plopped down at the kitchen table. He looked out the window as he ate. In the back of his mind, he knew this would be his last moment of peace for a while. For him, things were black and white. In Dally's eyes, the world was a better place without Robert and Maria Cade. He had no regrets that they were gone. His arm would heal, the barn would be rebuilt and Johnny was safe. Nothing else mattered.

But this was not his world and he knew there would be more to it than that. There would be more talks with the police, there would be a funeral, there would be articles in the paper. There was going to be a lot for Johnny to deal with and he was already not handling things very well. Dally knew it from the look in Johnny's eyes.

And, not that he felt it was any of his responsibility, but he figured Will was probably a mess too. He'd already seen the condition Wendy was in. Grandma Cade and Tom would probably be the most likely to pull through. Part of him was thinking about when he should head back to Tulsa. This wasn't his home, no one had asked him to stay. But he figured he'd stick around to help out a bit more, at least for a little while.

(NOT THE END!)

To the reviewers:

Chicita: What a creative and unusual reviews you give... always fun to read! Have you been into the caffine? Tsk tsk! What's really funny is when you were saying "Will really is his father" I was actually thinking the line that you wrote in for me almost word for word! I laughed when I scrolled down and read my own thoughts! Thank you for all your comments. They are very much enjoyed and appreciated. I hope you liked this chapter!

Kimmerkay: Thanks for the comments. I like to hear what you think about different parts of the story. And I'm glad you found a likeable side of Dally in chapter 42. Hopefully you will find him even more likeable by the end of the story. I do have plans for some Darry parts coming up eventually -I saw you mention once that you really like Darry stories!

WhatGraceHasGiven: Whoa! You HAVE been gone a while if this only had 30 chapters last time you were on. I am SO glad you're still reading. I would be very sad not to hear from you any more. Hope you enjoyed this!

Lisa1990: Thanks for reading and reviewing! I appreciate it! Good luck with your stories... if you don't feel like one is going anywhere, just take a break from it for a while. Something might come to you when you leave it alone for too long. That's how this one-shot became 43 chapters long and still counting.

Hahukum Konn: Blown away by "Twilight's End"- just fabulous. Thanks for reviewing and NO! This is not the end! Sorry I wrote it that way. Hope you want to hear some more!

fire stormwing: Thank you! I am always so excited when someone tells me they were moved to tears! I had a lot of fun writing that last chapter. Also glad that you commented on the songs... I always wonder if they work or not. A lot of the chapters are so deeply inspired by songs that I feel like I can't leave them out. In fact, a certain song inspired a whole section of this story that I will mention later... don't want to give too much away!

JamesDeanismygod: Thanks so much for your reviews! I am glad you liked the last chapter. I had a lot of fun writing it... I like to make Dally's soft spot for Johnny peek out every now and then.

Booklover: Hope you got a chance to check out ch. 44, I think you will enjoy it. And yes, we have to see how Johnny will deal with all this, that's why the story just can't be over yet!

Alba Rosa : Thank you! I know you don't do a lot of reviewing from your bio, so I do truly appreciate you taking the time to write to me! I need to know that people are reading this and enjoying it... it helps me write. So thank you VERY much!


	46. Never Alone

Thanks to all the reviewers again... a few more chapters to go! Hope you are all enjoying this. I appreciate feedback of any kind.

I do not own The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton, or "Only a Dream" by Mary Chapin Carpenter, or "I Love You This Much" by Jimmy Wayne.

_"I'd crawl in your bed when the lightning flashed  
And I'd still be there when the storm had passed  
Dead to the world till the morning cast  
Its light all around your room."  
Only a Dream - Mary Chapin Carpenter_

The moment Dally finished his breakfast, Matt appeared at the front door with a very excited Coal.

"Hey!" Matt grinned widely and came over and slapped Dally on the back. "Am I glad to see you! You gave us quite a scare!"

Dally shook his head and waved Matt off . "I been hurt worse."

Matt rolled his eyes. His expression grew serious. "How's Johnny?"

Dally shrugged. "He's alive. He'll be all right. He's still sleeping right now." He reached down and patted Coal's head. "You are one amazing dog... Johnny'll be real happy to see you."

Matt handed the leash of to Dally. "All right, well, you tell him I said hi and I'll be by again later today if he's feeling up to hanging out. I'll be at the clinic if you need anything."

Dally headed upstairs with Coal who was pulling and bucking at the leash like a wild horse. When they got to the door of the room Johnny was in, Coal went completely crazy and started to try to dig his way under the door.

Dally laughed a little. He kept a tight hold on the leash as he entered the room.

"Johnnycake? You feel up to having a visitor?"

Johnny stirred slightly, then rubbed his eyes and sat up.

The temptation to turn the squirming dog loose and watch him tackle Johnny was hard to resist, but Dally didn't think Johnny was quite healthy enough to handle that.

So he lead Coal over to the bed and let him jump up, but he held on to him. Or at least tried to hold on to him. Once up on the bed, the dog was all over Johnny, licking him, biting his arm, rolling in his lap. And then he went for Dally as if to thank him for bringing him back to Johnny.

Dally tried to fend him off, but that dog was getting big. "Aackk! All right! That's enough!" he said as Coal finally backed off a bit and started to settle down.

That whole fiasco got a little smile out of Johnny, but only for a second.

Dally wiped his face off with his sleeve and sat up at the foot of the bed.

His expression got serious as he looked at Johnny. "You feeling a little better kid?'

"Some," Johnny replied quietly. There was no mistaking the fact that the emotional toll this whole thing had taken on Johnny was far worse than the physical.

Dally felt his forehead. "You still feel kinda hot... You feel up for hearing all the details about this mess?" Dally didn't beat around the bush. True to his word, he was ready to tell Johnny everything he knew.

Johnny sat back against the pillow and nodded, looking terribly sad. Coal put his head in Johnny's lap.

And Dally started from the beginning. Johnny kind of just sat there expressionless, taking it all in. He didn't ask any questions, he didn't offer any responses.

When Dally was finished, he asked Johnny if he wanted to get up and have something to eat. He just shook his head and said he was going to go back to sleep.

Over the course of the next couple of days, Johnny did a lot of sleeping. And a lot of just staring sadly out the window. He didn't go to school, he hardly ate, and he said very little to anyone. He would NOT talk to Will. Dally tried to give him his space, but it drove him crazy that there was simply nothing he could do to help him.

Johnny went back to sleeping in his own room the next night after the death of his parents. But he would wake up in the middle of the night, not screaming like Ponyboy did, but gasping for air and crying. Dally heard him the first night and came across the hall and sat with him until he went back to sleep. The second night, there was another thunder storm. Dally woke up around 2 a.m. because a certain black dog was in his bed licking his face. Knowing there was only one reason that Coal would be in his room, he looked down and saw Johnny asleep on the floor beside his bed.

He pushed Coal aside and tapped Johnny on the shoulder.

"Hey,"

Johnny looked up groggily.

Dally moved over. "Come on, get off the floor."

Wordlessly, Johnny crawled into the bed beside Dally and layed down and closed his eyes.

Coal nuzzled in between them.

"Dreamin' again?" Dally asked.

Johnny nodded without opening his eyes.

Dally sighed. He didn't like that Johnny wasn't talking much. He was so much like he was before. "You're gonna be ok, kid."

No response.

"Johnny? Hey, look at me."

Johnny reluctantly opened his eyes.

"You can wake me up if you need to, you know." Dally said.

There was a pause. Johnny just looked guilty. "I... I don't mean to keep you up."

"Hey," Dally said sternly, propping himself up on his elbow. "You need somethin' you wake me up, you got it? I don't care if it's every night, I don't care if it's 2 in the mornin'!"

Johnny looked gratefully at him, but the lost, frightened look was stll in his eyes.

"What are you dreaming about?" Dally said, flopping back onto the pillow again.

Johnny was quiet for a long while. "The water..." he said finally. "I'm in the water, and... he's holding me down. And I can't breath..."

Dally listened with concern. "He ain't gonna hurt you anymore, kid." he reached over Coal and touched Johnny's arm.

Johnny purposely left out the part of his dream where he watched his Robert shoot Dally over and over. He left out that he came into Dally's room just to make sure he was still alive.

But he did tell Dally about the others in his dream. "And I dream that they're all there... Will, Wendy... everybody. They're just standing there watching." There was the slightest hint of anger in his voice.

"Johnny, you know it ain't like that... They never wanted any of this to happen. You shouldn't be upset with them."

But Johnny had closed his eyes again. He was through talking.

Dally lay awake long after Johnny had fallen asleep. He wished more than ever that Darry was there.

Darry... the gang... Dally groaned. No one had told them what had happened. Dally had thought about calling several times, but at first, he just didn't want to talk about it. He would put it off and then there had just been so much going on that distracted him. On top of just keeping an eye on Johnny, there had been a lot of police officers stopping by the house asking questions and taking statements. Dally had put up a fight when they wanted to question Johnny, but Tom finally calmed him down. Dally had allowed it under the condition that he could be in the room, too. Dally knew how jumpy the kid got around the fuzz. But strangely enough, Johnny didn't seem to care. Which Dally found far more disturbing than him being afraid.

And Dally had also been preoccuied with trying (rather unsucessfully) to help with the repair of the barn that Robert had tried to burn down. Every time he went out to help, Tom and Will would send him back inside, telling him he was in no condition to be working. Then once he got inside, Wendy or Grandma Cade would scold him for sneaking out.

Making sure Johnny was still alseep, Dally got up and went downsatirs. He knew it didn't matter what time it was. This couldn't be put off any longer and he needed help. Johnny was going down a bad road and Dally didn't know what to do.

He dialed the phone. He got Two-Bit and had a hard time getting rid of him to talk to Darry.

"C'mon, Two-Bit, put Darry on."

"Why? You don't want to talk to me? Am I losing my sense of humor? I'm no fun to talk to anymore? Hey, I heard you took Buck's T-bird! That was slick! You shoulda seen him. Man I ain't seen him so wound up since-"

"TWO-BIT!"

"Darry's sleeping."

Dally felt guilty about that for a minute, but he knew Darry would understand. "Just get him, all right?" Dally growled.

"You want me to wake him up? Boy you can rile up a whole town and not even be here! He'll be as mad as Buck-"

"Two-Bit, please! Put Darry on the phone." Dally said, no longer able to keep the desperation out of his voice.

There was a brief silence on the other end. "...You ok, Dal?" Two-Bit's voice lost all traces of humor.

"No... I need you to get Darry."

There was the sound of the phone dropping and Two-Bit yelling for Darry to get up. Then there were foot steps and Two-Bit's frantic voice in the background. "...think something's wrong, he said 'please'... I think he's sick or somethin'-"

"Hello?"

"Darry?"

"Yeah, what's up Dal?"

"Darry, I... I..."

"Dally? Dally what's wrong? Where are you?" Darry's voice was suddenly wide awake and full of fear.

Dally spilled the story.

"Glory, Dallas! Are you two all right?"

"Yeah," Dally was surprised to hear how shaky his voice sounded. "I'm fine, but Johnny..."

"Dally, my gosh, is Johnny all right?"

Dally could hear other voices in the background. He didn't know who else was there, but there was a frantic and sudden fight over the phone, during which time he heard Two-Bit again and probably Soda, but he wasn't sure.

"Back off!" Darry yelled, meaning business. "Dal? Is Johnny ok?"

"I... I don't know... he ain't takin' this too well. He wakes up dreamin' every night and he's just like before, only worse... he's got that look in his eyes... you know? And I just don't know what to do, man." Dally realized that his voice was breaking, but he didn't care.

"All right," Darry's voice was strong and sure and it brought Dally some relief. But deep down he knew that Darry was scared too. He was hiding it the way Dally did when he talked to Johnny. "It's gonna be ok, Dal. Johnny's gonna be just fine-"

"Look, man, you don't know, you haven't seen him-"

"Dally, he's going through a rough time right now, but he'll be all right," Darry swallowed hard and kept his voice as steady as possible. He didn't have to think too hard to remember how he had felt being responsible for Soda and Pony after their parents had been killed. Aside from the grief he had to deal with, he just couldn't help thinking he was doing everything wrong. He knew Dally wasn't dealing with any grief, but from the tone of his voice, Darry was pretty sure he was having feelings of self doubt and probably feeling responsible for Johnny. "You're doin' just fine," he said finally.

"I ain't doin' anything! I don't know what to do! That's the problem-"

That was it. "You just have to be there, Dal. Stay with him, keep talking to him, let him be sad for a while. He's greiveing. I know it's hard to understand, you know, 'cause of how things were, but I think that's what he's doing."

"Greiving? Over those two worthless-"

"Dally, they were his parents."

"But-"

"He needs to just go through this. If it goes too far, you'll know. Right now, I don't think what he's going through is anything unusual."

"But what about the dreams? Ponyboy's still having dreams, isn't he?"

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean Johnny will go through the same thing."

"He wants to go home... I can't take him home, Darry!"

"No, you can't. Not now."

Dally didn't respond, he just laid his head on the kitchen table tiredly.

"Dally, it's gonna be all right..."

More silence.

"Do you need me to...try to come out there?"

Dally knew if he said yes, Darry would find a way to come. Part of him wanted to say yes. But he couldn't ask Darry to do that. He would have to handle this himself. "No. No, we're fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," Dally said with conviction.

"All right. For what it's worth, I think you are fine. You haven't done anything wrong, Dal. You're takin' good care of him."

More silence.

"Buck is really mad." Darry said trying to offer some lightheartedness into an otherwise hopelessly bleak situation.

But Dally was in no mood. "Yeah, well you can tell Buck what to go do with himself. I wasn't figurin' I'd be here this long."

The two boys were quiet for a while.

"All right," Dally said finally, "I gotta go get some sleep."

"Dally, you keep us posted, all right?"

"Yeah."

"You call us anytime, day or night, you understand?"

"Yeah."

"And Dally... you're doing just fine. It's a really good thing that you're there. Johnny really needs you right now. Just keep an eye on him. If things are getting too serious or if there's something that you can do to help him, you'll know, but right now you just need to stick around and let him know you're there. You're doing fine."

"...ok."

"Oh, for crying out loud... Dally, can you talk to Two-Bit for a minute?"

Dally shook his head and smiled a little. He could hear Two-Bit and now he was sure Soda, pestering Darry to give them the phone.

"Yeah, put him on."

"Dally? What the hell is goin' on? Whatsa matter with Johnny-" Two-Bit sounded paniced.

"Are you ok? Dal- hey!" Soda cut in, appearently having taken the phone from Two-Bit.

"C'mon! Just let me ask him somethin'! Ow!" So Steve was there too.

"Gimme the phone, man! You can talk after! I had it first!"

Dally shook his head and surpressed a grin. He really missed the guys. "We're fine, Two-Bit." Dally said when he was sure Two-Bit was back on the other line.

"But Darry said-"

"Some shit happened... it was pretty bad. But Johnny's gonna be ok. Darry'll fill you in."

Soda, Steve and Two-Bit got in another tiff over the phone and Dally actually had to hold the reciever away from his ear. Darry finally got the phone away from them and sent them to the living room.

Faintly in the background, Dally heard Ponyboy's tired voice, "What the hell's goin' on you guys?"

And then Two-Bit, who sounded close to tears, "Somethin's wrong with Johnny!"

"Two-Bit!" Darry yelled.

Dally let out a laugh, finally. "Sorry, man."

"Yeah, yeah... " Darry groaned. "Get some sleep Dal. We'll give you a call tomorrow. Tell Johnny we miss him. And that we're all real sorry."

"Will do, man. Thanks."

They hung up and Dally just stood in the kitchen for a while. He felt a little guilty for having upset everyone, but hearing all the voices had made him feel better. Then he went up to bed.

The day of the funeral came quickly. Wendy had bought suits for both Dally and Johnny and both refused to wear them. Johnny because he was still angry and Dally because he hated suits. But Dally did try to make himself somewhat presentable by wearing the dress shirt under his leather jacket. He would do that much for Wendy. But not Johnny. He came out wearing his old jeans jacket and his old sneakers. Dally was sure that, had he been able to find some, he would also be wearing hair grease.

No one spoke in the car on the way to the church. Matt, Will and Grandma Cade rode together and Johnny and Dally rode with Tom and Wendy. No one said a word about Johnny's choice of clothing.

Dally was surprised when they pulled in the parking lot to see a fairly large crowd filing into the church. Once inside, he looked around at all the people and wondered if they were all actually there to mourn the deceased or if they were friends of the family.

Johnny wasn't saying much, but he was sticking right beside Dally. Dally glanced over at him and noticed his expression. It was a mixture of stunned nervousness and depression. He was looking at the coffins.

Dally leaned down and asked quietly, "You ok, kiddo?"

Johnny looked up at him nodded somewhat reluctantly.

"You wanna go outside or something and get some air, you just let me know."

Johnny didn't answer.

"You recognize any of these people?"

"Maybe one or two," Johnny replied softly.

After a few moments, a couple approached the boys. The man reached out and shook Johnny's hand.

"Hello, Johnny," he said. "We're very sorry for your loss."

It sounded forced, like the man didn't want to be talking to him. Dally couldn't quite read him, but something was up with this guy.

"We're so sorry Johnny," the woman said, reaching out and touching Johnny's arm. She seemed far more genuine.

Johnny just nodded and looked very uncomfortable.

"Ah... Caroline couldn't make it," the man said clearing his throat. "She wasn't feeling well."

Johnny nodded again and looked at the floor.

Liar! Dally thought. Caroline's parents. That's who they were.

The man glanced at Dally and gave him a nod, then he put his arm around his wife and solemnly lead her to their seats.

Dally watched them walking away and suddenly realized that this series of events would have much more far reaching effects on Johnny's life than he had initially realized.

Johnny had sat down on one of the church pews and was staring sadly at his shoes. Dally put a hand on his shoulder and sat down beside him.

Wendy came over then and got down beside Johnny. She put her hand on his arm.

"You doing ok, sweetheart?" she asked softly.

Dally watched her. He could see the pain she was hiding. He could tell she was putting forth some effort to keep herself together and she was doing a good job. Her black dress was pressed and perfect, not a hair was out of place. Her pearl necklace and her black pillbox hat made her look as stately as anyone Dally had ever seen outside of on television ..she looked absoloutely beautiful. Her concern for her "two boys" as she'd started calling them was helping her to ignore her own sorrow.

Johnny glanced at her and nodded. He was still hiding in his shell, but Dally noticed that he seemed to be responding to her a little more now.

Will was going to be the problem. Johnny wouldn't so much as look at him.

Wendy reached over and patted Dally's arm before taking a seat.

The sermon was brief and there were no speakers besides the minister. He told a few sugar-coated tales about Maria and Robert Cade, but offered no details about the lives that Dally knew.

Dally would have loved to have had the chance to say his piece. Wouldn't they all just pass out cold if I got up there and told them all what those two were really like? Dally wondered. Some of them knew what they were like, but the ones that didn't would have been in for an earfull.

But Dally kept quiet. He remembered then a young Johnny Cade on the steps of his parents home in Tulsa waiting for his father to come home. Dally had been near by and had seen Robert Cade pull up in his beat up old car. He got out and walked up the steps, right past Johnny without so much as a glance, as though he didn't even exist. Dally remembered the sick feeling he got as he watched Johnny's expression change from one of hopeful excitement to disheartened lonliness. That had been in the beginning, when Dally barely knew Johnny. And the more he got to know Johnny, the more he realized that things were far worse than a neglectful parent.

He remembered the day they saw Johnny limping across the lot towards the Curtis house. Dally was still somewhat new to the gang, but he had already developed a bit of a protectiveness for Johnny.

He had run up to him and demanded to know who had hurt him so badly. He had cursed the socs and the neighboring gangs and swore he'd find the bastards that had done that to him. It was Darry who had pulled him aside while Soda helped Johnny up the steps of their porch. Darry was the one who told him that it was Johnny's father. Dally remembered the anger he had felt. Because he knew there was nothing he could do.

Dally closed his eyes breifly, trying to force the images from his mind.

And Johnny too remembered how things had been in Tulsa. Why? He kept asking himself. Why...He was feeling so numb inside right now. And he was glad for that, because it kept him from crying.

He knew in his head that Wendy and Grandma and Tom... and as much as he hated to admit it, even Will had never meant for things to come to this. But it would be a while before he knew it in his heart.

Dally felt the anger brewing in him again. He could see Johnny out of the corner of his eye, he could sense his saddness. And all around him, the Cade family sat, all full of sorrow and pain. And there had always been pain for Johnny and for Dally too. The streets of Tulsa had been a lonly place-

"...'I will be a Father to you and you will be my sons and daughters', says the Lord Almighty." the minister's voice quoting scripture cut into Dally's thoughts. "I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you.' John 14:18"

_What_? Dally thought incredulously. _Not leave you orphans_? Bull! How can this guy read a line like that here? He almost couldn't stop himself from shooting his mouth off right then and there. Orphans! What did this guy know? Johnny had been an orphan long before the death of his parents. So had Dally himself, for that matter.

The minister kept reading and Dally continued to feel anger until something the minister said stopped his thoughts cold. "Then you will call, and the Lord will answer: you will cry for help, and He will say: 'Here I am.' Isaiah 58:9"

Here I am. The words seemed to echo in Dally's mind.

And there came a moment then where something inside Dally froze. It was a moment during which he could not say for sure, but he would always wonder if God had spoken somehow, someway, directly to him. He had a jolting and sudden memory of lying in the rain, on the pavement, crying... thinking that Johnny was gone. Begging God not to let Johnny be dead. He remembered the lightning and running home. He remembered how he had felt when he saw Johnny lying in his bed asleep, safe and sound. He thought of the gang, how glad he was that when he called them, he didn't have to tell them that they'd lost Johnny. Because they were his family. They had always been his family. He had always thought of himself a loner, a vagrant...unwanted and unloved but that had never been true at all. He'd never been truly alone. He didn't have his parents, but he'd never been alone.

He sat there in stunned silence for a moment. It was something he supposed he had always known, but never processed until now. And then he looked behind him. There was Will and Matt. And beside him was Wendy and Tom and Grandma Cade... more family. Johnny's family. He glanced briefly to his left. Johnny sat, with his head down, his black hair trimmed neatly in the back and no longer hanging over his eyes. Dally watched him with renewed solace. He was going through a lot of pain, but he was alive. And Dally knew he would be ok.

Johnny sensed Dally looking at him and met his gaze for a moment. In that brief glance, in those sad and soulful black eyes, Dally saw a trace of that ernest admiration that Johnny's eyes always held when he looked at Dally... something Dally had become so accustomed to seeing that he had sort of forgotten about it. But with the realization that it was still there, and had always been, he found a sense of peace. He had never been alone. _They_ had never been alone.

_He can remember the times that he thought,  
'Does my daddy love me? Probably not.'  
But that didn't stop him from wishing that he did.  
Didn't stop him from wanting or worshiping him.  
_

_He guesses he saw him about once a year,  
He can still feel the way he felt standing in tears,  
Stretching his arms out as far as they'd go,  
Whispering Daddy, I want you to know,_

_I love you this much  
And I'm waiting on you  
To make up your mind,  
Do you love me too?  
No matter what it takes  
I'm never giving up,  
No matter what, I love you this much._

_He grew to hate him for what he had done  
'Cause what kind of father, could do that to his son  
He said 'damn you daddy', the day that he died  
The man didn't blink, but the little boy cried_

_I love you this much and I'm waiting on you  
To make up your mind, do you love me to?  
However long it takes  
I'm never giving up  
No matter what, I love you this much_

_Half way through the service  
While the choir sang a hymn  
He looked up above the preacher  
And he sat and stared at him_

_He said "Forgive me Father"  
When he realized  
That he hadn't been unloved or alone all his life  
His arms were stretched out as far as they'd go  
Nailed to the cross, for the whole world to know_

_I love you this much and I'm waiting on you  
To make up your mind, do you love me to?  
However long it takes  
I'm never giving up  
No matter what, I love you this much_


	47. When You Stand Beside the Ocean

Almost a week had passed since the funeral and Johnny was showing little sign of improvement. He still slept a lot, ate very little and talked even less. He had not gone to school since the day of the "incident" as everyone had started calling it. It seemed like a different girl came by the house each day with Johnny's homework, sometimes two. But never Caroline. Though there were probably a million other things bothering Johnny, Dally figured this was probably near the top of the list.

The girls came in their prettiest dresses, their hair and makeup just so, all hoping to catch a glimple of the now even more mysterious Johnny Cade who, with Caroline apparently out of the picture, was now fair game.

At first Dally found this all very amusing. He even commandeered a date or two for himself out of the batch of girls. This prompted a long and ridiculous conversation with Grandma Cade about a young girl's virtue and the reputation of the entire Cade family, which from what Dally could see was pretty much shot by now anyway. But, in the interest of keeping what shaky peace there was around the Cade household, Dally declined future offers of outings with the ladies that frequented the front porch. For now.

Dally knew he could have had all the dates he wanted right under Grandma Cade's nose, if he had chosen to do so. She had other things to worry about; first and foremost was how much longer she was going to tolerate Johnny's truancy from school.

Johnny had somehow made his peace with her, which had surprised Dally, but Grandma Cade was one tough lady. There really wasn't much arguing with her. She had had a long talk with Johnny one day and after that, Johnny started to interact with her. At least as much as he was interacting with anyone that he was on speaking terms with. Which at this point, included everyone but Will Cade. Dally could tell this just devastated Will, but he really didn't know what to do about it. Any time he tried to talk to Johnny about Will, Johnny would get all quiet and crawl back into his emotional shell. Dally had stopped bringing it up.

It was a warm afternoon when Dally ran into Caroline, purely by accident. He and Will had gone out to pick up some tools for the repair of the barn when Dally spotted her across the street with some other girls going into a soda shop.

He didn't know why he felt compelled to talk to her, but without even thinking, he told Will he'd be right back and he went running across the street.

"Caroline!" he called out.

She looked up, startled and then looked around, nervously.

"Hey," Dally said.

"Hi," Caroline answered shyly, her eyes downcast in guilt.

Her friends whispered, eyeing Dally.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Dally asked after nodding slyly and winking at the other girls. This sent them all into a tizzy of breathless giggles. But Caroline just looked sad and to tell the truth, a little scared. "Just for a minute..." Dally said softly, dropping his tough facade to put Caroline at ease.

"All right," she nodded, following Dally to a bench on the sidewalk. They both sat down. Caroline would not look at him.

"So what gives, anyhow?' he asked.

And to his shock, Caroline started to cry.

"Hey... hey, come on, don't cry. I ain't mad or nothin', I was just wondering what happened!" Dally said nervously. He'd seen girls cry before... hell, he'd made girls cry, but he never liked it. It made him very uncomfortable. But with Caroline, he just felt bad, the difference being that he actually liked her. Not in a romantic way. He liked her because she was nice to Johnny. Was... Dally reminded himself.

"Is... is Johnny ok?" Caroline asked through muffled sobs. "He... he doesn't come to school and my parents... they w-won't let me see him."

Dally nodded. He had figured as much. He had, for a moment or two, entertained the thought that it was Caroline who had decided not to see Johnny anymore after everything that had happened, but it just didn't seem likely.

"Johnny's all right." Dally started to reach out an touch her arm, but then stopped himself, not knowing what was considered appropriate. "Why won't they let you see him?"

Caroline could barely get the words out. "I felt so bad, I just wanted to talk to him, I wanted to come to the funeral, to tell him I was so sorry, but they just wouldn't allow it. Daddy thinks he's... dangerous, or at least he has a dangerous past, that's what he said... th-they don't want me to go over there because of what happened. They'd drag me home right now if they caught me talking to you."

"That's crazy!" Dally started to protest, but realized he was not talking to someone who needed convincing. Damn whatever's appropriate, he thought and took Caroline's chin, tilting her face up to dry her eyes with the cuff of his shirt sleeve. "C'mon, doll. Don't cry...you're turning those beautiful blue eyes all red."

She managed a weak smile. "Do you think... he's mad at me for not coming?"

"Johnny? Mad at you?" Dally laughed a little. "Not a chance. I think he really misses you," Dally added.

"Really?" she asked hopefully.

"Sure!"

"Oh, Dally, do you think you could tell him that I miss him too? I miss him so much! And that I feel so terrible about what happened."

Dally rolled his eyes good naturedly. "I ain't in the habit playing Cupid and getting all sappy, but for a gorgeous dame like you? Why not."

She let out a bit of a laugh then. And then her eyes grew serious. "I know a lot of girls have been going by to see him. I told one of my friends that my father had forbidden me to see him again and it was all over the school in an hour!"

Dally shook his head. "Dames. Oh..uh- I mean, some friend!"

"Well," Caroline continued, "I know there are a lot of girls that are interested in seeing him."

Dally surpressed a chuckle. The innocence of this girl and probably the others in this town was just fascinating to him. He'd never met anyone like her. Dally thought about how horrified she would be if she could see where Johnny and Dally had come from. How shocked she would be at the girls that dated guys like Dallas Winston. That was probably why her parents were so suddenly protective of her. A little piece of East-Side-Tulsa had followed Johnny to this quiet town and reared it's ugly head. But Dally was getting the impression that it was not both parents that were the problem.

"It's mostly your dad, isn't it?"

Caroline's now bloodshot eyes widened. "Yes! Mother thinks he's being ridiculous, really. She just goes along with him."

Dally raised his eyebrows. "Ridiculous, huh? Well, there's your window."

"My window?" Caroline looked confused.

"Sure," Dally started to take out a cigarette, but then thought better of it. "Your window of opportunity. You know, your chance to make things go the way you want them to."

"I don't understand."

"Get your mom to wear down your dad. Broads- ah, ladies... have a way of being very persuasive if they want to be. Just get your mom on your side, you know, sweet talk her and all, and it'll be two against one. There'll be no stopping you. Oh, and cry a lot, too."

"I already do that. But not in front of anyone-"

"No, no, no. Do it right where he can see you." Dally coached.

Caroline stared at him. "I don't know if that'll work, but I'll try." She said, still looking confused.

But Dally looked pretty confident and that made her feel better.

"Oh," Dally added. "And about those girls... the ones that came by the house? Don't worry, Johnny wouldn't give them the time of day."

Caroline smiled at him then.

Dally grinned at her. "I'll give Johnny your message, and I'll make sure he's back in school on Monday."

Caroline's jaw dropped. "Really? Oh, Dally thank you! Thank you so much!" she leaned over and kissed his cheek in classic Southern Belle fashion and then hurried off to her friends who were now swooning and flapping around like excited sparrows.

Dally's eyes widened. "See, doll?" he said when she was well out of earshot inside the soda shop. "You're a natural at this persuasive thing."

Dally thought about his promise to Caroline as he and Will drove home. It was likely that Johnny would go back to school on Monday anyhow because Grandma Cade was getting fed up, too. But it was time to get Johnny back on his feet. He should _want_ to go back to school. For crying out loud, Dally thought, he should want to _get up_ in the morning!

Dally turned to Will. "Hey, do you know Caroline's parents pretty well? Her dad?"

"Yeah, why?" Will asked.

Dally repeated what Caroline had told him. "Maybe you should go talk to him. Set him straight, you know?" Dally said.

Will thought about that for a moment. "Yeah... yeah, kind of sounds like I should. I didn't realize..." he trailed off, staring at the road, obviously taken aback that someone could consider Johnny dangerous.

Dally stared at the road too for a moment. He heard the tone of Will's voice. Ordinarily, he would have stayed out of something like this. But he liked Will. And he'd decided that Johnny wasn't being very fair. An idea was brewing in his mind. "So, uh...can I borrow the Corvette tomorrow?"

Will swallowed. "Why?"

"I got an idea that might snap Johnny out of this mood he's in."

Will's expression changed then from fear to hopefulness. "Dally, if you can get him out of this mood, you can borrow that car anytime you want."

Dally grinned. Sure, he could have used Buck's car, but what fun would that have been?

Johnny was up in his room when Dally and Will got back. The kid hadn't been outside in days. But Dally had already decided that this had gone far enough. He had a plan formulated now. He would wake Johnny up bright and early in the morning.

'If it goes too far, you'll know', Darry had said. He was right. Dally knew. This had to stop.

The next morning as the sun was just getting ready to come up, Dally wandered into Johnny's room.

"Hey," Dally shook Johnny's shoulder.

Johnny let out a muffled whimper and turned his face into the pillow. He had slept in his clothes again, his old beat up jeans from Tulsa and an old black t -shirt.

"C'mon, get up, kid. We gotta go."

Johnny turned his head back to Dally and opened one eye slightly.

Dally frowned. It was never this hard to wake Johnny. He slept lightly and would awaken easily. "C'mon, kid. You can't be that tired. You slept all day yesterday. Now get up! We gotta go."

Johnny sat up sleepily and rubbed his eyes. Now that they were open, Dally's heart sank. That "look" was still there. That blank, dead, lost spirit look. He hadn't decided which was worse, this new look, or the old fearful, nervous one he'd been used to for so long.

It didn't matter. He didn't like either one and he was bound and determined to get rid of both. He was going to see happiness in those eyes if it was the last thing he did.

"Where?" Johnny asked, his voice hoarse from sleep.

"Somewhere. Don't ask questions, just get up." Dally said, getting irritated that he was going to have to explain things if Johnny started questioning. Johnny usually just did what he was told.

He started throwing a few of Johnny's things into a suitcase... extra clothes, towels, shoes. It was all he could find to carry things in.

Johnny threw back the blankets and hopped out of bed. He looked eagerly at Dally.

Dally stopped and regarded his sudden change in attitude, a nervous feeling forming in his mind.

"Are we going home?"

Damn! Dally shot him a look that said 'if you don't shut up and get dressed you'll be going to the local morgue'. But behind the angry look, he was filled with guilt. He knew that was what Johnny really wanted.

Johnny read Dally's look to mean they were not going back to Tulsa and his posture showed his disappointment. "Look, Dal, I'm kinda tired. I ain't really in the mood for goin' anywhere-"

Dally threw down the suitcase cover. He put on his best threatening face and was inwardly pleased with the look of surprise he got from Johnny. "You better get in the mood, kid. This has gone on long enough. What is with this get-up, anyway?" Dally asked indicating Johnny's clothes. "This ain't who you are anymore, Johnny."

Johnny looked dejected and turned towards the door.

"You better be headed for the shower." Dally said.

"I'm going downstairs to watch TV."

Dally threw down the pair of socks he was holding and stormed over to Johnny. He stepped in front of him and got right in his face. "Look, kid, I've about had enough of this. Don't you get it? He'd dead, Johnny. He's DEAD."

Johnny was getting nervous. He didn't like it when Dally got angry.

"He's been dead for days, but it's like he's still smacking you around with two by fours and you're the one handing him the boards!"

Dally was yelling now and he braced himself for the inevitable look of hurt he saw in Johnny's eyes as he continued. "He's still hurting you and he's not even here, you know why? Because you're letting him! You're letting him, Johnny!"

Johnny backed up. Dally took a step forward. "You need to let go, Johnny. They're both dead, you have to let it go!"

Johnny's head shot up then and a look of anger burned in his eyes.

There, Dally thought. "Go ahead," he challenged, his voice raising. "Get mad. You should be mad! They took 16 years of your life, Johnny. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna stand here and watch this go on! Don't you give them one more day! Not one more damn day!"

The anger flickered out as Johnny let Dally's words sink in.

Dally lowered his voice. "You said you trusted me. Did you really mean it?"

Johnny looked him in the eyes. "Yeah, I trust you."

"Then get ready and get in the car." Dally said and turned back to putting things in the suitcase.

Johnny went down the hall to the bathroom and got ready to leave.

When he came back, he was quiet again. His hair was still wet from the shower and he wore a new pair of jeans, a clean t-shirt and a grey hooded sweatshirt that Wendy had bought him. He didn't ask any questions, except one.

"Dally," he started cautiosly. He could tell Dally was on edge.

Dally looked up from the small pile of supplies he was arranging, daring Johnny to start up again.

"If we're going far away... can Coal come too?"

Dally's expression softened. He paused for a minute. "Johnny, when- and if- we decide to go far away... yeah, Coal will come too. Right now, I just... I want you to see something. Trust me, OK?"

Johnny looked at him hesitantly for a moment, and then he nodded. He had more questions, but he decided to keep his mouth shut.

He followed Dally downstairs and out into the driveway. The air was quiet and cold and dew still covered the ground. The first rays of sunlight had only just begun to peek over the hills and everything smelled like morning.

To Johnny's surprise, Dally started putting the top down on the Corvette and then hopped into the driver's seat.

Johnny stopped, his mind racing. What was Dally thinking? Was he stealing Will's car? Was he crazy? Did anyone know about this? Oh, Will would be so mad at Johnny for doing this-

Wait, Johnny thought. What do I care?

Dally watched Johnny's expression change from one of fear and doubt to one more like... well, like a Dallas Winston expression. And he got in the car without another word.

Satisfied that Johnny was not going to start up again with questions, Dally adjusted the mirror and started the engine.

They drove for what felt to Johnny like hours. They hardly spoke. Johnny still had a lot weighing on his mind, and Dally just wasn't sure what he could talk about with Johnny right now. Anything unrelated to the events of the past week just felt like superficial small talk and he had decided to wait to tell Johnny about Caroline until a little later.

Though still overcome with hurt and confusion to the point where almost nothing mattered to him, the silence was piquing Johnny's curiosity.

A few times he looked over at Dally and started to say something, and then he would sink back into his emotional shelter and just stare out the window.

Once Dally had to pull over and consult a map. Johnny leaned over to see what he was looking at and Dally pulled the map away and gave Johnny a playful shove. "Hey! No looking!"

Johnny laughed a little. "C'mon, Dal! Where are we going?" He tried to look at the map again and Dally closed it quickly and hit him with it.

"You'll see." Dally replied simply and went back to driving.

Johnny frowned and leaned back in his seat. The wind was cold and he wrapped his sweatshirt tighter around himself. But the fresh air felt good. He hadn't realized how long it had been since he'd been outside. He stared at the trees flying past him and eventually fell asleep.

"Johnny... Johnnycake, wake up..."

Johnny opened his eyes and looked around. Tulsa? Could he have slept long enough for them to be in Tulsa? No, this was definitely not Tulsa. What was that sound? There was a strange wooshing sound and a gentle calming breeze coming from beyond a grassy hill. He got out of the car and jogged to catch up with Dally who was already disappearing behind the tall weeds.

Johnny stopped in his tracks when he saw it. Suddenly the grass stopped and acres of sand stretched out before him and beyond that, the most massive expanse of water he had ever seen. He took a few unsteady steps forward, not looking at all at where he was going and stumbled a bit over some driftwood.

"Whoa, watch where you're goin', kid." Dally said catching him by the arm.

But Johnny's gaze was fixed straight ahead. "What is that?" he asked, his eyes wide and his voice quiet with wonder.

Dally looked back towards the water. "Africa."

Johnny looked at him. "What?"

"I don't know, maybe Spain? Or what the hell else is over there, uh...France? I don't know... It's the ocean, Johnny."

Johnny's eyes were wide as he took in the sight before him. A breeze whispered across his face and gentle rolling waves crept up on the sand and then receeded back into the vastness. The sky stretched out forever. Johnny had stood there almost a full minute before Dally broke the silence.

"Well, what do ya think?"

Johnny, without taking his eyes off the blue grey water, replied almost hypnotically. "I've... never seen anything like this."

Dally folded his arms proudly as though the ocean were his and he was showing it off.

Johnny took a step forward and then something else caught his eye. He looked down quickly and sucked in his breath. "Dal, look! Is this a seashell? I think I found a seashell!"

Dally raised his eyebrows as he watched Johnny pick up the small white shell next to his feet and stare at it in utter amazement. Then he held it out excitedly for Dally to see.

"Uh... yeah... that's a seashell all right."

"Wow..."

"Uh... Johnnycake," Dally scratched his head and regarded Johnny with veiled amusement. "There's probably about a million more of those closer to the water."

"Really?" Johnny looked at him as though he had told him there was gold and silver lining the shore of the beach.

"Yeah, really." This was actually working even better than Dally had expected. Johnny looked completly in awe of his surroundings.

"Well, I'm starved." Dally said then as he clapped his hands together. "You wanna go get something to eat?"

Johnny finally tore his gaze away from the Atlantic to stare at Dally incredulously. "Huh?"

Dally had to fight to keep a straight face.

"You drove all the way out here to show me this and now we're gonna 'go get something to eat'?" Johnny asked, still staring at Dallas as though he had suggested they try to drive the car across the ocean.

Dally tried to look innocently surprised and somewhat offended. "Look, man, I skipped breakfast! I gotta eat. Why don't uh... you stay here while I go find some food?"

Johnny looked back at the ocean. "All right."

"Ok. I'll be back in a little while."

Johnny watched as Dally walked off and disappeared behind the dunes. Then he turned his eyes back to the sea. He watched transfixed as the waves rolled in and pulled back. The more he watched, the more he became aware of a peaceful feeling coming over him. He began to feel small. His problems began to feel small. There were bigger, better, more powerful things all around him. A voice that was not a voice spoke to him about how vast the world was... how many things he had yet to see.

About a half hour had passed when Dally came strolling back over the dunes again carrying a box of food. He stopped just as the sand began to flatten out, noting with interest that Johnny was still standing in the same place that Dally had left him. He stood gazing off into the distance, his arms folded tight against his grey sweatshirt, the breeze blowing his hair. But he had apparently not been in that spot the whole time, there were footprints everywhere.

And then he suddenly took a step forward. Dally waited. Another step. The waves receeded. Step step step. Then the waves came rushing in again and Johnny stepped backwards quickly. He did this a few times and then caught sight of another shell. He stopped to pick it up and Dally cringed as he watched another wave come crashing into shore, soaking Johnny almost up to the knee.

Dally started laughing and almost dropped the box he was carrying. He started walking again and called out. "Geez, Johnny, why don't you take your shoes off?"

Johnny looked up, his face reddening, unaware that Dally had been watching him.

Dally strolled up to where Johnny was standing and plopped himself down on the sand.

"Find anymore seashells?" He asked with a coy grin as he started eating.

Johnny made a face at him, but Dally noticed that both of his sweatshirt pockets were weighted down and looking rather lumpy. Dally shook his head and laughed.

Johnny kept strolling back and forth along the edge of the water for a while as Dally gorged himself on french fries.

"Hey, Johnny! Ain't you hungry, kid?"

Johnny looked over at the food and then back at the ocean. "Yeah, I guess," he said finally decideing to go and sit down.

Dally was relieved to see that he was finally going to eat something.

Dally looked at him seriously then. He decided to get right to the point of this little excursion. "You got some thinkin' to do, kid."

"Yeah, I know." Johnny chewed absently on one of the fries. They were quiet for a while.

"This place makes you feel... different," Johnny said quietly, watching the waves.

Dally nodded.

Then Johnny turned and looked at him. "That's why you brought me here isn't it?"

Dally didn't answer. He just kept on eating.

"How'd you know?" Johnny asked.

"Huh?"

"How'd you know... about the ocean?"

"Everybody knows about the ocean."

"C'mon, Dal, you know what I mean."

Dally chewed uncomfortably on the end of his straw. He looked out at the waves and sighed the way he did when he didn't really want to talk about something. "My grandmother..."

Johnny raised his eyebrows, but said nothing.

"When I was in New York and my parents were about to split for good... she took me to see the ocean."

"How old were you?" Johnny asked cautiously. He knew that hearing Dally open up about anything in his past other than criminal mischief was like trying to keep a soap bubble from popping.

"Not very. Anyhow, it uh... made things not so bad... for a while, you know, so I could think, clear my head. When I was a little older, I went once... after she was gone."

And that was it, the bubble popped. That was all he was going to get, he could tell by the tone of voice. But he was impressed that he'd gotten that much.

"So, yeah. I brought you hear so you could think. You gotta decide what you want to do. And if you decide you really want to go back to Tulsa, I thought of a way we might be able to keep social services away from you for a little while, but I don't know."

"How? I can't live with the Curtises The people from the state are already breathing down their necks."

"No, you can't really stay with the Curtises...but I'm 18 now." In the midst of all the chaos, Dally's eighteenth birthday had come and gone with no one noticing. Not even the birthday boy himself. He had woken up one morning and just remembered.

Johnny's head shot up. "What?" He thought for a minute. "Oh my gosh, Dal, I forgot, sorry-"

Dally shook his head and waved away Johnny's appology. "Nah, kid, I don't care... I'm just saying that maybe you could stay with me if I got a job or something. I mean, I kind of doubt that the state would let that fly for too long, but by the time they mess around with all their paper work, you'd probably be getting pretty close to 18 yourself."

Johnny looked at him with disbelieving admiration. "You'd do that for me?"

Dally's eyes narrowed, sensing he'd showed a bit too much compassion for a tough hood. "Yeah, but I'd put you right to work. Don't think you'd sit around like Two-Bit does after school. And for your 18th birthday you're getting a swift kick out the door."

But Johnny wasn't fooled. He grinned and laughed.

Dally shook his head and looked at the sand, something was obviously weighing heavily on his mind. "You know, there's nothing that would make me happier than to just bring you back home and forget all this... except for one thing."

Johnny looked expectantly at him. When Dally looked up, the expression on his face surprised Johnny. He looked... sad, tired almost.

"I'd rather see you safe and happy and surrounded by people who can give you a future. We can't do that for you kid." He said 'we' and Johnny knew he meant the gang.

So this is what it came down to. He had to chose between his two families.

"There's no future for you in Tulsa, Johnny. You wouldn't be happy and God knows we all tried to protect you, but we never really could."

"Don't say stuff like that, Dal." Johnny said quietly, pushing the sand around with his wet sneaker.

"It's true, kid. And you know it. You need a real family."

Johnny looked up then, struggling to keep back tears. "You are my real family!"

Dally steadied himself and didn't break Johnny's gaze. "And we always will be Johnnycake... but you need to make a choice. I know you're still kind of mad about all that went on, but you need to really think about this... They never meant to hurt you, buddy. Believe me, if I thought for one second that they did, we'd already be back in Tulsa. They're good people, Johnny. They really care about you."

Johnny stared sadly at the sand.

"But if what you really want is to go back to Tulsa, then that's what we'll do. I wanted to make sure you thought about this with a clear head. It's time to make up your mind and I ain't gonna tell you what to do this time, Johnny. I can't."

Something about the finality of that statement scared Johnny for a minute. Dally was stepping down. He was handing control to Johnny. And Johnny was going to fly. Or he was going to crash and burn.


	48. When One Door Closes

_"I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean.  
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens."_  
Lee Ann Womack - "I Hope You Dance"

Johnny sat quietly, fiddling with his shoelaces. Dally finished his Coke in silence. The sun was making it very warm outside, even though the November breeze was still a bit cool. Johnny took off his sweatshirt and laid it on the sand. Dally wanted to laugh at the clinking sound it made when Johnny set it down from all the shells in his pockets, but he just wasn't in the mood for laughing. Johnny had slipped off his wet shoes too and was heading down to the water again. Once he reached the spot where the waves dampened the sand, he rolled up his pant legs and waded a little ways into the water.

After a few minutes, Dally joined him. They both just walked in silence for a few minutes, moving further and further away from their original spot.

And then Johnny stopped. He stared out at the spot where the sea and the sky converged and marveled at the vastness of the body of water before him. He thought about Tulsa. He remembered the gang. He thought about all the good times he'd had with them and how they had looked out for him. He would never stop missing the group of boys he'd grown up with as family.

Then he thought about the harshness of life in Tulsa, of life as a greaser. How sad he had been there... and how angry Dally had been.

He glanced at Dally now. He was poking around in the water with his bare foot, staying a few steps back from Johnny, giving him space. As Johnny watched him things began to become clear.

Something was different about Dally now. The blazing anger and hatred of the world was not in his eyes anymore. It hadn't been for some time now. Johnny had noticed its abscence a few days after Dally came to visit him the first time. Dally had come all the way out to see him, and Johnny knew full well the purpose of Dally's first visit. He had come to take Johnny home.

Then Dally met the family. And he stayed a while. He experienced family from a different perspective. Here, Dally was no longer a parental figure. He was not the protector, but the protected. It was something Dally had never known. Johnny had seen a side of Dally over the past few days that he'd never seen before. He was relaxed... playful. Back home, the gang was always playing around, wrestling, goofing off. And Dally did these things too, but there was always something different. The playfulness was not there with Dally. There was always an aloofness to his goofing off. Always and edge, like he didn't want anyone to know that he wanted to play too. He would never show that.

And Johnny had seen something else in Dally that he had always sensed existed, but he had never witnessed. It was a kind of protective loyalty that was fierce one minute but could be gentle too. A kind of devotion that would drive him to step in front of a loaded gun and take a bullet for someone else. It was a characteristic that sometimes Johnny thought only he knew about... and maybe Mr. and Mrs. Curtis. It went so far beyond the angry, hatred of the world that everyone else saw in him. When Johnny watched Dally fall by the river that day, the image of the cold, mean hoodlum who didn't love anyone or anything shattered. Johnny would never doubt the depth of Dally's character again. There was a catch in his throat as he thought about that.

The funny thing was, Matt, Wendy, Will, Tom and Grandma Cade all saw Dally's true character the minute they met him. They had trusted Dally immediately and accepted him as family. And that was when the look in his eyes had disappeared. Dally felt safe enough in this new place around these new people let his guard down. He trusted them. More importantly, he trusted them with Johnny.

And now, more than Johnny's own experiences with these people, more than the opportunities this new life afforded him, it was the visible emergence of this previously hidden side of Dally that helped Johnny to make a decision. If Dallas Winston, the toughest hood in Tulsa could feel safe and comfotable enough in a place to let himself be vulnerable, to let go of his anger, to let himself be a kid, possibly the first time, then there was something almost magical about this place, these people. Something not to be taken lightly. And something not to be dismissed. God had opened a door for him and it was time to walk through.

Dally was a still a few steps behind him, and he watched as Johnny took a deep breath and looked way out to sea. When Johnny finally looked at Dally, he knew he'd made a decision. And inside Dally felt incredible joy and pain at the same time, because he knew that Johnny had made the right choice. He could read it in Johnny's eyes. He could read the sorrow and the fear... and the hope.

Johnny took another deep breath. "I'm... really gonna miss you guys."

Dally gave him a weak smile. He took a few steps forward and threw his arm across Johnny's shoulder as they walked back to the spot they'd come from.

"You'll still see everybody. You're doing the right thing, kid." Dally said, forcing his voice to sound confident. And he was... confident that this was the best thing Johnny could do for himself.

There was a long silence as two friends accepted the fact that their paths were diverging.

Always known for being tough as nails, Dally was surprised at how little ability he had to handle emotional pain anymore. He decided that now would be a good time to bring up some good news. "I think Caroline will be really happy about this."

Johnny looked up, his eyes hopeful for a fleeting instant. But then he shook his head. "I don't think she'll care."

"Oh... I wouldn't be so sure about that. I saw her yesterday."

"You saw her?"

"Yup."

"Well, did... did you talk to her?"

"Yeah." Dally said trying to sound bored. But he was loving this. He felt better already.

Johnny did not want to look to eager, but he was very obviously restraining himself from grabbing Dally by the shirt collar and demanding information. Dally let the silence drag on, just to see how much Johnny could take. It wasn't much.

"What... what did she say?"

"Nothin'."

More silence.

"So... what did you guys talk about?"

Dally shrugged. "Ahh... you know... stuff."

Johnny stopped then and grabbed his hair with both hands as though he had a splitting head ache. "AAAGGHHH!" he yelled and then looked at Dally with pleading desperate eyes.

Dally doubled over laughing.

"Dal..." Johnny laughed weakly.

"Ok.. ok..." Dally straightened up and tried to stop laughing. "Uhh... no... this is _way_ too much fun. You wanna know what she said?"

"Yes!"

"How bad?"

Johnny stared at him in indignant disbelief.

Dally was taking out a cigarette and still laughing. "Bad enough to wade out in that freezing cold water?"

Johnny glared at him and turned towards the water and waded in up to his knees. Then he turned back and glared at him some more.

"Come on, that's all you got?" Dally asked.

Johnny looked tense, but went in a little further.

Dally followed down to the edge of the fridgid water, wading in up to his ankles. "Huh... I guess you really want to know..." he put his hands on his chin as though he was thinking over whether to tell Johnny or not. But before he could answer, a large wave came up behind Johnny, knocking him down.

"Dal-" Johnny cried out just before he went under.

Dally swore. "Johnny!" he yelled. He went in after him, and dragged him to the sand. "Johnny!" Dally shouted, shaking him.

Johnny opened his eyes and grinned. "Got ya!"

Dally swore again and sat back. He closed his eyes and let out his breath. "Don't ever do that again!"

Johnny propped himself up on his elbows, his teeth were chattering, but he was still grinning. "You gonna tell me now?"

Dally was shivering too as he glared at him. "Now I'm NEVER gonna tell you! You can just go ask her yourself-"

And then Johnny lept up and pounced on Dally. Dally was too taken aback to defend himself.

Dally struggled for a moment, but then gave up. Johnny's eyes lit up. He had finally done it- he had wrestled with all the guys in the gang before, but he'd never won. NEVER. But now here he was. He had pinned, of all people, Dallas Winston to the ground and was hovering over him, a mound of wet sand balanced precariously in his hand. Though he would always wonder if he had really won. Did it count if your opponent was laughing so hard they really couldn't fight back anyway?

"Johnny," Dally gasped through laughter. He didn't know why he was laughing. Ordinarily, something like this would have just fired him up and he would've fought back like a rabid animal. But this just cracked him up for some reason. Perhaps it was the fact that he'd never seen Johnny so desperate before. Johnny had a crazed look in his eye like he might actually let Dally have it if Dally didn't tell him what he wanted to know. He had a sudden image of quiet little Johnny working for the mob, getting information out of people. They'd call himThe Sandman. And with that thought, Dally just lost it. He couldn't stop laughing. "I swear, if you do that, you will regret it for the rest of your life." Dally tried his best to sound threatening, but he found that laughter did nothing to help instill fear in his opponent.

And Johnny wasn't backing down so easily. He knew Dally would get him in a big way if he really let him have a face full of sand, but he could at least threaten him with it. "Maybe..." he agreed. "But if I do this, you are _definitely_ going to regret it for the next half hour or so. _Now tell me what she said_!"

"Put down the sand!"

"You swear you'll tell me? No more messing around?"

"Yes! Fine!"

Johnny dropped the sand and sat back, a look of triumph on his face. And then he actually got up and jumped up and down, his own form of a little victory dance.

"This doesn't count, you know." Dally said, trying in vain to brush the sand off his wet clothes.

"Yeah, yeah. Spill it!"

Dally's teeth chattered. "She ss-said, that she misses you. And I promised her you'd be back in school on Monday."

Johnny's eyes widened. "How... how did you know?"

Dally shook his head, his face growing serious then. "You're not supid, kid. I knew once you could clear your head, you'd make the right desicion." Dally got up and started heading to the car. "C'mon, let's go get some dry clothes. I'm freezing, man."

Johnny followed. "Dry clothes? Where-"

"What do you think I was putting in that suitcase?" Dally asked. "I figured somebody would get soaked. I wasn't planning on it being me, but fortunately I brought enough clothes for both of us."

Johnny shook his head and laughed.

"Don't forget your shells," Dally said, pointing to Johnny's sweatshirt. "Those are hard to find."

Johnny gave him a shove and ran down the beach to get his sweatshirt.

Dally chased after him.

On the car ride home, they put the top up on the car and turned on the heat.

As promised, Johnny returned to school on Monday. He and Caroline only had a couple of days to see eachother at school before she went away for the Thanksgiving recess. But things seemed to be ok between the two of them suddenly. She even came to the house a few times. Dally wondered how much of it had to do with Will.

And Johnny started being civil to Will again. Not social, but civil which Dally figured was the best he was going to get for now.

On Thanksgiving day everyone gathered around the diningroom table. Matt even brought his girlfriend to dinner. It made Johnny and Dally feel even more at home now that they weren't the "new people" anymore. All attention was diverted from them to Linda.

The table was filled with the most food Dally had ever seen in one place at one time. He figured Johnny was thinking the same thing when his eyes widened at the spread set out before them. The only odd thing that both of them noticed was that there was no turkery. There was everything else under the sun, but no turkey. Dally of course was the only one without the good grace to keep quiet about it. He asked as soon as everyone sat down.

Grandma Cade rolled her eyes dramaticly and put down her napkin as though she were preparing to tell a tale of epic proportions. "My son and daughter find it barbaric."

Dally looked confused. "I've seen you serve turkey before," he said to Wendy, though not at all accusingly.

Wendy blushed slightly and Will grinned.

Grandma Cade continued. "Only on Thanksgiving, does she refuse to serve turkey."

"Mother, we've been through this. I don't think a holiday should revolve around a dead animal, as this one seems to have begun to do. It is barbaric. It's a day to be thankful for family... for life... the focus should not be on a carcass."

Grandma Cade shook her head again and looked to Will.

"Hey, don't look at me, she's right. It's a little out of control, don't you think?"

But Dally recognized the look that Grandma Cade was giving them. She saw their point. In fact, she probably agreed with them. But she liked to argue.

Johnny paused and then nodded. "Yeah... I guess that makes sense. That's tuff enough, huh, Dal?"

"Sure. As long as there's food on the table." he said, reaching for more potatoes.

"Exactly!" Wendy said.

Grandma Cade was convinced that one day Wendy would become vegetarian. She made a few more comments and Will jumped to Wendy's defense. Even Linda got into the coversation a little, but very obviously didn't want to step on any toes.

Johnny and Dally watched the exchanges curiously and then grinned at eachother and kept eating. There was plenty of food and neither one of them cared that there was no turkey. Not even Coal who sat quietly staring at Johnny throughout most of the meal until Dally started feeding him broccoli under the table.

"Dallas Winston!" Wendy scolded. " Are you feeding that dog at the table?"

Dally just grinned.

Matt shook his head. "Boy, Johnny, you really came a long way with him."

"With who, Dally?" Johnny asked jokingly.

Dally threw a piece of broccoli at him.

Matt laughed. "No, with Coal. Remember how he was when we found him? I really wasn't sure he was ever gonna be ok, but now look at him!"

Johnny patted Coal's head proudly.

Coal kept staring at Dally, hoping to get something besides broccoli.

"He was a real diamond in the rough, wasn't he?" Tom asked. "Kind of appropriate that you named him Coal."

Dally's ears perked up. "Why?" he asked, wondering if that comment had anything to do with what he thought it did.

Tom looked up. "Well, it's a reference to how diamonds start out as a piece of coal. You know, first they're just this dirty old rock, then one day, after millions of years under lots of pressure, they become a beautiful diamond, very valuable."

"Did you say _millions_ of years?" Dally asked remembering his piece of coal buried back at the lot.

Tom looked at him and grinned. Almost like he had suspected what Dally had done. "Yep. _Millions_ of years."

"Aww, man!" Johnny interjected.

Tom turned his attention away from Dally then and looked at Johnny.

"Ponyboy and I heard about that once in church and we buried a piece of coal in the lot. The minister never said it took that long. I guess that was a waste of time."

Dally's jaw dropped.

Fortunately, Tom didn't notice. "He probably didn't mention how far below the ground these diamonds form either, did he?"

Johnny shook his head. "Nope."

Dally rolled his eyes. "Kids!"

Tom, still smiling, shot him a knowing glance and Dally quickly focused his attention on cleaning his plate.

At the end of the Thanksgiving dinner, there was another surprise... Wendy brought out a big birthday cake for Dally.

Everyone sang and Dally groaned and glared at Johnny who just shrugged and grinned innocently at him.

There were even presents. But the one that surprised Dally the most was Tom's. He had wrapped up the keys to Buck's T-bird. Dally opened the little box and looked at Tom, puzzled.

"I figured I had three choices," Tom said with a sigh. "One- send you back to Tulsa to return it. Two- bring it back myself. Three- buy it. We're not done with the barn yet and we really need your help, I don't have time to be driving out to Tulsa, so happy birthday."

Dally just stared at him. "You bought me a car?"

Tom grinned, "Well, we all did."

"You bought me a car." Dally repeated. He shook his head. "Wow. Uh... thanks."

"How did you know it wasn't his?" Johnny asked.

"I was talking to Darry the other day and he said that some guy named Buck was ready to head out here and get his car back from Dally. Oh- I guess that was my fourth option, but I really didn't want anyone getting hurt over a car."

"It would've been Buck!" Dally said with conviction.

"Back in my day they'd have hanged you for those types of crimes." Grandma Cade scolded.

"Good thing that was a really long time ago!" Dally shot her a grin.

She shook her head and started clearing the table.

Dally just sat there grinning over the keys.

Days passed and the weather got a little colder. Johnny talked to the gang almost every other day on the phone. They were all very concerned about him and wanted constant updates on how he was doing. Ponyboy had been keeping his grades up and Johnny begged him to come out for a visit. Ponyboy promised to work on Darry.

Johnny was sleeping a little better for the most part now. He still had an occasional nightmare, but they were getting less vivid. One night he awoke just feeling a little unsettled. He sneaked downstairs and got a glass of milk and sat down at the kitchen table.

Moments later, he heard footsteps coming down the stairs and Wendy appeared in the kitchen.

"Johnny! What are you doing up, honey?" She asked coming over and feeling his forehead. "Don't you feel well?"

"I just couldn't sleep... Sorry I woke you up."

Wendy bent down and kissed his head. "You didn't. I was already awake. I was hiding Christmas presents. Are you all right? Why couldn't you sleep?"

Johnny shrugged. He felt funny telling Wendy he still had dreams. And things were definitely getting better, so he saw no real sense in discussing it.

She just smiled at his silence. "Well, you finish up you milk and go on back up to bed. You'd better try to get some rest because we're going to get a Christmas tree tomorrow."

Johnny perked up a bit and Wendy smiled inwardly.

"Have you ever gone out to the woods to get a Christmas tree?"

Johnny shook his head. "We usually didn't have a tree. Except once or twice, I think. A long time ago."

Wendy hid her shock.

But Johnny was actually sounding a little excited. "The Curtises had trees, but I never went with them to pick one out. They just bought them from some guy downtown. You really go out to the woods?"

"Yes! You'll just love it. And we'll get out all the decorations and spruce up this whole house!"

Johnny laughed a little. "You don't need to spruce up this house."

Wendy smiled at him and then got a mischevious look in her eyes. She tugged at Johnny's sleeve. "C'mon, I want to show you something."

Johnny followed her to the hall closet.

"There," she pointed. "Can you reach that box?"

Johnny stood on his toes and carefully pulled the box down off the shelf and handed it to Wendy.

Wendy carried it over to a table in the corner of the room.

"What is it?" Johnny asked.

"Oh, it's something very special, Johnny."

Johnny pulled back the cover and moved aside the papers that protected the contents of the box. Inside were several wooden figures of people and animals. There were kings and shepards and an angel. And a tiny baby in a manger.

"The manger scene?" Johnny asked.

Wendy nodded. "Yes, Johnny, but someone carved these all by hand."

Johnny pulled out one of the kings and studied it carefully. "Wow..." he said, admiring the detail and craftsmanship of the piece. "Who did all this?"

"Your grandfather."

Johnny's eyes widened. "You mean... your dad?"

Wendy nodded.

Johnny went back to studying the wooden figures, but with a new interest. It was as though, in some way, he was meeting his grandfather. He took each piece out of the box one at a time and looked at it. When he got to the angel, he looked a little more carefully... she looked familiar with her beautiful dark hair and big brown eyes. "Hey," he said looking at Wendy curiously. "This one looks just like you!"

Wendy laughed. "Yes, Dad carved her to look like that. When I was little we would get out the pieces and each play a part in acting out the Nativity as we were setting it up. I always wanted to be the 'Wendy Angel'."

"I can see why," Johnny said, gazing at the angel in his hand. "Hey, there's a crack... on the wing."

"Mmm...yes." Wendy nodded, but seemed hesitant to explain.

"What happened?"

"Uhh...well..." Wendy looked away from him. "Robert got angry at me once and broke it."

Johnny nodded knowingly. "Yeah, he used to do stuff like that to me too. You know, break stuff... or..." Johnny trailed off.

Wendy's heart felt like it was being ripped from her chest. She touched Johnny's hand. "Nobody will ever do anything like that to you again. Or to me...or Will."

"He used to be mean to Will too?" Johnny asked hesitantly. Part of him didn't want to talk about Robert Cade, but part of him really did.

Wendy nodded. "But we're all ok, aren't we? Our broken wings are all fixed," she said tapping the wooden angel's wing.She looked thoughtful for a moment and then shook her head. "It's ok anyway. It turned into a really special day with Dad. He took me down to his little work area in the basement and we fixed the angel together. Then he took me out for lunch to make me feel better. And I learned a little bit about forgiveness that day too," Wendy said hesitanty. "Dad said that was the only thing that would really make me feel better, and he was right. It's not always easy to do, but it really does work."

Johnny scowled a little. "You probably had a lot of opportunities to practice that with Robert around."

Wendy nodded sadly. "Yes, I did. We all did. It wasn't easy. Well, I'm sure I don't have to tell you that."

Johnny traced the crack with his finger. "Yeah, well, I'm sorry he broke your angel, anyway."

She smiled a little then. "Don't be. When I see that mended wing it just reminds me of that great day that I spent with Dad. I always say a little prayer everytime I look at her, you know, to thank God for the time that I had with him."

Johnny looked at her with admiration. She had a way of taking the bad and turning it into good. "He sounds like he was pretty cool."

Wendy nodded. "He was."

Johnny handed the angel to Wendy and gave here a bit of a smile.

The two of them set up the Nativity scene quietly. Outside, a few snowflakes began to fall from the sky.


	49. Early Christmas Gift

The hunt for the Cade family Christmas tree was quite an interesting adventure. It involved a snowball fight, a burdock war and a wrestling match. Very little of it revolved around the actual selection of a tree, at least from Johnny and Dally's perspectives. The two of them had been quiet at first, admiring the scenery and the wildlife that Tom pointed out. A light dusting of snow covered the ground and gave a slightly frosted look to the trees. They saw a deer, a hawk and a pair of rabbits that they watched for a good five minutes without moving. The rabbits stared back at them with big black eyes, frozen, as though their lack of motion made them virtually invisible.

But then Dally found the burdocks. He stuck one on Will's back. Then another. Then Johnny noticed and he stuck one on Will's arm. By the time Will realized what they were doing, he looked like some kind of strange, brown porcuine.

Dally laughed as Will chased him with a stick full of burdocks and finally stuck him with it.

Then the snowballs began to fly and it was all down hill from there. Will threw a snowball at Johnny who thought it had come from Dally and his retaliation lead to a tackling.

Dally and Johnny wrestling around in the snow made Wendy nervous.

"Dally... Dally you're going to hurt him!" she kept saying.

Johnny laughed. Dally had never hurt him. He saw Dally give Steve a bloody lip once, but Steve had pushed him too far. Johnny knew how much he could get away with before he was in danger of getting hurt.

"No I ain't!" Dally argued, pushing Johnny's head into the snow. "It's good for him! It builds his character."

"I'll build _you_ some character," Johnny yelled and kicked Dally off of him and into the branches of a nearby pine tree.

"Relax, dear." Tom patted Wendy's arm as she watched the boys rough-housing.

They finally did find the perfect tree and the guys all took turns carrying it home. They spent the rest of the night hanging the decorations drinking hot cocoa and listening to Tom play Christmas songs on the piano.

Days flew by and Dally showed no signs of going home, so Johnny never asked how long he palnned to stay. Everything felt so perfect. The only thing saddening Johnny now, besides really missing the gang, was that Caroline was going away for a while. She was going to New York to see relatives over the Christmas vacation.

Dally had taken the the two of them Christmas shopping one evening and he wasted no time in telling them how he would enjoy their temporary separation. They were getting "sickening", he had said. But Johnny and Caroline knew he was teasing them.

At one point during the shopping excursion Dally found two angel ornaments. A boy angel with black hair and a girl angel with blonde hair. He picked them up and made little kissing noises and acted out a scene in which the girl angel was flying away and the boy angel was chasing after her.

"Oh, Caroline," he cried in a high pitched voice. "Don't go, don't go!"

Johnny hid his face and shook his head.

Caroline laughed and took the boy angel from Dally. "Don't worry, I'll be back!" she said to it.

Johnny walked away from both of them and pretended to be really interested in some items in the back of the store.

Dally had started to take great pride in finding ways to embarass them both. He had started out carefully, but got progressively worse as he discovered Caroline had a sense of humor about the whole thing. That made it all the more fun because Caroline found it funny and Johnny would get annoyed.

Dally's latest trick was trying to snap a Polaroid picture of Johnny and Caroline kissing so he could send it out as his Christmas card to the gang back home.

He'd taken one from the upstairs window, but it was too dark out and it didn't come out.

Johnny didn't know whether to laugh or kill him in his sleep. He wished that he'd never told anyone about Dally's birthday. The camera had been a gift from Will.

But eventually, Johnny just gave up. The night Caroline was going to leave, he called Dally out to the porch so Dally could say goodbye to her.

"Got your camera ready?" Johnny asked, seeing Dally hiding it behind his back.

"No, what camera?"

Johnny shrugged and wrapped his arms around Caroline, dipped her passionately and kissed her.

A bright flash went off and Dally went running into the house.

Caroline was beet red and laughing. She looked at Johnny surprised. "What was that for?"

Johnny shook his head. "I figure now he'll leave us alone. At least till he comes up with something new."

"Too bad you didn't think of that sooner. Now he'll have two whole weeks to come up with something else!"

Johnny groaned. "We gotta get him a girl. Come on, I'll walk you home."

Christmas vacation was not supposed to start until the 22nd. But a few heavy snow falls had caused school closings, and Johnny got a couple extra days of vacation. This had thrilled Johnny to death, but strangely, Dally had seemed tense and irritable.

Johnny would come downstairs after finding out that school was closed and Dally would already be down there, staring out the window, looking pensively at the falling snow.

One morning, he heard Tom telling Dally to just calm down. Everything would be fine. Johnny had asked what was wrong and he'd gotten vague answers that made no sense to him. And he had been too excited and distracted by the snow days to worry about whatever it was that was going on.

One night, when the snow finally let up, Johnny saw Dally and Will taking off in Dally's T-Bird.

"Where are they going?" Johnny had asked Wendy, somewhat offended that he had not been invited to come along.

"Oh, I think they're doing some Christmas shopping," she said smiling.

Johnny had accepted that answer, but was concerned when Dally didn't show up well after all the stores would have closed.

"Do you think they're all right?" he had asked.

"Of course. Now go on up to bed. You don't want to get all worn down before Christmas, do you?" Wendy had insisted.

So Johnny went off to bed.

In the morning when he woke up, it was still dark, but he could see the T-Bird in the driveway and he breathed a sigh of relief.

He crept quietly downstairs. He was now officially on Christmas break, so he didn't have to worry that it was only snowing lightly outside. He had created a little routine that he had done the last two mornings since school had been canceled and he would do it again this morning. He went into the kitchen, let Coal out into the backyard, fixed himself some hot cocoa and took a short walk through the livingroom. First, he plugged in the Christmas tree and stared at the colorful bulbs on branches. Then he would study the ornaments. Each time he looked, he would find a new one that he hadn't noticed before. He was starting to wonder if Wendy was putting up new ones every night while he was asleep. But this time he found one that someone else had obviously hung on the tree. He smiled as he studied a little girl angel with blonde hair. It was the one from the gift shop where Dally had taken Johnny and Caroline Christmas shopping. He thought of Caroline and wondered how she was doing.

Then he went to the fireplace and looked at the stockings. Each one had a small name embroidered in silver thread just below the trim- Wendy, Tom, Matt, Grandma, Will, Johnny, Dally and a little one for Coal. Johnny traced the letters of his name with his finger. He'd never had a Christmas stocking before. There was something exciting about it. He knew it wasn't typical greaser behavior to be excited about anything, but it was getting harder and harder for him to contain it.

What would Dally say, he thought almost embarrassed. But maybe Dally was excited too! Johnny almost laughed out loud at that. Dally was acting a little more like Two-Bit lately, but he was still as calm and cool as always. Still, he had caught Dally not once, but twice, looking at the Christmas decorations. The first time, he had been checking out ornaments and was nudging a present with his foot. The second time he had been studying the hand carved manger scene. He had looked so intrigued, but then he caught sight of Johnny out of the corner of his eye and he had just put his hands in his pockets and strolled casually into the kitchen.

Johnny tried hard not to let himself reach out an touch the stocking, other than to trace the letters of his name. But today, like every other morning, his will power eventually gave out. He put down his cocoa and felt the stocking with both hands. It was different from yesterday! There was something new inside! But as much as he wanted to know, he would never allow himself the luxury of looking inside.

Then he made his way over to the Nativity scene where he said a silent prayer of thanks. This was the most important part of his morning. He had started this long before his routine had taken shape. In fact, he had started it the day he and Wendy had set it up, shortly after Thanksgiving. He had found when he started doing this, he began to feel an inner peace replacing much of the turmoil he had been feeling over the events of the past few months. He found himself focusing on the wonderful new family he lived with, the food had had to eat, the clothes he had to wear and all the friends he'd had growing up in Tulsa.

Finally he went over to the advent calender. The advent calender was a large wooden house that Tom had made and hand painted. The house had twenty four windows and tweny four sets of shutters that had to be opened one day at a time, starting on the first of December. On Christmas Day he would get to open the door. Inside each window was a little treat that Wendy had left for him. So far, he had collected a tiny model car, movie tickets, some glass animals, a silver dollar and several pieces of chocolate.

He loved the advent calendar. He looked forward to it everyday. He put down his hot cocoa and knelt down in front of the wooden house. With brewing excitement, he opened up the shutters of the little window. Inside was a folded piece of paper. What would it be? A little note from Wendy? More movie tickets? He pulled it out and opened it carefully. He was surprised to see Dally's handwriting on it.

_Hey, kid! I hope you don't mind, but I'm giving you your Christmas present a little early. I couldn't wait anymore. I think you'll really like it. Wendy told me how much you love this calendar thing, so I'm glad I was able to fit it inside one of the windows.  
Your buddy,  
Dally_

Johnny was so surprised that he almost didn't process the idea that there was something else in the window. But as he regained his senses, he looked in the window again. Inside was a small torn piece of paper. He pulled it out and looked at it, confused. It looked like a ticket of some sort. A used ticket. Johnny laughed. It actually looked like Dally's used train ticket. What was this supposed to mean?

There was a scratch at the back door. Johnny got up to let Coal in. Coal trotted into the kitchen and promptly shook off the snowflakes that had fallen on his back. Then he froze. Johnny watched as his ears perked up and he tilted his head in the direction of the front entry hall. He let out a half-woof, Coal talk for "someone's here".

Sure enough, a few seconds later the front door opened.

"Johnny?" Dally's voice called.

Johnny frowned and headed towards the door. What was Dally doing up so early and why had he been outside?

"Dal?" he answered coming down the hall. "What are you doing?"

Dally looked expectantly at Johnny.

Johnny just looked blankly at him.

Dally shoulders sagged and he rolled his eyes. "Didn't you do the calendar yet?"

"Oh! Yeah, what was this all about?" Johnny said holding the ticket up.

Dally stared at him, incredulous. Then he smacked Johnny's head with a snowy mitten. "Didn't you read it?" he yelled.

"Ow! Yeah, I- what? I- you're giving me your old train ticket? " Johnny laughed sheepishly. He felt a little guilty. Dally was obviously very excited about this gift, whatever it was. Johnny realized that his earlier doubts about Dally being excited about Christmas were totally unfounded. That fact alone was making it impossible for Johnny to think much more about how the torn ticket was supposed to be a present. "What? I don't get it!"

There was a giggle from behind him. Johnny turned to see Wendy and Tom standing on the stairs in their pajamas and bathrobes.

Whatever this was, it was big. He turned back to Dally, still grinning sheepishly.

Dally's eyes narrowed. "Geez, Johhny! _It's not mine_!"

Johnny looked at the ticket again. There were the departure and arrival cities, the departure and arrival times, the train company...

Huh... it looked like the ticket was going _to_ Virginia, but Dally didn't have a ticket then...

And the date. Johnny looked again. December 18 was still readable just before the tear. This ticket had only just been used a few days ago.

He looked up at Dally confused.

Slowly, an idea came him. Was it possible?

Dally, seeing the dawning realization starting to appear in Johnny's eyes, grinned from ear to ear. His excitement returned.

Johnny looked suspiciously at Dally for a moment, not quite daring to get his hopes up. Dally looked like he was going to just die if Johnny didn't guess.

Afraid to be wrong, he just stood there looking at Dally, his dark eyes wide with wonder at the possibility of what this could all mean.

He looks just like one of the rabbits in the forest, Dally thought.

"DAMN IT! I can't take it anymore!" Dally shouted, laughing. He flung open the front door.

And there on the steps... was Ponyboy Curtis.

Johnny couldn't get himself to move. It was almost like he couldn't remember how to breathe. He sucked in air and gasped, "Ponyboy?"

Pony bounded through the door and threw his arms around Johnny. "Hey Johnny!"

Johnny couldn't even speak. They were hugging eachother so hard Johnny was sure someone was going to have a cracked rib or two. When they finally let go of eachother, they both had tears in their eyes.

"All right, all right! Turn off the water works, ladies, this wasn't supposed to get all sappy," Dally snorted, trying to act unmoved. That is, until Johnny turned around and hugged him.

"Thank you," Johnny managed through sniffles.

Dally started to protest, but then gave in, hugging him back and messing up his hair. "Merry Christmas, kid," he said, his voice choked with emotion.

Fortunately for Dally, Will had been right outside the door watching the whole scene. He rescued Dally with a snowball right to Johnny's head.

Johnny looked up and glared playfully at Will. Then he shot a glance towards Ponyboy. "C'mon!" he yelled.

And the two of them took off out the door after Will. Dally watched them rolling around in the snow, Coal nipping at their heels.

He rubbed the tears out of his eyes just in time. Wendy came down the stairs, took his face in both of her hands and kissed him right on the forehead.

He stared at her shocked.

She looked him right in the eyes. "Dallas Winston, that was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. You are an angel."

He looked at her for a second, wanting to protest, wanting to maintain his tough-as-nails image that had just been completely ruined. But all he could do was grin while she hugged him. And then laugh.

Dallas Winston, professional angel. That was funny.

Dally straightened as she let him go. "Well," he said as seriously as he could. "if that's what I am, then I guess I'd better go and rescue your brother before he gets killed out there."

Wendy laughed as Dally turned and fled out into the morning, more likely to join the snowball fight than to stop it.

Tom came to the bottom step and put his hands on her shoulders. "They're good kids."

Wendy nodded, drying her tears and smiling as she watched Johnny and Ponyboy try to tackle Dally. He picked one boy up in each arm and spun them untill all three of them were lying in the snow.

"I don't think I've been this excited for Christmas to come since Matt was a little boy," she said.

"Me neither, " Tom agreed. "And it's just getting started..."


	50. Christmas Morning

After the morning snowball fight, Dally saw very little of Johnny and Ponyboy for the rest of the day. He felt a little pang of what he could only describe as mild jealousy, but he understood that Ponyboy and Johnny were best friends and they hadn't seen eachother in months. So he made himself content helping Tom and Will put the finishing touches on the barn.

Johnny and Ponyboy had gone riding. Johnny showed Ponyboy around the property. He even took him into the woods and showed him the cemetery. He told Ponyboy everything. Every last little detail of what had happened to him over the past few months. Everything- he talked about the day that he found Coal, meeting Caroline, Dally's first visit, finding the cemetery, his bad dreams about ghosts. He told him all about that horrible day when his parents came back and about the barn burning down and how they were sure that Robert had started the fire. He talked about rescuing the kittens and how he had almost drown and Dally had been shot. He told him how scared everyone had been. How he had cried.. how _Dally_ had cried.

Ponyboy didn't believe him at that point.

"Dally? No way. Dally ain't scared of anything. Nothing could make him cry!"

"He ain't like that, Ponyboy.," Johnny said shaking his head. "He ain't as cold and mean as he'd like you to think he is."

"I don't know..."

Johnny shrugged. "I know what I saw. And don't go telling him I told you all this. He'd probably kill me."

Ponyboy shook his head. "Only after he killed me."

The next couple days Ponyboy and Johnny spent riding, playing around outside with all the animals and watching movies in the evenings in front of the fireplace.

On Christmas Eve they all got ready to go to the evening church service. Ponyboy felt bad that he hadn't brought any nice clothes, but Wendy just smiled at him.

"You look just fine, Ponyboy. You don't need to worry about what you're wearing."

"If you want, you can borrow a shirt and tie... We wear about the same size," Johnny offered.

Ponyboy brightened. Johnny took him upstairs and gave him the clothes. When they walked out of Johnny's room they nearly bumped into Dally, who was dressed head to toe like any one of the richest socs back in Tulsa. Ponyboy and Johnny just stared.

"What?" Dally growled at them.

"You... you're going? To... church?" Johnny asked.

"Yeah! What's it to you?" Dally asked, daring Johnny to make a comment.

Johnny just shook his head, still staring wide eyed. "N..nothing." he smiled a little... not a humorous smile, but one that clearly showed he was really happy that Dally was coming along.

"I'm... going for Wendy," Dally said.

Wendy was singing in the choir that night and she'd been very excited.

But Johnny wasn't sure if Dally really was going just for Wendy or not.

As the boys made their way down the stairs one by one, Wendy turned to see if they were ready to go. She gasped when she saw Dally and her eyes shone. But she said nothing, knowing that Dally would not appreciate attention being drawn to him.

Dally and Grandma Cade exchanged a brief glance, one whose meaning eluded Johnny, but he knew it meant something. It looked almost like an expression of acceptance on Dally's face, as though Grandma Cade had won some kind of argument with Dally or something.

There was not an empty seat to be had inside the quaint old country church. The choir sang, filling the room with beautiful sound. At the end of the concert, all the lights were turned off and everyone was given a candle to hold. Wendy stepped out of the choir and lead the group in "Silent Night" and Dally was sure that it was the most beautiful thing he had ever heard. He was surprised by the fact that he was so moved, but he couldn't deny that since coming here, something in him had changed. He was constantly drawn back to the memory of lying in the sidewalk in the rain... how lost, alone and hopeless he had felt and how he had just completely given up. And how different he felt now. Something was different.

"Your aunt sure can sing," he whispered to Johnny.

Ponyboy nodded in agreement.

Johnny was watching the singers leave the stage, his eyes wide with amazement. "Yeah, she sure can!"

None of the boys noticed that Will had disappeared. And it was Christmas Eve. They had other things on their minds.

When they got home, Wendy suggested that everyone go to bed, but Dally knew that trying to get Johnny and Ponyboy to fall asleep on Christmas Eve was like asking the sun not to come up in the morning. But he had to admit, he had never been excited about Christmas until today. The feeling was incredible! He didn't know if _he_ could sleep! But he did, knowing that his sleep would be short lived.

_Christmas morning 5:23 a.m. _

Giggling. Giggling and snickering and whispering. That was what Dally woke up to on Christmas morning. It was still dark outside, but there was a lamp on in the corner of the room and when he opened his eyes, he saw Johnny kneeling on the foot of his bed with a pillow raised high over his head, poised to strike. He caught sight of Ponyboy out of the corner of his eye, standing a safe distance away, not used to this other side of Johnny and probably afraid for his life. Dally sprang up, blocking Johnny's pillow, flipping him over and pinning him to the mattress. Johnny laughed and kicked at him uselessly.

"C'mon, Pony, help!"

Ponyboy just stood nervously off to the side of the bed. "No way, man. You got yourself into this."

"What do you want?" Dally demanded in convincing mock anger, pretending to have no idea why they were in his room at 5:30 in the morning, when in actuality, he had expected this. He had spent the night at the Curtis house on Christmas Eve once, back when Mr. and Mrs. Curtis had been around. Mrs. Curtis had warned him that the boys got up early, but she hadn't said how early.

Dally was surprised that today he'd actually gotten to sleep in. The Curtis boys had a habit of rising by about 4:30 on Christmas morning. He figured that Johnny and Pony had probably been up since then, if they'd even slept at all.

Coal barked and nipped at the edge of the bed.

"It's Christmas!" Johnny yelled through the pillow that Dally was smothering him with.

"It's what? I can't hear you."

"It's Christmas!" Johnny screamed again.

"WHAT?"

Dally felt Johnny suck in a big breath of air, what little he could through the pillow, preparing to make sure Dally heard him this time. Just as he started to repeat himeself, Dally removed the pillow.

"IT'S CHRISTMAS!" Johnny sreamed at the top of his lungs, only this time, there was no pillow blocking his voice.

Dally grinned as Johnny covered his mouth.

"Oh," Dally said, as though suddenly realizing the obvious. "Is that what this is all about? For crying out loud, Johnny! You'd think it was Christmas or something. I'm going back to bed." Dally climbed off of him and layed down.

Dally ignored him as Johnny whacked him with a pillow. "No! C'mon, Dal! Get up! Pony, c'mon! Why aren't you helping!" Johnny looked over at Ponyboy who was almost cowering near the doorway.

Johnny shook his head in mild annoyance, realizing that getting Dally downstairs was going to be a one man job. He ripped the covers off the bed and grabbed Dally's ankles.

Ponyboy watched in awe-stricken horror. The older greaser would surely break Johnny's neck for this. Was this really quiet, frightened Johnny?

But then Pony started to wonder... was this also the same Dallas Winston from back home, who at this very moment was being dragged out of his bed by his ankles by someone much smaller and younger as he clung helplessly to the fitted sheet? And he was _laughing!_ He was trying to pretend he wasn't, but he was!

"Don't just stand there like some sissy, help me!" Johnny said so demandingly that Pony finally picked his jaw up off the floor and grabbed an ankle. It didn't appear that Johnny was in any danger of being killed, so maybe he would be all right too.

Together, they pulled Dally off the bed and he fell to the floor with a thud and a loud "OW!"

Oh, help us, God. We're dead, Pony thought. But Dally made no indication that he was bothered at all by what had just happened.

"Now, are you getting up?" Johnny asked, his arms folded.

Pony's heart was ready to pound out of his chest. They may just as well have gone out to the woods, found a cave and pulled out a hibernating bear by it's ears.

"Well?" Johnny asked more loudly.

Coal barked and lunged at Dally.

Dally grabbed the blanket off the floor, covered himself up and made a loud snoring sound through muffled laughter.

Johnny grinned and tried to sound mad, but he was laughing too. "All right, I guess we'll have to do this the hard way."

Coal snarled and grabbed at the blankets as Johnny picked up Dally's leg and looked expectantly at Ponyboy. Pony just looked at him with genuine worry.

"_Come on_! We're gonna miss Christmas!" Johnny said franticly.

It was getting late. It was almost quarter to 6! Ponyboy cautiously picked up Dally's other leg.

The two boys dragged him out of the room and into the hallway. All the way, Coal followed them nipping and biting at Dally's head. It had been fairly easy dragging the older greaser along the hardwood floors until they reached the carpet runner in the hall. Then the dragging got a little more difficult.

"This rug is making it harder!" Pony laughed a little, getting into the game.

"Yeah, but it'll hurt less when we drag him down the stairs!" Johnny quipped.

At the comment, Dally suddenly twisted out of their grasp and got up.

"Run!" Johnny yelled to Pony.

Pony's entire body turned to ice as a wave of panic swept through him. He knew this was a bad idea! He followed down the stairs close at Johnny's heels. He knew Dally was right behind him and he knew that this was going to be his last Christmas. What had he done?

At the bottom step, Johnny tripped and fell and went skidding across the floor on his side. Dally grabbed at Pony and both of then tumbled the rest of the way down the stairs, landing just a few feet from Johnny.

And there was Wendy in her robe, putting out coffee and Tom lighting the fire as though nothing was going on.

"Oh! I thought I heard you boys getting up! It's about time." Wendy said.

Pony just stared. And for a second, something in him hurt. And it wasn't from the fall down the stairs. At that moment, Wendy reminded him so much of his own mother.

He was startled out of his memory by Johnny asking, "Can we start? Can we start now?"

Wendy went over to him and hugged him. "No! Not yet! We have to wait for Will. He's bringing over more presents!"

"More presents?" Dally asked in disbelief. Presents were already spilling out from all around the tree, stacked up on all sides and piled up in front. Dally had a sneaking suspicion that there were even presents hidden all over the livingroom. This was just overwhelming.

Suddenly the front door opened and Will came bounding in. "You didn't start without me, did you?"

"Almost!" Johnny said eagerly. Then he looked at Wendy. "Where's Matt? Do we have to wait for him too?"

Wendy laughed. "No, Johnny. He's not coming over until later. He's bringing Linda. They're at her parents house right now."

Will grabbed him in a choke hold and messed up his hair. "You're pretty excited, squirt! Too bad all you're getting is a big ol' lump of coal!" He picked Coal up off the floor and handed him to Johnny. Coal squirmed and growled playfully.

"All right, settle down." Wendy finally stepped in.

"Hey," Johnny looked at Will in mock annoyance. "I thought you were bringing more presents!"

Will grinned mischeviously and glanced at Wendy.

"Did you bring presents, Will?"

"Yes. Did you open the door?" he asked looking at Johnny.

Johnny looked quizzically at him. "Huh?"

"The door! On the calendar!"

Realization dawned on Johnny. "Oh, yeah! Today we get to open the door! Ponyboy, you wanna do it?"

Ponyboy grinned as the two boys headed over to the advent calendar. "We can do it together!"

Ponyboy had been enjoying the calendar as much as Johnny had. Will watched with building excitement as the boys knelt down in front of the house.

Dally glanced at Will. There was something from him in there. Something pretty exciting from the looks of it.

"Ok, ready?" Johnny asked reaching for the door.

Just then the phone rang.

"Oh, wait, boys! Let me get that and then you can open it." She dashed off to the kitchen. After a moment, she called, "Ponyboy, it's your brothers! They want to wish you a Merry Christmas."

Dally laughed as both boys went tearing off to the kitchen, eager to say hello to the gang.

"Hey Pony!" Soda said.

"Hey!"

"We miss you, kid. Are you having fun?" Soda sounded so sad. Ponyboy felt terrible.

"Uh... yeah, but I really miss you too."

"C'mon, Darry, I ain't done talkin' to him-"

"Ponyboy?"

"Hey Darry," Pony laughed.

"We really miss you. But we want you to have a good time all right?"

"Yeah, I know."

They talked for a minute and then Johnny got on the phone for a little while, then Dally and then Ponyboy again.

When they finally hung up, Ponyboy looked a little teary.

Johnny threw his arm across Pony's shoulders. "C'mon, let's go open up some presents. Then we'll call them back and talk some more!" Johnny said.

"Can we?"

"Of course!" Wendy said, overhearing. "Ponyboy, you can talk to your family anytime you need to all right?" she put her hands on his shoulders.

Ponyboy nodded and followed Johnny back into the living room.

The two of them knelt down in front of the advent calendar again. Johnny pulled the little door open and Ponyboy reached inside.

He pulled out a small brown paper bag.

"What's in it?" Johnny asked excitedly.

Ponyboy laughed a little, looking somewhat uncertain at the contents of the bag. He handed it to Johnny.

Dally watched with interest. He glanced at Will again who looked ready to burst with excitement. An idea dawned on him, but it couldn't be... could it?

Johnny looked in the bag and Dally knew from his face. He looked like he was going to cry. Then he looked Will in disbelief, shaking his head. "There's NO way..." he said. And Dally could see he was shaking.

"Johnny, what the matter?" Ponyboy asked nervously.

Then he looked over at Dally.

Dally raised his eyebrows at him in silent question.

Johnny nodded. "It's... it's train tickets-" Johnny could barely get the words out. "Used ones. F..four or them."

Ponyboy was still confused, but everything was made perfectly clear when the front door opened.

"Merry Christmas," said Will.

For a moment, no one spoke. There was not a sound in the room, except the radio playing Elvis's Blue Christmas in the background.

And then Ponyboy let out a muffled cry, got up and threw his arms around Soda and Darry who had just come running across the yard from Will's house.

Johnny sat there stunned. Too stunned to move or speak. He just stared in complete disbelief, tears running down his face. Darry, Soda, Two-bit and Steve were standing in the foyer, looking at him almost nervous. kind of the same way Dally had looked at him the day he had come to visit. Like they weren't sure if it was their old Johnny they were looking at. Like they weren't sure if he'd be glad to see them or not.

It was Two-bit who spoke first. "Hey, Johnnycake," he said softly. "We missed you , kid."

As Two-Bit stepped forward, Johnny suddenly found the strenght to be able to move his legs. He ran towards Two-Bit and hugged him.

Soda touched Johnny's arm and he let Two-Bit go and hugged Soda.

Two-Bit was bawling too by this time.

"I...I can't believe.. you're here.." Johnny whispered through smothered sobs on Soda's shoulder. "I miss you guys so much.. I can't believe you're here!"

"We miss you too, baby. We miss you too." Soda said tearfully, squeezing him tightly.

Darry pulled them both into a bear hug at the same time.

Dally was grinning and shaking his head. "How..What are you guys doing here?" he asked shaking Steve's hand and slapping him on the back.

"You can blame Will for this one," Darry said.

But only Johnny heard him over all the commotion.

Will was standing off to the side of the room just watching the whole scene, looking slightly nervous, hoping his gift had gone over well.

Johnny turned to him and walked over to were he was standing.

Will shifted uncomfortably, wanting nothing more in the world than to make that kid happy. Right now he couldn't read the look on Johnny's face. His eyes were tear stained and he just looked overwhelmed.

Johnny just looked at him for a minute and said nothing.

"I... I just thought.. you would want to be with your family... for Christmas." Will said quietly.

Johnny tried to smile through tears. His brown eyes shone with a deep gratitude... and a little bit of guilt. He thought sure Will was going to buy him some big expensive gift to try to make up for everything that had happened. Johnny had decided that there was nothing he could really do to make up for it and that was that. But now... Will had darn near pulled off a miricle. He done this not just for Johnny, but Dally and Ponyboy too. There was only one thing Johnny could say to him now. "Thanks, Dad."

Will drew in his breath and looked at Johnny. Johnny ran to him and hugged him.

Will felt like his heart would burst. His eyes filled up with tears as he put his arms around his son. He closed his eyes and soaked in the moment.

"Johnny!" someone called out from across the room. And Will had to let go as Johnny bounded across the livingroom, his dog following at his heels, back into his circle of friends.

Will sank into a chair, watching Johnny with awe. "He called me... Dad..." Will whispered.

"Will Cade," Wendy said coming over to her brother. "You make me believe there really is a Santa Claus."

"Naa. Not this time. This is bigger than Santa Claus," Will said shaking his head. " This is the Grace of God."

(A/N- chapter inspired by Remember When it Rained by Josh Groban and This Christmas Time by Lonestar- I don't dare print lyrics anymore with the new rules, sorry! About two more chapters left!)


	51. Christmas Day

Johnny and Ponyboy were so overwhlemed with the arival of the rest of the gang that they completely forgot about all the presents under the tree.

"When did you guys get here?" Dally asked.

"LATE last night," Darry answered. "We spent the night, what little was left of it, over at Will's house."

"We were really worried we weren't going to get here in time!" Soda said, still hugging Johnny. Then, looking back at him he grinned and said, "You cut your hair!

Johnny cringed and looked away sheepishly.

"Hey, yeah!" Two-Bit said loudly. "Will you look at that! Why, he looks like he stepped out of a barber shop on the West Side, don't he?"

Steve laughed and grabbed Johnny around the shoulders, messing up his hair. "He sure does," Steve agreed.

"You aught to see all his fancy new clothes!" Dally added.

"Cut it out, y'all!" Johnny said grinning.

The boys all talked and laughed with eachother for a few minutes. Johnny eased his way out of the group for a moment with some difficulty, and headed over to Will again.

"How did you do this?" he asked, distracted for a moment as he fended off an attempted tackle by Two-Bit.

Will just shrugged. "Just bought a few tickets and made a few phone calls."

"No," Johnny said shaking his head and focusing his full attention on Will now. "How? How could you get them all here at the same time? Darry's got work, Soda and Steve have the gas station-"

Darry filled in. "I had some vacation time saved up. Soda and Steve were tricky... I think _someone_," he glanced knowingly at Will who immediately looked at the ceiling. "may have sent the manager at the DX a nice little Christmas bonus to let both of them have the time off."

"The manager's working over Christmas?" Johnny asked in awe.

"No, he closed the station for Christmas, but he's gonna work the first few days after!" Steve said excitedly. "I'm goin' back a couple days earlier than everybody else, though. The boss agreed to this as long as one of us was back by the evening of the 28th and I figure Soda needs to be the one to stay. But you're gonna owe me big time, buddy!" Steve said as he gave Soda a playful slap on the head.

"And Two-Bit? What about your mom and your sister?" Johnny asked.

Two-Bit made a face. "They're visiting relatives in Kansas. Ones I don't like."

Johnny grinned.

Wendy came up to them then. She put a hand on Johnny's arm. "There's an awful lot of presents under that tree that are not going to open themselves!"

"Wow..."Johnny said, almost weakly. "I actually forgot."

Wendy laughed. "All right everyone, find a place to sit! This could take a while!"

Everyone made themselves comfortable. They sat on the sofas, in the chairs, on the floor. The livingroom was filled to capacity with the seven greasers, Wendy, Will, Tom, Grandma Cade and Coal.

Johnny looked around. He couldn't believe that all his friends were sitting around right next to him. He couldn't remember a time when he'd been happier.

Dally looked over at him and noticed his expression. He grinned and ruffled Johnny's hair.

But as Wendy handed Johnny the first gift, Johnny's face fell.

"What's the matter?" Wendy asked.

Johnny looked up at her. "I... mailed everyone's gifts to Tulsa!"

"Oh, no," Dally said, looking suddenly disappointed. "So did I! All but Pony's."

There was a silence in the room and then Tom started laughing. And then everyone else.

"No you didn't," Tom said.

Johnny and Dally looked at him a little confused at first, and then realization dawned on Dally. "You knew about all this, didn't you?"

"Yep."

"Even Ponyboy?" Johnny asked.

"Well, especially about Ponyboy!" Dally interjected. "I didn't want you mailing _his_ gifts to Tulsa!"

"All the gifts that the two of you gave me to take to the post office went right under the tree," Tom said.

"Right under your noses," Grandma Cade added. "That's the best place to hide something from men."

Dally's jaw dropped in offense and Two-Bit rolled over laughing.

"Hey!" Tom said.

Wendy shook her head. "She's right, Tom. It's the truth."

There was a burst of playful arguing that went on for a minute until Dally let out a loud whistle.

"Look people," he said in his non-challant-Dallas-Winston way. "We could argue about this all morning, but if we don't let Johnnycake open one of these presents, I think he might lose his mind."

Everyone looked over at Johnny and laughed. He had a big, brightly wrapped package in his lap and his hand was poised and ready to rip it open as soon as anyone told him it was ok.

Johnny grinned sheepishly.

"Yes! For heaven's sake, let's start!" Wendy seemed almost as excited as Johnny.

It took hours for the mountain of gifts to be passed out and unwrapped.

Dally couldn't believe he was experiencing this. This is what it feels like, he thought. This is what it feels like to be a Soc... No, he corrected himself. The Cade/Gates family definitely didn't have that kind of money. It wasn't like they were all getting corvettes or anything, but this has to be pretty close.

Just as Dally was thinking that, he heard Steve yell out, "COOL! A Corvette!" as he lifted a model car out of the box on his lap.

Dally shook his head.

There were toys and clothes and games and lots of happy faces. Dally's favorite gift however was the painting that Johnny made for him of the New York City skyline.

He was glad there was a lot of commotion from all over the room and no one but Johnny was paying any attention to him opening it. It made him a bit emotional. He wasn't sure if it was the image of New York or the fact that Johnny had made it for him, but it took some effort not to get all sappy.

"You did this?" Dally asked staring in amazement at the painting.

Johnny nodded shyly.

"_You_ did this?" Dally asked again.

Johnny laughed. "Yeah, I did it. Are you that surprised?" he asked trying to sound offended.

Dally looked at him. "Yes!"

Johnny scowled playfully.

"First of all," Dally said, still shaking his head in disbelief. "let's just pretend that all along I knew you could paint- which I didn't. Just forget about that. What I want to know is _when_ did you have time to do this? And how did you know what it looks like?"

"Is it good? Is that what it looks like?" Johnny asked beaming.

"Yeah," Dally said somewhat wistfully. "That's just what it looks like. Right after the sun's gone down."

"I found a picture of it in a magazine. I started it in school and then I worked on it when..." Johnny looked away from him briefly. "Well, you know how I was spending all that time in my room after..." Johnny trailed off.

Dally nodded.

"It kinda... kept my mind off things," he said, pulling at a loose thread on the arm of the sofa.

"Oh," Dally said simply, deciding not to make any further comments. Deciding not to mention how scared he'd been that Johnny was suicidal during that time. Deciding not to mention that it would have been nice to know that instead of thinking of ways to kill himself, Johnny had actually been _painting_.

"I got an 'A+' on it!" Johnny added.

"I'll bet you did," Dally just looked at him and shook his head. "You're somethin' else, you know that, kid?"

Johnny grinned proudly as Dally threw the wadded up wrapping paper at him.

"Thanks," Dally said as Two-Bit came bounding across the room to see what Dally was holding.

There was a momentary lapse in present-opening as everyone stopped to marvel over Johnny's work.

Dally grinned as he watched Johnny turn several shades of red. He was not used to being the center of attention.

Just about the time all the gifts were opened, Matt and Linda showed up. with more exciting news. Linda was wearing an engagement ring.

And that was the first time all morning that Wendy stopped fussing over the boys.

Two-Bit frowned. "I thought she was gonna play this game with us!" he almost whined, pointing to a new game that he'd opened up a few minutes earlier. He'd known Wendy for all of four hours and decided he really liked her. All morning long she'd showered them all with mothering and Two-Bit had been hooked. The snacks, the hugging, the attention... he felt like a spoiled kid and he was enjoying every second.

Dally smacked him on the head. "Leave her alone! Let her have some time with them- she'll be back here after a while waiting on you hand and foot again so don't get all worked up!"

Two-Bit scowled at him and went over to stir up trouble with Grandma Cade. He liked how easy it was to involve her in a lively debate about anything.

They all enjoyed the big dinner that Wendy had prepared, but none of them except for Darry could stay in their seats for very long. They all wanted to get back to the livingroom to sift through all their new toys. They didn't even want dessert. At least not right away.

Dally, Will, Ponyboy, Johnny and Two-Bit got out one of the games. and Steve and Soda worked on a model car. Grandma Cade took her coffee into the livingroom to watch them all.

Darry helped clear the table. "I can't thank you enough for this," Darry said to Tom and Wendy.

Wendy shook her head. "You all _deserve_ this." she said taking the plates Darry was holding.

Darry stopped suddenly and gazed into the livingroom, the slightest hint of a sad smile crossed his face as he watched what was going on.

Two-Bit was telling a story and the boys were all laughing their heads off. Johnny and Dally were laughing so hard they could barely breathe. Johnny was sprawled out on the floor holding his stomach.

"What's wrong, Darry?" Wendy asked, coming to stand beside him.

"Nothing," Darry said not taking his eyes off the boys. "I've just... I've never seen them laugh like that before. Neither one of them. I've never seen them... _act_ the way they're acting!" He looked at Wendy with amazement. His arms folded. "Johnny's just so happy. And so is Dally!" he looked back at the boys. "I think Dally's the one I'm more shocked about. He's so... I don't even know what to call it! Look at him!"

By this time, Two-Bit was finished with his story and Dally was helping Ponyboy and Johnny put together a couple of wooden glider planes they had gotten as gifts. He was patiently explaining some directions to them that they had misread. Every once in a while he would playfully balance a piece of the plane on one of their heads or stick a bow on one of their shirts while they were trying to put things together.

Wendy smiled and looked over Darry's shoulder. "He just looks like a normal, well adjusted boy enjoying his Christmas presents to me," she said with a shrug.

"That's just it!" Darry said. "The last words I'd ever use to describe Dallas Winston would be 'normal' and 'well-adjusted'. But look at him! He's playing! He's completely let his guard down! He just doesn't _do_ that. I mean, the rest of them, you can't get them to stop playing around even if they aren't sitting in a pile of toys. I think Two-Bit and Soda will be like this till they're in their 80's. But Dally- " He turned then and looked at Wendy with deep gratitude in his eyes. "I'm not sure you can really understand what you've done...what this means. I don't know how else to say it, but you gave them their lives back!"

Wendy's eyes welled up with tears and she hugged Darry. "I only wish I could have done it sooner."

Darry smiled at her. "But then we wouldn't have had the time that we had with them. It's gonna be tough to let them go, but it'll be a lot easier seeing how happy they are."

Later that evening, the family and some of the boys were outside playing around with Tom's new telescope. Dally and Darry had stayed inside, hoping to straighten up the livingroom that the gang had completely trashed earlier.

Dally was wandering quietly through the room, looking at the mess of papers and the two youngest boys sleeping amoungst the remnants of Christmas morning. Ponyboy and Johnny were sprawled out on the floor next to the fireplace like two lazy cats. The TV was still on, playing some Christmas movie that they had been trying to watch. Ponyboy's face was half covered with a piece of wrapping paper. Dally smiled in amusement as he pulled a piece of tinsel out of Johnny's hair.

A song played softly from the television as Dally pulled a blanket off the back of the couch and one off the chair.

_Have yourself a merry little Christmas  
Let your heart be light  
From now on our toubles will be out of sight_.

Carefully, Dally draped one blanket over Ponyboy and the other one over Johnny.

_Have yourself a merry little Christmas  
Make the yuletide gay  
From now on our troubles will be miles away._

He walked back out to the kitchen. Darry was standing in the doorway, surveying the mess in the livingroom and shaking his head. The two of them stood there quietly for a moment. Beyond the livingroom where Johnny and Ponyboy lay sleeping, they could see through the picture window to the Carriage House where the rest of the gang was outside helping Will knock icicles off the edge of the roof. Tom and Wendy were looking at the moon through the telescope. Matt and Linda were standing nearby, oblivious to the rest of the world.

_Here we are as in olden days  
Happy golden days of yore.  
Faithful friends who are dear to us  
Gather near to us once more. _

Darry chuckled. "Those two are wiped out!" he said looking at Ponyboy and Johnny.

"Yeah."

"That deal you made with Ponyboy really got him back on track- telling him you'd buy him a train ticket if he got his grades back up? That really worked, man. That kid studied every night."

"Yeah, well, I knew he really wanted to see Johnny. And Johnny really missed him."

"Johnny... Man, I just can't get over it," Darry said still looking out into the livingroom and shaking his head.

"He's a different kid," Dally agreed, knowing full well what Darry was talking about.

"I've never seen him so happy. He's... he's so full of life!" Darry said. Then he turned and faced Dally. "And you-"

"What about me?" Dally said, trying to sound threatening, but just sounding tired instead.

Darry grinned. "You're different, too."

"Am not."

Darry shook his head and grinned a little, his eyes twinkling, but looking just a little sad at the same time. "You're not coming home, are you?"

Dally looked at him like he was nuts. "Yeah, I'm coming home! What makes you say a stupid thing like that?"

Now it was Darry's turn to give the 'are you crazy' look. "Why, Dallas? Why would you come back?"

"Well- I... Because!" Suddenly he found it a little easier to muster up some anger. "What am I supposed to do, just get up tomorrow morning and say, 'huh, I kind of like it here, I think I'll just make this my new home! Hope you guys don't mind!'?"

"You don't think they'd let you stay?"

"I don't need charity! I only bought Ponyboy a one way ticket. I'm driving him home and we'll be back on New Year's Eve, just like I said."

"What does Johnny think?"

Dally looked at the floor. "I don't know."

"What! You haven't told him? Dally, what are you planning to do? Just get up on Friday and say 'see ya later'?"

"No! He know's I ain't stayin' here! I just haven't said when I'm leaving. I'm gonna tell him! Just not now... not today. He's not gonna care anyway. Look around Darry! He's got it made here! He's gonna be fine."

"Dallas. You know just as well as I do that he's going to be devastated that you're leaving! I can't believe you didn't tell him!"

"Well, I didn't! And he's just going to have to deal with it, because I don't belong here." Dally growled. He put down the wrapping paper that he'd picked up and stormed outside.

Darry sighed, shaking his head. He leaned up against the doorway and looked back into the livingroom. To his dismay, he noticed that Johnny was wide awake. And looking rather unhappy.

Darry went in and sat down on the couch. "Come here, buddy," Darry said patting the empty couch cushion next to him.

"I _didn't _know he was leaving. And I do care." Johnny said sadly, sitting down beside Darry. "Why does he think he doesn't belong here?"

"Oh, because he's an idiot." Darry said, with more than a little bit of annoyance seeping into his voice. He put his arm around Johnny reassuringly.

"I think I'm the idiot. I should have known. He'd been here so long, I really thought he was just going to stay!"

"There's no good reason for him _not_ to stay. Maybe he'll take a walk, cool off and realize that."

"But he's so stubborn..."

"Yeah, well, don't you worry. It's Christmas. Remember the Grinch movie? You watched that, right? Last weekend?"

Johnny nodded.

"Who did that remind you of?"

Johnny tried to stiffle a laugh.

"Uh huh... That's right, and even the Grinch turned around on Christmas. Don't worry, Johnny." Darry tried to sound convincing.


	52. One More Surprise

Ok, folks. This is it. All that's left after this chapter is the epilogue (with a little surprise ending). Hope you enjoy! Thanks SO much to all who reviewed.

**I do not own The Outsiders**...

Dally walked quickly, his hands shoved deep in his pockets. He tried at first to avoid the slush puddles, but eventually gave up. The sidewalks were a mess. It had stopped snowing and the temperature had actually gone up a bit. But even though it had finally climbed to just above freezing, it seemed colder than it had in days. He cursed himself for not bringing gloves. Then he almost laughed. In Tulsa, he didn't even own a pair of gloves, and when it got cold he had just toughed it out.

This is why I have to go home, he thought. I'm turning soft.

Darry was right. He was a different person. He had let out a side of himself that he'd never intended for anyone to see, even himself.

He walked down the sidewalk past Matt's clinic. He walked down the street where the church was. He was so intent on just walking that he didn't notice that there was someone on the church steps watching him.

"Merry Christmas, Dallas," said a familiar voice.

Dally turned to see Joe perched comfortably on the top step outside the church.

Dally stopped and stared. He tried to hide his shock at running into this strange person for the third time.

Joe just chuckled. "We keep running into eachother!"

Dally regarded him coolly and pulled a cigarette out of his pocket. He leaned on a lamp post as he lit up.

"So, what is it this time?" Joe asked, running his hand through his graying hair.

Dally looked up at him. "Huh?"

"Well, every time I run into you, you seem to be in the middle of some kind of a... dilemma. And I told you, I'm good at readin' faces."

"Well, you ain't gonna be reading my face anymore, old man. I'm goin' home."

"Home, huh? Had enough of country life?"

"Maybe," Dally said, blowing a smoke ring.

Yep... it's tough out here in the country. It ain't the life for everybody."

"Tough? In the country?" Dally laughed. "Yeah, it's real tough."

"Well, for a city kid it would be. People get too close to them here. It spooks 'em. I've seen it more than once."

"Maybe I'm just bored. Ever think of that?"

"But this isn't how you act when you're bored, is it?"

Dally didn't respond.

"So your friend... Johnny- he must be all right then?"

"How do you now his name?" Dally felt goosebumps on his arm then.There was something so curious about the old man. Dally couldn't put his finger on it. But something about him just kept Dally talking. Something about him sparked Dally's interest just enough to keep him from walking away.

"You told me his name when I pulled you out of the river. Don't you remember?"

Right. He had. There was nothing mysterious about this old man, Dally told himself. He's just a crazy old man. "Huh...yeah, I guess. He's fine, anyway. He don't need me to be here anymore and I don't need his family givin' me charity."

"Maybe it's not charity. Maybe they just care about you."

"That would be pretty stupid of them." Dally laughed and shook his head. "That family don't need me moving in and screwing up their reputation."

"Because of your past?"

"Past, present and future," Dally said almost proudly.

Joe shook his head. "You need to learn to let go of your past. And your pride."

Dally threw down his cigarette then and stared at Joe in dibelief, his curiousity quickly replaced by irritation. "Care about people, trust God, pray, let go of my pride...Who the hell do you think you are? You're just full of advice, ain't you? Where do you get off telling me how to live my life?"

"I'm not telling you. I'm just making suggestions," Joe shrugged. "Sounds like you've been listening, at least."

Dally's anger surged dangerously close to his boiling point.

Joe stood suddenly. "Look, kid. It's Christmas and I've got a lot to do," he said, his gentle green eyes looking off in the distance, as though Dally were the one taking up _his_ time. "There's a basement full of people down in the church there, and they need meals cooked. So I've got to get back."

"You work at the church?" Dally asked, confused. He could see through the basement windows that there was a crowd of people in there. Most were dressed like Joe had been the day Dally had met him on the train. Like they might be homeless people.

"Sometimes," Joe smiled. "But I don't really like to call it work."

Dally shrugged. "Why do you bother helping all these people anyway?"

Joe put his hands in his pockets and smiled down at his shoes. "It's just what I was put here to do. And I told you, Dallas. Caring about life gives meaning to life."

Dally just rolled his eyes.

"Can I give you one more suggestion?" Joe asked, shoving his hands in his pockets.

Dally glared, but didn't protest.

Joe came down the steps and walked up to Dally, stoping only inches from him and looking him straight in the eye. "Sometimes God opens doors and pushes you through," he said. "But sometimes the doors are just unlocked and you have to open them yourself."

Joe paused then for effect and smiled slightly. "And when opportunity knocks, don't be the one to say 'Can someone get that'?" And with that, he gave Dally a grin, trotted back up the steps of the church, and went inside.

"Was that supposed to be funny?" Dally called after him, annoyed. "You're crazy!"

But he was more irritated over the fact that he was begining to think the crazy old man might be right.

Dally stood there a moment. Then he cursed, lit another cigarette and headed back to the house. His feet were wet and his hands were cold. And he knew that Wendy would make him sit in front of the fireplace and drink hot chocolate. He tried to be annoyed at the idea. But he couldn't.

When he got back to the house, Two-Bit was in the livingroom modeling all the clothes that everyone had gotten for Christmas. All at the same time. Everyone was sitting around laughing. Johnny was kind of hanging around in the doorway of the kitchen next to Darry. They both looked distracted and pensive.

"Hey, where you been, Dal?" Two-Bit asked. "You're missing my fashion show!"

Dally shot him a look. He saw Johnny retreat into the kitchen and he followed.

"Did you tell him?" Dally asked accusingly to Darry.

"I overheard," Johnny said in Darry's defense. He sounded sad.

Darry gave Johnny's shoulder a squeeze and headed off to the livingroom.

Dally sighed and sat down on one of the kitchen stools.

"It's ok, Dal. You don't have to stay if you don't want to." Johnny said quietly.

"Johnny... it ain't that I don't want to stay. I just... I don't belong here. you know? It wouldn't be right for me to stay."

"Why not?"

Dally shook his head. "I think these people have been through enough trouble already, don't you?"

Johnny looked pleadingly at him.

"Johnny, c'mon..." Dally pleaded right back.

And Johnny saw his window. Dally hadn't decided for sure yet. He could hear it in his voice. Johnny hurried over and took the stool across from him.

"You can keep the big room," Johnny offered.

Dally looked up at him, amusement in his eyes. "It ain't about the room, kid."

Johnny bit his lips, obviously thinking hard. "I'll make sure Grandma doesn't bug you about goin' to school amymore."

Dally grinned a little. "18... remember?"

Johnny cursed and then covered his mouth, looking nervously towards the livingroom.

Dally stifled a laugh. "Look, kid, like I said, it ain't about all that. I don't want them giving me charity and I don't want to cause them any trouble-"

"You wouldn't be-" but Johnny stopped there. They both knew Dallas Winston was trouble with a capital 'T'. Whether that would change in this environment was really uncertain at this point. Sure, Johnny thought. He's stayed out of trouble for a month, but he'd also been very preoccupied and busy with all that had been going on. Now that things had quieted, would he get bored? Would he go back to his old habits?

Dally was grinning slightly, knowing what Johnny was thinking.

But then Johnny lowered his eyebrows defiantly. "It ain't gonna be like that here, Dal. You'd be real happy here!"

"You don't know that," Dally said.

"Dally," Johnny looked at him desperately. "Look, man, I ain't one to be telling you what to do or anything. But," he fidgeted nervously. "I really think you should ... stay. I mean, come on! Remember what you told me at the beach? About how you wanted to see me safe and happy and surrounded by people that could give me a future? Well maybe I want that for you too. Come on, Dal! This is a great opportunity!"

Opportunity knocking? Dally wondered. He shook his head. "It ain't the same, Johnny. They don't owe me a future. They don't owe me anything. I'm not part of their family."

"Yes you are!" Johnny said and then he got that look. Those big black pleading eyes... that almost hurt look.

Dally had seen that look before- the one that made everyone Johnny's big brother. But "The Look" had never been used _against_ him. It was like a weapon- drawing guilt out of it's opponent like a sword would draw blood.

"Can... can you just think about it? Please?"

Oh, for the love of- Dally sighed and leaned forward onto the table, dropping his head onto his arm. Johnny had never asked him for anything. How could he tell him no? I have to, he thought. He'll just have to deal with it.

"I have one more Christmas present for you," Johnny said changing the subject, satisfied that he'd at least made a chink in Dally's armor and knowing that if he didn't demand an answer, then Dally would be thinking about it.

"What?" Dally looked up tiredly.

"Yeah! And... you can't take this back to Tulsa..." Johnny said defensively. "I got you a cat."

"_What_?" Dally almost burst out laughing.

"Yeah, and I don't think this cat likes riding in cars."

"I could take the train," Dally offered, somewhat jokingly.

"He doesn't like traveling." Johnny said.

"You really got me a cat?"

Johnny nodded.

Dally looked at him a little confused. "Why'd you get me a cat?"

"Oh, Dal, I think you'll like him! I know, I know you're more of a dog person, but this cat REALLY needs a home and I think you'd be able to handle him. You know, bring him around... tame him, kind of."

"_Tame_ him?" Dally stared at Johnny.

"Yeah!" Johnny grabbed his arm. "I wanted to wait to give him to you when things had quieted down. He kind of freaks out if there's a lot of noise. Come on! I'll show him to you."

Dally though seriouosly for a moment about telling Johnny that he heard the bright lights of Tulsa calling to him, but he thought better of it.

Dally followed Johnny back into the livingroom where everyone was settled into a chair or sofa talking and laughing.

"Johnny!" Wendy called. "When are you going to give Dally your other gift?"

"Right now!"

Dally stood nervously beside the Christmas tree as Johnny hurried upstairs. He returned momentarily carrying a small cage covered with a towel.

"Johnny, I don't know about this-" Dally stammered uncomfortably.

"What'd you get him, Johnny?" Steve asked.

"Yeah, what is that?" Soda chimed in.

"I know what it is!" Ponyboy said excitedly

"Did you get him a puppy?" Two-Bit asked hopping up off the couch to see.

"No!" Dally cut in. "It's a cat! It's a _wild cat_!" He didn't even try to hide the concern in his voice.

Darry made a sound from behind his third cup of mulled cider that sounded suspiciously like laughter. Dally shot a glare at him.

Johnny just ignored everyone and opened the door of the cage.

Dally cringed.

There was a collective "Awwww!" from the entire room as Johnny pulled a tiny orange and white kitten out of the cage and handed him to Dally.

Dally rolled his eyes as he took the little animal from Johnny. "This is the cat I'm supposed to tame? You don't look like you need to be tamed," Dally said looking at the kitten.

The kitten, looking as ferocious as he possibly could, stared at Dally with his big blue eyes and hissed.

Everyone laughed.

"That cat is just pissed off at the world!" Two-Bit commented.

"He's a tough little guy, isn't he?" Steve laughed.

"Dally, I think you've met your match!" Darry said.

"Yeahhh..." Dally said nervously. "Well if nothing else, I have the perfect name for him."

"What?" Johnny asked.

"Tim Shepard." Dally said, nodding decicively.

It was the day that Steve left that Dally started feeling miserable. It started out mild for about an hour or so- a headache, a tightness in his muscles. Then by about lunch time, it hit him like a ton of bricks. He crawled into bed at Wendy's insistance, and just laid there for the rest of the day. He barely had the energy to say goodbye to Steve.

He didn't get out of bed the next day, either. Or the day after that.

The boys were having lunch in the kitchen. Everyone was a little concerned about Dally. They'd never seen him this sick before. Of course, back home when he was sick he would just disappear for a few days, so none of them knew if he'd ever been this sick before or not. Johnny looked nervously over his grilled cheese sandwich at Wendy. "Is Dally ok?"

"Dally's going to be fine, sweetheart. He's got the flu."

Darry walked by and ruffled Johnny's hair. "It'll knock him out for a few days and then he'll be his cranky old self."

Johnny looked doubtfully at him and went on eating.

"Well, I guess this means he's not coming home with us then, huh?" Soda asked.

"That's what it _should_ mean," Darry said. "But I'm sure he'll try. Ponyboy, we're gonna have to get you a train ticket today to bring you home. Dally's not going to be in any condition to drive when it's time for us to go."

"You really think he'll try to leave?" Wendy asked Darry in disbelief.

Darry shook his head. "I don't know what's goin' on in that head of his. He seemed dead set on goin' home, but you never know."

"Last time I talked to him he seemed like he was thinking it over," Johnny said hopefully.

Wendy threw down her dish towel and untied her apron. "I'm going to have a talk with him."

Wendy went upstairs and knocked at Dally's door, which was wide open anyway. When she got no response, she walked over to Dally and felt his forehead.

He sighed a little and opened his eyes.

Wendy smiled at him. "How are you feeling?"

"Mmm... lousy..." Dally said weakly.

"You've got yourself a nasty case of the flu, young man," she said sitting down on the edge of his bed. She had brought up a bowl of water and a wet cloth which she laid across his forehead.

Dally closed his eyes.

"That's it...You just need some rest," Wendy said softly. "I just wanted to see how you were doing. Do you need anything?"

"I need... to pack up my stuff..."

"I meant do you need anything to eat or drink. You are not getting out of this bed," Wendy said insistantly.

"...gotta go home..."

Wendy folded her arms and looked sternly at him. "When are you going to get this through your head- you are home!"

She sounded so much like Grandma Cade right then that Dally laughed a little. But he shook his head, unable to utter more than "No,"

Wendy hung her head for a brief instant and then looked at him sadly. "I wish you'd reconsider."

"I can't stay here. You don't know me... who I really am-"

"Well," Wendy said, folding her hands in her lap. "Why don't you tell me 'who you really are'?"

"I'm a hood! A JD, you know," Dally said angrily, but weakly. "I steal cars, I jump people... Hell, I've nearly killed people in New York!"

Wendy was shaking her head as she raised her hand up to stop Dally from continuing. "Do you plan to continue doing these things?"

Dally looked at her, confused.

"That's not 'who you are' Dally. Those are bad choices that you made... some of them very bad... but that's not who you are. And you're wrong. I do know you." Shestraigtened and looked at him, her eyes full of as much determination as her voice. "It's you who doesn't know yourself."

Dally was too weak to protest.

"You know what I see in you? I see a brave, loyal, kind person who- no, don't shake your head at me! I see how you've been kind to this whole family. I've seen you helping Tom and Will and I've watched you with the animals and why, you might not be Johnny's brother by blood, but I know as well as anyone that it doesn't take blood to be a brother. We made a big mistake not getting him out of Tulsa sooner," Wendy said looking down for a moment, shame evident in her voice. "But I thank God that he had you to look out for him while he was there. Johnny just adores you, Dallas. There's a reason for that. He sees it too. You're a kind, good person. And this family wouldn't be whole without you. We all love you. We all want you to stay."

Dally felt a twinge in his chest. He looked away from her.

"No one's ever told you that before, have they?"

Dally still wouldn't look at her.

"Well, it's true," she said simply. "We can't tell you what to do. Maybe you have a good reason for needing to leave. If you do...well, then we'll understand. But I really hope you'll think about what I said."

She took the cloth off his forehead and wet it again in the bowl of water that she'd brought. She wrung it out carefully and laid it across his head again.

"Can you at least promise me one thing?" she asked.

Dally finally looked at her and she saw that his eyes looked somewhat teary. But she wasn't sure if it was because he was sick or not.

"Can you promise me that you'll stay here at least until you feel better?"

Dally paused. "All right," he nodded finally.

Wendy smiled, leaned forward and kissed his forehead. "You get some sleep, all right?"

Dally watched her go. He'd never known what it was like to have a mother... until now. Don't let her in... don't let her... but Dally knew it was too late. It had been too late for a long time.

Dally lay in an uncomfortable sleep. Tim Shepard The Cat had come out from under the bed and curled up on his pillow.

The snow had turned to a cold rain outside but the fire in the fireplace crackled and glowed warmly.

Tim Shepard The Cat let out a low growl as Darry came in quietly and sat down in the chair beside the bed.

Dally flinched slightly as a seemingly cold hand touched his forhead.

"Hey," Darry said as Dally just barely opened his eyes.

"Hey," Dally replied, his voice barely audible.

"You're a mess, aren't ya?" Darry chuckled softly.

"Real funny." Dally uttered weakly.

Tim Shepard The Cat looked at Darry and hissed.

Darry laughed. "Wow," he said looking at the tiny orange kitten with the angry eyes. "I think Santa really stiffed you this year."

"It wasn't Santa. It was Johnny," Dally said, his eyes still closed. "That kid's turning into a real trouble maker."

Darry laughed again. "He's changed, that's for sure. But in a good way." Darry nodded, thinking about Johnny. "Yeah... this was a really good move to let him come out here." He looked sympatheticly at Dally and gently ruffled his hair.

Dally tried to scowl.

"Look, buddy... I just came up here to talk to you about Ponyboy."

"What about him?"

"Well, he doesn't have a train ticket home because you were going to drive him. And obviously, that's not going to happen now."

Dally groaned.

"So we're going to go get him a ticket today because we're all going to have to leave tomorrow...And since you don't need to take Ponyboy home, well...there's no reason for you to leave here now."

Dally groaned even louder. He didn't want to talk about this anymore. He was so conflicted about the whole thing.

But what no one knew was that he had already made up his mind. A big part of him didn't like the decision he'd made, but a little flicker somewhere in his soul knew that this was where he was supposed to be. He was going to stay.

But he couldn't tell Darry. Not with words. He didn't know why. "Yeah, I know. I'm just...gonna stay till I feel better." Dally said. But when he said it, he looked at Darry, speaking more with his eyes than with his voice.

Darry caught the look and smiled slightly and nodded "Yeah, Dal... this is a good place for you to start feeling better. You do that."

Darry stood. "We'll see you soon, buddy." he extended his hand.

"Yeah... hey, take it easy on Ponyboy, all right?" Dally said weakly, reaching out and shaking Darry's hand.

Darry regarded him solemnly. Something tugged at his heart to know that the toughest of their gang cared so much for his little brother. Darry knew then that Dally didn't want to leave the gang. But he had to. This was his window of escape and he had to go. He was glad that Dally had finally come to realize that. Darry knew that the gang was not going to be whole anymore. But Dally and Johnny were safe and they would all find comfort in that.

Darry nodded. "You take good care of Johnnycake... just like you always have."

Dally closed his eyes and was asleep before Darry left the room.

When he woke up again, he was surprised this time to see Johnny asleep next to him, a text book opened across his chest and several pieces of paper spread out on the blankets. Dally had woken up three times over several hours. Not once had he been alone. Something inside him warmed at that thought.

But then he felt a bit of concern... was Johnny sick? He reached over and felt his Johnny's forehead, but he felt fine. Was he having nightmares again? There had been more than one occasion during the whole ordeal with Johnny's parents that Dally had awakened to find Johnny curled up beside him asleep and Coal at the foot of his bed.

He gave Johnny a nudge. "Hey..."

"Mmm?" Johnny opened his eyes sleepily.

"What are you doin'? You ok?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah... I just wanted to talk to you about something so I was waiting for you to wake up. I must've fallen asleep."

"Well, I'm awake."

"Do you feel any better?" Johnny asked sitting up.

"Some..." Dally rubbed his eyes. "What day is it? Are you doing homework? Did you go back to school? Did everybody leave already?"

"No. They're all leaving tomorrow morning. My math teacher's a jerk... he's the only teacher that assigned homework over the break. I had kind of forgotten about it till just now. I was working on it while I was waiting for you to wake up."

There was a long pause a Dally tried grogily to wake himself. He figured he knew what Johnny was going to ask him. Tim Shepard the Cat let out another growl.

"So..." Johnny started nervously. "You're not going to go with them?"

Dally turned back to look at him. Johnny's eyes were full of concern. But they were no longer full of fear, or saddness. Dally thought about all the trouble he'd gone through over the past few weeks... over the past few years. And finally he'd come out on the other side. They both had. Dally thought about going back to Tulsa. He pictured himself driving home and leaving Johnny behind. Whenever he started questioning the decision he'd made, he thought about that.

He waited a moment before saying anything, but he avoided the question. "You shouldn't be in here, you're gonna get sick."

"I don't care. I don't want to have to go back to school anyway."

"I thought you didn't mind school all that much anymore! And what about Caroline? She's gonna be home from her trip soon."

Johnny hesitated. "Well, it's too late now."

There was a long silence. And finally Dally looked back at him. "You worryin' about everybody going home tomorrow?"

"Yeah," Johnny said sadly. "I'm really gonna miss them."

Dally nodded. He looked at the ceiling for a moment then he shook his head and gave Johnny a weak grin. "Me too."

Johnny sat bolt upright, smiling from ear to ear. "You're gonna stay? Aw, Dal that's great! I knew you'd stay!" he said gleefully bouncing up and down.

"Uuhhgg! Stop it!" Dally moaned.

Johnny laughed. "Sorry," he said, his eyes still glowed.

"No sappiness!" Dally warned, pointing his finger at Johnny. "You'll make me sick!"

Johnny just grinned happily.

Tim Shepard The Cat growled.

"Hey," Johnny said a thought occured to him. "You wanna see something funny?"

"Does it involve Two-Bit?" Dally asked rubbing his forehead. "'Cause if it does, no. I don't want to see anything funny."

"No," Johnny said, picking up the kitten from Dally's pillow.

The kitten growled and stiffened.

"Johnny, be careful, man. You're gonna get clawed."

"No, I won't. Watch." Johnny set Tim Shepard The Cat down on his lap and started to pet him carefully. At first, the kitten just stood there, stiff as a board, growling. Then slowly, he began leaning into Johnny's hand, the way cats do when they're being petted. But every once in a while, he'd still let out a ferocious little hiss.

Dally laughed.

"He can't make up his mind!" Johnny said.

"Yeah, but if you stop petting him, he'll probably try to kill you." Dally said.

But Tim Shepard The Cat decided on his own when he'd had enough attention. After a few minutes, he wandered off of Johnny's lap and back to Dally's pillow. All the while glaring at Johnny for touching him.

Johnny watched him, laughing. Then he turned back to Dally. "I'm really glad you're staying, Dal."

Dally closed his eyes. "Me too, kid. Now get outta here so I can get some sleep!" Dally said trying to sound like his gruff old self. But he could tell from Johnny's smile that he had not pulled it off. He watched Johnny trot out of his room, Coal glued to his heels as usual.

The next morning the boys all packed up their things and gathered in the front hallway. Wendy had packed them all lunches and snacks and she was handing them out and checking to make sure each of them had their coats zipped and gloves on. Darry was laughing as he watched her putting a hat on Sodapop.

"We're going to miss you boys! It was so nice having you here," she said handing Two-Bit a brown paper lunch bag.

"It was nice of you to let us stay," Darry said. "We really appreciate it."

She looked at him seriously. "If you ever need a place... ever-"

Darry nodded. "Thanks."

Ponyboy and Johnny were in the livingroom, both looking very sad. Wendy walked over to them and gave Ponyboy a hug and a kiss on the forehead. "So when would you like to come back for a visit?"

Ponyboy smiled a little then.

"How about Easter?" Wendy suggested. "Do you have some time off from school then?"

Both Ponyboy and Johnny's eyes lit up. Easter wasn't too far away. They grinned at eachother.

Wendy laughed. "Easter it is then!" Then she looked back at the guys in the hallway. "These two are the talkative ones of the group, aren't they?"

The boys all laughed.

Dally came down the stairs then, wearing sweatpants, a t-shirt and a bathrobe and looking like he'd been hit by a truck. "Yeah, laugh it up. I can't get that one to shut up anymore, half the time." he said, pointing at Johnny.

"Yeah, right!" Two-Bit said with a laugh, just missing Johnny making a face at Dally.

"I'm serious!" Dally said to Two-Bit, and making a face right back at Johnny. Johnny shook his head and laughed.

Ponyboy hopped off the couch and went up to Dally as the other boys said their goodbyes to Grandma Cade and Tom.

"Thanks for bringing me out here, Dal," he said. He had come to feel a little differently about Dally over the past few months. Like Johnny, Ponyboy had begun to see past the cold, tough exterior. He was beginning to realize that there was a lot more to Dallas Winston than met the eye.

"No sweat, kid. Now listen, you keep those grades up and stay outta trouble, you understand?"

"I will," Ponyboy promised seriously.

"Because I will come back and beat the tar outta you if you dont, got it?"

"Got it."

And then, to Ponyboy's amazement, Dally hugged him and messed up his hair.

"Have a safe trip kid," Dally said, giving him a playful shove back towards the other boys.

Tim Shepard the Cat hissed at them all from the top step.

"Bye, Timmy!" Two-Bit called as he walked out the front door. "Boy howdy. I can't wait to tell ol' Tim that he has a cat named after him."

Johnny and Dally watched them from the livingroom window as Will drove them to the train station.

Dally felt a twinge of saddness, but an even deeper sense that this was all ok.

Tim Shepard the Cat hopped up on the end table where the Nativity scene was set up. His swishing tail knoced over one of the figures. Dally picked it up and studied it. It was an older looking man with graying hair and a slight beard, but he wasn't one of the wisemen and he didn't look like a shepard.

Dally held it out to Johnny who was still looking out the window. "Hey...who's this one supposed to be?"

"Huh? Oh, that's another angel."

"Where are the wings?"

Still looking out the window, Johnny answered. "Grandpa figured God sent some angels here that don't have wings- that way they can just look like regular people."

Dally stared at the figure in his hand. It looked familiar. Very familiar.

Just a coincidence, Dally told himself as he put it carefully back on the table. It seemed to smile at him through it's carefully carved, gentle green eyes.

Dally went back to looking out the window. The car had dirven off now and the two of them just knelt there, leaning on the back of the couch gazing out the window as the rain turned back into snow. Dally wasn't sure why they were still staring out the window or what they were staring at... but he was sure that he definitely was right where he was meant to be.


	53. Epilogue

Ok, this is the final chapter! This story is now ILLUSTRATED as a special treat for all my faithful reviewers! Please check out outsiderfanfiction (all one word) DOT blogspot DOT com for illustrations of this story! Please leave comments so I know people are checking them out. As long as I know people are interested, I'll keep posting drawings and paintings.

I will probably post a summary chapter for this story in a few weeks- wanted to let everyone know so you don't mistake it for an update! This is really the end.

I do not own "So Far Away" by Staind... the song that inspired the other 52 chapters of this "one-shot".

Thank you ALL so much!

**Epilogue...**

Dally took off his work gloves and wiped the sweat off his forhead with the sleeve of his shirt. He closed up the door of the barn and leaned on the split rail fence, looking around at all the signs of spring beginning to take root in the once barren landscape. Little buds on the trees were starting to form on the tips of the branches, and soon the trees would flower. All the grass was turning greener and everything was new again. It was the first time he had noticed spring.

He had just finished working in the barn with the horses. He was heading back to the house for dinner. He felt refreshed, content and alive.

Things are good, he thought.

Today he had worked alone. Johnny had been at school. Tom had taken a trip to a town a few hours away to pick up a horse for boarding. And Will... well, Will was out on a date with a lady friend of his that had apparently had her eye on him for several months.

Will would never really get over Emily, but having Johnny come into his life had finally started the healing process. That's what Wendy felt, anyway. She said Johnny had helped them all start to heal.

Dally had noticed on his walks through the woods that the family gravesite was now being cared for. Leaves were raked, flowers were occasionally lain in front of the stones... Wendy, Will and Grandma Cade were honoring the memories of their loved ones now instead of trying to surpress them. Wendy even talked about Christopher now and then. Will had started to talk about Emily.

So many things had changed.

Grandma Cade had finally won The Church Battle, as Johnny called it. Johnny had watched it go on from the moment that Grandma had met Dally. He'd always wanted to tell her she was wasting her time with it, and The School Battle too, but he never did. Eventually, it became rather clear that Dally and Grandma enjoyed these battles so Johnny just left them alone.

But after the whole mess that happened with Robert and Maria, Johnny hadn't heard a peep out of either one of them about school or church.

So he was very surprised one Sunday, to the point of almost falling down the stairs, to see Dally dressed in his suit, waiting at the door.

"It's about time, Johnny! What took you so long?" Dally had looked crankier than usual.

Johnny's eyes were wide. _Was he going to church_? Johnny didn't realize he was staring until Dally glared at him.

"Shut up and get in the car!" Dally barked.

Johnny blinked. "But I didn't say anything!"

The old Johnny would have cringed and lowered his head. Not any more. Dally had almost grinned, and then stopped himself and lowered his eyebrows instead. "You were thinkin' too loud!" he said as he opened the door and stormed off towards the car.

Grandma Cade came into the livingroom, her shawl wrapped elegantly around her shoulders. A slight smile was visible on her lips, and she held her head high as she passed through the room. She glanced at Johnny who was still standing on the stairwell.

"I haven't heard you guys talk about him going to church for..._ weeks_! How'd you do it?" he asked, his expression still full of disbelief.

Grandma chuckled as she made her way out the front door. "Johnny... I don't think it was me. That took a power far greater than anything I posess."

Dally joined the family on occasional Sundays for church after that day. He went a little more regularly after he decided no one was going to force him go. He never explained to anyone why he'd decided to tag along with them and no one, to his relief, ever asked.

Dally chuckled at the memory. Good old Grandma Cade, he thought.

Grandma Cade had said her goodbyes one early morning a few weeks after the Church Battle Victory, and she swept off to her home in Florida. She said she didn't like drawn out goodbyes and she'd be back in a few months anyway. And with that, she was gone, leaving Johnny and Dally standing gaping mouthed on the front porch holding their bowls of cereal.

Wendy came out on the porch, her arms folded and shaking her head. "She'll be back all right. With about as much warning as she gave that she was leaving. She'll show up one day when the house is a complete disaster tell me how she doesn't know why she ever left in the first place because the place just falls apart without her." She threw up her hands and kept right on talking as she went back inside.

Johnny and Dally watched as the screen door slammed behind her. Both of them knew that Wendy's house was never a "disaster". She kept things just right and always found time to make their lunches, wash their clothes and give them both a kiss goodbye and a hug when they came home every day, which Dally still pretended to find irritating.

Dally looked towards the house. Johnny was sitting on the front porch as he did every evening doing his homework and waiting for Dally to come back to the house for dinner. He was really wrapped up in something tonight. He sat on the top step, hunched over a stack of papers, reading intently.

Johnny had adjusted perfectly to his new life. He had a nice girlfriend, he was doing well in school and he and Will had gotten past whatever resentment Johnny had harbored the first few weeks after learning the truth about his past. And what really helped Johnny settle in was that he had gotten to keep a little piece of Tulsa with him when Dally had decided to stay.

Tim Shepard the Cat, who was now only being refered to as Timmy, ran along the split rail fence next to Dally as Dally began to make his way back to the house. When he ran out of fence, he meowed loudly and Dally leaned over so he could climb up on his shoulders and ride the rest of the way. Even Timmy had changed. He'd stopped hissing at people after a few weeks and had turned into a very nice cat.

But of all the changes and adjustments that had been made, it was Dally who had changed the most. Back in Tulsa, and when he had first come to Virginia, Dally had spent so much time and energy worrying about Johnny that he had completely overlooked the fact that it was_ he_ who was lost. _He_ was the one who was lonely and searching and afraid. And he had become so accustomed to that way of life that when it started to go away, he had a hard time letting go. For a long time after the gang left, there was something eating at him. Something... scaring him. But he could never really put his finger on it.

Sometimes he went so far as to think that if he just went back to Tulsa on his own, then at least he wouldn't be caught by surprise one morning... a morning he was convinced would come when he would wake up in his ratty old room in Buck's Tavern to find that it had all been a dream. Or worse, when the family began to realize that they really didn't want a hoodlum living in their house and they asked him to leave. That scared him a little. But he could handle it if they sent him back to Tulsa. Heck, he thought. That would make things a lot easier. _But why_?

He'd behaved himself for the most part while he had been sick that first week, but he was Dallas Winston for Pete's sake! How long could he keep that up? After he felt better, he had tested their patience a few times... pushed things a little. He'd started out small- swearing here and there, a smoke or two in his room...He found that they were firm with him, but patient. And Wendy... it about killed him to see any kind of disappointment in those damn Cade eyes. That scared him a little too... that he would be a disappointment to them. But it didn't stop his need to test them.

One night, he'd stayed out (purposely) well past when he said he'd be home. He came strolling into the kitchen at a ridiculous hour and found Wendy awake, sitting up at the table. She just looked at him and went off to bed. He had felt awful.

In the morning, he came downstairs early while she was making breakfast.

"Sorry," he mumbled as he sat down at the table.

She looked at him sternly for a moment. "I worry about you. I wish you wouldn't make me worry like that," she said looking at him with those big, sad eyes. Her expression softened after a moment as she handed him a plate of eggs and kissed his forhead. "I love you. Now eat."

Dally didn't say anything, but he could barely get his breakfast down that morning.

The turning point came for him the next day. He was still feeling bad about upsetting Wendy. He'd stayed up all night thinking that maybe it was time to go. Maybe he'd just get in the car and head back to Tulsa. So he'd gotten up very early, and he just sat in the T-Bird, keys in the ignition, staring at the steering wheel until the sun came up.

Johnny and Coal had come bounding outside for their morning walk and caught Dally sitting there. Johnny ran up and hopped into the passenger seat and started talking a mile a minute about all the things he was going to do that day and asking if Dally wanted to come and what he was doing, and on and on. Then he just stopped and turned towards Dally, that look of admiration in his eyes that Dally caught every now and then. "I'm really glad you decided to stay, Dal," he said, then looked down at his shoes. "So's Wendy and Tom. They told me so last night while you were outside."

And then things suddenly became totally clear. The only person Dally had ever cared really deeply about was Johnny and suddenly, that was changing. He was starting to care very deeply about this whole family. He actually... loved them. He could feel his wall crumbling. The facade of tough, emotionless courage that he had built a reputation on was going away and he felt incredibly vulnerable. That was it.

But somehow, as soon as that was made clear to him, it didn't seem as scary anymore. This family loved him right back with all his faults and flaws, regardless of his past. The way Johnny always had. They were glad he was here. They wanted him to stay.

He looked over at Johnny and for once, the look of admiration was written on Dally's face instead. Johnny had always been the gang's pet- the one that needed to be protected, sheltered. But all along, Johnny had been the stronger one, not Dally. Dally knew that if he had been the one who'd had to adjust to all that Johnny had, well... he didn't know what would have happened, but he knew he couldn't have done it. It had taken forever for him just to get used to the fact that when Wendy told him she loved him everyday, she really meant it.

Dally laughed and threw an arm over Johnny's shoulders.

"What's so funny?" Johnny asked.

"Nothing. You. I don't know." Dally shook his head and stared at the steering wheel.

"Me?" Johnny folded his arms and looked at Dally. "Dal, are you feelin' all right? You been actin'... I don't know... weird lately."

Dally looked out the window towards the house. He thought for a moment and took a deep breath. "Yeah," he said and looked at Johnny, grinning. "Yeah, kid. I'm doin' okay."

Johnny wiggled out from under Dally's arm and hopped over the door of the car. Coal barked, excited to start the day.

"I still think you're crazy," Johnny said. "When you're done sitting in your car, I'm going riding... maybe you can try to keep up this time."

Dally cocked an eyebrow in classic Two-Bit fasion, and flashed Johnny one of his 'you're-in-big-trouble' grins. Then he launched himself out of the car and chased Johnny and Coal all the way to the barn.

And after that day, things were different. Dally would always remember that day as the day he grew up. He still had some adjusting to do, but this was his life now and he loved it.

He missed parts of Tulsa. But only a few. Five to be exact. He and Johnny talked to the gang at least two or three times a week. Pony was already planning a visit within the next few weeks.

Yes, he thought again, looking off towards the house. Things are very good.

_This is my life, it's not what it was before,  
all of these feelings I've shared.  
And these are my dreams that I've never lived before.  
Somebody shake me 'cause I  
I must be sleeping._

_Now that we're here, it's so far away  
all the struggle we thought was in vain.  
All the mistakes, one life contained, they all finally start to go away.  
Now that we're here, it's so far away, and i feel like i can face the day.  
I can forgive, and I'm not ashamed  
to be the person that I am today._

_These are my words that I've never said before:  
I think I'm doing okay.  
And this is the smile that I've never shown before.  
Somebody shake me 'cause I  
I must be sleeping._

_I'm so afraid of waking, please don't shake me  
afraid of waking please don't shake me..._

Dally wandered up to the front porch where Johnny was still working on what appeared to be homework.

Tim Shepard the Cat jumped off Dally's shoulders and scurried up a tree when he saw Coal.

Dally surprised Johnny a little when he sat down beside him. He was very preoccupied with something.

"Hey, kid!" Dally said ruffling his hair. He put his elbows on his knees and gazed off into the distance that Johnny seemed so mezmerized by. "Great sunset, huh?" Dally asked.

Johnny turned and looked at him in surprise- almost shocked.

Dally returned his gaze with one of confusion.

And then Johnny's face broke into a grin. His eyes were glowing. "Yeah," he said, nodding, still looking at Dally with a strange, almost sad, but relieved expression. "It is a great sunset."

Dally looked at him perplexed. "What's with you?"

Johnny chuckled and shook his head. "Nothing."

"What's all this, homework?" Dally asked pointing to the stack of papers beside Johnny.

Johnny paused for a moment. "No," he said shaking his head. Johnny picked up the stack and looked at it, before he very hesitantly handed it over to Dally. "I think you should take a look at this."

Dally's brow wrinkled as he took the stack of papers from Johnny. He was awfully hungry, but he thumbed through the stack absently anyhow, not really looking.

"Do I gotta read all this now?"

Johnny laughed. "No. Whenever. After dinner. I'm gonna go wash up. I'm starved."

"Yeah, me too!" Dally agreed. "I'll be in in a minute. I have to get ol' Timmy down from the apple tree again," he said standing up.

Johnny headed into the house and Dally started to put the papers back into the envelope that they'd come in so they wouldn't blow away in the soft breeze. A small folded piece of paper inside the envelope was preventing the stack from sliding in easily. He pulled it out and inserted the other papers. The breeze blew the small paper off the table and when Dally picked it up, he saw that it was a note from Ponyboy.

"Here it is," the note said. "Let me know what you think. If you want me to change the names, I will. Dally's probably going to kill me."

That was all it said. Now he was a little curious. He pulled the papers back out of the envelope again.

He would later be thankful that someone had left the porch light on. He would be reading well into the night.

He flipped over the cover page and began to read...

"When I stepped out into the bright sunlight from the darkness of the movie house, I had only two things on my mind. Paul Newman and a ride home."

The End


End file.
